Unemployed brainiac suddenly realizing that straight A’s don’t pay rent is honestly the most accurate thing I’ve seen in a porn game in a while. You go from “future CEO” to “professional dick on camera” in like two clicks, and the game just shrugs and goes, yeah, that tracks. You’re this guy who thought life was gonna hand him a corner office and instead he’s negotiating payment per scene while staring at a girl whose ass could probably take up a LinkedIn banner. And the story doesn’t even pretend to be deep; it just throws you into this porn industry ladder where every “promotion” is basically more girls, more holes, more cameras, more chaos. One minute you’re doing your awkward first shoot with a nervous virgin who keeps glancing at the lens like it’s judging her, next minute you’re already arranging a mini harem schedule so nobody gets mad they didn’t get enough of your dick on a Tuesday. It’s all centered on you, the male lead, and it leans hard into that power fantasy vibe: you decide who to fuck, how rough, where the cum goes, when to stop, or not stop at all. Except you never actually stop. Obviously.

What hits first is the bodies. This dev clearly hates small proportions. Every girl looks like gravity gave up. Giant tits, thick asses, that “this cannot be good for the spine but I’m not complaining” kind of shape. The 3D look makes it feel like you’re staring at a very expensive porn shoot that forgot what clothes are. Animations are there, and when they loop right, they’re filthy in a good way: deep strokes, wet sounds, actual rhythm, her tits bouncing while you fuck her from behind and the camera angle is set purely for maximum ass worship. Then sometimes an animation will glitch slightly or feel just a bit too fast and your brain goes, ok, that’s not how thrusting works, my dude, but you’re already clicking the next angle so whatever. The voyeur angle is fun too; you get those scenes where you’re not just fucking them, you’re watching them through a lens or a window, zooming in on a girl playing with herself before you walk in and suddenly you’re in control again, pushing her down and sliding in raw while she tries to remember she’s on camera. The dom side is strong but not overthought: you pull hair, you grab throats, you tell them to open wider, hold that pose, take it all, and the game just rolls with it like, yup, that’s your job now. And it is a job, weirdly. You’re grinding your way through scenes, talking to girls, building that porn-star rep so more stacked girls suddenly “want to work with you” which, surprise, means they end up on their knees or on your lap or bent over some random surface.

If you wanna get the most out of it, don’t just spam-click through the dialogue like you’re checking WhatsApp. Some of the fun is in setting up the mood before you slam into them. Teasing a shy girl who’s never done vaginal on camera before, then deciding whether you go gentle first or just push past that and make her ride you until her mascara is wrecked, that’s where the porn actually feels like you’re directing it, not just watching. Pay attention to camera angles when you’re mid-thrust; swap views during the scene and you’ll catch little details like the way her ass jiggles when you go deeper, or how her expression changes when you go from slow strokes to full-on pounding. Build a small “favorite girls” rotation instead of trying to bang every new character once; the repeat scenes hit different when it feels like it’s your personal harem coming back for another round, lined up with their big tits out, waiting for you to pick who gets filled today. And if one tiny UI thing annoys you, like a button that’s one pixel off where your mouse expects it to be, yeah, you’ll notice it every single time and mentally curse it while still booting another scene, because let’s be real, you came here to watch your character fuck his way up the porn food chain, not to win a UX design award.

Your boss finally notices you, but not for the reason you wanted. You bust your ass at work, grind through pointless meetings, kiss enough corporate ring that your tongue should get hazard pay, and it actually pays off. Promotion on the table, big project, all eyes on you. Then he invites you to his place to “celebrate the new chapter” and you’re already half thinking about LinkedIn flex posts in your head. Instead you walk in and meet the real final boss of the game: his wife, wrapped in a tight dress that looks painted on, tits practically spilling, eyes locked on you like you’re dessert she ordered for herself.

She doesn’t even try to hide it. From the moment she leans in a bit too close to pour you a drink, her huge chest brushing your arm, it’s this slow burn of “this is wrong” versus “this is hot as fuck”. The game leans hard into that quiet, private tension. Soft little smiles, hands lingering on your shoulder a bit too long, her bending over the table to pick something up and making sure you can’t miss her ass straining the fabric. There’s no instant jump to sex, it’s more like she keeps poking at the line and watching you twitch. She corners you in the kitchen, finger trailing along the glass, asking if you’ve “ever had a woman who knows what she wants”. Boss is in the next room, rambling about quarterly numbers, while his wife slowly closes the distance, eyes half-lidded, tongue wetting her lips. At some point she presses you against the counter, her tits pushed up against your chest, her hand sliding down, fingers teasing your crotch over your pants like it’s just casual fun. And you’re there thinking, “Say no, say no” while your body is screaming yes.

The corruption angle actually hits different because you’re not some loser with nothing to lose. You built your way up, you care about the job, and that makes every handjob under the table at dinner feel ten times more dangerous. There’s this one moment where she invites you to “help” her in the study while the boss is on a call. Door almost closed, just a crack open, and she drops to her knees in front of you so casually it feels like she’s done this before. She looks up at you while unzipping you, like she’s daring you to pull away, and of course you don’t. Warm mouth, slow strokes, her lipstick smearing on your skin while she moans around your cock, then wiping her mouth with this smug little smile and going back out like nothing happened. The teasing is constant. She texts you after, sending pics of her in nothing but an open shirt, tits barely contained, saying she’s “bored when hubby is at the office”. Some routes let you push her further, turning that sexy wife into someone who basically lives to sneak around behind his back with you, climbing into your lap, grinding that big ass against you while she whispers how her husband never fucks her like you do. And yeah, part of you knows this will wreck everything you’ve been working for, but by the time she’s riding you on his couch, soft moans mixing with the sound of her skin slapping on yours, nails digging into your shoulders, you’re way past pretending you’re the good guy anymore.

Honestly? This game caught me off guard. Started playing expecting another half-baked detective parody but got sucked into something way more engaging than anticipated. The whole "wake up from coma, become magical cop" setup sounds cheesy as hell, but somehow it works. Your partner's this sarcastic brunette who keeps roasting you during investigations, and the banter actually made me laugh out loud a few times. The mind-reading mechanic during interrogations is brilliant - you're literally getting inside suspects' heads to catch them in lies, which feels way more interactive than typical VN dialogue trees.

What really surprised me was how the puzzle elements blend with the adult content. You're not just clicking through sex scenes; you're earning them by being a competent detective. The evidence gathering mini-games are actually fun instead of tedious busywork, and connecting clues on the detective board gives you that satisfying "aha!" moment when everything clicks. The magic duels threw me for a loop - wasn't expecting quick-time combat in my porn game, but here we are. The erotic scenes themselves are well-animated and feel earned rather than randomly thrown in. Your choices genuinely matter too; I replayed a case and got completely different outcomes based on how I handled interrogations and whether I decided to be professional or flirty with witnesses.

The variety keeps things fresh - one case you're investigating magical murders, next you're dealing with supernatural smuggling rings. Each chapter feels distinct while building the overarching story. Sure, some of the humor is hit-or-miss, and occasionally the pacing drags during exposition dumps, but when it hits its stride? Chef's kiss. The promised content updates look ambitious - more character types, expanded world, optional kinks for different tastes. Right now it's already solid entertainment that doesn't insult your intelligence while delivering the goods. Sometimes you want your detective fiction with a side of titfuck, you know?

I didn’t expect to laugh this much during what’s basically a porn game about rebuilding civilization with your dick, but here we are. “Dickcare” doesn’t even pretend to have subtlety, which somehow makes it better. It’s like the dev looked at every crossover hentai fantasy - Velma squinting behind foggy glasses, Raven pretending she’s not into it, Tatsumaki rolling her eyes while secretly moaning - and said, yeah, let’s just throw them all in one ruined world and call it salvation. The writing’s half self-aware and half deranged sincerity; the voice lines swing between awkwardly horny and genuinely funny. There’s one scene with Frankie in a busted gym locker room that made me pause, not because it was hot (though it is), but because she calls you “hero” in this weird soft tone right before things get messy. It stays in your head longer than expected.

What’s wild is how much *sound* adds to everything. You can tell someone cared about the way a zipper slides down or the slap echoing off concrete walls. The sandbox part? Looser than it sounds. You wander, talk, get distracted by some zombie side plot that doesn’t matter, and suddenly Velma’s stuck halfway through a ventilation shaft. It’s ridiculous, yeah, but also... kind of perfect. There’s no grind, no fake moral choice. Just dirty, absurd freedom. Though, I swear one moaning loop cuts off too early - it’s such a small glitch but now I obsess over it. Maybe that’s the point: perfection would ruin the charm.

It’s funny how a game full of cum jokes and cartoon parodies ends up feeling more alive than most serious stuff. Maybe because it doesn’t care if you take it seriously. One minute you’re saving humanity, next you’re wiping something off Raven’s cape while she pretends not to blush. If there were awards for “Most Unnecessarily Emotional Cum Scene,” this one wins without competition.