The pickup line mechanic in My Best Deal is basically a minigame where you try to charm a literal goddess. I picked something cheesy like "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" and she actually rolled her eyes. The animation for that was this little half smile, half sneer. Felt too real. I've seen that exact look on Tinder dates.

The whole thing starts because you saved some girl from getting hit by a truck or whatever, and now you're dead too. Classic isekai setup. But instead of a fantasy world you're in this cloudy heaven place with a goddess who's way too interested in your love life. She's got this long blue hair that the CG art renders with way too much shine, like someone dumped a whole bottle of conditioner on it. The sex scenes unlock based on your choices, and there's a gallery code LoveMeLongTime that just gives you everything. I used it immediately. No patience for grinding.

The voice acting is only partial, which bugs me. Some lines are voiced, some aren't. It's like the budget ran out halfway through recording. The goddess moans in one scene then goes completely silent in the next. Kills the mood. But when the sound does work, there's this wet noise during the oral scene that's disgustingly detailed. I couldn't stop listening. The mythology stuff is all surface level, don't expect actual Greek or Norse accuracy. She's just a hot goddess who wants to bang.

I wish there was more variation in the body types. Every female character has the same impossibly thin waist and massive chest. It gets boring. The supernatural elements are barely there, just an excuse for the setting. One path has you basically becoming her eternal servant or something, and the sex in that route is more desperate, like she knows she owns you. That was hot. The other path where you question the deal leads to this weird philosophical conversation that drags on forever. I started clicking through it. The CG hentai scenes are high quality though, detailed enough that you can see individual strands of hair stuck to skin. There's this one image where she's looking down at you with this mix of pity and lust that I've literally never seen in another game. Made me uncomfortable in a good way. The whole "would you have been better off letting the girl die" question the description mentions is barely addressed. It's just a framing device. Don't expect deep moral choices. You're here to see a goddess take off her clothes, and the game knows it.

So I'm at my desk pretending to look at spreadsheets and this game pops up. Ares Revenge. Right. Because nothing says "productive workday" like a corrupted Wonder Woman step-sister situation.

The whole setup is actually kind of funny if you think about it. You're Ares, god of war, and apparently you got your ass handed to you back in 1918 by your step-sister who happens to be Wonder Woman. Now it's 2013 and you're not dead. Surprise. The mythology mashup is so wrong it circles back to being entertaining. Like someone threw Greek gods and DC comics into a blender and hit "corruption fetish" instead of "puree."

The CG hentai scenes are what you'd expect. Unpolished but somehow that works for the whole "deliberately rough" vibe. Wonder Woman's corruption arc moves fast. Real fast. One minute she's all righteous fury, the next... well. You know how these games go. The power regain mechanic is there but honestly I kept clicking through dialogue just to see how far the corruption rabbit hole went. Some of the expressions are genuinely good. Others look like someone discovered the smudge tool and went to town.

Wish there was more actual mythology stuff mixed in with the revenge plot. You're literally Ares and the god of war aspect feels like an afterthought sometimes. But then again who's playing this for accurate Greek pantheon representation. The step-sister angle is weirdly specific too. Not complaining, just... why that dynamic specifically? These games always have that one relationship choice that makes you go "huh."

Anyway my boss walked by and I had to alt-tab so fast I think I pulled something. Worth it though. The "Best Misuse of Classical Mythology" award goes to whatever fever dream produced this.

Boss walked past my desk three times already and I'm just sitting here with this browser tab hidden behind spreadsheets, staring at a goblin with a dick the size of his own leg. This game, this ridiculous forest adventure thing, it knows exactly what it is. Treasure Hunter Girl or whatever the title translates to, some blonde elf with tits that defy physics goes into a forbidden forest looking for gold and immediately gets cornered by creatures who have other plans for her holes. The art style is this cartoonish thing that almost looks like a parody of old fantasy RPGs, deliberately messy linework that somehow makes the scenes filthier because it feels like something you weren't supposed to find.

The first tentacle scene caught me off guard, not gonna lie. She's just walking through some bushes and then these green vines just, like, they don't even hesitate. One second she's a treasure hunter, next second she's a treasure holder if you catch my meaning. And the sounds, there's this squelching noise that loops and it's so over the top I had to mute my phone even though nobody was around. The goblin encounter though, that's where I lost it. This little green bastard with a cock that drags on the ground practically, and the animation is so janky it wraps around her thigh in a way that defies anatomy but also somehow works? I don't know. I don't make the rules.

There's supposed to be devils and ghouls too but honestly I got stuck on this one scene with a tentacle monster that has her upside down and I forgot to check the rest of the forest. The dialogue is broken English, stuff like "your pussy will remember forever" which is both threatening and oddly poetic. You click through choices that barely matter, it's mostly just a delivery system for the scenes. Wish there was more treasure hunting honestly, the premise is right there and they just abandon it for monster gangbangs. Not complaining. Actually I am a little, I wanted to see what the treasure looked like. Maybe it's a metaphor. Probably not.

Bhaal is basically getting set up to die and the whole thing feels like a cosmic joke where the punchline is divine obliteration. The art has this rough, almost sketchy quality that I normally hate but here it works because everything about Gehenna should look a little wrong. Ullene's design is the standout, those little horns and the way her expressions shift from concerned sister to something way more complicated when the NTR flag gets triggered. I spent way too long just clicking through her dialogue trees before I even figured out the park scene trigger.

The park scene on Tuesday. That's the one that got me. You just go there, it's so mundane, and then the encounter unfolds with this demon girl who has no business being that flexible. The animation is janky, I won't lie, there's this one frame where her spine does something that would kill a real person, but the voice work carries it. She does this breathy little laugh right before and I had to mute my phone because I was on the bus. Not my proudest moment. The whole thing is so unpolished that it loops back around to being charming, like finding a dirty doodle in a textbook margin.

The NTR route with Marie is where things get genuinely uncomfortable in a way I think is intentional. You have to enable it, the game asks you point blank, and then you go to her home and watch her get absolutely railed by some demon while Bhaal just. Watches. There's this detail where her stockings get torn unevenly and it's such a specific thing to animate badly that I respect the attempt. The whole scene is about powerlessness which fits the plot about Bhaal being a cosmic chew toy. I just wish the sound mixing wasn't so bad during that part, the moans clip and it takes you out of it. Also I never figured out what the magic system actually does beyond unlocking one scene and then I stopped caring. The game is basically three good fap moments and a lot of clicking around a map that looks like it was drawn in MS Paint by someone who was very horny and very impatient.

You start as this regular dude who grew up in a pretty normal house, but everything always felt a bit off, like you’re wearing shoes that are one size too small and only notice it when you stop walking. Then the story kicks you in the face with “oh yeah, by the way, you might be some kind of forgotten god-blooded freak” and suddenly every weird dream, every random flash of anger or lust, starts to make sense. The game does this slow burn thing where at first you’re just flirting with girls who seem out of your league, then you realize half of them are basically hiding halos or horns behind their cute smiles. I liked how the MC starts kinda clueless, like I was mashing choices on instinct, then after a few scenes I actually stopped and thought, “if I pick this, she’s gonna either worship me or hate me,” and it actually matters more than I expected. And the sex scenes, fuck, they are not shy. They go from teasing, soft touching and kissing in cramped apartments to straight up god-tier fucking in places that feel too sacred for what you’re doing on that altar.

One moment I keep thinking about is the first time your powers slip while you’re having sex. It’s not just “you cum harder,” it’s like the whole room reacts. Lights flicker, shadows stretch, her eyes roll back in this way where you don’t know if she’s just orgasming or actually seeing some divine bullshit behind the veil. At the same time I kinda hate how in one scene the MC is this confident, dominant beast, then fifteen minutes later he’s awkward again, staring at his phone like a shy teenager who just discovered Pornhub yesterday. But also that makes him feel more real, you know? Like I remember pausing the game, opening Twitter, then coming back and feeling weirdly attached to this horny idiot. The romance is actually way sweeter than I expected in between all the sucking and riding and throat fucking. There is this girl who talks to you about faith and gods and destiny, and ten lines later you have her on her knees, lipstick smeared, calling you “my lord” with her mouth full. The game keeps mixing that emotional stuff with raw, filthy sex in a way that sometimes feels deep, sometimes feels totally trashy, and both moods kinda worked for me. Just take your time with the choices, let scenes play out without skipping every line, and treat every encounter like it might be the one that breaks your character or turns you into the kind of god mortals beg to fuck.

The sandbox structure here is a mess of menus and waiting. You click around old Greece, trying to unlock scenes with these parodies of Wonder Woman and other Justice League types, but the progression feels like pulling teeth. The 2DCG art is deliberately rough, like someone stopped caring halfway through, and the writing tries for mythology parody but lands somewhere between a bad porno script and a history textbook nobody asked for.

I spent way too long figuring out the slave management system. You capture these amazon characters and then... train them? The masturbation scenes unlock early but the anal and creampie content is buried behind repetitive grinding. There's this one titfuck animation with a character who's clearly supposed to be Diana that loops awkwardly, the frames stuttering like the engine is giving up. The oral sex scenes have this weird disconnect where the dialogue talks about Greek gods but the visuals are just standard hentai poses. Nothing about this feels like Greece except some columns in the background.

The handjob mechanics are tied to a weird minigame I still don't understand. You click and drag and sometimes it registers, sometimes it doesn't. The stripping sequences are the most polished part, which isn't saying much. Each character has layers that come off with enough interaction, but the male protagonist just stands there like a statue. The parody elements are there if you squint, Wonder Woman's costume is recognizable enough, but the whole thing feels like it's trying to be edgy without understanding what makes either the source material or the adult content work. The vaginal sex scenes have this one position that actually almost works, the 2DCG lining up correctly for about three seconds before the loop resets.

Ancient Celtic porn VN with brainwashing and sweaty combat tits. That’s basically the hook, but it actually leans harder into the whole myth vibe than I expected. You play this half‑god warrior dude ripped straight out of Irish stories, thrown into a mess of warring kingdoms, druids who are way too into mind games, and women who all look like they stepped out of some horny museum exhibit. It’s not just “walk into tavern, see boobs, click sex scene”. You start in this big last battle, shit hits the fan, and then you wake up somewhere that feels both familiar and wrong. On the surface it’s a fantasy adventure, but the game keeps poking at your head with this “are you still a hero or are you just a horny tyrant with a magic sword” thing. Which sounds deep, but then five minutes later you’re shoving a warrior girl against a tree and fingering her while she still has her armor on, so yeah.

The corruption and mind control side really sneaks up at first. There’s this slow, almost polite push where your character starts experimenting with influence. You try a charm spell in a conversation, she blushes a bit more, leans closer, laughs at a joke that wasn’t funny at all. And the game lets you go from “ok this is cute” to “oh shit I just turned a proud female warrior into a cock drunk toy that begs to be used in front of her own soldiers”. One scene that stuck in my head is with a druid girl in a forest ritual. At the beginning she’s all serious, chanting some old god stuff, pure virgin high priestess energy, and by the end you’ve got her kneeling in the grass, cum dripping from her lips, eyes glazed like she’s high on your aura. The switch from mystic ceremony to sloppy blowjob is kinda wild. Same with the lesbian stuff. Sometimes it’s tender, two girls touching each other softly in a tent, one teaching the other how to touch herself, and sometimes it’s you ordering them to lick each other clean after you creampie them both, and they obey like it’s holy duty.

What I liked is how the game lets you play with the roles. One route you are this honorable champion who still ends up balls deep in milf druid ass under a sacred oak. Another, you lean into being a manipulative bastard, warlord style, grabbing tits in the council tent while your “allies” pretend not to notice. It has these tiny choice moments that change the tone of a whole scene. Say the wrong thing to a barbarian girl and she tries to kill you. Push the right buttons, she ends up riding you by the campfire, huge breasts bouncing, yelling your name like a battle cry while your cum spills inside her and you both ignore the mythic destiny talk from earlier. Some of the animated bits are surprisingly good, like the first titfuck where the camera stays low on her chest, wet lines of lube and pre sliding between her breasts, her expression shifting from annoyed to addicted. Then in another scene the animation feels a bit stiff and you notice, but by that time you’re probably jerking and not thinking like an art critic. I played it on my phone on the couch with Spotify paused and notifications popping from WhatsApp, so it felt like filthy secret reading. Just you, ancient gods, creampies, druids who touch themselves in sacred pools, and a story that keeps asking if you are saving this land or just fucking everything that moves. Honestly, both answers feel correct.

The AI voice acting caught me off guard. Not in a good way. It's that flat, slightly robotic tone that makes every line sound like a GPS giving directions to the nearest orgy. Euryale's supposed to be this ancient succubus time-traveling to the 19th century to fix some dark fate bullshit, but she sounds like she's reading her grocery list while getting her throat fucked. Which happens. A lot.

The combat is where things get properly unhinged. You're doing these RPG-lite fights but the animations are straight up porn. Like, mid-battle Euryale will just drop onto some Victorian gentleman's face and the screen fills with this jiggly big ass animation while the squelching sounds kick in. The facesitting scenes are genuinely hot, I won't lie. Something about the way they animated the weight and movement, the slight bounce, the way the victim's hands grip her thighs. Then she'll turn around and suck off three guys at once while another one finishes on her tits. The group scenes are chaotic in the best way, bodies everywhere, fluids spraying, that distinctive squirt animation they use over and over. It's almost hypnotic.

The incest tag is there but it's buried in the mythology stuff, something about her sister Medusa from the first game. I honestly skipped most of the plot. The graphic violence though, that's not skippable. There's this one scene where she literally rips someone's throat out with her teeth mid-blowjob and the blood mixes with, you know, other fluids. The 3DCG models look kind of plasticky, like sex dolls that gained sentience and decided to murder everyone. The lesbian content feels tacked on, just a couple quick scenes that don't have the same energy as the rest. I wish they'd leaned harder into the harem management aspects but the game's already done so whatever. The animated stills are weirdly compelling, these AI-generated images that pulse and breathe slightly, uncanny valley stuff that somehow works for a demon fucking her way through history.

The squelch when a tentacle pulls free from a throat. That's what I'm here for. Not the big orchestral swells or the voice acting, which is fine I guess, but the wet, sticky, visceral detail in the sound mix. Tragedy of Medusa gets this right more often than not. There's a handjob scene early on where the rhythmic, slick friction is so perfectly layered you can almost feel the texture. It's not just a looped sample either, there's a subtle variation, a slight change in pace that makes it feel like an actual act instead of a soundboard button being mashed. I spent maybe ten minutes just replaying that one audio clip, ignoring the 3DCG animation which was, you know, moving.

The plot is something about goddess sisters leaving an island and walking into a war between gods and succubi in Athens. A prequel to Euryale's Gambit, apparently. I didn't play that one. The whole thing feels deliberately rough around the edges, like a sketch that got colored in but nobody bothered to clean up the lines. The female protagonist's voice has this flat affect that somehow makes the incestuous and mythological lesbian encounters feel more transgressive, not less. Like she's already dead inside and just going through the motions of oral sex with a sister goddess while a demon war rages outside.

There's a moment with a succubus where the sound of a zipper is way too loud. It just cuts through the mix like a digital knife, completely taking me out of the fantasy setting. Why is there a modern zipper sound in ancient Athens? It's such a small, stupid thing but I can't unhear it now. The graphic violence tags are no joke though. The crunch of a bone breaking during a combat loss has a horrifyingly good, dry crack that contrasts almost obscenely with the soft, wet sounds of the sex scenes. It's a jarring mix that probably shouldn't work, but the audio team clearly had their priorities straight, even if the texture mapping on the 3D models is sometimes a blurry mess. I wish the ambient background sounds of the city were more present, but they won't be patching that in now.