First thing, this game feels like someone mashed together Pornhub search history and a political sim in Nutaku on a cracked tablet, and somehow it works way better than it should. You’re not the president, you’re the creep in the shadows tugging the strings while this poor bastard in the White House is basically your remote-controlled sex dispenser. One moment you’re forcing him to sign some “anti-drug” bill so your company can sell even stronger shit under the table, next moment you’re sending him to a “private negotiation” where he has to suck up to a foreign leader’s “secretary” who looks suspiciously like Tifa Lockhart with a bigger ass and that lazy ahegao smirk. There’s this scene where you blackmail him using a video where he gets milked by a domme that looks like a mix of Lady Dimitrescu and Lara Croft, towering over him in heels, slapping his face while he whimpers, and the game is like “approval rating down 5%” and I actually laughed because yeah, sounds American enough.

Touch controls on phone are super scuffed but in a hot way. You’re dragging dialogue options like “humiliate the president publicly” or “sell your own daughter to a lobbyist for influence” and it’s messed up, but the UI is light enough you can play with one hand on Chrome while pretending you’re checking Telegram. The scenes themselves use those 3dcg models with a lot of jiggle and shiny skin, and the camera really likes big tits and big asses. Sometimes you’re in an office corruption scene with some cyberpunk style escort that’s obviously a D.Va cosplay girl turned prostitute, sometimes it jumps hard into bestiality or tentacle stuff with no warning, like you’re in a normal blackmail route and suddenly the “experimental biotech partner” is tentacles teaching the president what “real diplomacy” is. My brain went wait, what, but my other brain already accepted it. There’s a really nasty incest subplot too, where you can push your “family protection” angle into full-on corruption, trading your own sister’s ass to a senator for votes, with a voiced line where she sobs and still moans a bit, and that hit a particular degeneracy button that Harem Hotel style games love. One thing that annoyed me: the game keeps teasing Judy Hopps and Cyberpunk 2077 style chrome hookers in ads inside the world, but doesn’t let you actually click into all of them yet, just little exhibitionism events where the president is forced to watch while you test new toys on some slave girl. Also they said no soundtrack, and yeah, it’s dead quiet, only voice and sex sounds, which weirdly makes the humiliation scenes feel more raw, like some leaked OnlyFans set, but my phone speaker clicking with every tap is still more immersion than I asked for.

You start as this scrawny kid who basically got fucked by life before he even hit puberty. Happy little home, mom who actually cares, then some random pirate bastards show up, burn everything, and steal her away like she’s just another treasure chest. He grows up with that hole in his chest, clinging to this “justice” idea, so he joins the marines thinking he’s gonna be a hero. Of course that goes to shit. The game doesn’t waste time pretending the marines are noble. You find out they’re corrupt as hell, they use people, they throw innocents away, and you’re just another disposable grunt. That whole part actually hits harder than I expected in a porn game. One moment you’re chasing promotion, next moment you’re watching “justice” torture someone and you realize you’re the bad guy. Then he flips the table and goes full pirate. Not the Luffy idiot kind, more like “I’ll use this world’s filth to get my mom back and have fun while I’m at it” kind of pirate.

And his fun? Yeah, that’s where the akuma-no-mi comes in. It’s this weird fruit that takes forever to awaken, then suddenly you’re controlling desire like it’s another limb. Not boring mind control, more like you twist reality just a bit and push people right to the edge where they want to be used. So when he picks up his “crew” made entirely of One Piece girls, it’s basically every horny fanfic from old forums mashed together, but actually interactive. Nami acting bitchy and money hungry but melting when you push her into a corner and make her pay her “debt” with a sloppy titfuck on the captain’s chair. Robin, all calm and clever, letting you tie her up and pretend you’re interrogating a dangerous criminal while your hands are everywhere, from her huge tits to her ass, and she’s trying to keep a straight face and failing. Nojiko with that fake tough attitude, straddling you for a slow, wet vaginal ride after a long argument where she pretends she doesn’t want it. Mozu being the surprise favorite, by the way, because there’s this one voyeurism scene where you catch her masturbating in a storage room, whispering your name, thinking you’re not around. You can walk away like a gentleman or just step out, grab her by the hair, and finish what she started. Guess which one I picked. The game loves teasing that choice thing, like a low budget “choose your own adventure” but with way more cum and way less dignity.

The tone jumps between adventure story and straight up pervy as hell. One moment you’re sailing after rumors of the Straw Hats, the next you’re balls deep in some crazy group scene with Nami, Robin and Nojiko taking turns on your cock while the others watch through a crack in the door. The akuma-no-mi lets you push them into stuff they’d “never do” in the original anime, so you get anal drills, messy creampies, tentacle bullshit with sea kings you bait on purpose, toys shoved where they shouldn’t fit, even some heavy female domination moments where Nami literally rides your face and tells you a “real captain” should know how to serve. Sometimes the pacing is weird, like you’re in the middle of a dramatic revelation about your mother and suddenly it cuts to a footjob scene on the deck, toes wrapped around your shaft while you’re trying to care about the plot. Also, whoever decided to make the main character a virgin at the start but then instantly turns him into this sex god after the fruit awakens clearly has never touched a real human body. And I swear, the little UI camera icon for voyeur scenes is like two pixels too far to the right and it drives me insane every time. But when you’re watching Nami and Robin go full lesbian on each other, tongues deep, fingers everywhere, your brain kinda forgets to complain. The game knows exactly what it is: a messy fantasy where justice is fake, pirates are hot, and every big ass and big tits in this universe eventually ends up sweating and moaning under you, or on top of you, or around you, or all three at once.

Infinity Crisis Island feels like someone mashed together horny fanart from Reddit, a Ren’Py starter project, and a beach episode from every Marvel/DC cartoon, then forgot to put on the brakes. You’re the owner of this stupidly nice beach house on a tropical island, and heroes from both universes just kind of… show up. Not with epic plots, not with world saving, just with tight bikinis and way too much pent-up energy. The first one to crash at your place is She-Hulk, and she’s exactly the kind of big green problem you don’t try to fix. Thick ass, huge tits squeezed in a swimsuit that looks like it lost the fight, muscles everywhere, but the game leans hard into her being chill and playful instead of just “angry monster lady”. It’s not subtle at all, and that’s part of the fun. You pick your character, slap a name on him, and start trying to talk your way into her pants, and the writing is simple but horny in a very direct way. No long fake-deep monologues, just choices like “be a cocky bastard” or “pretend you’re a gentleman” and hoping she likes that vibe.

The UI looks like classic Ren’Py stuff, very basic, but it runs smooth on both laptop and phone. I tested it in Chrome on Android while pretending to “check Slack” and it never lagged or broke. Dialog pops fast, the click-to-advance pace feels good when you’re one-handed and impatient. The art is honestly the main reason to stay. She-Hulk is drawn thick as hell, with that big green ass taking half the screen sometimes, and there’s this funny contrast of comic-book cosplay and outright porn. You get kissing scenes that start kind of sweet, then just escalate into handjob under the swimsuit, then blowjob with drool everywhere, then full-on pussy pounding and creampies that leave her looking used but still teasing you. The game doesn’t shy away from cum shots at all; there’s plenty of white mess, mouth full, tits covered, thick ropes sliding down abs. Titfucks are there too, and not the lazy “two frames and done” kind. She pushes her huge boobs together, your cock slides between, and the camera angle sells the fantasy way better than I expected for a parody VN.

What actually surprised me is how the choices mess with the mood. You can play her like some raging monster who just wants to be fucked hard, or lean into her being laid back and flirty, and the sex scenes adjust their tone. Same positions, same basic events, but the way she talks changes a lot. Sometimes she’s talking shit, calling you out on being a perv, sometimes she’s more like “yeah, I needed this, keep going”, and that does a lot for the vibe. The game also likes to tease you with wrong answers that don’t fully lock you out, just slow things down, which is actually hotter in some routes. There’s one moment where you go from joking banter on the beach to her pinning you to the couch and grinding that big green pussy on your cock through your trunks, and it feels earned because of how you talked to her before. It’s still simple, it’s not Persona, but for a short horny parody it hits way better than it has any right to. Just don’t expect any deep narrative about superheroes or some multiverse crisis. The “crisis” is basically “can your dick keep up with a green amazon who wants anal, a creampie, and maybe a second round if you don’t talk like an idiot.” And honestly, that’s enough.

Kinda funny how this game feels more like scrolling horny Reddit at midnight than some epic ninja adventure. You start as this random chuunin dude with a weird eye power and right away the vibe is: yeah, you’re here to fuck around with the Naruto girls, stop pretending otherwise. The “open world” thing is more like you wandering around Konoha tapping places on your screen, spying on people, bumping into events by accident. I was on my phone on the bus, headphones in, thinking it’s just some light fanservice, then suddenly Hinata is on her knees, drool on her lips, and I’m sitting there trying not to tilt my screen away like a guilty teenager. The animations are simple but they move just enough. Boobs sway, hips grind, tentacles drip. It’s not pretty in the high-budget way. It’s more dirty, like a sketchbook full of horny doodles that somehow came alive and started sucking you off.

What really hit me is how they play with all the characters you kinda had a crush on years ago but never admitted. Tsunade’s tits are huge and heavy, they actually bounce when she rides you, not like in those stiff hentai gifs. Hinata pretends to be shy but then she’s taking your cock between her boobs, pushing them together herself while whispering your name. I got a footjob from Ino on a random “training” scene and felt weirdly called out, because I didn’t think I was into feet, but the way her toes slide along the shaft, with that smug expression like she knows you’re about to blow, yeah, that did something. Then there’s the more twisted stuff. You’re peeking through a door and see Karin getting pounded by some monster thing with way too many limbs, and instead of being scared the first thought is “oh fuck, that looks good”, and you feel a bit broken in the head… but you still click next. Tentacles wrapping around thighs, holding arms back, pushing into every hole. Multiple penetration scenes where you can’t even keep track where your dick is supposed to be anymore, just a mess of skin and dripping fluids and girls moaning your name like you’re the last man in the world. One moment you’re tongue deep between Sakura’s legs while she grips your hair, next moment you’re climaxing inside some monster girl with glowing eyes, her claws on your chest. Feels like a horny fever dream written by someone who watched Naruto in middle school and never got over it.

The funny part, there is actual game under all that porn, which is kinda annoying because sometimes I just want to skip the turn based fights and go back to watching Sarada and Sumire grinding on each other, fingers slippery, thighs pressed tight, pupils blown like they’re high on you. You gotta wander around, talk to people, level up, figure small quests, and I kept getting lost because I forgot what I was doing the moment a stripping scene started. One second the story is about ancient clans and your special eye power, next second Tsunade has you pinned to her desk, her big ass slamming down on your lap while she milks you like you owe her rent. There’s voyeur stuff all over: peeking at Tenten changing, catching Ayame washing herself behind the shop, Himawari doing something she absolutely shouldn’t be doing at that age in canon, but here she’s drawn older and ready and you kinda just roll with it. Sometimes I was half playing, half scrolling Telegram, then the game hits you with an animated creampie shot so thick and messy you drop everything. Watching the cum drip out slowly while the girl’s body still trembles around you feels way more intimate than it has any right to be in a cheap mobile-style sandbox like this. I keep telling myself I’m done with it, that it’s too dumb, but then I open Chrome again and somehow I’m back in Konoha, chasing the next blowjob scene like a clown.