This thing hits like finding some old forbidden flash animation on a busted XP computer, but hotter and way more focused on exactly one thing: cute ponies going full cock worship. No build up, no long fake plot about magic crystals or saving Equestria or whatever. You load it and boom, you’re staring at two familiar pastel girls, only now they’re more like greedy little fur sluts that learned exactly what a huge dick is for. Kinda felt like those days when you typed sketchy words into Newgrounds search and prayed parents don’t walk in, just with better strokes and more spit.

The vibe is weird in a nice way. On one side you got this shy, soft one, all nervous eyes and gentle touch, wrapping her hoof-hand thing around the shaft like she’s scared to hurt it, doing slow strokes, kissing the tip like it’s holy. Then suddenly, the other one jumps in like she’s been waiting all night for this horse sausage, going sloppy and wild, tongue everywhere, cheeks bulging, drool stringing down her chin. They take turns, then overlap, like they’re fighting for who gets more cum, which is kinda funny since neither of them is actually talking. It’s all body language: the little head tilts, the ears twitching, the way their eyes lock on that cock like it’s the last dessert in Ponyville. At one moment the slower one is just holding the base, stroking real carefully, and the other is deepthroating up and down, and that tiny detail of her free hoof rubbing his balls actually made me stop and rewind. Three times. I hate myself a bit for that and still did it again.

At some point the bigger background stuff just disappears from your brain and everything is about rhythm: handjob, tongue swirl, suction, then one pulls back to lick along the side while the other keeps pumping. It’s like they’re speedrunning “how fast we can milk this guy dry” but in a cozy way. The cock is huge too, not just “slightly above average”, more like these ponies have no idea how they’re fitting that thing in their cute little snouts and then somehow they do. I kinda wish there was a bit of teasing before it all starts, like showing how they got talked into it or who suggested it first, but at the same time, I replayed the middle section way more than I want to admit, so maybe that’s just me pretending I care about story. The last stretch when both of them are jerking him together, lips pressed on each side of the head, tongues flicking over the slit while their hooves move almost in sync, that hit the same brain spot as those ancient, wrong-feeling MLP gifs I used to secretly save on my old Nokia. Messy, horny, too specific, kind of stupid, and exactly what I was looking for without knowing.

Lara is already a walking fetish for half the internet, so seeing her dropped into this tiny horny forest scenario actually felt weirdly on-brand. She’s not raiding temples here, she’s just tired, lost between some samey trees, and you show up as exactly the kind of guy who would have an entire folder of her on his phone. The setup is dirt simple: she’s stranded, you’re the creepy fan who’s been stalking her route, and somewhere in your pocket is the magic code that calls in a helicopter. No big tomb puzzle, no ancient artifact, just one very modern trade: if she wants out, she has to make it worth your while. It’s all focused on that one dirty little power imbalance. She’s the famous adventurer with big tits and tight shorts, you’re the nobody with signal on his phone. The game leans into that hard, like fanfiction that escaped a DeviantArt page and accidentally learned how to be interactive.

What I liked is how direct it is. No fake morality, no “are we the bad guys?” monologue, just clear horny logic: she’s exhausted, she’s desperate, and you have leverage. The forest background barely changes, but it kind of helps. Feels like you both slipped out of the real Tomb Raider story into the sleazy hidden route you’d never see on Steam. The core scenes hit all the expected Lara fantasies: her big boobs framed in that tight top, that ass bending over when she’s “checking the map,” that moment where she stops arguing and her face changes from annoyed to calculating. You get a couple of choices that change how rough or cocky you act, but it never goes full branching route. It’s more like you’re nudging the vibe of one scene instead of choosing a whole storyline. There was a moment where she’s on her knees, mud on her legs, hair messed up from running through the jungle, and the game lets you pause just a bit longer than feels comfortable. That one beat, where she’s waiting for your answer, kind of sold the whole thing to me. And yeah, the tits look great, big and soft and a bit exaggerated, like someone drew them from memory using one hand.

I do wish they did something slightly smarter with the “password” idea. They set it up like there could be a twist, or maybe a fake-out where you never had the code at all, but no, it’s just your horny ticket out. At the same time, that dumb simplicity is part of the charm. It feels like one of those old browser games you found by accident in an Internet Explorer window behind a minimized homework tab, where nobody cared about deep systems, they just wanted to see Lara kneel and suck cock. The pacing is strange in a good way: it rushes you through the setup, then suddenly lingers on the blowjob, then speeds through the ending like it just remembered you probably need to clear your history. I played it on Chrome, alt-tabbing between this and Telegram, and every time a notification popped up right as Lara went down on me, I thought: yeah, this is exactly the level of shame this game is built for. There’s a small issue with how the text sometimes overlaps her chest and makes it harder to, you know, properly enjoy the view, and it annoyed me way more than it should, but I just kept going and never actually tried to fix it. In the end, you punch in the code, the chopper gets called, and she’s there with that “am I really doing this for a ride?” look on her face while you use her one more time like she’s just another dirty secret between the trees. It’s trashy, rushed, kinda janky, way too horny for how short it is, and it feels exactly like something a sweaty Lara fan would hack together after binging porn on their lunch break.

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