You start as this cocky "hero", all armor, big sword and bigger ego, and then the game just throws you into a dungeon where every single enemy wants to fuck that confidence right out of you. Literally. First fight, I thought I was playing some normal turn based thing, picking attack, defend, whatever. Then the girl I was fighting just dropped her top mid battle, the combat log changed, and suddenly my hit chance went down because my dude was getting too horny to think straight. Yeah, that kind of game. You’re supposed to chase high score, but half the time you’re just fighting your own hard-on and trying not to let your sanity bar melt while a futa demon is grinding on your face and asking if you "really want to win, or if you want to moan". By the way, I clicked moan. Just for research.

What sells it is how it mixes this horny fantasy dungeon thing with real pornstar faces, like you’re fighting some succubus and recognize her from that one video you totally didn’t watch on xvideos last week. Some girls keep it playful, they tease, lick you, lots of oral stuff mid fight, just edging you while you try to squeeze in one more attack. Others go straight full dom on you, pin you, ride you raw, talk shit while draining your sanity every turn with anal or deepthroat or whatever they feel like. You see the icons, you know what’s coming, and still you waste your turn choosing "resist" like an idiot when you could just lean into being a sex toy. There is prostitution too, kind of funny, because you think you’re the mighty hero, then two bad runs later you’re broke and suddenly you’re the one selling your body at some shady tavern to get enough gold for better gear. Or maybe you just keep whoring because watching your "legend" slowly slide into being a well used cumdump is way too entertaining. I got stuck at one point with this overpowered futa knight who kept forcing my character to worship her cock every time I lost. I swear she showed up three runs in a row. That RNG is cursed. Or blessed. Depends how you like your fantasy.

And yeah, the combat is turn based, but the sex scenes sneak right into it instead of feeling like separate porn clips. You miss a hit, she laughs, grabs your hair, shoves your head between her legs. You defend too much, she calls you a coward, rides your face as a "punishment". There’s this one vampire chick that only attacks by draining you with slow, grinding vaginal sex, and at first it’s hot, then you realize your sanity is dripping away and you still have three floors left before the boss. It’s dumb, horny, sometimes cruel, and every loss turns into a long humiliation sequence where your hero gets broken in like a good little whore. The game keeps asking if you’ll become a legend or a slave, but honestly, after a few runs, you stop pretending. You pick the options that feel the dirtiest, you let them choke you, spit on you, fill every hole, and you watch the score climb while your dignity just vanishes somewhere between "tease" and "submit". I’m still annoyed the moan sound is like half a second too loud compared to the rest, by the way. No reason. Just pisses me off every single time it pops.

A horny little mess of a game, but in a good way. You start as this very not-heroic guy poking around a warped version of old Greece that looks like someone mashed up a horny mythology book and a Justice League fanfic on Reddit. One minute you’re talking about gods and temples, next minute you’ve got Wonder Woman chained up in what is basically your private sex dungeon, pretending this is all part of some “grand plan.” It pretends to be about strategy and influence, but honestly it’s mostly about how fast you can turn heroines into obedient toys while the game smiles at you like, “yeah, you’re the bad guy, and?” That tone really worked for me. The story acts serious for like three lines, then you’re lining up an anal scene with a legendary amazon and it forgets all about morals.

On phone it actually feels weirdly natural, like a horny text sim that got out of hand. You’re in this loose sandbox where you juggle money, reputation, and girls you’ve broken, and you hop between locations: some temple here, some shady base there, maybe a seedy alley where you catch your next victim in costume. There was this moment where I dragged a certain famous amazon down from her pedestal, literally, by stripping her piece by piece while she still tried to talk about justice. First she’s spitting insults, then your hand is in her hair and she’s on her knees swallowing your cock like she owes you back pay. The transition from proud warrior to cock sleeve feels slow in a good way, but suddenly you’re hitting “titfuck” and “creampie” options and wondering how the hell you got here so fast. And the game doesn’t explain half the mechanics. I just clicked things until she went from “I’ll kill you” to “yes, master” and somehow that felt right for this kind of parody. There’s one tiny UI icon in the corner that keeps wiggling and I still don’t know what it does. I hate it. I will never look it up.

What surprised me most is how often the scenes escalate without repeating the same boring porn beats. One time I forced an amazon to do a slow, humiliating strip in a dusty Greek hall, torches on the walls, her armor dropping one piece at a time. You can choose to just watch and jerk off like some lazy god, or you can walk up, grab her wrists, and turn it into a rough handjob against a pillar while she tries not to moan. Another run I focused more on oral stuff, pushing Wonder Woman to “serve” you on command, mouth open, cum dripping down her chin while she keeps her crown on, like a twisted homage to her superhero look. There’s vaginal, anal, the usual menu, but the fun part is when you mix it with the slavery aspect. Order her to clean up your mess with her tongue after a creampie, then send her back out pretending to still be a champion of justice. The game keeps tossing little sandbox hooks at you, like “send this heroine to work” or “keep her in the cell,” and sometimes nothing happens, sometimes you come back and she’s masturbating in her chains because you broke her too far. Also, the sound is almost nothing and I still wish there was just a tiny sloppy blowjob noise, but whatever, it’s not changing. At least it lets you be a complete bastard in this fake Greek parody world and nobody opens a moral speech balloon over your head.

Guy gets fried by lightning on the way from his boring office job and wakes up as the new dark overlord. Sounds badass, right? It actually feels more like getting dumped into horny hell with a to-do list. You’ve got a demon castle, a bunch of monster girls who either want to serve you, ruin you, or sit on your face, and a curse inside your body that randomly flares up like the worst horny migraine ever. One moment you’re checking resource numbers and troop morale, next second your vision goes blurry, your body heats up, and you’re pinning a monster girl to the wall, pounding her while she’s got that full ahegao face, drool hanging, tongue out, eyes rolled. The game doesn’t fade to black, it goes all in. Animated sex scenes, hips actually moving, tits bouncing, ropes tightening, soft moans turning into straight up screaming when you decide to go rough. I keep pausing to capture the best frames into GIFs, then going back because I miss whole animations. It’s stupid how many times I rewound one anal scene with a slimy tentacle girl wrapping around the hero like a hentai octopus hug.

What I didn’t expect is how the management and rpg stuff keeps baiting you into lewd trouble. You open the map just to plan some combat, then some “innocent” patrol report pops up with a busty orc girl who “failed her mission” and now needs punishment. You can humiliate her in the throne room, bend her over the steps, slap that big ass until it jiggles, then decide if you’re fucking her like a toy in front of frightened underlings or actually comforting her with slower vaginal sex. Both still end with her broken, panting, eyes blank. Or that virgin elf mage you recruit, acting all pure and holy, but the first time the curse really bites you in front of her, you lose control, shove her against a bookshelf, tear her clothes and fuck her until she’s drooling and begging you to corrupt her more. She goes from “please, dark lord, control yourself” to “don’t stop, use my mouth too” really fast. There is some light combat, yeah, you smack monsters around, get loot, level up, but it mostly just feels like foreplay to unlock new positions, toys, and kinks. The bdsm scenes surprised me. Ropes look tight, skin goes a little red if you keep spanking, chains rattle when she tries to squirm away, and there’s this humiliation angle where you make monster girls lick your boots first, then your cock right after. It hits that fantasy of being absolute bastard overlord, even though the guy is still kind of clueless office worker inside, panicking in his own thoughts while his body is happily choking a girl with his dick. Honestly, the small UI sounds are too loud on mobile and it annoys me every damn time I adjust volume, but then the next scene has a monster girl choking on your cock with tears in her eyes and you kinda forget everything.

I didn’t expect to laugh this much during what’s basically a porn game about rebuilding civilization with your dick, but here we are. “Dickcare” doesn’t even pretend to have subtlety, which somehow makes it better. It’s like the dev looked at every crossover hentai fantasy - Velma squinting behind foggy glasses, Raven pretending she’s not into it, Tatsumaki rolling her eyes while secretly moaning - and said, yeah, let’s just throw them all in one ruined world and call it salvation. The writing’s half self-aware and half deranged sincerity; the voice lines swing between awkwardly horny and genuinely funny. There’s one scene with Frankie in a busted gym locker room that made me pause, not because it was hot (though it is), but because she calls you “hero” in this weird soft tone right before things get messy. It stays in your head longer than expected.

What’s wild is how much *sound* adds to everything. You can tell someone cared about the way a zipper slides down or the slap echoing off concrete walls. The sandbox part? Looser than it sounds. You wander, talk, get distracted by some zombie side plot that doesn’t matter, and suddenly Velma’s stuck halfway through a ventilation shaft. It’s ridiculous, yeah, but also... kind of perfect. There’s no grind, no fake moral choice. Just dirty, absurd freedom. Though, I swear one moaning loop cuts off too early - it’s such a small glitch but now I obsess over it. Maybe that’s the point: perfection would ruin the charm.

It’s funny how a game full of cum jokes and cartoon parodies ends up feeling more alive than most serious stuff. Maybe because it doesn’t care if you take it seriously. One minute you’re saving humanity, next you’re wiping something off Raven’s cape while she pretends not to blush. If there were awards for “Most Unnecessarily Emotional Cum Scene,” this one wins without competition.