James is that smug guy everyone in school pretends not to look at and then goes home and thinks about in the shower. Famous last name, rich family, dumped onto this weird little island like it is nothing. At first it feels kind of normal: classes, uniforms, teachers who talk too much. Then you start noticing the cracks. The girl sitting next to you has eyes that glow a bit too hard when she is horny. The twins down the hall share everything in a way that is way past cute. The coach who stares at James a bit too long in the locker room and you suddenly get why the dev put a quick-save button right there. The island is small, but it feels like every corner wants to fuck him or eat him or maybe both in one go.

The nice part is you are not just reading his life, you poke it. You walk James around, bump into people, pick what he says. Sometimes he is a cocky bastard, sometimes he lets himself be pushed to his knees in a dark classroom and you just sit there at work watching a smooth looping animation of him taking a thick cock in his mouth, trying to pretend you are actually checking Slack. There is a lot of oral, and it does not look shy. Lips shining, tongues moving, the camera going in way closer than any school security cam. Anal shows up too, not as some “special ending” bullshit, just like, yeah, this guy likes it both ways, deal with it. You get these scenes where he is getting pounded from behind on a dorm bed, his face pressed into the pillow, and the only thing I was mad about was that the sound of the creaking mattress stopped one frame too early in the loop. It annoys me every time and I still replay it, so whatever. One minute you are flirting with a cute classmate, the next you are pushed against a wall by something with claws and a cock that clearly did not pass any school dress code, and somehow it still feels like part of the same horny soap opera.

The whole magic and monster stuff comes in slow, like the dev waited until you were already invested in James getting his dick wet in “normal” ways. Then the island starts acting strange. You walk into the forest after class and bump into something that looks like it crawled out of a nightmare and straight into Pornhub. It teases him, circles him, and suddenly you are picking if James runs, fights, or just drops to his knees and opens his mouth. There is one scene where a creature pins him against a tree, tentacle-like vines wrapping his wrists, tongue forcing its way in as his pants slide down, and your mouse is on “save” before your brain even catches up. At school, teachers talk about “energy flows” and “rituals” and you know damn well this is just code for more ways to get James naked. The twins are the worst in the best way: they show up together, lean in too close, talk in that half-innocent, half-fuck-me tone, and you know they are hiding something magical and filthy. The game just lets you wander, miss things, stumble into sex by accident instead of throwing big glowing signs at you. Sometimes it feels clunky, like a scene cuts off right when you are about to cum, or a choice looks important but is just flavor text, but then James is on his knees in the boy’s bathroom with another student’s cock in his throat and you forget to be mad. It is messy, horny, a bit awkward, and somehow that fits him perfectly.

RuleUniverse feels like somebody mashed together Dragon Ball fanfic, horny Patreon art, and a half-finished RPGMaker project, then forgot to polish anything but Bulma’s tits. You start as this abandoned, overachiever student, classic “good boy with trauma”, and very fast it stops being about homework and becomes about a demon scientist girl shoving warrior DNA into your body. It sounds dramatic, “guide of the universe” and all that, but most of the time I was just wandering around the sandbox trying to remember where Android 18’s event flag was hiding while my tea got cold. The game calls itself adventure, but the real adventure is figuring out which NPC you had to click three times to unlock the next blowjob scene. And somehow that is kind of charming. In the same way old Tumblr smut was charming before everyone tried to be professional.

What really stands out to me, from a gender studies brain, is how unapologetically it leans into this fantasy of female power that exists only to be sexually harvested. Bulma is super smart, rich, has all the tech, she talks like a woman who already saved the world twice and is bored. Yet the camera is glued to her huge tits and that absurdly tight outfit in every animated scene. She’ll explain some advanced gadget, then the dialog suddenly swerves into “oh, I guess I can help you relieve your new ‘universal stress’” and two lines later she’s on her knees sucking you off like she’s been waiting her whole canon life to do exactly this. Android 18 is even more funny. In Dragon Ball she’s this cool, deadpan cyborg with moral complexity. Here she’s still cool, but the game quietly turns her “I could kill you” energy into “I could ride you until you pass out” and somehow that transformation is the most believable part. There is one oral scene with her, in a training area, where the animation focuses so much on the spit string between her lips and your cock that I completely missed a QTE prompt, and I’m still annoyed there’s no way to replay it instantly from a gallery. Pure UX crime. Also there is supposed to be romance, but the writing treats romance like a side quest you forgot in your quest log. You can pick some sweet dialog options, Bulma calls you cute, Android 18 pretends she doesn’t care, and five minutes later one of them is bouncing her big ass on your dick while the text still pretends you are talking about cosmic order. The tone whiplash is hilarious and also weirdly hot. This is not a game that understands consent discourse, but it does understand thigh physics.

The sandbox structure could be nice, in theory, because exploration fits the whole “universe DNA” theme, except the map design feels like a horny maze without a legend. One minute you are in a lab flirting with a demon scientist who looks like Chi-Chi’s goth cousin, next minute you clicked the wrong shiny thing and you are in some magical pocket zone punching training dummies to unlock a new combat skill you will probably forget to use. The combat exists, it’s not deep, and honestly I kept wishing there was a “just let me fuck” button on the UI so I didn’t have to win another tutorial fight to see Bulma ride me again. At least the animated sex scenes actually move like sex, not like stiff puppets; there is proper thrusting, body contact, tits bouncing, some nice focus on penetration when you go vaginal with the MILF-type character. Even then, the game clearly loves big boobs more than it loves anything else. Every conversation, every angle, it is like the dev had three moods: boobs from front, boobs from side, boobs slightly wet. As a scholar I could talk about how it reduces every woman to curves and mouths, how it replays shonen gender roles in extra-horny mode, how your male protagonist gets “universe DNA” instead of actual personality. As a horny player I just notice that the cumshot on Bulma’s face in one specific scene is animated way better than the whole romance arc, and somehow that says everything about RuleUniverse more clearly than any theory book I read on my Kindle.

White-furred fox hero, horny magic everywhere, and absolutely zero chill about it. This thing throws you straight into a messy medieval world where everyone has claws, fangs, or horns and somehow still manages to be thick as hell. You’re this snow-white fox morph who looks like he should be a pure little priest’s apprentice, but he keeps making bad choices, hiding shit, and then suddenly he’s neck deep in demons, dicks, and destiny. It’s not one of those “choose your path” novels, it just drags you along, and honestly that fits. The story feels like you’re watching a horny DnD campaign where the DM keeps saying “last scene for tonight” and then adds one more sex scene with a bigger cock and more glowing magic runes on someone’s chest. Half the scenes feel like the writer opened Telegram, scrolled through bara furry art, went “yeah that guy” and wrote him in.

The lewd stuff is where it actually wakes up. When the fox gets pinned to a stone wall by that demon with the jagged horns, the way it describes his tail twitching and flicking while he’s trying to pretend he’s still in control? That hit way harder than I expected. You see the build up from “oh shit, danger” to “oh shit, I’m hard” in just a couple of lines, and it feels dirty in a good way, like browsing e621 at work with your phone brightness too high. There’s this scene at the campfire with the big lion knight that starts as a dumb gay joke, just bros roasting meat, then suddenly his hand is on your thigh and he’s asking about those “secrets” you keep, and the fox is blushing but also grinding his hips like he’s been waiting for it all week. The dialogue there is actually kinda funny, like they know exactly the kind of audience that also keeps Twitter full of horny bookmarks and pretends it is “for references.”

It’s not polished, not even trying. Some transitions are like: one second tragic backstory, next line you’re choking on a demon’s cock with glowing spit. The tone whiplash is insane and somehow it works, or at least your dick doesn't complain. There are lines that read like they were written at full speed in Google Docs with Grammarly screaming in the background, then never fixed. One of the sex scenes repeats the word “throbbing” so often I started laughing, but I kept going anyway. The worldbuilding pops in and out, too: sometimes you get this cool bit about old magic, contracts, hero titles, and then the scene just abandons all that to describe knotting for three paragraphs straight. The hero thing almost feels like an excuse so the fox can get plowed by different factions: demon, knight, monster in the forest, probably a cultist later, who even knows. But that snow-white fur image sticks in your head, especially when it keeps getting stained with fluids and magic residues and the text really doesn’t shy away from how dirty that contrast looks. It’s gay as hell, furry as hell, kind of stupid, kind of charming, and the worst part is I kept Alt+Tabbing from Discord back to it like “ok one more scene, just one more blowjob with sparkly runes” and then suddenly the fox is moaning about how being a hero might be worth it if it always feels this good.

Tainted Philter feels like that weird erotic light novel you found on some shady forum, except now you get to poke at all the choices yourself. You start as this painfully shy dude, the kind who apologizes to the doorframe when he bumps into it, dumped alone in a new city because life basically kicked him in the balls and walked away. No family, no friends, zero cash, just a suspiciously free room and a new school where everyone already seems to know where they belong. The game doesn’t rush to throw tits in your face in the first two clicks, and I actually liked that a lot. You wander through classes, see little bits of the campus, eavesdrop on people who are way more confident than you, and it really sells the vibe of being the awkward ghost in the back of the room. Then this otherworldly woman appears, not in the "lol sexy fairy godmother" cheap way, but more like a researcher who got bored of theory and decided to use your dick as a field experiment. She basically tells you: magic is real, corruption is data, and you are going to be her walking lab rat with a backpack full of potions. And you say yes. Of course you say yes.

The corruption part is where it got interesting for me. It is not just “press button, girl suddenly becomes brainless cock sleeve”. You get a variety of potions and little magical tweaks, and the fun is in how you combine them with the school setting. For example, slipping a subtle confidence philter on yourself before talking to a teacher changes the whole vibe of the scene, and later you can use something more twisted on her when she starts to trust you. It’s dirty, but there’s this slow burn that makes each step darker. The girls don’t just flip from normal to slut; they slide into it, one bad choice at a time, and you are the asshole guiding it. There’s a scene where you realize one of them is starting to crave your attention way more than is healthy, and instead of helping her you just think which potion will push her over that line. That moment hit harder than the actually explicit stuff for me. Also I love how the main guy starts as this harmless loser, then slowly leans into the power trip. You feel his inner voice changing, his “I shouldn’t do this” slowly becoming “I deserve this”, and it’s kind of fucked up but also hot. And then, on top of that, the game lets you find out that the mysterious woman screwed up and gave you a few extra tricks she doesn’t know about, so now you’re hiding things from a magical woman who could probably snap you out of existence if she finds out. That bit of secret power behind her back, and planning which girl to twist next while pretending you’re still the obedient test subject, made the whole thing feel more like a long erotic conspiracy than just a sex game. The world feels like it’s there even when you’re not clicking through sex scenes, which is rare. The sex is dirty as hell, yeah, but what kept me hooked was how every potion you use leaves a little stain on someone’s soul, including your own.

Ben should be dead, honestly. Plane falls out of the sky, fire everywhere, metal screaming, you expect a game over screen. Instead he crawls out the other side with this weird mix of island magic in his veins and a brain full of holes. Or not really holes. More like someone wrapped his memories in plastic and hid them at the back of the fridge. He comes back home, everyone thinks he’s this broken boy with amnesia, and he just lets them. He smiles, nods, says “I don’t remember” while knowing damn well how to blow up a monster’s spine with elemental shit if he wants. And now he’s back under one roof with an adoptive mom who looks way too good in a tank top, and a stepsis who walks around the house like clothes are a suggestion. It feels wrong. Then it feels less wrong. Then you are suddenly very aware how many cameras you can put in a house without anyone noticing. The game kind of leans into that uncomfortable space where you tell yourself “I’m just checking on them” while you’re obviously not just checking. You peek, you watch, you keep watching. The tension is like those long Tinder chats that never become a date, except here things actually go somewhere. Slowly. Awkward. Hot. Messy.

The magic stuff sneaks in on the edges at first. A small spell to fix a bruise. A charm to nudge a mood. Then the line slides. You tell yourself you’re “helping” Rachel relax after a rough day and next thing you’re tweaking her thoughts so she forgets to pull her hand away from your thigh. With Jessica it’s worse. She’s moody, horny, bored, always on her phone, like someone who has three different dating apps and still complains nobody texts. You watch her from the hallway as she plays with herself, then later you act like you don’t know. Or you push just a little inside her head so her eyes linger too long on your chest, your hands, that scar. The game loves this grind between guilt and arousal. You feel like a piece of shit then you click “continue”. The blackmail routes hit hard too. Someone almost catches you during one of your little voyeur trips and suddenly you are using every dirty secret you found to shut them up. Or own them. Sometimes both. The supernatural stuff makes it easier, which is kind of the scary part. When you can tilt a person’s mind a few degrees with a spell, “no” stops feeling like a hard wall and more like a locked door you’re sure you can pick. There are monsters on the island, yeah, but the really messed up thing is realizing the creepiest monster might be the guy you’re controlling. And still you lean into it, because the writing pokes that lonely place in your chest where you wish someone would just look at you the way Rachel does when the spell is humming behind her eyes, or the way Jessica bites her lip when she trusts you a little too much. It’s not nice. It’s not healthy. It is very, very hard to stop clicking.

Then the whole world outside the house keeps trying to crawl in. This other woman shows up, Zara, with that “I know more than I say” smile, and she is trouble in a tight dress. She wants what’s hidden in your head. The island. The power. She flirts like a pro, touches your arm, leans in too close, talks about rifts and ancient things while her hand is sliding down your chest. If you let her, she uses you, but you also kind of use her back, like two snakes wrapping around each other. The game tosses you into fights that feel like someone mixed horny fanfic with a light RPG: one moment you are burning some freaky shadow beast, next you are getting pinned to a wall by a milf with an agenda. There are group scenes that start almost accidental. You nudge a few emotions in the wrong place, drink flows, inhibitions drop, and suddenly you realize you crossed the line from watching to orchestrating. Watching your “family” share you, touch each other because you planted that idea, is the kind of thing that sticks in your brain after you close the tab. It’s hot. It’s fucked. It made me think about how I ghosted that girl from Bumble because I was scared of real feelings, then spent hours in this house making fake ones with magic and blackmail. This story doesn’t pretend to fix anyone’s mental health. Ben is messed up from the crash and the island, everyone around him has their own cracks, and the game just lets those cracks widen while you poke them. Sometimes the romance almost feels real, like when Rachel opens up about losing you the first time and you see this raw hurt in her, and for a second you feel bad using a spell to turn that pain into desire. Then the scene keeps going, clothes come off, she says your name in this soft way, and that guilt gets drowned under everything else. It’s not a pretty fantasy of perfect love, it’s a mess of hunger, lies, control, and a weird kind of comfort that comes from being needed, even if you had to bend a few minds to get there. And yeah, I closed the browser once, told myself I was done with this shit, then came back the next day to see how far I could push them all before something finally breaks.

You land in this weird mix of Hogwarts, porn hub search history and some shady medical drama. Whole place is this high-class magic academy where everyone pretends they care about lessons, but you’re basically the only one doing real “practical work”. There’s a virus going around, and somehow the cure looks a lot like you touching hot witches in all the wrong places. Totally scientific, of course.

You play as the new doctor, or healer, or whatever title helps them sleep at night. Old one died, which the game just drops on you like “yeah anyway, here’s a stacked redhead with half her robe open”. Your day is walking around the school, taking “patients” to your office, massaging them, checking their body for “symptoms”, lifting skirts to see if some strange mark spread to their thighs, then pretending you’re very serious about it. It starts tame, like rubbing shoulders and back, and suddenly you’re pulling the robe down, oil on tits, the girl moaning that it tingles because of magic. Sure. Magic.

They really go ham on the academy vibe. Long hallways, class rooms, training yards, secret passages. You stalk around as the only sane person while horny witches bend over bookshelves or stretch in poses no teacher would allow in a normal school. There’s this one scene where a girl says she’s scared of the virus and wants a “full body check”, and she just walks to the window, opens her robe, lets the moon hit her skin and tells you to touch everywhere. You can just stand there and stare like a creep for a bit, camera sliding around her body, and nothing forces you to hurry. That voyeur stuff is strong here. I kinda hated how slow the walking is, by the way. You drag your ass across the corridors like your shoes are made of glue and then forget where you were going.

What surprised me is how much they lean into training and management on top of all the erotic stuff. You don’t only fuck around, you’re also planning schedules, checking who already got the suppressor, upgrading your gear and your magic tricks so you can use more “advanced procedures” in the sessions. Stats go up, resistance goes down. The way you choose dialogs and treatments actually changes how fast girls trust you, which then changes what positions they will accept and how bold they get in public. Like, one girl starts as this shy nerd, tight uniform, always holding her books to her chest, and after a few visits and some risky “let me test a new spell while I rub here” moments, she’s the one pressing her tits against the window during lessons and asking you if getting fucked in the infirmary counts as therapy. Or there’s the cosplay thing, where students pretend to be normal nurses or maids inside a magic academy, which lowkey makes zero sense, but looks hot so who cares. Half the fun is unlocking new outfits just to see them break the school rules in them. You cure a deadly virus by massaging big tits, fingering witches in your office and banging them on your examination table while the world outside apparently falls apart. Honestly, mood.

Andrew is just this regular dude with a crappy delivery job, walking into what looks like a normal rich people house, and it turns into a porn trap he absolutely did not sign up for. That part I liked a lot, because it feels realistic in that “of course this would happen to the one guy just trying to work” kind of way. He shows up, gets a bit curious, and suddenly he is the toy of a whole house full of witches who treat him like walking meat and sometimes like less than that. The game doesn’t pretend he is some secret hero. He is just the guy who rang the doorbell at the wrong address and now spends his days licking, begging, and getting magically dragged around by women with too much power and too much free time. No fake bravado. He gets humiliated, he gets used, he gets hard anyway. That’s the whole tone.

The house itself feels like a character. It is cozy and domestic, but everything inside is twisted to make him feel small. Big soft chairs that become places where he is on his knees between some witch’s thighs, carpets where he is lying on his back while she sits on his face and just ignores his hands like they are not even part of the deal. There is one scene where he is trying to sneak around and gets caught by a witch who looks like she walked out from a sexier version of The Witcher, and she just pins him with magic, one hand in the air, and uses his mouth like a toy. She talks to him like he is stupid while he is literally choking on her. She has this huge ass and big tits that keep getting right in the camera, and the game really likes that angle, like “you’re not important, this is what matters.” It hits that humiliation vibe well. There is even a part where they make him lie at their feet like a floor ornament while they chat about mundane witch problems and casually use his mouth on their toes. I am not even a big foot guy, but somehow the way they mix the domestic atmosphere with sex slavery works. The animated stuff looks “just enough”: not fake plastic, not trying to be Hollywood. More like Pornhub-quality fantasy, which honestly fits the tone better than something super polished would.

The magic is not just window dressing either. They do kinky stuff with it. One witch uses a spell to keep him hard while she goes off to read a book, leaving him kneeling there, hands bound by invisible force, cock literally throbbing and dripping in the air, and every time he begs she just snaps her fingers and makes his voice fail. Another scene, they shrink his sense of control to nothing, like he tries to talk tough and she responds by levitating him, flipping him on the couch, and telling him he is lucky she even uses him as a cock warmer. And yeah, there is a lot of oral. He spends half the time with a mouth full of something: pussy, toes, or the witches making him clean up his own mess. The female domination is not gentle. It is not the “haha I am so quirky mistress” you see in some games. They are casually cruel, they laugh at him, make him crawl, make him kiss their ass cheeks while they discuss if he is worth keeping or just turning into some permanent house slave statue. They treat his orgasm like a reward he rarely deserves, which for a realism nerd like me feels right for this kind of fantasy. Also, one tiny thing that annoyed me: the way one of them keeps doing that smug half-smile after every line, it started to bug my eyes, but then there was this scene where she uses his face as a chair and that stupid smile suddenly worked, so I guess I am not really complaining, just pretending. Anyway, the whole thing feels like you walked into the wrong door, got turned into a sex pet, and nobody in that house thinks that is strange. Which, in this genre, is kind of perfect.

This one feels like some horny anime daydream that got stretched into a whole weird, cozy fantasy world. You start as this totally average guy, like the one background NPC nobody usually cares about, except you grew up next to the Saintess, the bright holy poster-girl of the kingdom. Everyone worships her, she can literally nuke demons with light magic, and you remember her when she still drooled in her sleep and clung to you like a needy kitten. That contrast hits kind of nice. The story throws you into her orbit again after this “oops” incident where you basically get promoted from nobody to her bodyguard. Not the cool, shiny armor type, more like “why the hell did they pick me” vibe. And yet it works, because half the tension is you walking around going: yeah, that girl the entire church is praying to? She is watching your hands very closely when you touch her waist. There’s this scene early where she heals you, all glowing and serious, and then her fingers just linger a little too long. The camera slows down, she blushes, and the holy light is still around her while you can clearly see in her eyes she is thinking something very not holy. Audio is simple but the tiny breathy voice clips, the little gasps when she gets flustered, they scratch that ASMR itch more than you’d expect from a Koikatsu-based thing.

The game loves that slow burn, but then it throws the brakes away when the sex finally happens. First time she gives you a handjob, she is trying so hard to stay “holy” while jerking you off, it’s hilarious and hot at same time. She keeps whispering prayers and then losing the words halfway when you throb in her hand. There’s a later scene where she’s on her knees, supposed to be blessing you before a dangerous mission, and instead she just wraps her lips around your cock. The sloppy sounds are pretty on point, not overdone, kind of wet and soft, with that little gag at the back of her throat that made me shiver like someone traced a finger behind my ear. The camera cuts between her teary eyes looking up and your cock sliding over her tongue, and the rhythm of her bobbing almost feels like someone tapping a finger right behind your eardrum. Sex itself uses the fantasy setting in a fun way, like using magic to make your dick extra sensitive during vaginal scenes, or her glowing faintly while riding you, each thrust making those light effects flicker like candles. Not everything hits, some jokes land flat, and I got annoyed at one choice that teased something dirtier and then chickened out, but whatever. The incest hinting has that “we grew up way too close, this is kinda wrong but we both want it” tone, and if you’re into that taboo family energy, some lines go right for the throat. It never feels subtle. She moans your name like a prayer, calls you her only real light in the darkness while her pussy clenches around you, and the game just stays there for a bit, letting the scene breathe, like those long ASMR shots where the mic just sits by someone’s mouth and picks up everything. It’s messy, a little awkward in places, but the good kind of awkward, like when someone whispers exactly what filthy thing they want and stumbles over the words, and you feel it way more because of that.

That first moment when the witch shows up in the forest and you notice she smells like latex and cheap bubblegum, that was when I knew this thing was made exactly for the kind of sick brain that scrolls itch.io tags at 2% battery on the phone. It starts like a normal fantasy quest: dark woods, strange sounds, point and click around, “ooh, mysterious lady with magic,” all that. But then she casually talks about “making you lighter” and “smoothing you out” and it flips from fairy tale to fetish trip so fast my Chrome tab lagged. I was on desktop, Discord open on the second screen, and suddenly I’m clicking on tree roots not to escape a dungeon but to see if they squeak. The game never explains the rules too cleanly, which I kinda love. You figure it out by poking, failing, getting turned into the wrong thing, popping in the wrong scene, reloading. It feels like those old Flash things from Newgrounds, only with way more horny brainrot and way less shame about it.

The whole inflatable transformation stuff is handled in this weird mix of cute and fucked up. One second your character is still mostly “you,” just with puffy fingers and a tail that looks like a knockoff pool toy from AliExpress, and in the next click you’re basically a walking balloon animal with a face, stuck in some clearing while the witch prods you like she’s checking if you’re properly aired up. There’s one path where she “helps” you and you end up a rubbery forest guardian, and another where she’s clearly just messing around to see what happens when she pumps more and more inside you. The sound design is doing a lot of the horny heavy lifting. Tiny squeaks when you brush against things, that low thump when she squeezes your side, the almost embarrassing hiss when she adds more air. I was on earbuds with Spotify paused and actually turned the volume down once because the little squeal when you bump a rock sounded way too much like a sex toy on a tile floor. Not that I’d know. Probably.

It’s technically a mystery quest, but the “mystery” is just an excuse to poke every bush and stump to see what kinky side scene is hiding in there. Sometimes you get a key item, sometimes the game just goes “whoops, you leaned too hard, now your thighs are twice as big and your hips jiggle like a pool float,” and it never tells you if that’s good or bad. I ran into one hidden event where a bunch of forest spirits use your newly inflated body like a big soft cushion, and the camera just lingers while they sink into you and you creak and groan. Another one has you stuck half-blown, rubber fur squeaking, while the witch teases you with that “oh, did I pump too much?” line that obviously means she’s about to go further. The furry angle is strong but not preachy about it. Tails, ears, muzzles, paws, all slowly going glossy and hollow, your body turning into this shiny toy version of whatever creature you started as. It’s fetishy as hell, a bit clumsy in spots, not afraid to be awkward or too much, and that’s exactly why it works. It feels like someone’s very specific kink daydream got turned into a point and click adventure by hand, in Ren’Py or Godot or some cursed stack with a lot of trial and error, then tossed online with a wink and no apology.