Argleton looks like some sleepy small town from those old Facebook farming games, but it feels more like your horny browser history got stuck inside a dating sim and started breathing. You just show up there, like it is normal that a whole city is cut off from the world, and nobody questions it. People just flirt, joke about weird stuff, and somehow every second “innocent” chat at the coffee shop ends with somebody talking about dicks or chakra or some Marvel-level mutation. It has that lazy sandbox feeling, where you’re supposed to “relax”, but every click wants to drag you into another scene with big tits in your face and a choice like “be a gentleman” or “bend her over the sink”. Sometimes both. Sometimes you pick the “nice” option and somehow still end up with her riding you in POV while making ahegao like she is trying to catch flies with her tongue.

What kills me is how the game pretends it’s all just goofy humor and slice of life, then suddenly you are in a cosplay bar talking with a Milf dressed as Chun Li, and she is asking if you prefer anal or titfuck while she strokes you under the table. You think, “ok, it is just chat teasing”, and then she pulls your cock out and starts a handjob in full view, like exhibitionism is just Tuesday here. The dialog tries to be funny, sometimes it really hits, feels like a dirty Reddit comment, sometimes it sounds like Google Translate had a stroke, which honestly fits my soul. I played on my phone in a bus with brightness too high, and of course that is exactly when some X‑Men lookalike mutant girl is sucking me off with glowing eyes and the guy next to me pretends he does not see. The animations are not Hollywood, but when a girl with thick ass bounces on you, tits jumping all over, it’s enough. Creampie shots look sticky and rude, in a good way. Then ten minutes later you are just clicking around town map again like nothing happened, stalking icons like Instagram stories.

What really messed with me is how many different flavors of horny they cram in without making a big speech about it. One scene you are giving a shy virgin a soft first-time vaginal sex in romantic candle light, POV, trying not to scare her, then later you are spanking a cosplayer dressed as Kitana, pushing a dildo in her while she laughs and begs for more. There is a lesbian thing in the park where two girls start groping each other for “practice” and drag you in like a living sex toy. A Milf neighbor with big tits uses “yoga” as excuse to grind on you until you accidentally cum on her feet and she just shrugs, wipes it, and offers a footjob “to relax you properly”. Some storylines are sweet, almost too wholesome, romance and dates and small talk, and then suddenly you are choking a girl who asked for more domination, pounding her ass and watching her roll her eyes back. The point and click stuff is simple, you tap, you choose, sometimes you grind money or affection, classic mobile time waster, but with groping in changing rooms and girls sending you masturbation clips at night. I kept taking censored screenshots for my folder and laughing, because half of them look like normal town life, and the other half is just some girl in cosplay costume, spread wide, filled with your cum like that is part of the local tourism program. It should not work, but it does.

Eva’s story doesn’t even pretend to be clean. It starts with her pretending - pretending she’s got everything under control, pretending she’s not curious, pretending those late-night messages don’t make her pulse jump. There’s something almost cruel about how the game lets you linger on her hesitation, how it slows time right before she crosses a line she swore she wouldn’t. You can feel her trying to reason with herself - then giving up. I didn’t expect the texting mechanic to be that addictive. You think you’re just choosing dialogue, but no, it’s you pushing her, pulling her, maybe ruining her. The city feels like it’s watching her too, waiting for her to slip up. It’s messy, and kind of hot in that uncomfortable way that makes you want to close the tab - but you don’t. You just keep pushing.

What caught me off guard was how the game doesn’t really reward you for doing the “right” thing. You think she’s safe with one person, and then the next scene just wrecks that illusion. The art style does this thing where it looks soft, almost innocent, and then the next frame just slaps you with something filthy - like contrast is part of the kink. I got annoyed at one point because the UI glitched during a stripping sequence and killed the mood, but then again maybe that’s just me being picky. The sound design though - too real sometimes. There’s one scene in a bathroom that made me mute the laptop because I thought someone would hear. It’s not even that graphic visually, it’s the breathing. The tiny pauses. It’s insane how much tension they packed into that.

Anyway, it’s not a “fun” game in the usual sense. It’s more like being caught reading someone’s private messages and liking it too much. I kept telling myself I’d stop after one more choice, but Eva’s slow slide into her own reflection, the way she starts liking the attention she said she hated - it’s gross, it’s hot, it’s kind of art. I don’t even know if I liked it, which probably means I did.

You win some bullshit promo lottery on your phone, tap through the spam, and suddenly you’re on this tiny island where every woman looks like she escaped from some horny artist’s sketchbook. Huge tits, perfect asses that jiggle when they walk, bikinis that are basically suggestions, not clothes. It feels like a bad ad you’d see on Pornhub, but then the game actually lets you walk around, flirt, mess up your lines, try again, push a little more, and the girls actually react instead of just being click-next dolls. One moment you’re on the beach pretending to care about her “hobbies”, next moment she’s pulling your hand to her chest, squashing your face between those ridiculous boobs, and you’re thinking “ok yeah, this is not subtle at all”. And then it gets even less subtle when she drops to her knees, opens your fly and starts a slow, shiny blowjob that’s fully animated, tongue and spit and all, and you’re kinda impressed the devs spent time on how her lips stretch around the tip instead of on the menus, which look like they were made in PowerPoint by a drunk uncle.

It plays like a dating sim that got horny and lost its shame, but in a good way. You pick dialog, you choose where to go, and somehow every decision leads closer to someone’s clothes ending on the floor or “accidentally” on the sand where everyone can see everything. There’s this one girl who keeps pretending she’s shy, hiding behind a towel, then “forgets” to tie it properly and you catch a full view of her pussy when she leans over. The game actually lets you stare, of course, and the camera doesn’t even pretend to be respectful. You can just sit there looking at her big ass, watching the animation loop of her shifting weight, cheeks bouncing slightly, and she calls you out for staring but doesn’t move away. Later, when you finally get her alone in a bungalow, she climbs on top of you, lines your cock up with her pussy and rides until you explode inside her, and you see the cum leaking out in a close-up that’s almost too much, like “ok dude, I get it, you like creampies, chill”. I didn’t chill, by the way.

The island is small but the game keeps finding excuses to throw dirty situations at you. You sit at a bar and some chick with massive tits asks if she can “use your lap as a seat”, then pretends to adjust herself until your dick is lined right up under her. There’s a stupid mini-massage thing at the spa where your “hands” definitely spend more time on nipples than on muscles. One scene that stuck with me is when you sneak around some bushes at night, and the game doesn’t even pretend you’re not a perv. You find two girls playing with a vibrator under the moonlight, one of them lying on a beach towel, legs wide, fingers digging into the sand while the other presses the toy inside her, then pulls it out slick and shiny. You can just watch, listen to the moans, see her tits bouncing every time she jerks, and then the game gives you the option to “join in” like you’re ordering another drink. Sometimes the pacing is weird, like the game jumps from slow teasing footjob, her toes sliding along your shaft while she grins at you, straight to full-on titfuck where her giant boobs wrap you up and you cum all over her face and chest in the next scene with barely a line in between. But whatever, it’s porn logic. There’s even little bits where you catch girls masturbating alone in their rooms if you show up at the “wrong” time, like one lying on her stomach, grinding on a pillow, moaning into it while the camera basically crawls between her thighs. And then three clicks later she’s acting like nothing happened, which makes no sense, but by that point your dick doesn’t really care about lore.

Four idiots walk into a cursed sex temple and somehow you are the most reasonable one there. That alone made me laugh. The game throws you right into this horny fantasy mess where every corridor feels like it was built by a pervert architect who failed religious school. Everything is text, slow and chatty, with 2D art sliding in at the most painful moments to really show how badly your party is losing their dignity. One minute you are planning the usual stuff, checking stats, poking at dialogue options, and the next the elf ranger is pressed up against a glowing wall that reacts to her lust like it is reading her browser history. Her curse makes her go from “professional archer” to “walking porn addiction” so gradually you almost don’t see the line where she stops pretending to resist. There was this scene where I tried to play her as stoic, all self control and discipline, but the game kept slipping in those little text hints like “her fingers twitch near the hem of her panties” and I caught myself thinking “ok just give her one orgasm as a treat” like some shitty pet owner.

The dom energy in this thing is sneaky. On paper you are the tough mercenary with the sword and the scars and the big “I’m in charge” vibe, but often it feels like you are the chew toy in a world that really loves collars. The tiefling warlock is the worst offender and also the best. She talks like she could bench press you with magic and spit on you at the same time, and the writing keeps pushing you into this constant wrestling match with her ego. I tried to humble her once, took the most aggressive dialogue choices I could, and the game answered with a scene where she lets you think you are winning just long enough before turning it into something like, “Oh you thought topping me meant you were in control?” She’s still clearly directing how filthy it gets, just while sitting on your face. The priestess is a whole other problem. She starts all holy and adorable, and the quest text keeps playing this tension where every “pure” option has that faint smell of “corruption later, promise.” I picked the kind path, tried to keep her chaste, and the game rewarded me with her whispering shy, fucked up things she clearly should not know, complete with little exhibitionist accidents around town that very much do not feel accidental. It is sweet and also so, so wrong.

What surprised me is how much this feels like an actual RPG in between the horny disasters. You go around town, pick up side quests that look normal and then tilt into perversion like someone spilled lube on the story. There was a fetch quest that started like “help the baker” and ended with my party standing half naked in a back room, covered in flour and shame, because I misjudged an “offer help” dialogue choice that was absolutely not about bread. Combat exists, but mostly I treated it like foreplay, another way to get everyone more messed up, more cursed, more willing to show skin where they really shouldn’t. Exhibitionism is not just a fetish checkbox here, it crawls into how you move through the world. Walk into town in slightly kinky gear and the text notices, people stare, descriptions linger on how the wind hits bare thighs, how the priestess blushes when her robe “accidentally” rides up, how the ranger pretends she hates the eyes on her while her lust score ticks higher anyway. The game keeps poking you with choices that feel like tests. Help your party break free or gently push them over the edge and watch them like it. Tease them along, hold their leashes just loose enough so they think they’re still heroes and not temple pets in training. It is sloppy at times, some lines are clunky, a few scenes feel like the writer was horny and tired at the same time, but honestly that only makes it feel more real, like chat logs you shouldn’t be reading at work. I closed it and immediately opened it again because I remembered I forgot to check what happens if I let the warlock boss me around in that one particular ritual room with the chains on the ceiling. Priorities.