Become Alpha is a porn game with tons of memes, kickass branching storyline, quests, RPG-like experience system, and a possibility to have sex with many partners. It's also pretty damn funny. The story is about Harry Panuchkin who's a nerd and a wannabe gangster. He has a big dick, but never actually used it. It's your job to help him get the pussy and make him a proper alpha male, that he always wanted to be.

It’s a weird kind of wrong that feels almost too confident about itself. The game just throws you right into this hotel-room-styled tension between Ben and Gwen, like there’s no excuse, no build-up, just quiet breathing and the kind of slow curiosity that only gets worse the more you watch. The control scheme is barely there - you think you’re just clicking around to peek, but then you’re moving hands and lips like you’re trying to pass off an accident as an experiment. The pacing makes it feel like time stretches sideways. There’s that one moment where Gwen turns, half-asleep, and it’s not clear if she knows what’s happening, and you catch yourself leaning closer like a total creep. God help me, I think that’s intentional.

Half the time the audio feels too loud, but maybe that’s the point - it’s not polished, like it’s meant to break the “cartoon world” with uncomfortable realism. The blowjob scene looks like it was stitched together by someone who didn’t care about pretty, just raw motion, the way her throat tightens around him while he mutters things that sound more like apologies than dirty talk. And then when you switch to doggystyle, yeah it’s cliché, but the way the lighting flickers - it’s distracting as hell and, weirdly, kind of hypnotic. The game’s rhythm keeps screwing with you: it slows down on the heavy stuff like missionary creampie and then speeds up when you least expect, like the code itself is embarrassed about what it’s showing. I got annoyed at that. Then again, maybe that’s why I didn’t stop.

You can tell whoever made this knew exactly what nostalgia they were playing with, too. There’s this sick mix of childhood memory and adult hunger that no one wants to admit enjoying. Kind of like watching something too close to a secret. The handjob bit feels almost shy, then the facial lands out of nowhere, breaking the build-up in the most abrupt, stupidly real way. I hate that it worked. I hate that my mouse hand twitched even after the final loop restarted. If that’s not the most human reaction, I don’t know what is.

Climax Yoga is basically Mei fanservice turned into a little horny science experiment, and it kinda leans hard into the idea that she’s a stressed-out nerd with huge curves who really, really needs a break. You’re the so-called scientist, but honestly it feels more like you’re a perv with a lab coat as a flimsy excuse. The setup is stupid in a fun way: she’s overloaded with “negative energy” or whatever, and the “treatment” is a mix of yoga poses and fucking her until that cute chubby body shakes like jelly. The game knows exactly what it’s doing, too. Mei isn’t just “slightly thick”, she’s full-on soft: big tits that squish and bounce, ass that stretches her yoga pants to hell, belly with just enough plush that you want to grab it when you thrust. Nothing subtle here, thank god.

The rhythm is simple but it works if you’re into edging yourself a bit. You click through dialogue where she tries to stay professional, talking about stress, experiments, breathing techniques, while the camera keeps sneaking lower, catching her butt in tight leggings, her tits under a too-small sports top. Then the minigame pops in, and it’s basically “do you have enough coordination left in your horny brain to keep the bar in the right place.” It’s not explained much, it just appears, and you kinda figure it out while staring at her body. I played in Chrome on my laptop with like six other tabs open and it still ran fine, though the audio desynced once and it annoyed the hell out of me for no reason. She moans off-beat and suddenly I’m thinking about debugging instead of fucking a fictional snow scientist. That was the only moment where the mood really broke for me. Rest of the time I was half-slouched on my chair, one hand on the mouse, the other doing exactly what you think.

What sold it for me is how they make Mei look just exhausted at the start, bags under her eyes, tense shoulders, kind of shy about stretching in front of you, then gradually she loosens up. At one point I purposely messed up the minigame just to see if she’d get mad, and instead she just bites her lip and complains about needing “more focus” while her nipples are clearly poking through the fabric. The parody side is pretty on the nose: she talks about data, thermal output, and “stabilizing her core” while you’re basically rearranging her insides. There’s this one scene where she’s in a yoga bridge, ass in the air, belly stretched, and you’re thrusting into her while she tries to keep her voice calm like she’s still giving a lecture, and it absolutely breaks down into needy whimpering. It’s dumb, horny, and short, but I kinda liked how unpolished it feels, like some horny coder threw this together between Overwatch matches and just really, really likes thick nerd girls. Honestly, same.

Damn, I was expecting some polished AAI production but got this weird fever dream instead. The whole premise sounds like someone threw every popular waifu into a blender with vacation vibes - you got Hinata lounging by pools, Tsunade doing... well, Tsunade things, and somehow Makima ended up serving cocktails? The art's all over the place too, some CG looks decent while others feel rushed, but honestly that's part of the charm. You're this resort worker trying to bang basically every anime girl who ever made you question your life choices during puberty.

What gets me is how they just dumped everyone together without caring about continuity. Bulma's chatting with Nami about... resort management I guess? While Yor's doing her assassin thing but in a bikini. The dialogue ranges from surprisingly sweet romance attempts to straight-up "let's fuck behind the tiki bar" energy. Some scenes with Mitsuri actually made me feel things before immediately cutting to Nobara being aggressive as hell - gave me whiplash but not complaining. The sandbox elements let you wander around hitting on whoever, though the interaction system feels clunky. Sometimes clicking on Yoruichi just makes her repeat the same flirty line three times.

The sex scenes vary wildly - some are genuinely hot with decent buildup, others feel like they were animated by someone who learned anatomy from hentai exclusively. Shinobu's route surprised me with actual character development before the inevitable creampie finale. Meanwhile Makima's just... being Makima but horny, which works I guess? The whole thing feels unfinished in places, dialogue cuts off mid-sentence sometimes, but there's enough content to keep you busy. Just don't expect AAA polish when you're getting your rocks off to seeing Momo in situations that'd make her classmates blush.