Idle Waifu feels like one of those games you open in another tab “just to check something” and then suddenly your tea is cold and your dick is tired. It’s super simple on the surface, like those cheap idle clickers you play on your phone when pretending to answer Slack messages, but here the whole point is staring at horny anime girls auto-grinding their levels while you plan which outfit you wanna tear off next. The loop is dumb in a good way: numbers go up, affection goes up, clothes get shorter, animations get nastier. You don’t need a guide, you just poke around, click stuff, watch bars fill and asses jiggle. Feels almost like cheating, like the game is doing all the work and you’re just the pervert supervisor.

The real hook is how every outfit basically feels like you bought a new porn loop for that girl. One moment she’s in some half-assed “casual” clothes that already look too slutty for outside, next she’s in a micro bikini, then some cosplay that looks like they asked ChatGPT “make me a priest outfit but filthy” and just accepted the first answer. A lot of it clearly AI cooked, faces a bit too perfect, hair not completely matching, sometimes the boobs look like they could break physics, but it kinda fits the lazy horny vibe. You grind for gold, buy that new outfit, hit the scene, and suddenly she’s riding cock with 3 speeds like you’re scrolling through TikTok, except every swipe is just “faster, faster, ok now I’m actually clenching”. The speed control is funny, like watching a porn gif in VLC and mashing plus key. Slow for edging, medium for “yeah this looks like sex”, max speed for “this is a jackhammer from hell and I respect it”.

What I liked most is this trashy mix of chill and depraved. You can literally leave it on, go answer messages on WhatsApp or doomscroll Twitter, then come back and boom, enough points to unlock another outfit where she’s dripping wet and bouncing on dick like it’s a pogo stick. Sometimes the loops are a bit too short, like you’re about to cum and the animation resets, and your brain goes “bro, just five more frames please”. Some of the body types feel copy pasted too, like the AI only learned “titty big = good” and never took a day of anatomy class. But then you unlock one scene where she’s pinned, thighs shaking, tits slapping against her chest while she’s getting pounded from below, and any complaint just melts out of your head. I wish there was more “cruel” stuff, more bad endings where she clearly had enough and you still don’t stop, but that’s my broken taste speaking. Here it’s softer, more “endless horny loop” than tragic fall, yet there is still this tiny sadness when you realize you’re grinding affection with a virtual doll made by another virtual brain. Anyway. Dare to play it alone, or keep it running in a hidden tab while pretending to check your email, I’m not your dad.

New girl moves in across the hall, heavy boots, eyeliner sharp enough to cut you, shirt two sizes too small for her ass, and suddenly your boring little apartment block turns into the most distracting place on earth. She barely looks at you at first, just this cold side glance and a tiny smirk like she already knows exactly how much you’re staring. And of course you’re staring. The whole game hangs on that tension: she’s right there, close enough to hear you jerk off through the wall if you’re not careful, and far enough that one stupid choice turns everything awkward. It feels like someone took the usual dating sim stuff, then stripped it down to just you, her, a crappy corridor, some tiny choices, and the slow burn of “how far can I push this neighbour thing before it explodes in my face”.

What I liked is how casual the sex side creeps in. You don’t start with some “hi, I’m your new slutty goth neighbour, let’s fuck” bullshit. It starts with tiny scenes: you hearing her music through the wall at night, her leaning against the doorframe in that lazy way that makes her chest pop, you catching just a bit too much skin when she bends over to pick her keys. Then you get that first choice to comment on it or pretend you saw nothing. Pick the bold option and she doesn’t melt right away, she kind of tests you. Stares a little too long. Sits on your crappy couch and spreads her legs like it’s totally normal, phone in hand, pretending she’s not watching your eyes move. There’s one moment where she “forgets” to pull her shorts all the way up after using your bathroom, and the game hangs there, giving you that sick little date sim question: touch, tease, or play it safe. That scene worked way better than when she suddenly gets super soft and flirty later, which honestly felt like a different girl wrote her own script. But that weird mood swing sort of fits a goth neighbour who might ghost you after blowing you on the balcony and then act like nothing happened when you meet in the stairs.

The writing is rough in places, like someone thinking in their second language and not checking grammar, but that actually matches the mood. There’s a line where she says something like “I like when people observe me” instead of “watch me”, and it sounds wrong, yet also kind of hot in this clinical way, like she’s inviting you to study her body. Some of the erotic text goes a bit too fast, though. One minute you’re talking about her band or whatever, next line she’s grinding that big ass on your lap like she’s known you for years, and I kinda wished the game forced you to wait, torture you with another day of bumping into her on the staircase, watching her hips sway while you’re holding grocery bags. Choices matter just enough that you feel like you can corrupt her vibe or keep it more “friends that fuck sometimes”. The whole thing is like testing how much your neighbour will let you perv on her before she either pulls you into her place by the shirt or slams the door in your face. It’s short, janky, horny as hell, and somehow both too tame and too explicit at the same time. And that stupid hallway plant near your doors is always in the frame, doing nothing, looking ugly as hell. I hate that plant.

This one feels like some horny fever dream you had back in school, when you just discovered those old flash porn games on Newgrounds and didn’t really care if anything was “finished” or “balanced” or whatever. You’re basically this normal dude, staring from your own eyes, and you’ve got this robot girl who acts like a girlfriend because you tell her to. She’s kind of like the fantasy of “perfect obedient girl” that a lot of games try to make, but here it’s stripped down so hard it almost feels awkward. In a good way. Or maybe not good, just raw. You pull her in close, give a command, and she just… does it. No drama, no fake moral choice, just straight up “yeah, I’ll sit on your dick now” energy.

The whole thing plays almost like a tiny sex simulator someone cooked up in a horny weekend after too much porn and not enough sleep. You’re in this POV angle, watching her react to what you choose. Sometimes she’s playful, sometimes you’re just there thrusting and waiting for that perfect moment to fill her up. When you finally push deep and stay there, watching that sticky creampie drip while she smiles like this is the most normal thing in the world, it hits that old-school porn game nostalgia really hard. And then she starts talking about getting pregnant from it, and you kind of feel your brain do that weird switch: half “haha this is ridiculous” and half “yeah, knock her up, go on, make that robot womb work.” It’s so dumb. It’s also hot as hell.

There’s a funny side that pops up at the most random times. Little bits of humor in her lines, moments where she acts like a cliché romance anime girl and then instantly goes back to taking it raw. It’s almost like the game can’t decide if it wants to be a sweet girlfriend sim or just you, balls deep, breeding a robot because you can. Which is kinda perfect. The lack of polish shows in places: some transitions feel sudden, some reactions don’t quite match what’s going on, a few loops repeat so much you start noticing the tiny details instead of the sex. I got stuck staring at one tiny animation hiccup on her hip for way too long, mid thrust, like “why is that pixel jumping” while I’m trying to finish. The funny thing is, that almost made it feel more personal. Less like some big studio thing, more like something a pervy nerd put together and kept adding to bit by bit. You feel that early-stage vibe everywhere. She listens to you, she moves for you, she takes your cum and talks about carrying your baby like it’s just part of your daily routine, and even when it’s clunky, it scratches that old itch from those simple browser porn games where the whole point was: click, fuck, cum, repeat. No big story, no long setup. Just you, a robot “girlfriend,” and the quiet thrill of watching her body react when you finish inside and think, “yeah, she’s definitely not safe tonight.”

This thing is such a weird mix that it already feels like a party game I’d pull up on my laptop when everyone’s a bit too horny and a bit too shy. It’s basically you, your dick, and 2B pretending to be your chaotic life coach while rubbing your brain with “48 Laws of Power” and rubbing… other stuff too. She’s not the quiet, stoic android from the original game here, she talks more like some slightly unhinged, overconfident camgirl who read one self help book and now thinks she’s your personal mentor. Half of the time she’s quoting Robert Greene, the other half she’s teasing you about how easily distracted you are by her thighs. And she’s right. The text jumps between “here is how to play power games in conversation” and “ok, now edge for me until the next law.” Very educational. Very stupid. Very hot.

What I really like is how unpolished it feels, in a good way. Some lines read like the dev typed them at 4 coffees in, no editor, just raw horny brain. There’s this one moment where 2B is explaining something about controlling how much you talk in a social situation, then the dialogue box suddenly shifts and she calls you out for clicking too fast and “not actually absorbing shit, just scrolling for tits.” I actually laughed and then, of course, slowed down like a good goon. The porn scenes are not subtle at all. She leans hard into the classic “I’m above you, but I’ll reward you if you obey” thing, with simple 2D art that really loves her ass and those legs. No pretense, no artsy metaphors, just “here is your android mommy dom reciting power strategies while making you ache.” Sometimes the pacing is all over the place: you get two laws packed tight together, then suddenly a long teasing stretch where she just keeps you on the edge and repeats similar lines, and I started thinking about what I needed from the grocery store. Then she dropped a line about “weaponizing silence in conversation” while telling me not to touch myself and I was suddenly paying attention again. The sound is mostly minimal, but the tiny clicky effects on choices and the occasional moan feel almost too loud, like when Pornhub starts an ad while you forgot your speakers are up. I wish there was more music variety, but honestly, I also kind of like the quiet, like she’s coaching you one on one in a hotel hallway at some anime con and you’re just praying nobody hears. It’s dumb, horny, and kind of helpful in a way that would make any serious therapist cry, and I’m absolutely going to “practice my social skills” with it again.