So there's this game called Cartoon Hearts and honestly? It's kinda weird but in that good way where you can't look away from a car crash, except the car crash is horny teenagers and cartoon characters going to high school together.

You play some random dude - because it's always some random dude, isn't it - walking around what looks like a normal city but surprise! Raven's doing her goth thing in art class, Violet Parr's trying not to phase through her desk during math, and Starfire's probably setting something on fire in chemistry because that's just Tuesday for her. The whole setup is unhinged in the best possible way. Like someone took Saturday morning cartoons and said "what if they all went to the same school and had raging hormones?" which is either brilliant or deeply concerning depending on your perspective. The writing bounces between actually clever character interactions and moments where you're like wait did Raven just say that? Because she did and it's weird but also... kinda works?

Each girl's got her whole personality thing going on - shy artist with mysterious vibes, popular athlete who's secretly insecure, alien princess who doesn't understand human customs but definitely understands human anatomy. Standard visual novel fare but with characters you actually recognize instead of Generic Anime Girl #47. The dialogue gets pretty explicit when things heat up, which they do because that's literally the point. Some scenes hit different when it's characters you've known since you were like twelve, creates this whole cognitive dissonance that's either your thing or absolutely not your thing. No middle ground here. The art style does this thing where it tries to stay true to the original designs while making them more... adult-oriented, if you catch my drift. Sometimes it works great, other times Starfire looks like she walked out of a completely different universe than Teen Titans but whatever, you're not here for art consistency anyway.

Tony Stark finally gets to act like Tony Stark here, not the sad movie version always saving the universe instead of getting laid. You start in this obscene luxury island mansion that looks like somebody mashed together a billionaire’s Airbnb, a secret SHIELD bunker and a nightclub from Miami that never closes. The game just drops you in as the smug asshole host of an endless “hero party”, with Gwen Stacy on the balcony checking city views, Raven pretending not to care in a dark corner, Supergirl trying to look wholesome while wearing something that would get you banned on Twitch, and you thinking about profit margins while also planning whose panties you’re gonna take off next. It sounds like a power fantasy because it is, but the fun part is how messy and horny it gets when the whole “management” part starts clashing with “I want to creampie every superheroine in this building”.

One moment I was in some fake meeting room talking business numbers with Stark’s AI, flicking through contracts like on Google Sheets, trying to keep the party budget from exploding. Five clicks later I’m in the pool area, flirting with Spider-Gwen, picking joke options about web shooters that really should not have worked, and suddenly the dialogue goes from snarky to filthy real fast. It has that thing where your choices stack up quietly, so after a few shameless lines and one badly timed compliment about her ass, she still ends up in your room casually stroking you through your pants like it’s just another Tuesday. The game treats handjobs as just a warm-up, not some big event, which is kinda funny because they animate it like it’s a ceremony. And when she finally climbs on top and you choose whether to pull out or fill her up, the game actually reacts in later scenes with her being a little more clingy, or weirdly sarcastic about you not knocking her up. I picked creampie first time just because the button was bright and I have zero self control, then spent the next in-game day sweet talking her like I didn’t basically turn her into my personal breeding experiment.

What I liked a lot is how the heroines don’t feel copy-paste. Raven is cold and slow to open up, which makes it absolutely priceless when she goes from passive-aggressive spell girl to pressing her soaked panties into your hand in the training room. Supergirl acts like she’s above normal horniness, until you catch her alone on the terrace and push a bit harder, then suddenly she’s begging you to fuck her like some random fan, not a symbol of hope. Black Cat and Wonder Woman show up later and kinda blow up whatever “plan” you had, since they respond better when you act even more arrogant than usual. There was this stupid moment where I promised Scarlet Witch I’d help with some experiment, completely forgot, spent the night pounding She-Hulk in the gym shower, and then had to deal with Wanda throwing me this jealous, half-psycho magic tantrum while still obviously wanting my dick. The tone is all over the place in a good way: one room you’re talking business strategy like a tycoon game, next room you’re raw-dogging a superheroine on Stark-branded bedsheets, hoping the AI doesn’t comment. It’s horny, dumb, strangely clever sometimes, and absolutely not interested in making you feel like a good person. Which is kind of the point when you’re running a never-ending party where every hero girl eventually ends up naked and breathing hard into your ear.

Kid grows up in the woods with a horny brain and zero social skills, that’s basically the whole mood here. You play this feral dude who got raised by a she-wolf, then suddenly tossed back into a huge “normal” house full of blood relatives with big tits, big asses and way too much lingerie for any actual family gathering. He’s supposed to “reconnect” with them and act civilized, but his idea of boundaries is what a wolf pack has, so… yeah. That’s where it starts getting filthy fast. The game leans really hard into that contrast: he pads around silently like an animal, but the camera keeps treating his new home like a porn set, zooming in on lace panties riding up a thick milf’s ass while she pretends this is just a completely normal reunion. Watching him stalk through the hallway at night while the blonde is bending over in her thin robe, thinking no one sees her, is honestly the best part. It feels creepy and hot at the same time, which I guess is the point.

The engine is that typical 3dcg VN style, but they really push the curves here. Every woman looks like the artist loves giant boobs more than sleep. There’s the tall milf with soft, heavy breasts that spill out of her bra if you even breathe on the clasp, the goth girl in black lace who acts like she hates everything but still leaves her door cracked open when changing, and the brunette who pretends to be the “responsible one” while walking around the kitchen in a shirt that barely covers her nipples. The MC moves through all this like he’s still in the forest, sniffing around doors, peeking through cracks, groping by “accident” because he literally doesn’t understand that grabbing a handful of big ass in the hallway is not a normal greeting. You get scenes where he’s watching through a half-open door while the blonde tugs off her panties, and the camera lingers way longer than it should on how the fabric sticks to her wet slit before dropping to her ankles. Another time he’s alone with the goth teen in her room, she’s in black stockings and that short skirt, reading, and you get this slow POV shot when his hand slides over her thigh like he’s testing new prey. She slaps him, but the game clearly enjoys that moment way too much to pretend it’s just “story”.

What I actually like is that his wild side is not just a line in the plot. Dialogues are rough, he mispronounces things, asks super blunt questions about bodies and sex, and the choices often boil down to “try to act like a normal guy” or “follow your animal instinct and touch what your eyes are glued to”. Early on you can sneak under the milf’s blanket while she’s sleeping, nose almost pressed between those big breasts, just breathing her in, hand hovering over her nipple until you give in and pinch it. She wakes up moaning before she realizes what’s going on, and yeah, that scene is dirty in a way that sticks in your head. Another time he corners the brunette in the laundry room, fascinated by a pair of her lacy panties hanging there, and she catches him sniffing them, face half buried in the fabric. The writing pretends to be shocked, but the camera is doing overtime on every curve of her body while she’s scolding him. It’s not really subtle. The only thing that drives me crazy is how one of the doors in the corridor always looks like it should open to some secret voyeur scene, with the goth masturbating or something, but no, it just does nothing, every single click. I know it’s probably for a later update, but it taunts me every time I pass by, like “hey, there’s more pervy stuff here” and then, nothing.

I wasn’t even sure why I clicked “play” on this thing, maybe boredom, maybe curiosity, maybe just that dumb impulse you get when your brain wants something soft and warm to sink into. The game pretends to be about family drama and old memories, but five minutes in you realize it’s really about staring at people too long and overthinking every choice that might lead to someone taking their clothes off. Which sounds cheap, but it isn’t? Or maybe it *is*, and that’s kinda the charm. There’s this weird pacing, like half soap opera, half porno, with pauses long enough for you to question what you’re doing with your life before the next moan interrupts. Aunt Megan shows up looking like a walking contradiction - proper tone, dirty eyes - and I kept thinking, “she knows exactly what she’s doing.” Then forgot all about that thought when the screen went dark because I missed a dialogue cue.

What surprised me most: the teasing is actually… patient. Like, the game doesn’t rush. It lets you stew. Everyone’s pretending not to notice how tight the air gets whenever the MC walks into a room, and those moments hit harder because they feel almost accidental. One scene - with the older woman bent over a kitchen counter complaining about her back - had more tension than any of the “explicit” ones. Don’t even get me started on the small-tit character, she’s written like she’s always two seconds away from snapping at you, then does something so soft you forget what she said. Kinda embarrassing how much that worked on me. The sound design helps too - not high-budget, but the little sighs, the way footsteps echo on tile floors, it bleeds realism in all the wrong ways.

Anyway, I was gonna complain about how some routes feel half-finished, how the interracial scenes pop up outta nowhere, but then again, maybe that’s part of the mess. It feels human in that sense - uneven, horny, sentimental, lazy, weirdly tender. I stopped trying to find the “point” halfway through. Maybe that’s when it got good.