RuleUniverse feels like someone mashed Dragon Ball fanfiction, horny Twitter art and a half-finished Ren’Py project, then accidentally made it kind of addictive. You start as this lonely overachiever kid that reads like every shonen protagonist in history, then a demon scientist pops up and says, “hey, let’s stuff your body with DNA from the strongest fighters in the universe, what could go wrong.” It’s delightfully stupid in that fanfic way, but precisely because of that, it works. The game knows it’s a parody, it doesn’t try to pretend it’s “deep”, and then it suddenly throws in a line about destiny or guiding the universe and you’re like… alright, Toriyama-with-horny-mods, calm down.

The real fun is how transparently it worships its women. Bulma, Chi-Chi, Android 18, that whole legendary boob-and-ass pantheon is here, clearly shaped by someone who grew up pausing VHS at the worst places. The models are 3D and exaggerated as hell: huge tits, fat asses, those shiny anime lips that just scream “she’s going to suck him off in like two clicks.” Animated scenes actually move, not just two stiff characters rubbing like broken Sims; you get thrusting, jiggling, drool, that soft spit string when you pull out from a blowjob, all the little pervy details that tell you the dev really wanted this for themselves first. One moment you’re doing basic combat with ki blasts and energy auras, the next you’re balls-deep in Bulma in a lab, with wires and science junk in the background like that somehow makes it ethical. And the combat’s funny: it pretends to be serious, but all you’re thinking is “okay, how many fights until I unlock the next sex scene with Android 18.” Sometimes the sandbox part feels less like a “world” and more like a small playground with a fence around it, but the loops of walking around, clicking, triggering small events, slowly unlocking more lewd stuff… it scratched that same spot as old flash games I used to sneak at school on shitty browsers.

I kinda love how messy it is. The romance tries to act sentimental for a second, then five lines later you’re face-fucking a milf with magic powers while she moans like someone recorded it in a bathroom on a cheap mic. Dialog swings from “I will guide the universe” to “fuck me harder” without the slightest shame. Exploration is simple, a little repetitive, but I still kept wandering, poking every corner hoping there’s a hidden event where Chi-Chi finally snaps and rides the protagonist like he’s the last Saiyan on earth. Some text sounds like it was written at midnight by a dude half-remembering DBZ arcs from YouTube AMVs, which, honestly, is the right energy. I do wish the world reacted more to what you do, like if you bang Bulma enough, Vegeta starts showing up mad or something, but I know that kind of feature is exactly the thing that stays in the dev’s “maybe later” notes forever. Still, when you’re watching Android 18 slowly drop to her knees after you save her in a fight and she rewards you with this sloppy, animated blowjob, with her tits barely contained and that quiet smug smile when she swallows, it hits the trashy, horny, teen-power-fantasy nerve in a very specific way. It’s not elegant. It’s not smart. It’s like a wet doujin turned half-game, half-daydream, and somehow that’s exactly why it sticks.

You show up in this new town with one bag, no real plan, and parents who basically dumped you on your dad’s coworker and fucked off to chase promotions. The house you land in is way too nice for some “temporary stay”. Big quiet place, smells like coffee and perfume in the morning, and the woman greeting you at the door is exactly the kind of older neighbor porn sites have been shoving in your face since high school. She’s polite, sweet, talks like she’s worried you’ll be bored, but every time she turns around those ridiculous tits are fighting for their life inside her shirt and you already know “bored” is not on the menu.

The art looks like someone grew up on old Sunday morning anime and then got horny and never recovered. It’s not perfect on the technical side, you’ll see some weird fingers here, a slightly cursed expression there, but the faces have this smug, “I know what I’m doing to you” vibe that hits harder than super polished trash. Her body is crazy: wide hips, huge ass hugging tight skirts, breasts that stretch fabric so much you kinda expect a wardrobe malfunction each scene. When she leans over the table to serve you breakfast, boobs pressed on the edge, smiling like nothing is happening, it feels almost more indecent than when she’s straight up pumping your cock with oil and giving that lazy half-lidded look. One route had her casually wiping your “mess” off her boobs with a dish towel, complaining about laundry while her cleavage is covered in cum. That moment stuck in my head way more than the big money shots. I did wish there was more build-up to some scenes, but whatever, my dick didn’t protest.

They clearly had fun with the parody angle too. There are these little nods to that blue robot cat series that obviously lawyers would hate. A familiar pocket gadget shows up as some totally-not-copyrighted toy that “helps with stress relief”, which ends up as a stupid excuse for her to test how much your cock can handle. At one point she uses a “future massage device” that looks suspiciously like something out of that show, but now it vibrates against her tits while she traps your shaft between them and pretends it’s all some accidental test. The game doesn’t overexplain it, it just drops the reference and moves on, like “yeah, we know you watched the wrong stuff at 12.” Half the time I was chuckling, half the time I was trying not to nut too fast while she’s sitting on your lap, grinding that fat ass slowly, whispering how lonely she’s been since her own kid moved out. The only thing that annoyed me was the text box sometimes covering the good parts and making me click back and forth, but I kept forgetting to adjust it because, well, huge animated tits bouncing in a slow titfuck will do that to a brain.

Aladdin finally getting to be a horny little creep in Agrabah is honestly something I didn’t know I needed until this game slapped me with it. It looks like a dumb parody at first, like some meme you’d scroll past on Reddit while half awake, but then you click one more line, one more choice, and suddenly you’re basically her royal pervert coach. Everything runs on that trainer style thing: you poke Jasmine’s limits, raise stats, push obedience, wiggle around her attitude, and every scene feels like you’re nudging the story into a slightly dirtier fork. The dev clearly watched the original movie too many times and went “yeah but what if the street rat didn’t fix his morals and instead slowly turned the most stubborn princess into his personal pet.” It’s kind of fucked up and kind of fun and my brain hates that combination.

What I liked is that it feels like one of those old choose your own adventure books I read when I was a kid, only now the page numbers lead to blowjob scenes and weird schemes in the palace instead of dragons. You try this dialogue option, she gets offended, you think you messed up, and ten minutes later that same humiliation pops back as a new kink flag and she’s suddenly blushing when you order her to strip for “training.” The writing jumps between stupid internet humor and surprisingly sharp dirty talk, like one moment the genie cracks some fourth wall crap and the next moment you’re making Jasmine crawl on all fours in her room while she pretends she still has any dignity. I wish the game tracked choices even harder, like really remembered tiny stuff from early scenes and used it to punish you later, but I know that’s never gonna happen and it annoys me every time I replay. Also the gold grind and some of the click-repeat actions feel like when you keep doomscrolling TikTok without wanting to, but here you’re just grinding obedience points while your browser has six other tabs open and Spotify is looping the same playlist for the hundredth time. It’s lazy, but I still did it.

There’s a nice corruption curve where Jasmine starts all proud and “I’m the princess of Agrabah, how dare you” and ends up with her tits out, begging for more “lessons,” and somehow the transition doesn’t feel like just a switch flip. She flinches, argues, bargains, then she starts asking weird questions, then she’s testing you back. Some scenes are surprisingly intimate, like when you train her to dance for you, not the public, and you control how rough or soft you go. Next moment you’re selling her out in some shady scenario and laughing at how this is absolutely not the Disney canon. The game doesn’t care if you’re nice or a total bastard, it just quietly adjusts the flavor of the filth. I also kept noticing small jokes in the background that made me snort, like little digs at other trainer games or fans who only care about “big boobs jasmine now.” And then there is this one little thing that drives me nuts: the way some scenes reuse the same line of reaction text, like copy paste, right when I’m most horny and focused. It’s tiny, but it pulls me out every time and I keep thinking the dev will fix it, and they just never do. Anyway, if your brain likes branching choices and your dick likes watching a spoiled princess slowly break and love it, this scratches that itch in a messy, stupid, pretty satisfying way.

Nolan’s life goes to shit in one afternoon. Fired, broke, ego crushed, he runs away to this tiny town that looks like it was ripped out of some cozy postcard, the kind of place where the loudest thing at night is a cricket and someone’s shitty truck. He just wants to drift, jerk off in peace, maybe pull himself together eventually. Instead, he walks straight into a war. A mega-corp shows up with glossy smiles and legal papers, ready to kick everyone out and drill the ground until there’s nothing left but holes and regret. And the most ridiculous part? The one thing standing between the town and total ruin is who he decides to fuck. Not metaphorically. Literally, who he puts his dick in changes the fate of everything.

Every route feels like its own little universe. One evening you’re on a rickety porch swing with the girl who pretends she doesn’t care, her shirt two sizes too small for those massive tits that bounce even when she breathes. She lights a cigarette, complains about the corporate scum, then suddenly she’s on her knees between your legs, mouthing off about “stress relief” while her lips wrap around your cock. The blowjob scene there is slow and messy, with more focus on her expression than any fancy camera bullshit. She gags, wipes spit off her chin with the back of her hand, grins like a brat, then asks you what you’re willing to sacrifice. You click a choice while your dick is still inside her throat. That’s the tone. Plot and porn stitched together so hard they start to feel the same. Another night, different path, you’re in a cramped office drowning in paperwork with the “responsible” woman. She’s got the biggest boobs in the whole game, all tightly packed into a blouse that begs for mercy. She makes you help her crunch numbers for some sneaky legal counterattack, and it’s actually kind of tense, kind of smart. Then, as a “reward,” she closes the door, climbs on your lap, pulls your cock out and presses it against herself while your hand is buried under her bra, fingers squeezing those huge, warm tits. She starts grinding, whispering in your ear about court filings and land ownership while you’re trying not to cum in your pants too early. When she finally slides you in and rides you until you creampie her on her desk, the game quietly shifts a flag in the background that changes the entire endgame strategy. It looks like a porn scene, but the script underneath is doing work.

What really sells it is how low-key rude the game is about your choices. You don’t just pick “good guy” or “asshole” from a menu. You decide whose bed you end up in, how honest you are with them, whether you pull out or fill them up, whether you help with their weird late-night problem or just jerk off alone thinking about their huge tits and fall asleep. There are several moments where the game lets you be a selfish dick in very horny ways. Like the shower scene where she’s already stroking you with soapy hands, water running over those big breasts, and you can either help her wash or just grab her head and fuck her throat until she’s choking on your cum, then pretend you didn’t notice she wanted more intimacy. That tiny click will echo much later when the town is on the edge and she suddenly trusts you less, or more, depending how you handled her. There’s a masturbation scene where Nolan imagines different futures with each woman, jerking himself off while the game quietly branches according to whose face he’s picturing when he finishes. Handjob scenes sometimes feel more loaded than full-on sex, because you’re talking about eviction notices while a soft hand is squeezing the base of your cock, thumb rubbing the tip as pre drips out, and you’re choosing dialogue options that might save or damn your neighbors. It’s horny, yes, but weirdly heavy too. Then again, nothing is really fair when your orgasm is basically a vote.