Akabur doing TMNT. Yeah, that Akabur. The one from those Princess Trainer games everyone and their mother has probably seen. So you know the drill, that very specific style where the girls look like they're constantly on the verge of something, that glossy sheen to everything. It's about April O'Neil, obviously. And the turtles. And Splinter, because of course.

The whole thing is broken into chapters, which is a fancy way of saying it's a slow burn you're clicking through. The art is what it is, you've seen it. I remember getting to the first real scene and just staring at the dialogue choices like an idiot. Do I pick the obviously lewd one or play it cool? Who am I kidding, it's an adult game. You pick the lewd one. The tension isn't really in the choice, it's in waiting to see how Akabur draws the payoff. And with April, it's exactly what you'd expect, that exaggerated body language. I got so focused on unlocking the next image that I completely forgot there was supposed to be a plot about mutagen or whatever. Something about a mating season, the title is right there, I'm not stupid.

The group stuff, the gangbang tag, that's the whole point of the later chapters. It's messy and ridiculous and leans so hard into the parody that you can't even be shocked. It's just funny. The mutant designs are... well, they're turtles. But the way they're posed is pure Akabur. I did get annoyed at one point because a specific scene with Splinter felt like it took forever to trigger, I kept clicking the same damn room. But then the next April scene loaded and I forgot what I was complaining about. It's a flash game from a bygone era, basically, running in a browser like it's 2007. Don't expect a masterpiece, expect to click and grin.

The whole thing feels like someone animated a Newgrounds flash from 2005 and I mean that as the highest possible compliment. April's proportions are so aggressively stylized that her spine should have snapped three scenes ago, but whatever, physics died so the redhead parody could thrive. The loading screen alone made me check if my browser had reverted to Windows XP. Nostalgia is a hell of a drug.

There's this one moment where a pizza box just slides into frame for no reason. Nobody ordered it. Nobody eats it. It just exists as set dressing, a silent tribute to the source material. I spent maybe two full minutes staring at it wondering if I missed a clickable interaction. I didn't. The devs just put a pizza box there because they understand the deep lore. The dialogue options are what you'd expect if someone transcribed a late night Adult Swim bumper, full of lines that make you snort then immediately question your life choices. At one point April says something that sounds like it was ripped from a deleted scene of the 87 cartoon, except the 87 cartoon never had a "mating season" subplot. My brain short-circuited trying to reconcile the voice I remember with the text I was reading.

The humor lands in that weird space between "I can't believe they went there" and "of course they went there, it's a parody." There's a moment involving a manhole cover that I won't spoil but let's just say the sewer level metaphors write themselves. The art style wobbles between "deliberately janky tribute" and "actually just janky" and I genuinely cannot tell where the line is anymore. Maybe there isn't one. The redhead curse is real and this game embraces it fully, no shame, no brakes, just pure unfiltered cartoon degeneracy wrapped in a shell of turtle power references. I wish there was more actual turtle but also I don't, because the absence makes the whole thing funnier somehow. Like a joke where the setup never pays off but the setup itself becomes the punchline.

April O'Neil with her tits out and pupils blown wide, that's the whole pitch and honestly it works better than it should. You get her on a dingy couch, legs spread, and there's a row of buttons for drugs, toys, positions. I clicked the syringe icon first because obviously, and her eyes roll back while her mouth hangs open. The animation loops are short but the jiggle physics on those big tits feel tuned by someone who actually watched the old cartoon and thought "what if she was a total mess instead."

The undress mechanic is weirdly satisfying. You peel off her yellow jumpsuit piece by piece, and she keeps that dazed smile like she's not sure if she's in the sewer or a motel. Customization is there too, you can swap hair shades and skin tones, but the redhead default is the one that matters. I spent way too long cycling through the same three facial expressions trying to get her to look more wrecked. There's a moment where she drools and it just hangs there, and I laughed out loud because it's so stupidly horny.

The whole thing runs in a browser, no download, which means I alt-tabbed to check Twitter and came back to her mid-gasp with a vibrator pressed against her clit. The sound design is basically wet slaps and her moaning "oh fuck" on a loop, but after a while it becomes background noise. I forgot what I was doing at one point and just stared at her tits bouncing while the mouse cursor hovered over the "fuck" button. Then I clicked it and she arched her back and I remembered why I opened this in the first place. The turtle friends are nowhere to be seen, which is probably for the best. Or maybe not. I don't know what that says about me.