The whole thing feels like someone made a porn game then forgot to add the polish, which honestly works for it. You're this detective, right, and your sister vanished five years ago. Standard setup. But then your brother dies and suddenly you're back on the case, and I gotta say the investigation bits are surprisingly decent. Not Phoenix Wright levels or anything, but you actually have to pay attention to clues and conversations. The game doesn't hold your hand.

What it does hold is a lot of other things. The women in this are absurdly stacked, like physics defying proportions that would make a chiropractor weep. There's this one scene with a suspect where you're interrogating her and somehow it turns into a titfuck. I don't even remember how we got there, something about her being nervous and needing to relax. The logic is questionable but the animation is smooth enough that I stopped caring. The harem builds up naturally too, or as naturally as a detective story can when every woman you meet wants to jump your bones. Virgin detective trope is in full effect here, and the first time with the coroner was genuinely hot. She's got this cold professional thing going on until she doesn't.

The roleplay elements are where it gets weirdly specific. You can dominate conversations, push for certain outcomes, and the game tracks your choices in ways that actually matter for the endings. I got one where everything went to shit because I was too aggressive with a witness. The criminal underworld stuff is darker than I expected, and some of the H-scenes have this uncomfortable edge to them. Like you're supposed to be finding your missing sister but you're also rawdogging a gangster's girlfriend while she tells you about evidence. The male domination angle is strong throughout, almost every scene puts you in control whether it makes narrative sense or not. Group sex pops up later and it's as chaotic as you'd imagine. The 3DCG models have that slightly dead eyed look but the bodies are rendered with loving attention to every curve and bounce. I spent way too long on the dating sim aspects honestly, trying to figure out which dialogue options unlocked the anal scenes. Priorities, right?

The suburban mystery setup in CRIME LAWN REPEAT had me thinking I'd be playing some kind of detective sim. You know, gathering clues, interrogating neighbors about who didn't recycle properly. Instead I'm three days in and my character's already getting a handjob from the woman next door while her husband's at work. Not complaining, just saying the investigation takes a backseat real quick.

That neighbor, by the way. Big tits, bigger secrets. The game doesn't waste time pretending this is some slow burn romance. You're the new guy on the block with a younger brother in tow, and everyone's suspicious of everyone, but also everyone's apparently horny. The sandbox structure means you can poke around different houses, find things you shouldn't, and then somehow end up with your dick in someone's mouth. The oral animations are actually decent for something that feels deliberately rough around the edges. Like they spent the budget on the sex scenes and said fuck it to everything else. I respect that.

The mystery angle is there if you want it. Something about crimes, something about your own shady past. But let's be real, you're here because the MILF across the street has an ass that won't quit and she's real curious about what you're hiding. The teasing builds nicely, lots of "accidental" encounters that lead to anal, vaginal, the whole menu. Male protagonist with a criminal streak, or maybe just a horny streak, hard to tell the difference sometimes. The animated scenes pop up frequently enough that you never go too long without something explicit happening. Wish the brother character had more to do besides just existing as a plot device, but whatever. The neighbor's wife just invited me over again and I think this time she's got more than just neighborhood gossip to share.

You ever just want to be a scumbag informant drowning in debt to the state, but also surrounded by superhero tits the size of weather balloons? No? Well RICO: Sin City exists anyway, and honestly, bless its janky little heart for that. The whole thing feels like someone threw GTA and a bootleg DVD of The Boys into a blender, then forgot to screw the lid on. It's a 3DCG crossover where these corrupt capes and villains just strut around a city that makes Gotham look like a wellness retreat, all while you, some dude with a really bad legal situation, try to rub one out without getting lasered in half.

The animations are so stiff they might as well be action figures being smashed together, but that's the camp of it. There's this one scene where a heroine with knockers that deflate the concept of physics just starts going at it while still wearing half a latex mask. Iconic behavior. The writing tries hard to be edgy and funny, often succeeding at the first and faceplanting into the second, which circles back around to being hilarious. Buried in the middle of all this is a genuinely annoying mini game mechanic about collecting evidence that feels like someone owed a favor and it was coded out of spite, but you'll forget about it when a parody of a famous speedster villain shows up talking pure nonsense. The humor lands precisely because it doesn't realize how stupid it is, a perfect parody of parodies.

Downloaded this purely because a random Reddit thread said the criminal protagonist's deadpan expressions during lewd acts were "meme worthy," and they weren't wrong. The whole city map is way smaller than you expect. Don't think about the plot too hard, it's basically an excuse to go from point A to point B where point B is always masturbation with superpowered weirdos. What happens in RICO definitely should stay there, preferably in a locked folder.

That moment when the strip poker minigame kicks in and you realize the animation work is actually better than some paid VNs I've played on itch.io. Not saying much, I know, but the way the clothes come off has this deliberate weight to it, you know? Like someone actually thought about fabric physics instead of just making tits magically teleport out of a bra. The rest of the game looks like it was rendered on a potato from 2014 though. Weird contrast.

The protagonist is this edgy fucker with a dark past who rolls into Solace City and immediately starts poking around missing girls cases because he's got nothing better to do apparently. The writing tries so hard to be noir but ends up somewhere between a philosophy major's livejournal and a hardboiled detective parody that doesn't know it's a parody. I actually snorted when a character dropped "God is dead; morality is a lie" completely unironically in a scene about campus corruption. But here's where it gets strange, I kept clicking. The mystery hooks are genuinely decent once you accept the cringe. Something about a university with secrets and this whole web of lies that actually made me want to see the next thread unravel. The romance options are whatever, standard visual novel fare, but there's this one scene with a character I won't spoil where the stripping game transitions into something more animated and suddenly I forgot all about the janky 3D models.

The minigames are hit or miss. Strip poker is the highlight obviously, but there's other stuff that just feels like padding. I got stuck on some bullshit puzzle for ten minutes wondering why I wasn't just clicking through dialogue like a normal degenerate. The violence tag is earned though, some choices lead to genuinely nasty outcomes and the game doesn't shy away from showing consequences. Male protag makes some fucked up decisions if you go full merciless route. Which I did, obviously, because being a virtuous savior is for cowards. What was I talking about? Right, the animation. For a game that looks this rough around the edges, the lewd scenes have no business being that smooth. Life's mysteries.

The whole “intriguing” tag is a fucking joke when the first scene is you, generic office drone #455, getting a blowjob from your boss who has tits so big the 3DCG model looks like it’s in pain. IRYS wants to be this deep sci fi noir about memory, corruption, and a city built on racism, but it’s too busy shoving animated vaginal sex in your face every five minutes. I don’t mind that, I’m not a prude. But don’t sell me Blade Runner and then give me Secret Office Fuck Simulator 2024.

The male protagonist is so hollow, which I guess is the POINT given the story about manufactured guilt and fake promotions but that don’t make him less of a cardboard cutout with a dick. I spent twenty minutes clicking through a dream sequence where a woman who may or may not be my character’s brainwashed ex tells me about a “political compromise” while her dress just evaporates. The animation is janky, like they spent the budget on fluid physics for the big tits and then forgot elbows exist. One sex scene had her hip rotating like a clock hand, completely detached from the spine. It’s hot in the way a car crash is hot. Honestly, a DLC where the office politics just goes full orgy, no pretense, would be an improvement.

You know what game does corruption better? That Succubus Contract on itch.io, the one with the pixel art. At least that one knows it’s trash. IRYS tries to be clever with its secret experiments and “who am I really?” bullshit, and then a coworker bends over a desk. The romance paths are a joke, you pick a dialogue option that’s basically “be nice” or “be a dick” and then vaginal sex happens because the plot said so. The sci fi stuff is background noise for creampie closeups. I got a promotion in the game and felt nothing, which is maybe the meta-commentary they were going for but I doubt it because the next scene was a corrupted save file. Or maybe that was the game’s big mindfuck ending?