Imagine waking up from a shitty nap and suddenly you’re on this shiny-ass space ship, no idea how you got there, surrounded by nine girls who all look like someone fed hentai tropes into ChatGPT and then cranked the boobs slider to max. That’s Simon’s life now. Mine too, kinda. The vibe is like someone took Mass Effect, removed 90% of the serious plot, added 200% more tits and facial expressions that would probably break your jaw in real life. Every corridor on that ship feels like a horny TikTok thirst trap that never ends. You walk down a hallway and boom, one monster girl with slime on all the wrong/right places, next turn it’s some stacked space officer pretending she doesn’t love when you stare while she “adjusts her uniform”. The game is very self aware, it keeps roasting itself for being cliché, then instantly throws you into another “oops I fell on your dick” situation like it learned absolutely nothing.
What I liked a lot is how the teasing is baked into the flow. It’s not just click to see boobs, click again for creampie, done. Sometimes you’re in the middle of this “save the universe” nonsense and suddenly you’re locked in a room with a half-alien girl who insists this weird glowing machine is a “compatibility scanner” but, like, she’s already half naked before you can ask a single question. Or that one scene where you’re supposed to do a serious briefing, giant hologram galaxy behind you, but your brain is just gone because one of the crew is in a skin-tight suit that leaves absolutely nothing to imagination, and the game keeps giving you dialogue options that make you choose between acting like a captain or acting like a thirsty little shit. I always pick thirsty then complain internally. That’s how cam life prepared me for this, by the way. Juggling horny and pretending to be professional on webcam? Same energy. I swear one of the girls could be my regular from Chaturbate, the way she keeps doing full ahegao and pretending it’s “for research”. Yeah babe, same research I do with my Lovense when someone drops a big tip on OnlyFans.
The sex scenes themselves hit pretty hard. There are a lot of “oh fuck, I might get caught” moments that make it extra hot. Like fucking behind some half-open door while the rest of the crew is walking past, or getting pushed up against a glass panel inside the ship so anyone in space theoretically could see. Creampies are treated like they’re solving world hunger, everyone’s very proud of your dick. Sometimes too proud. There’s a monster girl scene where you’re basically being milked and I was like, this is too much, I hate it, don’t stop. The humor is dumb, in that good, horny-brain-on-Twitter way, with stupid one-liners and meme references that made me roll my eyes then laugh. The game also loves to cut away at the rudest moments. You’re about to nut and suddenly it jumps to some random sci fi nonsense about saving galaxies, like an annoying ad on Pornhub. Then five seconds later you’re back in another cabin with another set of giant tits bouncing in zero gravity, which doesn’t even make sense physically but whatever, I’m not here to fact check NASA. I wish they’d let the emotional parts breathe more, but honestly if they did, I’d probably just skip them to get to the next shameless exhibitionist scene, so maybe it’s fine the way it is and I’m lying to myself.