This Resident Evil parody throws you straight into Lady Dimitrescu's castle, and honestly? The devs knew exactly what they were doing. You're playing some poor bastard who's gotta survive Alcina's "trial" - which basically means getting dominated by a nine-foot vampire mommy and her equally stacked daughters. The turn-based combat system feels clunky at first, like they copy-pasted it from some RPG maker tutorial, but once you realize the real gameplay is about managing your stamina while getting your face buried in supernatural cleavage, it starts making sense. There's this one scene where Dimitrescu pins you against the wall and the camera angle is just... chef's kiss. The 3DCG models look decent enough, though Lady D's proportions are so exaggerated she looks like she'd topple over in real life.

Combat encounters blend into these weird BDSM scenarios where losing actually feels like winning. You'll find yourself deliberately failing just to see what creative punishment awaits. The spanking animations have more effort put into them than the actual sword fighting mechanics, which tells you where the priorities were. Sandbox elements let you explore the castle freely, groping your way through dark corridors while avoiding or seeking out the various monster girls lurking around. Some of the dialogue during sex scenes made me laugh out loud - not sure if that was intentional. The ahegao faces during climax moments are over-the-top ridiculous but somehow work within this campy horror-porn aesthetic.

What really caught me off guard was how they handled the size difference fetish stuff. Tall vs short dynamics play out in every interaction, from handjobs where your character can barely reach to titfuck scenes that look physically impossible. The harem aspect kicks in later when you're juggling multiple supernatural ladies, each with their own domination preferences. Voice acting ranges from surprisingly good to hilariously bad, but the moaning sounds authentic enough. Fair warning though - the grinding gets repetitive and some animations loop awkwardly.

You’re broke, pissed off at everything, and kind of numb already when the game just tosses Rei at you like some bugged NPC that wandered off the tutorial area. She’s sleeping on the sidewalk, dirty, hungry, weirdly cute, and clearly fucked by life even harder than you are. You poke her awake, expecting some quick “thanks” then she runs off. Nope. She sticks. That’s where this thing actually starts to feel fun: two losers trying to pretend they’re adults while everything around them screams “game over” in slow motion.

It’s half “try not to starve” and half “try not to jerk yourself raw”, and the balance is way more fragile than I want to admit. One moment you’re counting every coin, juggling shitty jobs on your phone like it’s some cursed version of a finance app, checking if you can afford basic food for both of you. Next moment, Rei’s in that tiny room, wearing clothes that might as well not count as clothes, asking if you “want a break”. You’re like, yeah, obviously, but also rent exists. And it kind of becomes the loop: work, feed her, talk to her, spy a bit when she thinks you’re not watching, unlock new scenes, repeat. There’s this stupid thrill when she leans over you with those huge tits and gives this shy-but-not-that-shy handjob, and the game treats it like you just hit some romance flag you didn’t deserve. Then she does something ridiculous, like trying to “thank you properly” with a messy titfuck after a shitty day, and you forget you were supposed to be planning your budget at all. I actually laughed once when she tried to make giving you a blowjob sound like some noble reward and then gagged halfway, eyes watering, and still pushed through because she didn’t want to “fail”. That hit my corruption braincell and my “this is terrible but hot” braincell at the same time.

It’s also kind of fun how the story wanders around like it’s drunk. Sometimes it plays like a parody of every poverty romance you ever saw, making fun of your pathetic room and your tragic wallet. Sometimes it suddenly drops a bit of sweetness that feels like you walked into the wrong genre, like when she curls up on your bed just to sleep and you can choose not to touch her at all, just watch, like a creep with feelings. Then later she’s straddling you, pussy grinding over you, moaning way louder than that cheap room’s walls can hide, and you get hit with that “I really shouldn’t be doing this but I’m already in balls-deep” vibe. There’s a bit of that harem teasing too, like the world is full of other girls that might fall into your orbit if you push the sandbox parts hard enough, but Rei feels like the main disaster you’re signing up for. It’s messy, a little trashy, sometimes oddly tender, like a dating sim that got lost on a porn site and decided to stay. You’re poor, horny, watching this girl slowly change under your influence while you sc*** by, and somewhere between the voyeur peeks, the cheap dates, and the rough sex on a bed that looks like it smells, it kind of starts to feel like a fucked-up fantasy that never pretends to be anything else.

Luke's got this whole university thing figured out - or at least he thinks he does. This isn't your typical college romance where some awkward freshman stumbles through dating mishaps. Nah, Luke's been through this rodeo before, literally. Time loops, resets, whatever you want to call it - he's lived his first year over and over until he's basically gaming the system. Now he's ready for what he calls "Phase Two," which sounds way more strategic than it probably should be for a guy just trying to get laid.

The whole premise is pretty wild when you think about it. Luke's essentially become a relationship speedrunner, knowing exactly which buttons to push with each girl. There's this maid cafe setup that becomes central to everything - because of course there is. The game throws you into managing relationships with different girls who each have their own specific kinks and fetishes. One minute you're dealing with some vanilla romance situation, next thing you know you're deep in BDSM territory or watching some serious NTR unfold. The variety is honestly overwhelming sometimes. You've got your classic anime parody characters mixed in too - I spotted what looked like Nico Robin and Boa Hancock variants, which feels both nostalgic and weird at the same time.

What gets me is how the game handles the whole "perfect base" concept Luke keeps talking about. It's like he's treating relationships like some kind of RPG stat management, which... honestly isn't that far from reality if we're being real here. The turn-based combat elements feel randomly thrown in, but somehow work with the overall simulator vibe. There's phone interactions, dating mechanics, and this whole corruption progression system that gets pretty intense. The multiple endings thing means you're constantly second-guessing your choices, wondering if you're optimizing for the right fetish path or missing out on some kinky scenario. Luke might have his advantage, but navigating all these relationship dynamics still feels like controlled chaos.

This thing feels like somebody took a management sim, a broken-down harem VN and a pile of horny sci-fi doodles from a high school notebook, shook it hard and then forgot to polish it. You start as this loser tech kid living in a dusty warehouse full of dead sex robots, which is already funny because the game treats that like a normal career path. You’re fixing up bots to keep the shop alive, juggling repairs, dates and money, while ogling everything with tits that walks in. Or doesn’t walk, some of them just lie there on a workbench with their chassis open and you’re basically licking your lips over a spreadsheet. It sounds awful, I know, but it actually works in a kinda trashy, “I shouldn’t enjoy this” way. The whole vibe is like a maid cafe from the future crashed into a junkyard, and now you’re the only idiot trying to organize it. Half the time you’re checking stats, the other half you’re trying to decide if you want to upgrade a servo or see if that new robot maid will let you push her face down on the counter and suck you off as a “function test”. That part is… yeah, the game leans hard into that.

What really made my brain start generating fanart ideas is how it mixes dirty robot fetish with normal romance stuff without warning. You’ll have this soft little scene where you’re talking to a shy maid bot about purpose and feelings and identity, and two clicks later she’s on her knees, drooling on your cock while you grip her synthetic hair and watch her eyes glitch. Those eyes are perfect for painting, by the way, that glossy plastic with a tiny reflection of neon warehouse light while she’s doing a messy blowjob test. Then she stands up, wipes her mouth like a good maid, and the game throws in some dumb joke that actually made me snort, something about warranty periods voided by titfucks. It doesn’t even pretend to be tasteful. There’s a whole thing where you “optimize efficiency” by groping their huge asses under their maid uniforms, just casually, while you check their diagnostics. One scene had me “recalibrating tactile sensors” by sliding my hand between her thighs, teasing her, then pushing her onto a table for a slow, vanilla vaginal fuck that looks anything but vanilla because she’s in full cosplay maid gear and calling you master with that slightly-off robot smile. And then later there’s this bit with an organic girl and a robot in the same room that gets into cheating territory, where you’re basically using the sexbot as an excuse and you know exactly what you’re doing. I kind of hated that I liked it.

I keep thinking about painting one of the bots sitting in your lap in the workshop, half-disassembled, wires showing at her shoulder, but her huge tits are perfectly intact and pressed around your cock. Her hands are covered in oil while she gives you a slow handjob and you can see your reflection in her chrome collar. Stuff like that is all over the place in the game. There’s interracial bodies in there too, which looks really nice in that slightly clunky 3D style they use, skin tones against shiny metal, big asses in tight maid skirts bending over robot parts, like some weird future cafe where the menu is just “services”. The whole thing stumbles between goofy humor and horny trainer sim, sometimes you’re managing schedules, sometimes you’re watching a fully animated titfuck with audio that’s a bit off, like the moans come a tiny bit late, and it bugs me every single time. I kept noticing that, and then forgetting it again when the camera angles change and you get that close shot of a maid’s lips around the tip, drool dripping on your balls, her voice module glitching while she tries to keep saying her cute line. It’s rough, a bit ugly here and there, menus feel clunky on mobile, but my head is already full of little watercolor thumbnails of broken sexbots in stained maid uniforms, kneeling in dark corners of the warehouse, waiting for you to “repair” them in all the wrong ways.