You start as this broke college guy walking into Burgmeister & Royce like you’re gonna fix your life, then the game just grabs you by the dick and drags you into absolute chaos. Classes? Technically there. But the real “curriculum” is trying not to cum in your pants every five minutes while sorority girls flash you during a stupid drinking game, your landlady “forgets” to close her bathroom door, and your so-called bros push you into shit you know your dad would beat your ass for if he saw it. It’s that filthy campus fantasy where everyone’s way too hot, way too horny, and somehow nobody ever remembers underwear exists.

The sex stuff doesn’t even wait politely. One minute you’re doing some harmless point and click around your crappy dorm room and the next you’re peeping through a slightly open door, catching twins in a lesbian makeout session that is very much not “innocent experimenting.” They drag you in if you pick the right lines and suddenly you’re in this messy tangle of tongues, fingers, one of them riding your face while the other forces your cock between her tits and laughs in your ear about how fast you’re shaking. Later you can pretend you’re a romantic guy, taking a shy virgin girl on a normal date, hand in hand, giggling, then end the night with her masturbating in your lap inside a parked car because she “isn’t ready for penetration yet” but still wants your cum all over her stomach. The game swings from sweet to downright filthy in like two clicks and never apologizes.

What surprised me is how much it leans into power stuff without making it feel like a cheap porn menu. Sometimes you’re the one groping, pulling panties down behind a bar counter while your milf boss pretends she doesn’t notice, and sometimes you end up on your knees with a dominant school queen slapping you with a strap-on, telling you to open wider while her roommate records it on her phone through the keyhole. There’s this whole turn based combat thing tied to frat wars and campus gangs that looks silly at first, then suddenly you’re planning who to bring to a fight because winning opens new prostitution side gigs and losing might end with a humiliating scene where the rival guys use your girl for group sex while you’re forced to watch, dick hard and useless. I wish the game let you punch one particular smug asshole in the balls during a combat segment, it just sits there in my head every time that scene plays. Anyway, between interracial threesomes in trashy motel rooms, anal quickies in the library stacks, puzzle bits to unlock voyeur routes, and that one lesbian romance that somehow feels more emotional than all your straight routes combined, it’s less like a clean dating sim and more like getting lost in the filthiest campus rumor mill ever, where every rumor turns into a clickable scene and half of them end with a creampie dripping down someone’s thigh.

It starts messy, in the best possible way. You’re tossed into this warped version of the galaxy far, far away - not the kind that smells like burnt metal and destiny, but one thick with sweat and bad decisions. The whole thing feels like a fever dream that someone spun out after one too many Holonet smut threads. You’re the guy who somehow made it to Jedi Knight while everyone else got distracted by the war or by each other’s asses (and they’re massive here, holy hell). Half the time you forget why you’re supposed to be saving anything because Barriss bends forward mid-dialogue and the robe just... doesn’t hold. Then there’s Aayla, all cool confidence until her mouth opens, breathing hard like she’s half-daring you to break the code. They all do that. Even Padme - who says words about diplomacy but arches her back every time your name drops. It’s ridiculous and hot at once, like watching porn on mute during a political debate.

The turn-based fights almost feel like foreplay. Every encounter teases longer than necessary, camera angles doing that thing where you can’t tell if you’re fighting monsters or auditioning them for something darker. When Bo-Katan shows up, the whole tempo changes - less talk, more bite - and suddenly the lightsaber doesn’t look like a weapon anymore. My favorite stupid detail: in the menu, somebody coded a “meditation” button that just leads to sex scenes. Lazy? Sure. But it fits. Nothing here pretends to be noble; it’s all dirty Jedi business in slow motion. And when the game finally pops one of those creampie endings, you don’t even blink. You just chuckle, fix the screen ratio on your phone, and keep pressing through because apparently defeat can look like victory if the moaning syncs just right.

Weird thing is - somewhere between the teasing and the parody nonsense - it stops feeling like a joke. You catch yourself liking these twisted versions more than the real ones. Maybe that’s the Force talking. Or just the fact that the writing knows exactly how low you’ll sink for another glimpse under a Jedi robe.

You wake up in Rick’s garage, half hungover, pants around your ankles, and he just shrugs and opens some glitchy portal that looks like he coded it while drunk on cheap vodka. Next second you’re dumped into this fucked up version of their universe where everything is familiar but just a bit too wet, too soft, too shiny. The first thing you see is Beth’s ass in yoga pants, bent over the kitchen counter, arguing with nobody because Jerry doesn’t exist here. Or he exists but not as a man. You, apparently, are the stand‑in loser. This world is stacked with huge tits and thick asses walking around like it’s normal, and you’re somehow the only guy with working dick, but the joke is you’re broke, useless and everyone treats you like background noise until you prove you can do more than jerk off in the bathroom.

The game plays like somebody smashed an rpg with a horny sandbox and forgot to clean up the code. You wander around the Smith house, sometimes the dialogue hits, sometimes it looks like the dev wrote it on a bus. Beth flips from “responsible doctor mom” to “thirsty milf ready to ride your face” depending on your choices, and it’s messy in a good way. First time she dragged me into the garage and climbed on top, the camera bugged and her tits clipped into my forehead, looked like I was getting smothered by two balloons full of milk. Still hot, though. Summer is worse and better at same time. She acts like she’s too cool for you, glued to her phone, calling you creepy stepdad, then suddenly there’s this event where she’s stuck doing squats in these tiny booty shorts and if you picked the right options earlier she just casually spreads her legs on your lap like that’s normal family bonding. There’s a mini “quest” where you have to grind a bit of cash from random odd jobs, then blow it all in one night at some sketchy bar because a cop with big tits promises “special treatment” in the bathroom stall and then crashes the scene halfway when the wrong variable triggers. I had her talking like Beth for one line. I laughed way too hard.

What I liked is how dirty some scenes are without pretending to be romantic. Vaginal stuff is front and center, no ten‑minute build up, you can just end up balls‑deep in Beth on the couch while the TV shows some static cartoon and the UI text overlaps the cum animation. Sometimes you get stuck in this loop where you’re grinding affection points and money at same time and it feels like a shitty mobile game you secretly enjoy on the toilet. Sometimes the pacing just breaks and you go from jerked‑off loser to pussy magnet in two choices. It’s not stable, not clean, the porn logic is dumb, and the whole “nut your way home” thing already doesn’t make sense five minutes in, but when Summer is riding you in her messy room with her big tits bouncing and the game forgets to fade out the footsteps sound from the hallway, you kinda stop caring that half of it feels like a bug report waiting to happen.

God Tier Academy feels like somebody smashed a horny dating sim into a shounen anime and then said, “yeah ok, but what if we don’t give the MC any actual power and just see how fast he dies.” You’re this dude with busted, unstable magic, officially a nobody, secretly shoved into the top freak school in the country as a spy. The teachers can blow up buildings, the students are literal walking disasters, and you’re trying not to shit yourself while a government officer on your phone reminds you they’ll ruin your family if you run. It’s great. It’s also stupid. In a good way. Mostly.

What really got me is the tone whiplash. One scene you’re in a dark hallway, some monster girl with a tongue too long to be legal breathing in your ear, the game doing that slow zoom while the sound design goes all wet and sticky. Next scene you’re in a normal classroom, fighting sleep while the big tit combat instructor casually explains how to decapitate a demon “before or after foreplay, up to you.” The romance stuff swings between actually sweet and “ok this is straight-up hentai logic.” You can be in a semi-serious convo about trust and betrayal, and two clicks later you’re in a group sex mess on a training field where someone is using a magic shield spell to keep the cum from hitting the grass. There is teasing everywhere, lots of it feeling like those old ecchi anime jokes, but then the game just goes full “nope, we are doing anal and multiple penetration right now, no fade to black.” I liked that it doesn’t pretend to be classy. I also hated that sometimes it pretends to care about school politics for longer than 4 lines, but I forgot that as soon as one of the girls did that ahegao with glowing eyes after a blowjob scene that transitions straight into a horror-styled jump scare. Don’t ask, it actually works. Kind of. Maybe.

Multi-lover stuff is where it gets messy in the best way. You can clearly angle for several romance routes at once and the game doesn’t slap your hand. There’s this one moment in a dorm common room where you’ve already been getting handjobs and oral from two different girls on different days, and a third one walks in, monster girl type with claws and soft voice, and realizes you’ve been flirting with everyone. Instead of the usual jealousy drama, she basically negotiates terms like a damn lawyer: “Fine, but when we do group training, you’re mine first.” That later turns into an animated group scene where she’s riding you, another girl is on your face, and some very enthusiastic dude from the combat club joins in like this is the most normal thing after sparring. The male-on-male angle is treated pretty casually, more like “yo, you’re hard, I’m hard, we’re in a storage room, why not” than big identity speeches, which honestly fits this setting better. There’s also a classroom scene where you’re supposed to be learning spell control, but everyone ends up using the practice barriers as privacy screens for blowjobs and quick anal, while the UI still pretends you’re making serious “tactical choices.” One tiny thing that drove me insane: the mobile interface sometimes hides the text box right when a character is mid-confession, so you tap, and suddenly you jump from “I think I might love...” straight into a creampie animation. No idea what she said. Probably important. I kept meaning to rewind, and then I didn’t.