Not even sure why I clicked on that thumbnail, maybe boredom or curiosity, but this thing went way further than I expected. It’s weird how they made Samus look both powerful and humiliated at the same time - like she’s still that cold bounty hunter under all the mess, but the game keeps pushing her into situations that feel filthy in a way that’s almost hypnotic. You start thinking you’re just clicking through another cheap parody, then suddenly you’re adjusting sliders for things you didn’t think you’d ever have control over. There’s something so wrong about it, yet it’s done with a confidence that makes you forget to question it. I don’t even know if that’s good or bad.

The controls are clunky sometimes, especially when you try to switch between the toys - the physics go crazy, and I laughed instead of getting turned on. But then again, when the tentacles start moving in sync with her breathing, that laughter dies real quick. The sound design is grossly effective: too wet, too close, like someone’s recording from inside her throat. I kept muting it and unmuting again because silence felt even dirtier. The “pee” option caught me off guard; I thought it was a joke setting until I saw how detailed the animation was. Maybe too detailed. And the cake thing? I still don’t get it, but it sticks in your head like a smell you can’t wash off.

I guess what hits hardest is how the game doesn’t pretend to be anything noble. It’s pure control fantasy, ugly and honest. Sometimes she looks back at the camera and there’s this flicker - maybe shame, maybe pleasure - and I can’t tell which one turns me on more. The UI is garbage, but you end up forgetting about it, just lost in rhythm and skin and that awful metallic echo when she moans. I closed the tab, opened it again ten minutes later, and hated myself slightly less the second time.

This thing feels like someone took all the horny Zelda fanart from Reddit, poured cheap beer on it, and then coded it into a clicker scene after failing a Unity tutorial. And I actually mean that in a good way, mostly. It is literally one screen: drunk, knocked out princess Zelda sprawled there like Breath of the Wild went very wrong, and you just poke at her and her clothes like a perv squirrel looking for nuts. It starts super tame, just her in that half-fancy, half-party outfit, boobs pushed up, legs a bit open, and you kind of think "ok this will be soft." Then you click the bra, and it just falls away like it was held by hopes and dreams, not fabric. Her tits are huge, soft-looking, that classic blonde elf princess thing but cranked up. Little by little you strip her, panties too, and suddenly the whole tone changes: sleeping Zelda, totally out, ready for whatever. No menu, no routes, no dialog trees, nothing like that. Just you, her body, and a bunch of invisible buttons sitting on her skin. It is actually funny how many of those I had to find by accident. I spent way too much time trying to click one nipple exactly in the right spot on my phone screen, using Chrome, and kept hitting the fucking Creambee logo instead. It opens again over and over and I still keep doing it. This will never change and I will keep being annoyed by it.

The sex stuff itself is pure fan-service. Pussy on one side, ass on the other, and you bounce between them like you're speedrunning a very cursed any% route. No romance, no build-up, just raw "she's asleep, you do things" energy. As someone into poly and usually wanting choices, I expected multiple guys doing stuff you could maybe swap between, or at least a bit of control on who is where, but here it is more like they just exist as background props while you direct the on/off switches: penetration here, penetration there, cumshot now, cumshot later. There's a particular moment I kinda liked too much: when you time the thrusting right and then hit the cum on her face, and it splatters across her closed eyes and cheeks while she still looks peaceful, like she's just dreaming about cooking with Link or something. It is fucked up and hot at the same time. Bukkake over her big boobs, stomach, everything, feels like painting a very illegal Hyrule fresco. And then there is the futa secret. That stupid little hidden click by the bottle on the left, I missed it first time. When it finally triggers and she suddenly has this thick cock pointing up from between her legs, it turns the whole scene into some weird Zelda multiverse. You can stroke it, make her cum all over her own body, so you get her semen mixing with theirs, and for some reason that detail made it hotter for me, like she is being abused but also part of it, her own body betraying her. The game looks simple, no voice, just little wet noises and impact sounds when you click to fuck her. Nothing epic, just very functional jerk-off audio, but when the cum splashes, that sticky sound is weirdly satisfying. There is no moral, no progression, no saving Hyrule, nothing. Just a drunk princess Zelda, boobs out, pussy and ass open, futanari Easter egg, a pile of cumshots, and you poking her like an idiot until you finally close the tab in shame. Or keep it open. Whatever.

Samus walks in like she owns the whole damn galaxy, and in this thing, she kind of does… except you get to ruin that. It starts almost too simple: helmet off, that perfect blonde hair dropping, her suit still all shiny and serious like she’s about to fight Ridley, not get railed. Camera locked in close, proper pov style, like you’re the one she’s staring at with that “I should not be doing this” face. The game doesn’t pretend there’s some big story. You’re not saving planets. You’re just there to strip this famous bounty hunter piece by piece and see what Nintendo would definitely fire someone over if they saw it.

What I liked is how it lets you linger. You don’t need to jump straight to pounding her. You can just drag your time on her chest, squeeze those ridiculous tits, watch them bounce when you poke around. The boob physics are actually kind of too bouncy, but in a fun trashy way that fits hentai. One moment you’re playing with her nipples, zooming in like a perv to see them getting wet and hard, next second you’re shoving your cock inside her and the whole mood shifts from teasing to “yeah, she’s not walking straight after this.” Sometimes she moans like she’s still trying to act tough, like she wants to pretend she’s not into it, but her body just sells her out. I laughed when I noticed how her eyes roll back right at the moment you slam all the way in, because for a second it looks like she’s dying, then it actually looks kind of hot. Also, whoever decided the camera should lock right on her face during the first creampie deserves a beer. You see her realizing you’re not pulling out, the little panic, then that messy satisfied look when she feels all that cum staying deep inside. I opened Discord on my second monitor and literally typed, “I just broke Samus” to no one in particular.

Controls are easy, maybe too easy. After a while you might wish there was some small variation besides different speeds and angles, but then you change position a bit and forget what you were complaining about because her ass looks stupid good when you slam her from below. One tiny thing that annoyed me: the way her hair clips a bit into her shoulder, I kept noticing it and it threw me off during one of the best parts where she’s riding you and her tits are just bouncing in your face while you stare up from that perfect pov. But then she starts panting faster, her pussy squeezing when she orgasms around you, and you stop caring. The last creampie where you just keep filling her, watching your load slowly leak out while she’s still twitching, looks dirty in exactly the right way for a character that grew up as “childhood hero” for half the internet. It feels wrong, but the kind of wrong you click replay for.

Moon looks so innocent the first second you see her, that soft face and the short skirt barely handling her tiny hips, like she’s supposed to be off-limits. But this game doesn’t care about limits. It lures you in with that cute, fake-Pokemon style setting, those candy colors, and then - bam - you’re balls-deep in filth. There’s no slow fade, no “romantic” pretense; just options, clicks, and reactions. You fuck her however you want. When I hit the anal option the first time, her surprised moan hit that part of my brain that feels almost guilty…but not quite enough to stop. Her body moves like she wasn’t made to say no anyway. You could say it’s a twisted pleasure, but that’d be too polite. I’d rather call it what it is: raw obsession disguised as simple hentai fun.

The secret background item took me forever to notice, and when I finally did - boom - her chest swelled like something out of a fever dream. Not too realistic, more cartoon-bouncy, but it worked. There’s something addictive about the contrast: the cute pastel universe mixed with this absolutely filthy core. Creambee does this thing where everything looks playful but ends up obscene beyond repair. That breast expansion scene? Felt like watching a sugar packet explode in slow motion. And then, that final cum option… sometimes it feels silly, clicking a glowing button just to mark the end, but I catch myself grinning anyway because it ties it all together like a perverted little ritual.

Maybe that’s the point here. It’s not about pretending this is a “story.” It’s about controlling a world made for your id and seeing how far you can take this girl - or how far she’ll let you. The pace, the faces, the absolute dirtiness of it all hits harder the longer you mess around. If you play, do yourself a favor: don’t rush to the finish. Tease her, poke around. Make her beg. Things get nastier when you don’t look for the end right away.

This one feels like somebody took a Metroid pin-up from an old imageboard, spilled horny all over it, and then decided, “yeah, that’s enough plot.” You get Samus Aran on a sunny beach, out of her armor, just a blonde in a tiny bikini that absolutely does not qualify as battle gear. No sci-fi HUD, no big space lore, just warm light on wet skin and a body that looks like it was sculpted to be grabbed. It’s almost funny how fast things go from “cute swimsuit fanart” to “oh, she is not getting out of this.” Tentacles slip in from the edges and by the time you realize it, she’s already tied up, wrists pulled back, thighs spread, like the ocean itself decided to fuck her. There is no build-up, and somehow that is the build-up.

What I liked is that the game trusts you are a degenerate already. It throws you straight into controlling what goes where. You poke at the interface and suddenly her bikini bottom is just pushed aside and there’s this first slow penetration that feels more intimate than it should for a character from a Nintendo game. You switch it to anal almost by reflex, like you are scrolling TikTok, and her expression changes just slightly, jaw tighter, eyes wetter. Sometimes she looks like she’s trying not to moan, sometimes like she already gave up. You get to play with tempo, depth, angle, like you are the horny director of your own very small and very focused porn. I like how the internal view button is hidden just enough that when you find it, it feels like you unlocked something forbidden. Suddenly you see the cock or the tentacle stretching her from inside, sliding into her cunt, then her ass, those soft pink walls pushed open. It is clinical and filthy at the same time, like watching a medical scan of a sin.

The best part for me was messing with the “secret” that turns her into futa. It is so stupid and so good. One second you have classic Samus, helpless, full of slime and cum, the next she is still bound, but now there’s this thick cock standing up from her own body, twitching while the tentacles keep using her holes. She becomes victim and weapon at same time, except she cannot use it, only leak from it. That extra dick dripping while she gets pounded is the kind of detail that makes my inner gallery curator nod like “ah yes, culture.” And yeah, you can go all the way to that last messy cumshot, filling her pussy until it overflows, watching it spill out while another load hits her face, streaks of white on her hair, her cheeks, her open mouth. Sometimes the rhythm of the animation feels slightly stiff, sometimes her eyes don’t quite match the intensity you’re giving her with those sliders, but it fits the vibe. It is like a rough sketch that someone kept jerking off to instead of finishing. The beach background barely matters after a while, it just becomes a stage for one idea: blonde heroine, tied up, used too hard, and you guiding the camera like a pervert with taste. I kind of wish there were more outfits, more poses, more places to touch her that actually react, but at the same time, if there were, I’d probably never stop poking at it. As it is, it’s one long, focused scene of Samus being broken in on the sand, and that’s honestly enough.

This thing feels like someone ripped a wet dream straight out of a horny Smash Bros tournament and forgot to clean it up after. In a good way. Kind of. You start with Samus already wrecked, armor torn, proud bounty hunter turned into this shivering piece of meat on the arena floor, crowd roaring somewhere up there while she’s stuck face down, ass up, like a hentai artist’s sketch that got out of control. No build-up, no gentle warm-up, it’s just “you lost, now you pay with your ass” and that’s the whole mood. As a cosplayer who’s been squeezed into that damn blue suit for cons, watching this version of her get pinned by a big orange dragon with a cock about as subtle as a freight train is… weirdly relatable? My brain is screaming “poor Samus” and my body is like “yeah, zoom in closer, thanks.”

Charizard is treated like some filthy boss reward. Once he wins, he just claims her body like loot. The camera loves her ass more than the game loves its own UI. You get those sharp close-ups of his tip grinding on her tight asshole, the kind that make you bite your lip without noticing. There’s this one moment where he finally pushes in and she stiffens, hands clawing at the ground, visor cracked so you see just a bit of her face, her mouth open like she wants to scream but only this broken little moan slips out. That hit way harder than I expected. I paused the game there, grabbed my phone, and googled “Samus anal fanart” and yeah, that was a rabbit hole. Also, why her boots look slightly different shade of blue from her suit here? It bugs me way too much and the game never explains it, like it’s trolling color nerds on purpose.

Most of it is raw fucking, no romance, no “are you ok,” just humiliation in front of an arena and the camera acting like a perv who found the best seat in the house. You can nudge the pacing a bit, make him thrust slower to really grind into her or just go full brutal and watch the way her body reacts, that little shake of her hips every time he bottoms out. There’s spit and slick sounds and this messy mix of pain and pleasure on her face. She starts all tense, fighting it, but after a while her eyes glaze and her tongue peeks out and you get this nasty shift where it’s not clear if she still hates it or if her body betrayed her. That fucked with me more than any “romantic” porn game. At one point he yanks her head up by the hair so she’s forced to look toward the stands, like he’s showing the whole crowd his new toy, and I swear I felt my stomach drop and my dick twitch at the same time.

The creampie twist is wild too. Dragon boy spends all that time wrecking her ass, pounding her like he wants to rearrange planets, and then still decides to dump his load in her pussy at the end, like, “one more hole, why not.” It’s almost rude how sudden it is. He pulls out of her stretched asshole, shoves into her drenched slit, and it’s just this sloppy slide, no resistance, like her body just gave up. When he finally cums, it’s thick and heavy and you see it flooding her, then dripping out in strings while she lies there shaking, suit peeled away, completely ruined. The humiliation is the whole point. It’s like watching all that Nintendo childhood stuff get dragged into a back alley and fucked stupid under a spotlight. If you’re anything like me and you’ve spent time posing as Samus in front of bathroom mirrors, you’ll probably find yourself slowing down the shots, replaying her first anal penetration a few times, and testing which angles turn you on the most before you even realize you’re doing it.

Zelda finally letting you into her bedroom feels weirdly intimate, like you somehow glitched out of the main quest and fell into the horny secret route nobody on Miiverse was supposed to find. The room is soft and quiet, candles, that royal bed that probably has more lore than half the temples, and she’s sitting there in her white dress, not as a goddess or some wise NPC, but as this slightly shy, slightly arrogant elf girl who knows exactly how hot she is. The game doesn’t pretend you’re saving Hyrule this time. You’re here to do one thing: talk, drink, and try to get the princess of legend to stop acting like a sacred relic and start acting like a woman who wants to get fucked.

It starts slow in a way that kinda messed with my head. You’re choosing what to say, what to pour, when to push the wine closer, when to stay quiet and let her ramble about destiny and royal duties and all that. She does this half-serious, half-teasing talk, like “A hero should know how to treat a lady,” while you’re literally staring at the bottle and thinking, “Ok, just one more glass and maybe she’ll drop that cloak.” You can screw up, too. Pick the wrong answer, or don’t read her mood, and she just calmly finishes her drink, says something polite and cold, then crawls into bed fully dressed and you’re left with your dick in your hand and nothing but that soft bedroom music mocking you. The first time it happened I alt-tabbed to Telegram complaining to a friend that the princess just friendzoned me in a porn game. Felt kinda real, honestly.

But when you hit the right notes, it’s like watching a slow striptease that actually feels earned. She doesn’t just suddenly get naked for no reason. Her cheeks get a bit redder, her words start to slip, she leans closer, the dress loosen up. She laughs too loud at something that wasn’t that funny, adjusts her top like it’s no big deal, and a bit of skin flashes. There’s this one moment where she sets the glass down, looks at you with that smug “I’m still in control” face, then stands up and turns her back, and you get to watch the royal dress slide down just a little too far. She’s not some hentai factory elf with gravity-defying boobs, she’s Zelda, with those familiar shapes, the long ears, the hair, the jewelry, but now it’s all framed in dirty context. The game loves to tease you with short hentai clips too, like little rewards for not being a total idiot with your choices. You see her on the bed, on her knees, tits bouncing in a way you never thought of when you were playing on your old Nintendo console as a kid. It hits that strange mix of nostalgia and “wow I’m absolutely going to hell for this” and still makes you click for the next drink, the next line, the next piece of clothing on the floor.

Misty always looked kind of untouchable on my old Game Boy screen, you know? That sharp red ponytail, all attitude and no patience for idiots. Here she’s still that stubborn gym leader girl, just… completely fucked over by “trainer rules” that feel written by some horny professor who got rejected one time too many. The match is already lost when you arrive in the scene, no long intro, no long story, she’s on her knees in that classic blue swimsuit, breathing hard, trying to act tough while her opponent is casually explaining the choice: hand over her pokemon or pay with her body. And she is so damn proud that of course she picks the stupid option. Not because it’s logical, but because it’s her. The moment she spits “I’m not giving you my team” and he just laughs, I actually paused for a second, like, wow, girl, you are about to get wrecked for a point of honor in a hentai spin-off of a kids franchise. Peak life decisions.

The actual sex hits surprisingly fast. No ten layers of teasing, he just grabs her by the hips, pulls that swimsuit aside like it was only cosplay anyway, and you get this nice contrast of lean teen body, flat little chest bouncing a bit, and this ridiculous big cock that obviously does not belong in the same anime universe. First it’s fingers, messy and impatient, pushing into her while she’s still arguing about “battle rules” like that matters when she is already wet enough that it shines. There’s this one angle where she’s bent forward over the battlefield floor, you can see the red hair slipping out of her tie while he pushes in her pussy for the first time, and she does that mix of moan and insult, calling him a bastard while her hips are already moving back. I liked that she doesn’t suddenly turn into a moaning sex doll. She’s pissed, ashamed, horny, all at once. It’s hot in a kind of wrong way that feels right for a parody. Then he flips her, goes for anal like it’s the most natural next step, no soft talk, just spit, a thumb, and then full penetration, and her whole body tenses in that “fuck this hurts but don’t stop” way. I’m a bit salty they rush the anal part, I wanted more of her trying to keep her pride while her ass is getting opened up like that, but whatever, maybe my kinks are too specific. When he finally pulls out and unloads everything over her face and hair, there is cum everywhere, dripping down her cheeks, stuck on her eyelashes, some of it on the small curve of her chest, and she’s glaring up at him with this defeated, humiliated look that still has that Misty spark. It’s not romantic, not sweet, just filthy, like Pornhub crashed into Pokémon and nobody called Nintendo’s lawyers in time. I keep remembering that stupid little detail where a drop slides off her nose while she mutters that she’ll get stronger and “never lose like this again”, even though you know damn well she probably will, and honestly, I kind of hope she does.

It starts like one of those dumb jokes trainers tell each other on long routes. “What happens when you lose a battle and your wallet’s empty?” Except this time it’s Dawn standing there in the forest, boots in the mud, pokéballs useless at her belt, and this smug bastard across from her deciding that prize money isn’t what he wants at all. The trees are all quiet and soft around them, like a gentle background that has no idea it’s about to watch a girl get absolutely wrecked. It feels weirdly cozy, the little forest clearing, almost romantic if you ignore the fact that she’s literally paying off a debt with her ass. Her face does that mix of anger and shame I love drawing, the “I want to tell you to fuck off but I can’t” look, and she’s biting her lip while she turns around and lifts her skirt. This is not the kind of side quest Professor Rowan warns you about.

The thing that hit me is how much the whole animation leans into that humiliating, caught-off-guard vibe. No slow buildup, no soft fade in, just her already bent over with her panties pulled aside, grass brushing her knees while he lines himself up from behind. He pounds her hard, really going for that rough doggystyle, hips slapping into her ass with that cheap but honest flash-style rhythm that somehow makes it feel more raw. Her body keeps jerking forward with each thrust and she tries to hold herself up with her hands, but you see the little tremble in her arms like she might just collapse into the dirt. And yeah, there is someone off to the side filming the whole thing, like some sleazy “trainer cam” moment, and I swear that stupid detail is what makes it stick in my brain. Imagine scrolling on X and suddenly someone drops “Dawn loses battle” with that green forest background and bad compression. I hate how much I want to draw a fake thumbnail of that.

The sex itself doesn’t pretend to be romantic. He goes straight for using her, like she’s a rare catch he finally got, pushing all the way in, pulling her hips back to impale her deeper, making her take it without mercy. There’s this one part where he grips her waist and yanks her back so hard her head snaps up and her mouth opens in this silent scream, and my brain just instantly goes “ok, that frame alone, I want to paint that with stupidly detailed lighting on her tears.” And then, of course, the cumshot is exactly what you’d expect and also kinda better than you expect: he rams himself into her one last time, holds her there shivering, and fills her up inside, all focused on that thick creampie dripping back out of her while she’s still on all fours, cheeks flushed, hair messy, like some broke little porn star who just realized the world is cruel. It’s dirty, a bit trashy, not subtle at all, and honestly that cheap, straightforward vibe might be my favorite thing about it even though I’ll absolutely complain about the same thing tomorrow.