I swear this game started like a joke. I opened it expecting some lazy swipe-right simulator with recycled anime faces, but it slapped me with this weird mix of horny sincerity and unhinged chaos. The first match I got wasn’t even hot at first glance - looked like someone’s OC from a forgotten DeviantArt page - but ten minutes later I was reading her chat logs like they were gospel. The writing flirts between cringe and genius. Sometimes she’ll tease you with a line that sounds like it came from a bad fanfic, then follow it with something so filthy it short-circuits your brain. I caught myself grinning like an idiot. That’s embarrassing to admit, but whatever.

There’s this rhythm to it, like the devs knew exactly how long to keep you waiting before dropping the next explicit scene. Not that the pacing’s perfect - half the time I was yelling at my phone because the dialogue wheel bugged out or the transitions froze mid-thrust (yeah, that happened). But when it works, it *really* works. The futa characters all have that exaggerated anatomy thing going on - huge everything - but it’s not just about size. There’s personality behind it, like each one’s got a story that’s been fermenting in some dark corner of the internet for years. You can tell someone poured way too much love into making sure the teasing feels personal. It’s messy, sure, but that’s kind of the charm.

The weirdest part? The game pretends to be about romance, but it’s really about control. You think you’re choosing dialogue options, but half the time the girls are steering you like a toy. There’s a scene with a rooftop confession that spirals into something obscene so fast I actually laughed out loud. It shouldn’t work. It does. And yet, I still hate that the text font looks like something from a 2009 flash game. Why is that what sticks with me? Maybe because everything else feels too alive, too raw, like it shouldn’t even be on a phone screen.

Temptation’s Ballad feels like someone took a horny D&D session, removed the shy players, pumped the bard full of slutty energy and then forgot to write a safe word. You start in this medieval fantasy city that pretends to be serious with demons and noble houses and gods and whatever, but the game is very honest about what actually matters: who you’re going to fuck, how badly you’re going to mess up your party’s reputation, and how much property damage your dick (or tits) indirectly causes. It calls itself “fairly linear” but it doesn’t feel stiff. More like a drunk march in one direction where you keep getting distracted by a hot ass in the alley, some half‑clothed monster girl in a tavern, or a noble milf who really needs “help” with her magic circle. One moment you’re trying to act like a real hero, the next you’re getting your face sat on by a smug futa demon who treats you like her favorite chew toy. The story leans on the classic trio of idiots party setup: disaster gay, smug bastard, and something in between that definitely should not be trusted around potions. Their banter is half the fun, because they talk like actual horny people who overshare, tease, flirt too hard, then pretend it was “just a joke” while obviously staring at each other’s bulges. There’s real romance in there, surprisingly soft sometimes, and the game just throws it next to scenes where someone is getting spanked in a backroom while a voyeur peeks through the cracks. It shouldn’t work together, but it does, like putting lube on holy water.

The erotic tone is really on that line between silly and nasty. You get all the classic stuff: sloppy oral, tits used like they’re religious objects, thick cocks that clearly don’t follow standard fantasy anatomy rules, creampies that would absolutely require healing spells after. The city of Axia feels like a sandbox for kinks, even if the main plot is straight like an arrow. You’ll walk into a side scene thinking “okay, just dialogue” and suddenly there is a dommy knight stepping on someone’s chest, or a monster girl wrapping a tail around a guy’s throat while riding him. There’s casual interracial stuff, big black cock jokes thrown in like shitposts, and netorare tension playing in the background when someone’s crush gets a little too cozy with a rival. The game never stops to politely explain corruption or cheating either, it just lets you sit there with that ugly horny feeling in your chest while a character moans another person’s name. Sometimes the pacing is a mess and a really nice emotional beat gets bulldozed by a sex scene with way too much groping and not enough build up, like the writer was afraid to let you breathe. I kinda hate that. I also kinda love it. The soundtrack is the quiet hero here, by the way. Fantasy tavern strings and flutes that slide into slow, bass‑heavy, low‑tempo tracks when clothes start coming off, the kind of music that makes you turn down your volume on Discord because you know exactly what you’re doing. There’s even this one track that loops during a teasing scene where a character keeps grinding on your lap but “won’t let you cum yet” and the rhythm matches the fucking text speed. That little sync made me laugh and then immediately shut up because it actually turned me on. It’s not a classy game. It doesn’t want to be. It’s messy, loud, horny, too obsessed with big boobs and bigger problems, and Axia feels like a place where every summer vacation ends with someone pregnant, corrupted, or tied to a bed. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

Astra is exactly that kind of heroine who looks like she belongs in some stiff royal propaganda painting, then opens her mouth and talks like a horny theatre kid who just discovered freedom and lube at the same time. She bolts from her golden cage, lands on this supposedly “remote” island that feels more like a traveling circus mixed with a cabaret and a burlesque tent, and just decides, yeah, I’m a performer now, and also I’m going to fuck whoever catches my eye. The game leans really hard into this traveling-show vibe: backstage drama, improvised acts, horny fans, jealous partners, that awkward moment when your “public performance” accidentally turns way too literal because the monster girl with the big tits misheard the stage direction. There’s this one scene where Astra is trying to rehearse something serious, like political speech level serious, and suddenly the script turns into a dirty poem about her ass halfway through, because of a text mini-game that you kind of flubbed. And she just rolls with it. The crowd goes wild. She blushes, then doubles down and starts describing how she wants to ride a furry mercenary in front of everyone. That’s kind of the whole tone: messy, horny, and surprisingly self-aware about what it is.

What I really enjoyed, as a language nerd, is how the erotic dialogue is half elegant, half absolute trash in the best way. You have Astra saying stuff like “I renounce the crown, I choose my own pleasure” right before she’s getting railed by some huge monster with too many muscles and just enough manners to ask where he can finish. There’s a lot of fun with code switching: royal talk during foreplay, then she drops into full slut mode once the clothes fly off. Some lines clearly came from someone thinking in another language first, which I like a lot. You get these slightly weird metaphors like “your cock is beating at my entrance like a war drum” and it accidentally hits way harder than generic porn talk. The animated sex scenes match that vibe: they’re not trying to be super realistic, they’re just hungry, kinda theatrical. Astra has this enormous ass that the camera absolutely worships, and the game knows very well why half the people are here. The furry designs go all in on curves and fluff, especially when monster girls show up and start comparing whose tits are heavier while you’re deciding which one to help “warm up” before the show. There is one annoying thing: sometimes the choice-heavy system pretends you have ten paths, but a couple times it loops you back to the same scene, like the game’s winking at you and saying yeah, you’re fucking the princess anyway, stop pretending you want to be pure. I wish some of the combat bits mattered more for the sex outcomes, but whatever, I’m already too busy replaying the scene where Astra taunts a pissed-off marquis in full costume, then kneels in front of a “monster” on stage and sucks him off as political theatre while the crowd roars like this is the new constitution.

You start as this kinda broke dude just wandering the city, checking your phone way too much and pretending everything’s fine while you’re basically one missed payment from sleeping in the alley. Then a friend hits you with “hey, I need a favor” and suddenly you’re neck deep in horny zodiac bullshit and monster girls who are way out of your league. It feels like a dating app got drunk, fucked a horoscope site, and then the baby decided to be a sex sim. One moment you’re trying to be smooth with some tall Leo girl with big tits hanging out of her top like they’re about to apply for citizenship, and the next you’re answering weird personal questions from a cold Scorpio type who looks like she might peg you just to see if you cry. The flirting isn’t just click line, get sex. Sometimes you say the “right” thing and she actually gets pissed, leaves you blueballed with a half-open bra and you’re just sitting there like, did I seriously lose anal because I picked the wrong snack option.

What I really liked is how shameless the game is about the sex and also about humiliating you. One monster girl just straight up treats you like a toy, makes you follow her around shops while she’s basically showing off her ass and boobs to every NPC, and you can’t do shit except carry bags and get teased. Her dialogue stuck in my head, that line where she calls you “good boy wallet” before shoving your face between her tits on the street, people watching, and you feel like trash but also you don’t want it to stop. There’s exhibition stuff everywhere, like public blowjob scenes where you can decide to be a coward and hide, or let her keep sucking while a cop walks by and pretends not to see. Sometimes your choices just unlock extra dirty versions of scenes, like normal vaginal sex turning into “oh by the way I’m futa, put that cock in your mouth first” and you didn’t exactly sign up for it but you kinda did. The futa girls hit different here, not just “oh look, extra dick”, more like they’re playing with you, making you choose who gets the creampie, front or back, and there’s a line where one of them laughs at you for cumming too fast inside her ass, telling you she’s had better from a vibrator.

The whole money system is stupid in a good way. You grind little jobs, get a bit of cash, then immediately waste it on toys like vibrators, ropes, plugs, collars, all that shit you swear you’re “just testing”. Some scenes change if you actually bring the toy, like instead of simple oral she’s choking on your cock while you push a toy into her pussy and she’s moaning about how she’ll squirt in front of the window if you don’t stop. Or you show up broke and she just laughs and uses you as her stress relief, riding your face, not even letting you fuck her properly because “poor boys don’t get pussy, only work”. The romance is there, but it’s messy. One girl actually gets soft and cuddly after you creampie her, talking about destiny and signs, and then later she ghosts you for three in game days and you find her grinding on some other monster girl in a club. Sometimes the game feels romantic, like a real dating sim with texting and picking gifts, and sometimes it just punches you in the dick with a futa dom scene where you’re bent over and wondering how the hell you got here from buying coffee. It’s chaotic, horny, kind of mean, and the AI-style art gives everything this weird dreamy porn vibe where the big asses and big tits look almost too perfect, like you’re imagining it after jerking off on your phone for too long. Honestly I love it, and also it kinda pisses me off, which is probably the point.