Haremwatch - v0.04a
You start as this kinda average guy who says yes to a sketchy science experiment he really should have read the terms of service on, and next moment you wake up in a future where Overwatch is not just a game but your whole messy, horny new life. It feels like someone mashed a dating sim with a point & click comedy, then sprinkled a bunch of porn hub searches over it and said “yeah, that’s the story now”. You go around talking to these twisted versions of the heroes you know, poking at stuff on the screen, trying not to miss any dialog option that might lead to pussy, a blowjob or at least some shameless groping. One minute Ana is lecturing you like an annoyed MILF who already knows you are checking out her tits, next minute you are in some lab with Dr. Arrhenius, listening to fake science that is clearly just an excuse to get your dick into trouble. The humor hits this weird sweet spot where it’s half shitpost, half horny fanfic, and yet it works. Sometimes it is actually funnier than it needs to be for a porn game, which annoyed me a bit because I caught myself reading instead of skipping straight to the sex scenes.
The heroines are all reimagined versions of Overwatch girls and a few surprises, but not in that boring “perfect goddess” way. D.Va feels like that Twitch streamer who would absolutely farm subs by “accidentally” flashing cleavage, Tracer is all manic energy and flirty lines, Kiriko is way too smug about how much control she has of the situation, and Mercy somehow manages to be a horny angel with big tits and a therapist at the same time. There is interracial stuff baked in very naturally, not in that cringe checkbox style. You flirt, pick dialog, wander around rooms, and gradually unlock more perverted scenes, from teasing touches to full on vaginal sex and sloppy, noisy oral that doesn’t pretend to be romantic. When it goes into harem territory it just leans into the fantasy completely, like the game knows exactly what kind of brainrot you came here for. And then suddenly a scene will play it kinda tender, like a real romance moment, which is confusing in a good way. The AI-style CG art has that slightly uncanny vibe sometimes, but it actually fits the whole “futuristic lab, weird experiment” setting so I didn’t mind. I only got annoyed once when I misclicked in this one point & click segment and had to redo a whole conversation because the game really wants you to talk your way into pussy the proper way. Felt like being punished by a horny visual novel. Still, when you are watching Mei press her soft body against the screen while some dirty joke lands perfectly, you forget about that. The game just keeps tossing horny situations at you, from groping in totally inappropriate places to full-on hardcore scenes, and somehow it still feels like an adventure, not just a gallery. I opened it thinking “ok, quick fap app” and then I’m arguing with myself whether I want to charm Pharah or piss off Brigitte first, like an idiot who takes porn choices way too seriously.
The heroines are all reimagined versions of Overwatch girls and a few surprises, but not in that boring “perfect goddess” way. D.Va feels like that Twitch streamer who would absolutely farm subs by “accidentally” flashing cleavage, Tracer is all manic energy and flirty lines, Kiriko is way too smug about how much control she has of the situation, and Mercy somehow manages to be a horny angel with big tits and a therapist at the same time. There is interracial stuff baked in very naturally, not in that cringe checkbox style. You flirt, pick dialog, wander around rooms, and gradually unlock more perverted scenes, from teasing touches to full on vaginal sex and sloppy, noisy oral that doesn’t pretend to be romantic. When it goes into harem territory it just leans into the fantasy completely, like the game knows exactly what kind of brainrot you came here for. And then suddenly a scene will play it kinda tender, like a real romance moment, which is confusing in a good way. The AI-style CG art has that slightly uncanny vibe sometimes, but it actually fits the whole “futuristic lab, weird experiment” setting so I didn’t mind. I only got annoyed once when I misclicked in this one point & click segment and had to redo a whole conversation because the game really wants you to talk your way into pussy the proper way. Felt like being punished by a horny visual novel. Still, when you are watching Mei press her soft body against the screen while some dirty joke lands perfectly, you forget about that. The game just keeps tossing horny situations at you, from groping in totally inappropriate places to full-on hardcore scenes, and somehow it still feels like an adventure, not just a gallery. I opened it thinking “ok, quick fap app” and then I’m arguing with myself whether I want to charm Pharah or piss off Brigitte first, like an idiot who takes porn choices way too seriously.
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