Simon Seiyaz. Even the name sounds like a placeholder the dev forgot to change. You wake up on a spaceship, nine women, saving the universe by sticking your dick in things. It's the plot of every third hentai flash game from 2006 and I'm here for it like a raccoon in a dumpster. The whole thing is a parody that knows it's a parody, winking so hard it might sprain something. The 3DCG models have that specific jank where the tits seem to operate on a different physics engine than the rest of the body, which is honestly perfect for the ahegao expressions. When those faces hit, they hit like a truck full of cartoonishly crossed eyes and drool.

The sci-fi setting is basically a hallway simulator with space windows. Doesn't matter. You're not here for the riveting plot about... what was it? Some mission. The monster girl shows up and I forgot everything else. She's got the teasing down to an art form, the kind of exhibitionism where she knows exactly what she's doing to the male protagonist and the player. The creampie scenes are messy and unapologetic, the way god intended. I do wish the dialogue had more bite though. For a humor tag, it plays things surprisingly straight sometimes, like it forgets it's allowed to be stupid. But then a character will say something so profoundly dumb about "dating in deep space" that I snort and forgive it.

The disjointed pace the description promises is real. Scenes just happen. One minute you're talking, next minute clothes are optional and someone's bent over a console. There's no smooth transition, just horny teleportation. It's like scrolling through a gallery with occasional text boxes. And you know what? Fine. I've played visual novels with better writing that were less honest about what they are. This thing has big tits and zero shame. The exhibitionism scenes on the ship's bridge are a highlight, everyone just going about their day while the protagonist gets... distracted. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?