Luke's got this whole university thing figured out - or at least he thinks he does. This isn't your typical college romance where some awkward freshman stumbles through dating mishaps. Nah, Luke's been through this rodeo before, literally. Time loops, resets, whatever you want to call it - he's lived his first year over and over until he's basically gaming the system. Now he's ready for what he calls "Phase Two," which sounds way more strategic than it probably should be for a guy just trying to get laid.

The whole premise is pretty wild when you think about it. Luke's essentially become a relationship speedrunner, knowing exactly which buttons to push with each girl. There's this maid cafe setup that becomes central to everything - because of course there is. The game throws you into managing relationships with different girls who each have their own specific kinks and fetishes. One minute you're dealing with some vanilla romance situation, next thing you know you're deep in BDSM territory or watching some serious NTR unfold. The variety is honestly overwhelming sometimes. You've got your classic anime parody characters mixed in too - I spotted what looked like Nico Robin and Boa Hancock variants, which feels both nostalgic and weird at the same time.

What gets me is how the game handles the whole "perfect base" concept Luke keeps talking about. It's like he's treating relationships like some kind of RPG stat management, which... honestly isn't that far from reality if we're being real here. The turn-based combat elements feel randomly thrown in, but somehow work with the overall simulator vibe. There's phone interactions, dating mechanics, and this whole corruption progression system that gets pretty intense. The multiple endings thing means you're constantly second-guessing your choices, wondering if you're optimizing for the right fetish path or missing out on some kinky scenario. Luke might have his advantage, but navigating all these relationship dynamics still feels like controlled chaos.

I didn’t expect to laugh this much during what’s basically a porn game about rebuilding civilization with your dick, but here we are. “Dickcare” doesn’t even pretend to have subtlety, which somehow makes it better. It’s like the dev looked at every crossover hentai fantasy - Velma squinting behind foggy glasses, Raven pretending she’s not into it, Tatsumaki rolling her eyes while secretly moaning - and said, yeah, let’s just throw them all in one ruined world and call it salvation. The writing’s half self-aware and half deranged sincerity; the voice lines swing between awkwardly horny and genuinely funny. There’s one scene with Frankie in a busted gym locker room that made me pause, not because it was hot (though it is), but because she calls you “hero” in this weird soft tone right before things get messy. It stays in your head longer than expected.

What’s wild is how much *sound* adds to everything. You can tell someone cared about the way a zipper slides down or the slap echoing off concrete walls. The sandbox part? Looser than it sounds. You wander, talk, get distracted by some zombie side plot that doesn’t matter, and suddenly Velma’s stuck halfway through a ventilation shaft. It’s ridiculous, yeah, but also... kind of perfect. There’s no grind, no fake moral choice. Just dirty, absurd freedom. Though, I swear one moaning loop cuts off too early - it’s such a small glitch but now I obsess over it. Maybe that’s the point: perfection would ruin the charm.

It’s funny how a game full of cum jokes and cartoon parodies ends up feeling more alive than most serious stuff. Maybe because it doesn’t care if you take it seriously. One minute you’re saving humanity, next you’re wiping something off Raven’s cape while she pretends not to blush. If there were awards for “Most Unnecessarily Emotional Cum Scene,” this one wins without competition.

Yui looks like the kind of wife you only see on Reddit threads that are clearly fake. Super sweet, big soft ass that keeps stealing camera focus, totally loyal, obsessed with her wedding dress job and also with you. The game really leans into that. Early on you’re just vibing in your tiny apartment, she’s measuring lace, you’re scrolling on your phone like a useless husband, and it actually feels boring in a nice way. That boring feeling is important, because when the corruption starts it hits harder. One moment she’s talking about veil fabrics, next moment her phone lights up with “Kuroda” and the whole mood drops like your battery at 5% with no charger. I liked that shift. Felt a bit too real. I literally paused the game to check Telegram while she was panicking, lol.

Kuroda is such a walking red flag that if he was on Tinder the app would soft‑ban him. Drug mess, manipulative, and the story keeps pretending “he’s still family” like that fixes anything. Watching Yui try to defend him is painful and hot at the same time, which makes me sound terrible, but here we are. The corruption is mostly emotional at first. Small lies. Late returns home. Her eyes looking away a little too quick. There is this one scene where she comes back from “helping him” and she’s still in her nice dress, but her lipstick is smudged just enough. Not obvious, but if you ever used Google Photos zoom you can’t unsee it. You can choose to confront her or act like a doormat. I tried both. Honestly, neither path makes you feel like a hero. Which is good. Or bad. Depends on how much you enjoy self‑insert suffering. There is romance mixed in, not some flowers and chocolate thing, more like those quiet moments when she sits on your lap, apologizing, and you know she’s hiding shit, yet you still grab her hips because that ass is ridiculous. The humiliation is slow burn: tiny cracks in trust, neighbors maybe hearing things through the wall, your line messages left on “read” while she “works late”. Sex scenes reward you, but they also kind of punish you. When the AI art goes extra on her curves while the text reminds you she might have been touched by someone else half an hour ago, your dick and your ethics go into open conflict.

On phone it runs smooth enough, though the UI sometimes hides buttons behind my stupid fat thumb and I got stuck in a menu once and rage‑tapped like an idiot. The simulator feeling comes from all the routine: chat logs, little money choices, scheduling when she visits Kuroda again. I wish there were more small domestic moments, like brushing teeth together, but instead you get repeated CG angles and that one underwear set that appears so often it should have its own Twitter account. Also the auto mode is too fast and too slow at the same time, somehow. What I really liked is how it plays with cheating. It’s not just “she cheats, you cry, game over”. It keeps asking how much you participate in her fall. Do you push her toward “helping” him because you’re naive, or because you secretly want to see how far she goes? There’s one late scene where she texts you that she’ll be “a bit late” and you can reply something supportive or jealous. No matter what you pick, it hurts in a different flavor. That’s the moment the game stops being about Kuroda and starts being about how disgusting desire can be when mixed with love. And also, again, that ass in those tight skirts. Honestly, the romance is kind of beautiful. And totally fucked. Both things can be true.

Miserable salaryman with busted knuckles and dead eyes, that is where this thing starts. Guy was an MMA monster before, now he just rots in a cubicle, scrolling on his phone in the toilet, pretending to reply to emails while actually checking sex apps and watching pirate cosplay porn on Xvideos. Then out of nowhere, his old violence gets dragged back into the open and suddenly he is doing turn based combat in alleys and warzones instead of turn based meetings. It feels like some weird mix of One Piece fanfic, hentai trainer game, and midlife crisis simulator. One moment he is negotiating combat contracts with a cold mercenary boss, the next he is getting a titfuck from a drunk milf in a motel who has a maid uniform stuffed in her handbag for "work". The game just throws you into this mercenary underworld where everyone smiles like they know you are about to screw up your life, and it lets you manage that screw up day by day like some scuffed sandbox romance management sim that also really wants to show you ahegao.

The wild part is how much of the erotic stuff is glued directly onto the systems. You are not just picking “sex scene 1, 2, 3” from a menu. You do a mission for this pirate-inspired babe who is totally not Boa Hancock but obviously is, and if you mess up the combat, you still get a scene, but it is her sitting on your chest, calling you useless while she strokes you with just two fingers through your pants, slow teasing, no release, then she goes to fuck some higher-ranked merc behind a half-open door and you have to watch. That voyeurism thing hurts way more because it is your fault from earlier in the turn based fight where you tried to go full damage instead of guarding. When you get it right though, she climbs on your lap on the ship deck, half cosplay, half uniform, big tits bouncing, giving deep oral while complaining about your “no plan brain,” and if you choose the corruption options, she starts asking you to choke her and spit on her and eventually lets you creampie her ass while she wears that silly maid headband like it is the most normal thing. I actually laughed when the game let me switch from romantic “are you okay?” to “bend over the table” in the same phone chat log, like some unhinged dating sim.

There is also this whole NTR side that sneaks up. At first you think it is standard harem fantasy, you collect women like pirate bounty posters, from Nico-looking archaeologist type to serious older milf with big ass who runs a maid cafe as cover, and some android sex robot girl who is way too honest in her chat replies. But then the merc leader, this calm bastard, starts “helping” you train. You send one girl to work a side mission, the management screen shows she is "recovering," and later you catch a short animated scene where she is in his office, blouse open, him groping her while she is blushing, saying she only does this to get extra supplies for your squad. The game does not scream NTR at you, it just quietly lets it sit there in the log, like, yeah, she is technically still your girl, but is she? You can corrupt them in your direction too, sure, like putting the shy virgin into a maid uniform and having her kneel between your legs after a successful op, drool running down her chin during a messy blowjob, or making her use sex toys on herself in the shower while you watch from the door. But that little chance that someone else is also touching her, or that she will send you a phone selfie from a bathroom where you notice a man’s hand in the corner, gives the whole harem this dirty, unstable feeling. The game is horny as hell, full of anal, creampies, groping, vanilla sex mixed with BDSM edges, but it always ties it back to your role as this broken ex-fighter trying to control something in a world where even your own women might be getting fucked by someone stronger. And yeah, the AI CG sometimes looks a bit off, like one frame her boobs are too round or a hand is in a weird angle, but honestly, when Nico Robin lookalike is riding you in a maid cafe backroom, tongue out in full ahegao while you grip her hips and slam up into her, you will not care at all.