I didn’t expect to laugh this much during what’s basically a porn game about rebuilding civilization with your dick, but here we are. “Dickcare” doesn’t even pretend to have subtlety, which somehow makes it better. It’s like the dev looked at every crossover hentai fantasy - Velma squinting behind foggy glasses, Raven pretending she’s not into it, Tatsumaki rolling her eyes while secretly moaning - and said, yeah, let’s just throw them all in one ruined world and call it salvation. The writing’s half self-aware and half deranged sincerity; the voice lines swing between awkwardly horny and genuinely funny. There’s one scene with Frankie in a busted gym locker room that made me pause, not because it was hot (though it is), but because she calls you “hero” in this weird soft tone right before things get messy. It stays in your head longer than expected.

What’s wild is how much *sound* adds to everything. You can tell someone cared about the way a zipper slides down or the slap echoing off concrete walls. The sandbox part? Looser than it sounds. You wander, talk, get distracted by some zombie side plot that doesn’t matter, and suddenly Velma’s stuck halfway through a ventilation shaft. It’s ridiculous, yeah, but also... kind of perfect. There’s no grind, no fake moral choice. Just dirty, absurd freedom. Though, I swear one moaning loop cuts off too early - it’s such a small glitch but now I obsess over it. Maybe that’s the point: perfection would ruin the charm.

It’s funny how a game full of cum jokes and cartoon parodies ends up feeling more alive than most serious stuff. Maybe because it doesn’t care if you take it seriously. One minute you’re saving humanity, next you’re wiping something off Raven’s cape while she pretends not to blush. If there were awards for “Most Unnecessarily Emotional Cum Scene,” this one wins without competition.

Tifa in this one feels like that cosplay you swore you'd only wear for a photoshoot, then suddenly you're bent over a con hotel bed with half the room watching. The game is basically just her on her knees in this rough, dirty cave, surrounded by guys who are clearly not here to chat about materia builds. No story fluff, no slow intro, it just throws you right into her sucking this thick cock while others crowd in around her, stroking themselves like they’ve been queuing all day. She keeps looking up with those big eyes, all wet and desperate, and as a cosplayer I kept catching myself going “ok but what kind of push-up bra do I need to get that exact cleavage and still breathe?” which is probably not the intended question, but here we are. The whole vibe is very fan-art-gone-too-far: you recognize her right away, that iconic outfit, but now she’s drooling, gagging a little, spit and cum on her face, and acting like this is exactly what she was built for. And somehow it works. Then suddenly I hate it. Then I keep watching.

The loop format is both hot and kinda annoying, like watching the same TikTok thirst trap for too long. She goes from one cock to another, sliding between them, licking up the shaft, switching angle, you get that classic “stuffed from all sides” energy even if it’s mostly focused on her mouth. There’s this one moment where she pulls back, tongue out, cum dripping off her chin, and still keeps eye contact, like she’s begging silently “who’s next?” That little detail actually hits harder than the big messy finish. And yet they gave one of the guys this super weird shading on his abs that keeps pulling my attention like a bad Photoshop filter. I kept pausing, zooming in, wondering what brush they used, which is the most unsexy thing to do in a gangbang scene, but now I can’t unsee it. The bukkake payoff is nasty in a good way, thick streaks all over her cheeks, lips, even a bit hanging off her lashes, and she still looks up, smiling like a used-up good girl, almost proud. It’s filthy fanservice, nothing deep, but her body language, the way she leans into the hands on her head, the way her throat flexes when she takes him too far, that sells it more than any “plot” ever could. I closed the page, then opened it again.

Nami and Robin on a sunny little island “vacation” with zero supervision already sounds like fanfiction that escaped from someone's secret Discord folder, and this thing basically leans all the way into that. No plot armor, no long speeches about friendship, just two pirates who are bored, horny, and way too comfortable with each other. Luffy and the rest of the idiots are off-screen doing whatever shonen boys do, and Robin just looks at Nami like, yeah, we’re not wasting this silence. The whole setup is incredibly simple: beach, water, boobs that look like they’re breaking several laws of physics, and a “hey, what if I just grow you a massive cock right now” moment. It’s the most Robin thing ever, except Oda would explode if this was canon. One second Nami is lounging around in her swimsuit, tits basically falling out on purpose, and the next she’s packing this stupidly big shaft like she’s been futa her whole life. No slow build, no shy nonsense, she’s just suddenly hung and Robin is already eyeing it like dessert.

The pacing feels like it was written by a horny teenager who skipped breakfast. Robin doesn’t even pretend to be classy. She goes full porn-brain: sliding between Nami’s boobs, stroking that huge shaft with those long fingers, licking the tip like she’s trying to taste the entire ocean. The boobjob is messy in the good way, with Nami looking half proud, half “what the hell did you just do to my body” while still thrusting into her own tits like a complete pervert. Then you get that switch, Robin dropping down and taking it in her mouth, sucking her crewmate off like a girl who’s been waiting whole arcs for this exact chance. Deep throat, sloppy spit, her lips sliding down that oversized cock while Nami’s hips twitch and she bites her lip, boobs bouncing every time she bucks forward. The game doesn’t pretend to be romantic, but ironically it kinda feels more intimate than half the “serious” hentai. They’re alone, no audience, just two pirates using each other for relief. And then when Robin gets on all fours and offers that big ass, with Nami grabbing her waist and ramming that thing in from behind, it stops being cute and goes straight into filthy. Doggy on the beach, swimsuit half pushed aside, sand, sea, big cock stretching Robin while her tits swing under her, hair all over the place, and Nami pounding like she’s angry at the Grand Line itself. Watching Robin get filled from behind while she begs for more and talks dirty is honestly way hotter than it has any right to be. Outdoor sex, creampie, everything uncensored, no annoying cutaway, just Nami stuffing her full until she’s leaking and twitching in the sand, like they just recorded the most illegal vacation sex tape that will absolutely never reach the Sunny’s Den Den Mushi, except you know it totally would.

Jessica Rabbit in a graveyard full of horny zombies sounds stupid on paper, and somehow that’s exactly why it works. You open the game expecting some lazy parody and then suddenly you’re watching this redhead trophy wife in her tight dress having to “negotiate” with a bunch of rotting creeps to save her idiot rabbit husband. There’s a tiny bit of minigame stuff where you actually have to pay attention with your mouse instead of just clicking through like a zombie yourself, and if you screw it up the scene stalls or changes. I liked that more than I thought I would. It feels trashy in the right way: blink and you miss a blowjob angle, click too late and she’s getting forced into something harsher. The game doesn’t pretend it’s wholesome either. It calls the whole thing what it is: ***, blackmail, and a gangbang in a graveyard, with Jessica more “used” than “romanced”. If you want consent fluff, yeah, you’re in the wrong cemetery.

What really sells it is how they lean into her being this “perfect” big-tit redhead wife who still walks right into a trap because she loves her dumb cartoon husband too much. One second she’s bargaining, next second she’s on her knees with zombie cock in her mouth while another one is already groping her ass and talking about her holes like they’re free real estate. The camera loves her tits almost too much. Every angle finds a way to make them bounce or smear cum on them or squash them together while some dead guy is pounding her from behind. Anal comes in like, “oh yeah, by the way this is happening too,” and suddenly you’re watching her stretched open while she tries to still beg for Roger’s life with a mouth full of undead dick. There’s a bit where you’re just clicking to keep her “cooperating,” and it’s so dumb and simple, but I caught myself trying to get every little variation of how they touch her, how many zombies pile on her, how ruined her makeup gets. I wish they did more weird stuff with the minigame parts, but they won’t. It’s that kind of game: cheap, filthy, fast, and way more focused on watching Jessica get passed around in every position than on pretending you’re playing some deep hentai story. And yeah, it’s called a parody, but honestly, this is probably how half of us imagined her ending up anyway.