What even is a sandbox when the box is already full of dicks? That's the first thing that hit me loading up this Jane sequel. The first one, I remember, was like a weird fever dream you have after too much cheap wine. This one? It's like the fever dream decided to get a job in an office where the dress code is just... skin. And the boss is, well, everyone.

The 3DCG models have that specific jank, you know the one. Like a doll that's been left too close to a radiator. But somehow, in the middle of a scene where Jane is getting triple-teamed by a color palette that screams "I just discovered contrast," the awkwardness loops back around to being the whole point. There's this one bit with a sex toy, a ridiculous purple thing that vibrates with the sound effect of an angry mosquito. I couldn't stop laughing. Then the scene shifted, she's on a balcony doing some exhibitionism thing, and the animation for the crowd below is just... three static sprites. One of them is definitely a tree. I think. The groping mechanics are basically a clicker game with moans, which is fine, I guess, but I spent ten minutes trying to find a button for a lesbian scene the tags promised and just ended up in another anal creampie loop. The male domination is so over the top it feels like a parody written by someone who learned about sex from a very aggressive washing machine manual.

Wait, I forgot to mention the RPG elements. There's a stat screen. I never looked at it. What's the point? Your strength stat isn't going to change the physics of that one interracial scene where the rhythm looks like a glitched out metronome. The female protagonist has the emotional range of a surprised mannequin, which is perfect. You don't need deep lore when you're trying to figure out if that's a handjob animation or just a very enthusiastic handshake. The multiple penetration scenes load with a slight delay, like the game itself needs a deep breath before the plunge. It's a mess. A sticky, confusing, unpolished mess that knows exactly what it is. I wish the sandbox part let you, I don't know, rearrange the furniture. But it won't. It never will. The oral sex segments have this wet, sloppy sound that's just a tiny bit too loud, like someone eating soup directly into your ear. And that's the whole vibe, really. Soup in your ear. Don't ask me what kind.