Hot, messy summer in Danville, but not the one Disney wrote, yeah? In this one you slip into Phineas’ place, except now he’s grown, bored, horny, and way too aware that every woman around him is stacked and kind of a walking problem. The tone hits that dumb summer vibe pretty well: sun, lazy days, stupid jokes, and then suddenly you’re in this “how did I end up with my face between her thighs” situation that somehow feels like it escalated naturally. It’s a Ren’Py visual novel, so you’re reading, clicking, choosing, and watching the chaos pile up. Nothing fancy with gameplay tricks, just choices piling on top of each other until you’re in a different bed than last time. Story jumps between silly parody humor and “oh wow that’s actually hot” pretty fast. One moment Phineas is cracking some half-assed reference to “inators,” next you’re watching Isabella pin him to the couch and ride him slow, whispering that she’s been waiting since “way before this dumb summer,” and he finally shuts up for once.

The fun part is how twisted the family side gets. Candace is still Candace, but now she’s legal, frustrated, and absolutely done with nobody taking her seriously. You can play her scenes light and jokey, like teasing her until she snaps and drags you to her room, or you can lean into this slightly darker, more desperate vibe where she knows this stuff is wrong but she pushes anyway. There’s this one branch where she comes into Phineas’ room late, complaining about mom, then suddenly sits on his lap and starts grinding through her shorts, pretending she just wants attention. He tries to talk, she just reaches back, opens his zipper, and the script really lingers on the awkward, guilty silence before she actually sinks down on his cock. No romantic speech, just heavy breathing and a lot of “don’t say anything, just fuck me.” That scene stuck with me more than the big jokes.

Linda is pure milf fuel, by the way. The game doesn’t even play subtle with her. Loose house clothes, wine glass always somewhere, and that “I know exactly what you’re doing, but I’m not stopping you” attitude. In one path she walks in while you’re making out with someone on the couch, pretends she doesn’t notice, then later corners you in the kitchen. She leans forward, her tits obviously squeezed by the shirt, and says something like, “If you’re going to act like an adult, at least learn how to satisfy one.” Next click she’s on her knees between your legs, stroking you slow while lecturing you like it’s some very serious sex lesson. When you finally slide into her, the writing stops being goofy and just gets dirty: full-on wet squelching, her ass slapping against you, her calling you “baby” in that way that sounds way too erotic from your own mom. It’s wrong, it’s exactly what players come here for, and the game knows it. The whole vibe is like a lazy horny summer where every day could end with you balls-deep in either your “friend,” your sister, or your own mother, depending which dialogue option you poked half a scene ago. Comedy, porn, parody, all mixed without pretending to be respectable.

There is this trashy little tropical resort game that feels like somebody mashed a sleazy dating sim with a lazy idle tycoon and then asked, “how far can we push the horny?” and just never stopped. You show up on this sunny island because daddy died and left you a resort, and instead of grief you get a UI and a to-do list that’s basically: hire busty women, pretend to care, squeeze both their labor and their bodies. It’s not subtle. The first time you promise a girl “a real career” while the dialogue clearly nudges her toward stripping down for “special client service”, it feels like a hentai parody of every fake inspirational LinkedIn coach. One moment you’re adjusting room prices and assigning shifts, next moment you’re in a Ren’Py scene where she’s bent over a desk, tits bouncing, you clicking through lines about “team building”. Very professional, yes. Totally HR compliant.

The part that actually got me is how fast your brain switches between numbers brain and degenerate brain. You’re checking profit margins, then a new horny event pops up: that island cutie you put at the front desk is complaining she can’t pay rent, and suddenly the “solution” is you fucking her brains out as “staff housing benefit”. The game pretends it’s comedic, and to be fair, some lines are actually funny in that dark, mean way: jokes about selling “emotional security” while your dick is literally inside her, side comments about your dead father probably doing the same shit before you. Sometimes the humor hits, sometimes it’s like your uncle discovered hentai memes and tried to write them himself. The girls are written like classic eroge archetypes, just with the morality slider ripped off: the shy one that folds under pressure with a wet moan, the ambitious one you bribe with promises of promotion if she swallows, the island girl who “owes the resort” and works off her debt on her knees. Ren’Py makes it all feel familiar: click, fork a choice, watch an H-scene, open another menu to make more money off the same girl you just creampied. It is trash, but that kind of trash where you catch yourself min-maxing your harem and thinking, “ok, but if I make this one my personal assistant, does that unlock more office sex or just better income?” and then you realize you don’t care, because she’s already moaning your name in another event window. Tropical capitalism, but with cum everywhere.

Riveroaks looks like one of those nice West Coast towns from Instagram, but this game keeps poking the dirty meat under the skin. You play this broke guy who gets kicked out of home and suddenly finds out his estranged dad is a porn mogul with a new gay studio that needs a handler. Not in the fun BDSM sense. In the “sign contracts and worry about profits while staring at six packs” sense. Half the time you are trying to pretend you are a professional businessman, the other half you are trying not to get a visible boner during casting. The fun part is how casual the world treats sex. Everyone already knows you are Leonard King’s kid. Baristas flirt with you like they want a role, gym bros stretch way too close, and every conversation has this small chance to slide into filth. One second someone is talking about lighting, the next they are describing exactly how they want to be fucked on camera, and the game just goes “yeah this is normal”. As a horror nerd I like when a city feels like it has a pulse, and Riveroaks kind of hums like something alive and wet. Every location feels like a different fetish altar. The arcade with sticky neon, the gym with its sweaty muscle cult, the cute café where the “nice guy” director talks about art and then asks if you are comfortable filming a three-way with a choke scene. None of this is subtle. Sometimes it is hilarious and awkward and horny at the same time, like when you are reviewing test footage and realize the actor is staring straight into the camera, dirty talking you of all people, and the dialogue actually acknowledges your flustered silence instead of pretending you are a blank self insert.

What surprised me is how much the management part and the romance keep stepping on each other’s toes. You choose what kind of scenes to produce, who to cast together, what kinks to push, and later you have to sit with the people you just turned into “content” and maybe flirt with them, or listen when they tell you about their trauma, or both. There is this one moment where you schedule a shoot with a cocky twink and a quiet older guy, thinking “ok, this will sell, simple power play vibe”, and by the time you watch the preview cut you realize they actually clicked emotionally in between all the deepthroating. Then the game asks you, softly but not really gently, if you want to push them harder next time for profit or let them have a slower, sweeter scene. Of course I picked the darker option because I am weak and also curious. The aftermath hit harder than I expected, but then the next scene is just a stupidly funny argument in a bistro over whose ass looks better on camera, so your feelings never get to settle. It is messy, like real life, only with a lot more cum. The main character is weirdly relatable too. Not some porn god, just this slightly lost young dude who keeps flipping between horny, bitter, and accidentally caring. One route has you teasing a muscular cameraman in the locker room, trading nasty jokes until he corners you in the shower and asks if you are just playing or if you want him to ruin you for real. Another has you sharing late night drinks with an actor who looks like he walked out of a yaoi doujin, talking about family while his hand sits a little too high on your thigh. The sex scenes commit. They use the dirty words, they linger on bodies, they let you taste that feeling of being looked at like fresh meat. Sometimes the pacing goes weird and you jump from intense emotional build up to “ok, we are sucking dick now” with almost no breath, but honestly that clumsy cut has its own charm. Porn is rarely tidy. In my head I almost read Riveroaks like a cult story, only the cult is gay porn, and instead of summoning Cthulhu you are summoning audience engagement with horny thumbnails. There is something quietly corrupting about how normal it feels after a while to treat desire as a spreadsheet thing. And then a cute guy smiles at you from across the studio, half naked, and you stop caring where exactly your soul went.

Thiago is that kind of idiot you scream at through the screen and then still wanna see naked. The whole thing is built like some trashy late-night TV show that should be banned, but you keep watching anyway. You’re not the hero here, you’re more like the perv in the audience that somehow got the remote. Every “episode” throws him into another ridiculous game against some girl who looks like she walked out of an anime convention after too many tequila shots. And the rules are stupid simple: lose the game, get punished; win the game, still maybe get punished, just in a way that gives you a boner instead of trauma. It feels like a horny game show that escaped from Pornhub and learned how to talk. Dialog is all over the place, kinda meme, kinda cringe, but also exactly what I hear in my group chats, like when someone types “bro she gonna ruin your life and dick at same time” and nobody disagrees.

What really hits is how the “punishments” are never just one thing. Sometimes it’s teasing, like the girl just verbally wrecks him, steps on his pride, and uses him as emotional toilet paper. Sometimes it flips and she goes full-on sexual humiliation, making him kneel, calling him her cute little loser while she rubs his face against her tits or grinds on him like he’s furniture. And then there are moments that are almost sweet, which pisses me off more, because I came to see horny disaster, not low-key affection. One of the girls laughs at him for losing, calls him pathetic, then pets his hair and tells him he did “good enough” while pushing his head down between her legs. It’s toxic, it’s messy, it’s hot, and yeah, it kinda reminded me of that one situationship I had where Discord calls somehow turned into “show me more” at like stupid hours. The game doesn’t pretend to be deep, but it accidentally pokes your kinks in very specific places: being dominated, being mocked, trying to “win” affection through games, like hentai Squid Game but horny and low stakes. You get to pick stuff sometimes, flirt badly, act brave or submissive, and the girls react in ways that feel just random enough to hurt. They look like they’re having more fun than you. Which is honestly fair.

If you’re like me and you overthink everything, you’ll catch yourself treating each little minigame like some test of worth. Lose a round and suddenly you’re there, clicking through, letting this anime girl ride your character’s face while she laughs about how “men are only good for this anyway” and you’re nodding along like, yeah, okay, that tracks. It hits that lonely-brain spot where you’re used to porn tabs, shitty dating app swipes, ignored DMs, and now you’re here, begging pixels to step on you a little harder. The humor helps, though. There are memes thrown in like the writer just alt-tabbed from Twitter and copy-pasted their timeline, dumb jokes about reality shows, small fourth-wall breaks, nothing fancy but it makes the sex feel less clinical, more like a horny shitpost that got out of control. Scenes are short, quick payoff, like someone chopped a season of a degenerate TV show into bite-sized episodes just long enough to make you blush and then hit “next” anyway. If you wanna squeeze the most juice from it, don’t rush the dialog. Lean into the flirting, pick the cocky options just to watch Thiago get wrecked, or go full submissive dog and let the girls drag him deeper every time. Either way, the “show” keeps going, and you just sit there, one hand on the mouse, wondering how the hell a stupid little TV game ended up knowing exactly what kind of loser you are.