You ever just click through a kinetic novel and feel like you're watching someone's rough draft? That's this Eternal Bonds prequel thing. No choices, no branches, just a straight line through some 3DCG scenes that feel like they were rendered on a laptop from 2015. The models have that plastic sheen, you know the one, where skin looks like it would squeak if you touched it.

The setup is basic. Male protagonist, some exhibitionist streak, and a lesbian couple who apparently need a guy to complete their... research? The oral sex scene has this weird camera angle that cuts off half the face, like the dev couldn't figure out where to place the POV. And the handjob bit. Christ. The fingers clip through the shaft three separate times. I counted. Not because I'm picky but because when you're tracking achievements there's literally nothing else to focus on during these sequences. The vaginal sex at the end at least has some decent sound mixing, wet noises that don't sound like someone stirring mac and cheese, but then the female model's expression just stays frozen in this half-lidded stare that's supposed to be arousal but reads more like she's checking her phone over your shoulder.

What gets me is the romance tag. Where? The dialogue jumps from "nice weather" to "let me watch you two" with the grace of a brick through a window. No buildup, no tension, just horny teleportation. The exhibitionism could've been interesting if the writing had any sense of risk or thrill, but it's all so mechanical. Click. Moan. Click. Cum. Achievement unlocked I guess.

I wish the lesbian characters had any personality beyond being a matched set for the protagonist to insert himself into. There's a moment where one of them mentions their "eternal bond" and I snorted. You've known each other for what feels like twenty minutes of runtime. The whole thing is a proof of concept, sure, but what concept exactly? That you can render a dick in Daz3D? Groundbreaking. Still, the one vaginal creampie scene has this surprisingly tender moment right at the end, a hand squeeze that almost made me forget the clipping disaster from earlier. Almost.

You ever read The Turn of the Screw and think, yeah, but what if the ghost was ridiculously thicc? That's this game. The whole setup is a college test of courage, which is already the most anime bullshit way to get a guy alone in a haunted building. Your friends are dicks, they ditch you, and suddenly the peeling paint and flickering lights aren't just for atmosphere. There's a woman here. She's dead. She is, and I cannot stress this enough, absolutely stacked.

The 3DCG is jank. Properly jank. Like someone learned Blender last Tuesday and decided their first project would be a horror themed porno. The animations during the vaginal sex scenes have that weird, weightless quality where limbs clip through torsos and the physics engine is clearly on vacation. But honestly? It adds to the whole grimy charm. It feels like a cursed PS2 game you'd find in a landfill, the kind of thing that would make your console smell like burnt plastic. The ghost girl's design is the main event. Massive tits, a big ass that the camera really wants you to notice, and a face that's stuck somewhere between "I will devour your soul" and "uwu." The graphic violence tag isn't a joke either. There's a jump scare involving a broken neck that made me drop my phone, right before a sex scene that made me pick it back up with a very different emotion.

The adventure mechanics are basically just clicking on doors until something happens. You're on a campus, but it's just a series of spooky hallways. You get a superpower? I think? At one point my guy's hand glowed and I just went with it. The story tries to be deep about saving yourself, but let's be real, you're here to see a monster girl with supernatural proportions get railed by a college dude who looks like a default character model. The sound design is mostly just a single, looping drone that got stuck in my head for a day. I'm still not sure if that's a pro or a con.

King’s Revolt is what happens when someone throws a One Piece hentai doujin into a blender with a management sim and then forgets to add the polish. You’re this broken salaryman, ex-MMA, now running a mercenary crew and somehow also a maid cafe? Don’t ask me how the economics work. One minute I’m in turn based combat against robots, next I’m setting up a voyeur cam in Nami’s changing room while she’s doing that thing with her clima-tact. The tonal whiplash is real and I’m not complaining.

The phone system. Fucking hell. It’s this clunky in-game app where characters spam you with thirst texts and nudes at the worst times. Boa Hancock sent me a titfuck pic mid-boss fight and I lost because I was, uh, distracted. The AI CG stuff is weirdly inconsistent, some scenes look like a melted action figure and then suddenly there’s a Nico Robin anal creampie animation that’s way too detailed. Like someone spent the entire budget on her ass and left the combat sprites to die. The BDSM trainer mechanics with the maid character are bugged too, she kept resetting to virgin status after every corruption milestone which made the netorare route unintentionally hilarious. Cuckolding myself with my own save file.

Combat’s a slog but then you unlock the sex robot. She’s from the sci-fi pirate faction or whatever and her handjob skill is tied to your management stats which I only figured out after three failed dates. The harem path is broken in a good way, you can basically grope your way through the rebellion and nobody questions why the mercenary leader is rawdogging a cosplaying MILF during a strategy meeting. Multiple endings my ass, I got the same ahegao-filled orgy conclusion twice with different text colors. Still booted it up again though. That one Boa scene with the tentacle parody thing lives rent free in my brain. Dare to play it with one hand, the other’s busy anyway.

Your life’s already in the gutter when this thing starts, and the game doesn’t pretend otherwise. You’re broke, tired, hungry, kind of pissed at everything, doing shitty jobs just to keep the meter from hitting zero. Then you stumble over this girl, Rei, literally sleeping on the street, and it snowballs from there. Not in a cute “romcom meet-cute” way, more like “oh fuck, now I have responsibility and a huge pair of tits in my apartment and I’m not sure which is scarier”. The whole thing plays like a messy slice-of-life porn sim where you’re juggling cash, energy, dirtiness, food, and this chaotic woman who starts as a sad stray and turns into the center of your daily routine. It’s not some rich prince fantasy. You’re poor, your room is small, your phone is cheap, and somehow that makes it hotter when you’re getting a titfuck on a busted mattress instead of in some fake marble mansion.

What I liked is how it doesn’t dump everything on you at once. At first you’re just trying not to starve, doing basic grind work, crashing in bed, waking up like “shit, rent is still a thing”. Rei slinks around the place in whatever clothes you managed to afford, bending over too much, sitting on the sofa with her ass taking half the screen, and you catch yourself thinking about her in-between shifts. The voyeur side hits early: peeking on her while she’s showering in your crappy bathroom, watching her sleep with her shirt riding up, that sort of low-budget perv stuff that somehow feels way more intimate than a thousand glossy sex scenes. Then you slowly push it. A handjob while she’s pretending she’s “just helping you relax after work”. Awkward first oral where she clearly doesn’t know what she’s doing yet but really wants your praise. Later, proper vaginal sex scenes where you can tell the dev likes big tits and big asses a bit too much. There’s harem teasing too, like “oh, here’s another girl who might join your mess if you play your cards right”, but Rei is the core. You’ll be planning your schedule like: work early, hang out with her in the afternoon, maybe talk romance, maybe accidentally click the horny option and suddenly her mouth is full. It’s a sandbox, but it’s not empty. Stuff happens because you keep poking at her boundaries and your own.

What makes it kinda funny is how the humor hits right in the middle of all that. She makes dumb jokes about how broke you are while she’s sitting there naked, like “we can’t afford real food but your dick gets VIP treatment, huh?” and you’re laughing even while spamming the job button like a zombie. The management part is sneaky: you start optimizing your day, timing your sleep and work just so you can trigger that one evening event where she gets all shy and cuddly, then five minutes later she’s riding you like a hentai meme. Sometimes the pacing is janky, like you grind for a while, nothing special happens, then suddenly you unlock a full-on anal-leaning blowjob angle just because you picked a different line in a random chat. And the game isn’t gentle about being horny. You’ll get scenes where her tits are wrapped around you and she’s drooling on your shaft, eyes half-lidded, mumbling how she likes tasting your cum more than cheap instant snacks. There’s romance under all that filth, but it’s a trashy romance, poor, clingy, full of jealousy hints and “what if we actually date?” stuff buried under jokes. It’s not polished, some UI things are annoying, there’s that one button that always sits one pixel off and it drives me insane, but then she moans your name during sex and you forget what you were grumbling about. It feels like someone took a dating sim, a poverty simulator, a harem fantasy and a voyeur diary, shook it in a dirty bag, and just said “yeah, this is your life now, enjoy watching her suck you off while the fridge is empty.”

Kimmy's route has 4 different endings and I've mapped exactly 3 of them. The fourth one is driving me absolutely batshit. Something about a specific VR quest chain in Dawn of Arcanum that needs to be completed before you even trigger her third reality date. Who designs this stuff. The stat tracking on my spreadsheet is a mess because the game doesn't log affection points anywhere visible, you just have to guess based on dialogue shifts. Kimmy's smile changes by like 3 pixels when you hit the threshold. I spent forty minutes comparing screenshots.

The combat is turn based and honestly kind of a slog but then you get a handjob scene in the back of the magic shop and suddenly I don't care about the grinding anymore. That's the pattern with this whole thing. The reality side is boring fetch quests, go to college, talk to the landlady who is obviously flagged as a milf with those proportions, whatever. But then you put on the headset and you're in this fantasy world where the same people have different roles and way less clothing. The landlady in DoA is some kind of sorceress with tits that defy the game's own physics engine. I checked. The collision meshes don't line up properly during the blowjob animation in the tower.

The harem management is there but it's weirdly passive. You don't really juggle anything, they just sort of accumulate. I wish there was actual jealousy mechanics or scheduling conflicts but there won't be. The sandbox elements let you sequence break some of the vaginal scenes if you know which shops to hit early. Found that by accident trying to minmax my gear before the second dungeon. The big ass on the blacksmith's wife. That's not relevant to the route mapping I just needed to mention it.

Community found a way to unlock the gallery early by editing a config file. Not a mod exactly, just changing a 0 to a1. The scenes are all 3dcg and the male protagonist has the personality of wet cardboard but the women carry it. Especially the older ones. The milf tag is doing heavy lifting here. Still can't get that fourth Kimmy ending though. Might need to fail a specific quest on purpose. The game punishes completionism which I respect and also hate.

You start as this washed up ex child-actor in LA who thinks starting a podcast will save his life, which already tells you everything about his brain. It is very much “I’m a failure but maybe I can still fuck my way into relevance.” The whole thing happens around this chaotic podcast studio where the girls are supposed to talk, but half the time nobody is actually talking about the podcast. They’re busy arguing, flashing skin, teasing you, grinding, or getting blackmailed into doing something way more interesting than chatting about followers. One minute it’s a dumb joke about clout, next minute a girl with ridiculous tits is straddling some guy on a couch because you pushed things too far, or not far enough, depending how much of a bastard you decide to be. The sex doesn’t feel “romantic VN slow burn”, it’s more like LA party bathroom energy: messy, fast, people lying to each other while making out.

What I liked is how the game treats you like you’re not actually the only shark in the room. You’re the main guy, sure, but there is this rival guest that shows up and immediately tries to steal your spotlight and your girls, and the netorare flavor hits quick if you screw around or pick the wrong timing. You’re trying to juggle clout, views, horny actresses with big asses, sponsors, and meanwhile this dude might be fingering your co-host under the table while pretending to talk about “brand synergy”. You can push back, humiliate him, or just watch like a freak. There is swinging stuff too, where scenes get really blurry about who belongs to who. One route feels like you’re sharing as a power move, another feels like the girls simply like him more than you, and it stings in a hot way. The femdom parts are nice because sometimes the girls just flip it: they pin you to the couch, ride your dick while insulting your subscriber count, or make you beg them not to cancel you on social media. A couple of scenes go hard on sexual harassment themes, like producers cornering girls or you using information to pressure them. It is uncomfortable and also horny, and the game is not pretending it is “healthy”. There’s blackmail, cheating, stripping in the studio when the cameras are “off”, vaginal sex on disgusting casting furniture, and a lot of teasing where a girl presses her tits to your face, but only actually fucks your rival if you try to play noble. The humor keeps it from feeling too heavy: people shit-talk LA, clout culture, cringe podcast bros, yet you are exactly that cringe podcast bro, chasing sex, fame and money, and it actually works just enough to keep you going.

The 3DCG in this thing is rough, like someone learned Blender last Tuesday and immediately decided to make a porn game. Jack, the protagonist, has this dead eyed stare that makes him look less "attractive aura" and more "needs medical attention." Yet I kept clicking. The animations are stiff but there's something almost hypnotic about watching these polygon women throw themselves at this cardboard cutout of a man.

The plot is basically a harem fantasy where every woman within a five mile radius wants Jack's dick. School setting, so you've got the teacher with massive tits, classmates who can't keep their hands to themselves, and somehow a milf neighbor gets involved because why not. The voyeurism scenes are where the game almost works, peeping through doors while two characters go at it with that jerky stop motion quality that makes everything feel like a weird sex doll fever dream. There's a lesbian scene that comes out of nowhere, no buildup, just two female characters deciding they need to put on a show while Jack watches. The handjob mechanics are... a thing that exists. You click. Things happen. The groping segments feel like a minigame designed by someone who's only read about human contact in textbooks.

The titfuck scene with the busty teacher has this bizarre physics glitch where her breasts clip through Jack's torso and for a solid ten seconds I was staring at a horror show of intersecting polygons. Still fapped though.

The sex toy integration makes no sense. One scene Jack produces a vibrator from the void and everyone acts like this is normal. The group sex encounter at the end tries to be ambitious but the engine clearly can't handle more than three models at once so characters keep teleporting into position. It's like watching a slideshow of porn.

The romance path with the childhood friend character has dialogue that reads like it was run through Google Translate twice, then back to English, then someone said "good enough." She says things like "Jack your hands make my body feel the feelings of woman" and I honestly don't know if that's bad translation or poetry.

For maximum enjoyment, turn your brain off completely. Don't question why every woman's ass is roughly the size of a weather balloon. Don't wonder about the school's dress code. Just click through the dialogue, skip the "plot," and find the scenes with the least amount of clipping. The oral sex animations are actually the smoothest part, which tells you where the developer's priorities were.

The pixel art in Bolsdip is deliberately crusty, like someone smeared vaseline on a Gameboy screen, and honestly that's half the charm. You're this detective, right, back in your hometown, and the first time you corner Ava the college professor in her office, the whole thing feels wrong in the best way. She's got these glasses and this tight pencil skirt, and the animation when she finally drops to her knees is so janky it loops like a broken GIF. Her mouth opens in these three frames, over and over, and the sound design is just... wet clicks. It's not smooth. It's hypnotic. Like watching a flipbook of a very specific, very sloppy blowjob where the artist spent all their time on the saliva strings and none on making her jaw move naturally.

The game calls itself a mystery but I spent twenty minutes clicking on a potted plant because the point and click logic is insane. You find a wild baocat after finishing an event. A baocat. It's this pixelated gremlin that gives you a "special gift" which turned out to be a gallery unlock of the professor in a cosplay outfit that made her tits look like they were trying to escape her blouse via dimensional rift. The growth tags are no joke. One scene she's normal, next scene her ass is threatening to knock over her own desk lamp. The corruption path with the MILF neighbor is even more unhinged, she starts off baking you cookies and three conversations later she's introducing you to a drawer full of sex toys that vibrate with the intensity of a dying phone on silent mode.

Wish the supernatural elements were more than just window dressing. You get hints of something mystical with the succubus tag but it never really commits, just teases you with a flash of purple smoke and then it's back to another handjob scene that drags on for twelve clicks. The footjob animation with the journalist character is genuinely creative though, her toes curl in a way that suggests the artist has a very specific, very dedicated Patreon somewhere. The game runs in browser and crashed my Chrome twice during the twins scene, which involves a lot of synchronized titfuck loops that my laptop fan did not appreciate. The slow burn is more like a microwave on defrost, uneven and leaving cold spots, but when it hits, it's the kind of pixelated filth that makes you close your curtains even though you live alone.

Teenage idiot gets pantsed in front of half the school, ends up in the therapist’s office, and somehow that turns into a whole corruption circus with every woman in his orbit. That’s the game in spirit. You start as this embarrassed student, still salty about getting humiliated by a teacher, and instead of touching grass or accepting trauma like a normal protagonist, he decides revenge is obviously the best self-care. From there it spirals into point & click chaos through classrooms, corridors, bedrooms, and the kind of “family home” setup that would get your search history flagged if someone looked too close. You bounce between therapy sessions, awkward school encounters, and way too intimate at-home moments that definitely cross some lines, and that’s before the blackmail stuff even kicks in properly. The whole thing is structured like a sandbox, so you poke around, click on things you shouldn’t, open doors you’re not supposed to open, peek through stuff you pretend you don’t peek through in real life. Classic.

What I actually liked, against my better judgment, is how the game just leans into being horny and messy instead of pretending there’s some deep moral lesson. One minute you are pretending to be all nice and “romantic route” with a character, acting like it’s a dating sim where feelings matter, then five minutes later you’re using what you learned in a therapy talk to emotionally twist somebody into doing shit they absolutely shouldn’t agree to. The switch from sweet to fucked up happens so fast it almost feels like a meme: “this is my wholesome route” and then you wake a character up with your dick in her mouth. The voyeur stuff is everywhere. Windows, doors not fully closed, walking in on people “accidentally,” and yeah you can just stand there and watch like a creep instead of interrupting. There was this one moment in a school hallway where I just clicked on the wrong spot, camera shifted, and suddenly I’m staring at a teacher bent over, notebook on the desk, skirt barely covering anything, and the game is just like, “well, since you’re here…” That’s how it gets you. Oh I’ll just look, I won’t touch. Sure. Then you notice you can interact with the environment and suddenly a harmless scene turns into a sloppy blowjob with a threat hanging over her head if she says no next time.

The therapist is probably the funniest and most disturbing part. Her office looks “professional” in the same way that some Instagram “life coach” looks professional with fairy lights behind them. You talk about your issues, she asks leading questions, and if you push dialog in the right wrong way, things slide into handjobs and oral like it’s just another coping mechanism. The game loves making you feel like you are slowly corrupting everyone around you, or maybe they were already horny disasters and you’re just the excuse. There are choices where you can be gentle and romantic, and of course right after that it gives you an option to blackmail someone into stripping in a classroom or letting you play with her with toys you absolutely did not bring for “psychological research.” The animated scenes are dirty in a very direct way: big tits right in your face, big asses leaned against desks, titfucks that go on long enough you start noticing how the animator looped three frames and called it a day, feet suddenly involved with zero warning like “by the way she’s into that too.” There is sleep stuff that is straight up over the line, incest that is played like it’s normal in this genre (because it kind of is at this point), twins that are there for exactly the reason you think, anal that gets offered like an achievement reward, and toys appearing out of nowhere in “innocent” rooms. The corruption arc is less “slow moral decay” and more “how far can I push this before the game tells me no,” and it almost never tells you no. Honestly it feels like Pornhub got bored of short clips and tried roleplaying a point & click sandbox. Take that as compliment or insult, whatever fits.