There is this trashy little tropical resort game that feels like somebody mashed a sleazy dating sim with a lazy idle tycoon and then asked, “how far can we push the horny?” and just never stopped. You show up on this sunny island because daddy died and left you a resort, and instead of grief you get a UI and a to-do list that’s basically: hire busty women, pretend to care, squeeze both their labor and their bodies. It’s not subtle. The first time you promise a girl “a real career” while the dialogue clearly nudges her toward stripping down for “special client service”, it feels like a hentai parody of every fake inspirational LinkedIn coach. One moment you’re adjusting room prices and assigning shifts, next moment you’re in a Ren’Py scene where she’s bent over a desk, tits bouncing, you clicking through lines about “team building”. Very professional, yes. Totally HR compliant.

The part that actually got me is how fast your brain switches between numbers brain and degenerate brain. You’re checking profit margins, then a new horny event pops up: that island cutie you put at the front desk is complaining she can’t pay rent, and suddenly the “solution” is you fucking her brains out as “staff housing benefit”. The game pretends it’s comedic, and to be fair, some lines are actually funny in that dark, mean way: jokes about selling “emotional security” while your dick is literally inside her, side comments about your dead father probably doing the same shit before you. Sometimes the humor hits, sometimes it’s like your uncle discovered hentai memes and tried to write them himself. The girls are written like classic eroge archetypes, just with the morality slider ripped off: the shy one that folds under pressure with a wet moan, the ambitious one you bribe with promises of promotion if she swallows, the island girl who “owes the resort” and works off her debt on her knees. Ren’Py makes it all feel familiar: click, fork a choice, watch an H-scene, open another menu to make more money off the same girl you just creampied. It is trash, but that kind of trash where you catch yourself min-maxing your harem and thinking, “ok, but if I make this one my personal assistant, does that unlock more office sex or just better income?” and then you realize you don’t care, because she’s already moaning your name in another event window. Tropical capitalism, but with cum everywhere.

So there's this game called Cartoon Hearts and honestly? It's kinda weird but in that good way where you can't look away from a car crash, except the car crash is horny teenagers and cartoon characters going to high school together.

You play some random dude - because it's always some random dude, isn't it - walking around what looks like a normal city but surprise! Raven's doing her goth thing in art class, Violet Parr's trying not to phase through her desk during math, and Starfire's probably setting something on fire in chemistry because that's just Tuesday for her. The whole setup is unhinged in the best possible way. Like someone took Saturday morning cartoons and said "what if they all went to the same school and had raging hormones?" which is either brilliant or deeply concerning depending on your perspective. The writing bounces between actually clever character interactions and moments where you're like wait did Raven just say that? Because she did and it's weird but also... kinda works?

Each girl's got her whole personality thing going on - shy artist with mysterious vibes, popular athlete who's secretly insecure, alien princess who doesn't understand human customs but definitely understands human anatomy. Standard visual novel fare but with characters you actually recognize instead of Generic Anime Girl #47. The dialogue gets pretty explicit when things heat up, which they do because that's literally the point. Some scenes hit different when it's characters you've known since you were like twelve, creates this whole cognitive dissonance that's either your thing or absolutely not your thing. No middle ground here. The art style does this thing where it tries to stay true to the original designs while making them more... adult-oriented, if you catch my drift. Sometimes it works great, other times Starfire looks like she walked out of a completely different universe than Teen Titans but whatever, you're not here for art consistency anyway.

You wake up in a world that feels too heavy with history, like the air itself remembers every god that ever fucked, lied, or loved here. It’s not some shiny Olympus on a postcard - it’s cracked marble, sweat, and the smell of skin after lightning. You’re not sure if you’re supposed to be mortal or divine, but everyone who looks at you seems to want to find out by getting under your clothes. The game doesn’t waste time pretending it’s about heroism; it’s about hunger, the kind that makes your chest ache and your hands shake when someone whispers your name like a prayer. You make choices, yeah, but half the time it feels like the choices are making you - pulling you toward lust or rage or something that tastes like both.

There’s this one scene - I can’t forget it - where you’re standing in front of a goddess who’s pretending to be human. She touches your face like she’s remembering it from another life, and then suddenly she’s pressing you against the wall, and it’s not gentle. The writing doesn’t flinch; it lets the moment breathe, dirty and holy at once. That’s what got me. The sex isn’t just there to get you off (though it will, trust me), it’s tangled with the story, with the idea that desire is a kind of truth. And sometimes it’s ugly. Sometimes you hate what you want. But the game doesn’t judge. It just watches.

I kept thinking about how the gods here aren’t better than humans - they’re just more naked about their madness. The jealousy, the possessiveness, the way they look at you like you’re both prey and prophet. It’s messy, mythic, erotic as hell. The music hums low like a heartbeat, and every choice feels like it could ruin you or make you divine. Maybe both.

Eight years after all the magic bullshit went “ok sure, now this is normal”, you’re dropped into this weirdly calm university life where everyone pretends they grew up, but nobody really did. She’s a blonde student now, technically an adult, wearing the ID card, going to lectures, passing bored faces in the hallway, and still getting that same rush when an old face appears at the back of the class. It starts slow. Too slow, honestly. You’re clicking through her daily routine, half-listening to some teacher talk about something nobody cares about, then suddenly you’re in this abandoned classroom with someone who used to save worlds with her, and now they’re just awkwardly standing too close. The game does this a lot. One second you’re watching her stare at a timetable, next second she’s on her knees between someone’s legs, the kind of blowjob scene that feels like the dev actually remembers what horny fans want: saliva, messy sounds, a bit of funny dialogue that somehow doesn’t ruin the mood. It’s not super polished, you see the seams, but that kinda works here. Feels like a fanfic that escaped Google Docs and picked up a Ren’Py engine on the way.

The whole thing is pure nostalgia porn mixed with actual porn. You get those “oh shit, I remember that” moments when she meets old acquaintances who are now adults too, but the way they look at her tells you everyone’s thinking less about magic and more about who’s going to end up pinned against a dorm wall. Scenes hit different when you’re the one choosing which door she knocks on after class. One route had me send her to this “study session” that turned into a very not-safe-for-library handjob under the table, while the teacher droned on two meters away. Another time I picked what I thought was the wholesome choice and somehow ended with her mouth full in a storage closet, joking about how this is better than exams. The game likes to pretend you’re roleplaying her feelings, but let’s be honest, half the time you’re just testing how far the dev will let this parody go without breaking the character completely. Some lines are a bit cringe, some scenes end too quick, and there’s this one background track that kept looping during a really hot scene and I wanted to strangle it, but I didn’t mute it. I just complained out loud to no one and kept clicking, because the next CG looked really nice in the wrong way. It’s not subtle. It’s not trying to be smart. It’s a horny, slightly rough fan-made eroge where a once chaotic magical girl is now a horny uni student with way too many “private talks” after class, and if you were ever into that show, your brain will fill in all the parts the script rushes through. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

You know that awful feeling when your phone buzzes, you open the chat, and you’re not sure if you even want to scroll up because you already feel something’s wrong? This game lives inside that feeling. You play as Eddie, normal guy, married, kind of worn out by life, stuck in this shitty loop of work, stress, debt, and a dick that just refuses to cooperate when you actually need it. The whole thing plays out mostly through chats and phone stuff, so you’re basically spying on your own life. Messages, pictures, little bits of “hey babe, miss you” turning into “hey, I’m working late” and then into things you really don’t want to see your wife sending to someone else. And still you keep tapping, because of course you do.

Rachel starts as that sweet, supportive wife who just wants to help, who wants her man back, wants sex that isn’t awkward and half-hearted. The game doesn’t jump straight into filth. It teases you. She takes small jobs, chats with new people, gets “friendly” with that one guy who compliments her more in two texts than Eddie managed in a whole week. You see her selfies get a bit bolder. At first it’s cute. She’s shy, a bit embarrassed, but she sends that “accidental” cleavage pic and you feel both proud and a bit sick. Then the pictures get dirtier. The emojis change. The typing pauses get longer. The game really likes to make you stare at the screen waiting for three dots, wondering if she’s going to send something soft or something that will make you want to punch the wall and jerk off at the same time.

Sex scenes here are mostly in your head and on the phone screen, twisted together. When she’s playing with herself, you don’t just see her; you see the messages that pushed her there. Some random guy hyping her up, telling her how wet she must be, asking for “proof”, and she actually sends it. You get AI-style images that look like those edited photos you see on Telegram porn channels, slightly too clean, but the situation around them is messy as fuck. There’s cheating, voyeurism, corruption, all that good painful stuff. You read how she describes your failures in bed while you’re the one stuck watching and masturbating like some pathetic cuck who can’t even look away. The worst part is how normal it all feels. No magic, no mind control. Just money problems, stress, one dude with a working dick and another with a nice salary and a smooth tongue, and a woman who gets tired of waiting. The story doesn’t need big twists. It just pokes at those ugly relationship fears until they get horny, then keeps going a bit too far. You know it’s going to hurt. You still open the next chat. And the next picture. And the next.

This thing feels like someone took a pretty normal slice-of-life VN, poured a bucket of porn over it, then went “yeah, that’s family, sure, why not” and just kept going. You’re this 21-year-old guy, pretending to be a serious tutor, but you live in a house where literally no one has heard of personal boundaries. The game starts slow, like you’re just helping Mia with homework, or catching Nicole sneaking in late, and your brain goes “ok, normal story, school stuff, chores, boring real life.” Then suddenly the camera angle hangs a bit too long on Mia’s thighs, her skirt rides up, and you realize this isn’t “wholesome anime tutoring simulator”, this is “I probably shouldn’t be turned on by this but here we go anyway.”

The vibe is weirdly voyeur-ish in a good way. A lot of scenes feel like you’re spying on your own house through a hidden phone camera. You’re not just clicking through dialogue, you’re kind of peeking. Emily walks around the kitchen in a top that would get her banned from Twitch in two seconds, the AI-touched model face looking like some pornstar you half-recognize from Pornhub recommendations, and you get that “I’ve seen this actress somewhere” brain itch. The game loves that angle. Catching her bent over the fridge, the way the shirt rides up, that tiny delay before she notices you standing behind her. There’s a bathroom door that never seems to close all the way. A bedroom you “accidentally” walk into while someone is changing. It’s not subtle. It’s not trying to be.

What killed me was how it mixes the cheap porn logic with these tiny moments that feel almost too real. Like, Mia asking you to help her study, actually struggling with something, eyes tired, and then the whole thing crashing straight into “reward” sex, full-on vaginal, messy, loud, zero condoms, like a shitty hentai plot that forgot to be animated. One moment you’re choosing between dialogue options that pretend to be morally conflicted, next moment you’re balls-deep and the camera is glued to her face, with that AI CG blending actual porn stills with this slightly uncanny softness. It works more often than it should, to be honest. And then sometimes the faces look a bit off, like the model had one too many filters and no sleep, but by that point you’re probably one hand on the mouse, so accuracy is not exactly the main concern.

The “open-world” thing is there, sort of. You wander around the house, some streets, click on spots, poke at side characters that are clearly just future porn flags. There’s this one milf-type neighbor who shows up like she’s in the wrong game, straight out of a Brazzers thumbnail, all fake smile and huge tits. The first time I saw her the game made me walk away like “not yet”, and I actually got annoyed at that. Don’t tease me with walking porn and then send me back to do algebra with my “sister”, man. Also, one of the side girls has this super jerky movement between images that made me laugh in the middle of a sex scene. It’s like she teleports from “fully dressed” to “legs wide open” in one click, like PowerPoint but horny.

What’s kind of fun, though, is how the story pretends you’re building relationships, asking “who will you choose” while 90% of players are like “all of them, obviously.” You flirt with Nicole in the hallway, then later you catch her alone in her room, headphones on, hand under the blanket, screen reflection showing some porn site you probably used last week. That bit felt almost too exact. I swear I saw an interface that looked a lot like XVideos. The whole “fan-made remake” thing shows up in little ways, like scenes that feel stitched together from older content, but it still hits the basic buttons: family tension, forbidden stuff, pornstars faces mashed with AI, and lots of first-person angles that make you feel like the world is built only to show you exactly where your dick is going to end up. Honestly, it’s trashy in a way that feels kind of honest. Like the game knows exactly why you’re here and just leans into the mess.

It’s strange how this one tries to pretend it’s a parody while actually getting way too sincere halfway through. You start thinking it’s just cheap fanservice - Mavis smirking in that hotel corridor, Katara leaning against the pool edge - but then, out of nowhere, the dialogues start sounding like somebody’s diary. My English isn’t perfect, but even I can tell when a line hits too real. The Ren’Py interface is fine, though I got stuck trying to adjust the text speed; the button hides behind a translucent menu that looks nice but messes with screen readers. I use NVDA sometimes, and it freaked out completely during the Starfire route. Accessibility zero points there, sorry. But then again, when you’re watching Raven blush and mutter something filthy under her breath, you kind of don’t care about menus anymore.

At first, I thought the 3D models looked stiff; then I noticed how the camera lingers - not on obvious parts, but the small gestures, fingers twitching, eyes half-closed, that moment before someone decides “yeah, I want this.” It’s erotic, yes, but also messy, human. And yet, sometimes, it feels like the devs wanted to prove they could make emotional porn, only to end up making emotional confusion. Kim Possible calling you “hero” right after a scene that’s absolutely not heroic? Weirdly funny. Like the game knows it’s broken and leans into it. I swear one of the background tracks loops a single moan for ten minutes - thought my browser crashed. Didn’t. Just art, apparently.

Also, can we talk about Gwen’s route? She keeps referencing tech stuff that doesn’t exist, like “I’ll hack your desire protocol,” which sounds dumb until she actually pulls off an in-game stat change mid-dialogue. That moment made me laugh so hard I forgot what I was doing. Maybe that’s the point. It’s clumsy, horny, self-aware, and frustrating all at once. There’s no polish, but there’s personality dripping from every busted transition. I hate it. I think I love it. I don’t even know anymore.

First thing that hit me with this one was how casual it feels, like some horny side project that got out of hand in the best way. You drop into this Dragon Ball world as some dude yanked from another reality, and instead of saving planets you’re mostly trying to not get crushed between curves and power levels. It’s very “yeah yeah, plot, now let’s see what Android 18 looks like when you push her patience too far”. And it works. The 3D girls have that Koikatsu flavor, kind of doll-like but expressive enough that when Videl rolls her eyes at you, you actually feel like you earned that disrespect. Then three clicks later she’s on your lap talking way sweeter than she should, like your choices actually mattered even when they kind of didn’t. I kept clicking through scenes on autopilot and suddenly realized I’m min-maxing affection points like it’s some horny JRPG, while chilled music in the background makes it feel way more wholesome than it actually is. The soundtrack is funny in a good way, it’s lo-fi chill beats that sound like something from a 24/7 YouTube study playlist, playing over a blowjob scene. My brain was confused but also very okay with it.

The game is still rough though, and honestly that’s part of the charm. Some menus feel like they were slapped together in Ren’Py at 3 in the morning, buttons in weird places, a log that you forget exists, auto mode that goes too fast that one time and you never tweak it again. You move from Bulma teasing you in the lab, straight into Chi-Chi scolding you like a strict mom and then suddenly it’s full-on sexual and you’re like “okay, that escalated fast, but fine”. Sometimes the pacing is all over the place: one route with Android 21 takes its time, lots of flirting and little touches, and then in another scene with Android 17 it’s like he barely gives you space to breathe before you’re dragged into something you absolutely shouldn’t be enjoying, but you are. I had one moment where Videl is talking all serious about your isekai situation, and in the background the chill track is looping this same snare hit that sounds weirdly off-beat. It drove me insane. I kept thinking about that tiny sound instead of her boobs, which feels like a crime for an adult game. I never fixed it, just kept playing with this small annoyance poking my ear like a mosquito. Still, there’s this one route with 18 where she starts out cold as ice, you pick the slightly smug answers, push her just enough, and by the time she’s grinding on you while pretending she’s still in control, the lo-fi track swirling gently in the back, it all clicks. Messy, horny, kind of stupid in spots, but it scratches that “I shouldn’t enjoy fucking up the Dragon Ball canon this much” itch perfectly.

Kazuma finally gets to be the horny dirtbag the anime kept teasing, and honestly, it feels right. Adventurer Trainer throws you into Axel again, but instead of just watching Aqua be useless, you actually get to manage your days, grind a bit, talk shit to people, then end the day buried in some poor girl's pussy if you play your cards right. It runs in Ren’py, but it doesn’t feel like one of those lazy click-next-and-fap games, because half the time you’re juggling quests, gold, and figuring out how to not die to frogs while also trying to get Megumin to stop exploding everything and actually sit still long enough for you to undress her. The game is kind of ugly on purpose sometimes, like the UI just exists and doesn't care if you like it, and somehow that fits. It’s like those scuffed uploads you watch on Pornhub in incognito: rough around the edges, but you keep watching anyway because it pushes the right buttons. One moment you’re laughing at Aqua crying again, the next you’re balls deep in a fully animated scene with her squirming and whining and you’re thinking “yeah, this is exactly how this should go.”

What really hooked me was how often the game lets you be an asshole. You can play Kazuma as a semi-decent human, sure, but why would you, when the dialog clearly wants you to be a bit of a creep? There’s this event where you push Darkness into this heavy BDSM-flavored training and she pretends to be offended while literally shaking in place, begging for more abuse in that classic masochist paladin way. The writing feels like someone who actually watched Konosuba and then went “ok, but make it horny as fuck.” And then went too far. In a good way. I never thought I’d care about picking stats in a porn game, but here I am min-maxing luck so I can get better loot and also unlock just slightly more humiliating outcomes in some scenes. The romance part is funny because it's romantic only if your idea of romance is bullying girls you like until they moan your name; still, the banter is nice, sometimes even sweet when you’re alone with Rem and the tone suddenly softens and you’re like “wait, when did this stop being just porn.” It doesn’t, of course, because a few lines later you’re pounding her from behind and she’s whimpering into a pillow. The best part is how your daily choices end up stacking into little surprises. Like, I spent way too long working the guild counter, sending random adventurers to die, mostly for the money, then suddenly a chain unlocked and I’m getting thanked in a private room by a very grateful girl in a very unholy way. I could complain that the grind gets a bit annoying, or that the tavern background music loop made me mute the tab in Chrome out of spite and never turn it back on, but then I hit another animated H-scene where Megumin’s thighs are shaking and her voice is cracking and my brain kinda forgot I was annoyed at anything at all.