Our ex-wayfinder girl is bored out of her skull, and honestly I felt that in my bones. She already saved her island, she did the big heroic stuff, now she’s stuck in chief role like some overworked office manager with tits. Meetings, problems, more meetings. No sea, no adventure, no danger, no orgasms. So she bails on the “responsible leader” life and goes hunting for Maui again, because who else is dumb and horny enough to show her how to be more than human. He promises to teach her how to become a demigod, but half of his “lessons” are him finding excuses to get his hands on her ass, her mouth, whatever part is closest. It starts “innocent”, like physical training, stretching, massages, then suddenly his cock is out and she’s kneeling there trying to remember if this was part of the ritual or not. Spoiler: it always is.

The game is a sandbox thing, but not that messy kind where you get lost in menus for two hours. You wander around the island, poke your nose where you shouldn’t, play dumb minigames to earn shells, buy outfits that are basically just different excuses to show more underboob. There is actual customization, not super deep, but enough that I spent way too long deciding if she looks sluttier with loose hair or with it tied back while she’s giving a sloppy blowjob to a “sacred” monster. Maui keeps setting up “trials” that are basically porn scenes dressed up like spiritual training. One time he tells her she has to “calm the raging beast” inside a cave, and it turns out to be some horny creature who only relaxes when she lets it grope her and fuck her between those big brown thighs. He just leans on his hook outside like a smug bastard, listening to her moan echo through the rocks and calling it “progress”. The parody vibe is thick, but it doesn’t feel like mocking her, more like the world itself is trying to drag her from hero to high-class slut and she kinda likes it. There are scenes with her learning “oral techniques” where he times her with some totally fake demigod challenge, and if you fail the minigame he just laughs and tells you to try again with his dick already twitching. Sometimes she pushes back, sometimes she teases him first. There is lesbian stuff too, with another girl who helps her practice “sensual skills” before she faces another “trial”, and that part actually surprised me because it felt a bit softer, more curious, like she’s testing out how far she wants to go with her own desire, not just following Maui’s orders. Then five minutes later she’s riding him in some cosplay outfit that looks like it came from a Wish version of her old explorer clothes, tits bouncing, talking about “earning her godhood” while he grabs her big ass with both hands. It’s messy and horny and sometimes a little awkward in a way that actually fits, like a hentai fan project that grew bigger than expected and never stopped being a bit unhinged. The teasing is constant, even during normal walking around: NPCs react to what she’s wearing, you get called out for showing too much skin, and then there is a scene where she’s drunk on “magic nectar” and ends up doing a slow, clumsy strip in front of someone who was definitely not supposed to see her like that, and I still keep thinking about that one more than the huge monster sex. Not sure what that says about me. Or her. Or Maui. Probably all three.

Clark’s life in this game is basically every lonely porn-addicted loser fantasy smashed into a superhero comic and then left out in the sun too long. You’re this awkward Kansas kid with the “oh wow I’m an alien” thing going on, except instead of just saving cats from trees you’re trying not to fuck your whole hometown, literally and morally. One minute you’re clicking through boring school halls, pretending to be normal, the next you’re peeling back the small-town vibe and finding meteor freaks, MILFs with secrets, and people who really should not be that horny during an alien crisis. The story does that thing where it pretends you have your life under control, then throws you into some pov scene where a woman twice your age is grinding on top of you and you’re thinking, “Yeah, the universe is doomed, but this is worth it.”

The visual style is AI generated but it kind of fits the whole off-brand superhero parody mood. Faces are a bit too perfect sometimes, like Instagram filters got horny and never stopped, but the bodies, man. Tight costumes that look like they’re about to rip, soft thighs pressed together on a teacher’s chair, that stretched look when you push in deep and the belly shows a little bulge. The creampie shots are surprisingly dirty in a good way: cloudy mess dripping down, panties pushed aside, that moment where she bites her lip and you already clicked too fast but you still stare at the screen like an idiot. There’s a scene in a locker room where you’re supposed to interrogate someone, but I spent longer just clicking around the background, watching how the camera plays with pov angles, like the game knows you’re not here for the “investigation.” It calls itself a point and click and yeah, technically, but really it’s “point at who you wanna ruin and click until your mouse is sticky.”

What actually got me hooked was how your powers keep crashing into your dick. You’re supposed to be this rising hero, but half the time the “dark alter-ego” side feels more honest than the goody-two-shoes act. You’ll be in some tense meteor-related situation, and the choice is literally: save someone properly, or push them up against a wall and pound them while the sky glows outside. The game doesn’t pretend that domination is nice or clean either. There are moments where you grab her hair, force her to look at you while you’re buried inside, and the text is like, “You know this isn’t who you want to be,” while you immediately click “go harder” because self-control is for people not opening porn tabs in Chrome. It’s horny, messy, sometimes weirdly romantic when Clark accidentally says something soft after filling someone up, but you just know he’s going to screw it all up again five clicks later. Honestly, it feels a bit like my love life, if I had superpowers and people actually wanted to fuck me.

Thieves of Dingirra feels like somebody smashed a horny VN, a chill management game and a messy RPG party together, then left it on the table with a “do crimes, fuck everyone” note. You start as this sneaky bastard, the Master Thief, dropped into a city that already smells like sex and trouble, and your job is to turn a tiny gang of nobodies into the dirtiest, richest thieves guild in town. The city is split in quarters and you stare at the map thinking “ok, I’ll just send a couple idiots to pickpocket here” and suddenly you’re juggling turf wars, bribes, and who you want to bend over next. I had Chrome open with like 10 tabs, Discord pinging, Pornhub paused on another monitor, but my attention kept sliding back to “ok, one more heist, then I’ll go to sleep”. Lies, obviously.

The character creation is what hooked me too hard. You can go full male, full female, or play around with it, and the game actually reacts to what you are trying to be. I started as a cocky male thief and somehow ended up building a crew where half my lieutenants wanted to ride me, the other half wanted to rob me, and a few wanted both in the same night. You get flirty banter that slowly turns filthy: one moment you are discussing guard patrols, next moment a monster girl with horns and a tail is on her knees, tongue out, talking about “payment in kind”. The lesbian scenes caught me by surprise, in a good way. Two of the women in my guild had this slow burn thing going on, lots of snark and eye contact when I assigned missions, and when it finally blew up into a proper sex scene it was just them going down on each other in a dusty hideout, muffled moans so the guards outside don’t hear. It feels dirty in that very specific “we should not be doing this here” way. And the game is equal-opportunity filthy, you can go for guys too, get your cock sucked in some back alley deal, or slide into a more tender thing that actually has romance vibes instead of just “ok, next hole”.

The furry stuff is there, and it is not shy. The first time I took a contract from this local monster girl “fixer”, I thought it was just another contact on the map. Then I clicked through her scenes and she’s this smug cat-eared thief who steals your loot, then basically pushes you against a wall and starts grinding on your thigh while teasing you about being “too soft for Dingirra”. I picked a dialogue option that was supposed to be threatening and it just made her more turned on. Later, when the guild was big and I was trying to min-max my income per quarter, I had this stupid moment where I was staring at numbers and suddenly remembered “oh right, last time I met her she swallowed my cum in an alley and licked her paws clean like it was wine”. The game keeps mixing that: one second you’re tweaking risk levels on a job, next second you’re in a detailed blowjob scene, hearing how your partner tries to talk with your dick in their mouth. Vaginal stuff is just as graphic, with a lot of focus on how risky it is to be fucking in the middle of criminal operations. You’re banging a female thief on top of a desk piled with stolen letters, papers sticking to her sweaty back while she rides you, and she’s half laughing, half begging you to cum inside before the patrol makes its round. It’s hot and also stupid, which is kind of perfect for this setting.

At the same time the strategy side weirdly matters. You send squads on missions, adjust heat, build up control in each neighborhood, and the better you treat people, the more their personal stories open up. Some of those stories are pretty soft, almost like romance VN stuff, and then suddenly they go from “my tragic past” to “I want your tongue between my legs, right now”. I liked that, even if sometimes I just wanted to skip to the sex and the game made me read three extra lines about politics. One guy in my crew kept talking about family honor and I honestly don’t remember half of it, but I do remember the scene where he pushed me onto the bed after a successful raid, still half dressed in armor, and fucked me so hard the headboard hit the wall. There was this dumb little animation of text describing how his thrusts got rougher and I was sitting there thinking, yeah ok, this is better than whatever was on Netflix tonight. There is one UI sound that drives me crazy though, this click when you confirm some tasks, I hated it from the first minute and never got used to it, and I’m still annoyed about that and I don’t even know why. The city keeps opening up, different factions, different monsters and humans and in-between, and every time you think “ok, that’s enough kinks” the game quietly drops another option in your lap and asks if you’d like to suck it.

You open your eyes in a garden that’s way too pretty for how fucked up you feel. You remember dying… kind of. It’s fuzzy, like that morning after too much vodka when you’re checking your phone and praying you didn’t text your ex. Except now the “ex” is literally your life, and instead of hangover you get a smug angel, a smug demon, and a bunch of confused hot dead people who all like girls, guys, both, neither, or “it’s complicated” in different flavors. They tell you this isn’t Heaven, not Hell, just the Garden hanging out in Limbo, like some cosmic waiting room where everyone’s bisexual or worse. You’re told you can pick your body and gender, like character creation but with the weight of “what the fuck am I actually” behind it. Female, male, futa, trans, something in between, something off to the side. The game doesn’t blink. You can just… exist the way you wish you had when you were alive. That alone hit harder than some porn games ever will, honestly. Then five minutes later you’re flirting with a demon girl who looks like she can ruin your life and you’re fine with it.

What really sticks in my head is how one scene goes from tender to horny to sad so fast it feels wrong, in a good way. You’re sitting under this glowing tree with another lost soul, talking about what you regret from your life. They’re quietly telling you about the first time they realized they liked girls, how they kissed a friend behind a church, shaking and happy and terrified. The garden lights reflect in their eyes, they lean closer, and your choices appear. You can joke it away, you can pull them into this slow, nervous kiss, or you can go full thirsty and grab their hips and push them against the tree. If you go thirsty, the way the writing describes hands sliding over still unfamiliar bodies, the awkward “is this okay” mixed with raw need, feels more real than half the polished porn out there. It’s not just “and then boobs appeared, wow.” It’s messy, people hesitate, someone laughs at the wrong time, it reads like two queer disasters horny in Limbo who never got to be honest when they were alive, so now they’re making up for it in one go. There’s even a moment where they say “I never had sex like this when I was alive” and you can answer “me neither” or pretend you were a huge player. Which is funny, because the game will totally call you out later on that lie.

In between the horny stuff, you’re doing trials, talking to angels that act like burnt-out office workers, demons who act like they run a queer nightclub, and other dead people trying to figure out if Heaven is worth the rules, Hell is worth the chaos, or if Limbo is secretly the best place because nobody really knows what the fuck is happening anyway. Sometimes the tone whiplash gets tiring, like you’ll go from heartfelt talk about dysphoria to a gag about someone’s ass in two lines and it almost kills the mood. There are parts where the pacing drags, especially when a character dumps lore on you about how Eden ended up stuck here and you just wanna go back to worrying if that cute trans boy is into you or only into your “tragic backstory.” But then later, one small choice from an earlier date suddenly changes how a big late scene plays out and you realize oh, okay, it was paying attention the whole time. There are multiple routes and endings, you can flirt with women, men, futas, trans characters, some are soft, some are monsters in a sexy way, some are just emotionally unavailable but so hot you try anyway. It’s not afraid to be horny, but it also doesn’t treat sex like the only reward. Sometimes you get a tender cuddle in the afterlife instead of a full-on scene, and weirdly that feels more intimate. Still, I got annoyed that one character keeps mentioning some specific snack from when they were alive and you never actually see it anywhere. No CG, nothing. That bothered me a lot more than it should have. Anyway, it all feels like a queer afterlife dating mess where you can be a lesbian, a dude, a trans futa, whatever, and still end up kissing under a divine tree while arguing about whether Heaven even deserves you.