Doctor Stern's tits are a monument to bad decisions and I mean that as the highest compliment. The whole setup is ridiculous. Lost phone, late train, new landlady who looks like she could crush a watermelon between her thighs. And then you're supposed to just... go to work? On a Sunday evening? The game knows exactly what it's doing, dangling all this plush middle aged flesh in front of you while pretending there's a pharmaceutical plot somewhere in the background. There isn't. There's just women built like brick houses who want to sit on your face.

The receptionist, god. She's got this way of looking at you over her glasses that made me forget what a Palmer Pharma even produces. Something about the way the 3D models jiggle, it's not realistic but it's better than realistic. Like a memory of what porn should feel like. You pick dialogue options and suddenly you're getting jerked off in a supply closet while she whispers about how the boss can't find out. The handjob animation loops weirdly, three frames maybe, but honestly who cares when her wedding ring is still on and she's making that face. The game doesn't animate mouths during blowjobs. I noticed it immediately and then five minutes later I didn't care at all. That's the whole experience really. Technical jank that somehow loops back around to being charming.

Multiple endings supposedly but I've only found two and both involved the landlady walking in at the worst possible moment. The lab assistant path is where the real filth hides though. She starts all professional, lab coat buttoned up, talking about protocols. Twenty minutes later she's got her massive ass pressed against the centrifuge and you're learning things about yourself. The writing is surprisingly decent for something that's basically just setup for the next sex scene. Characters have actual personalities beyond their cup sizes. The barmaid remembers things you told her three scenes ago. That shouldn't be impressive but here we are. The game's still in development or something, some endings aren't done yet. The saleslady's route just... stops. Right when it was getting interesting with the hotel room and the champagne. Maybe that's fixed now. I should check.