Guy shows up in the capital with one braincell goal: “I want to stop jerking off alone.” That’s it. No grand plan, no deep life purpose, just horny ambition and a packed underwear situation. Then game looks at him and says “cute, but no” and throws this smoking hot mystery woman in his way who basically speedruns his whole life into a weird sex RPG. It feels like the universe matched him with a chaotic cougar dungeon master on Tinder and he clicked “accept” without reading the profile.

The funny part is how it keeps pretending to be a serious fantasy quest while you’re literally peeking through keyholes to see bored wives doing self-care with toys because their husbands are away "at war" or whatever excuse. One moment I was trying to min-max charisma to unlock some noble lady route, next moment I’m in a barn, hand halfway up some stacked farmer’s wife’s dress, trying to hit a “don’t get caught” prompt while a cow looks at me like I’m the weird one. The game loves these tiny point & click puzzles where the reward is “you get to touch her tits” instead of gold, and somehow that works. Sometimes you just click everything on the screen like a monkey until you find the one thing that lets you progress to the next sex scene. I hate that. I also did it happily for an hour straight.

It feels like someone mashed an old-school dating sim with a horny fantasy DnD campaign and then forgot to balance anything. You think you’re doing smart choices, planning routes, managing affection like some romance spreadsheet in Google Sheets, and then a random milf with her tits almost falling out just leans over a table and suddenly all your planning becomes “ok I click the lewd option, who cares about consequences.” I tried to be a gentleman at first, then the game starts throwing masturbation scenes at you where your character is literally jerking it while spying through a window, and at that point my moral high ground just packed its bags and left. The animated bits are surprisingly expressive, like, you really feel when a hand slides under cloth or when someone gets groped in a dark hallway and gasps just a bit too loud. Sometimes I wished the sandbox stuff had more teeth, more risk, more people getting actually mad at me. It probably never will, and fine, I keep touching everything anyway. The humor is stupid and horny in that “I shouldn’t laugh but I do” way, like a cursed Discord server meme with boobs. Half the time I forgot what the main quest even is, because every side path is another frustrated woman, some magical creature with nice hips, and my idiot hero thinking with his dick and still, somehow, stumbling closer to being a legend instead of a public nuisance.

Alex isn’t some blank-slate hero. He’s tired, horny, confused, and still stupidly in love with his wife. The game throws you right into his messages, like you’re scrolling through someone’s private phone. Julia’s texts feel too real - half sweet, half cold - and when she starts posting those late-night blog updates, you can’t help but dig deeper. There’s that sick thrill of spying on someone you shouldn’t, mixed with the ache of wanting her back. You’ll find yourself switching between guilt and arousal faster than you can type a reply. It’s voyeurism wrapped in heartbreak, and it hits harder than expected.

The choices don’t just flip a switch - they twist the knife. One moment you’re convincing her to talk, the next you’re watching her “experiment” with another man while you pretend it’s fine. The game doesn’t hold your hand; it lets you drown in your own jealousy or curiosity. The sandbox bits let you chase different routes: rebuild what’s broken, open the door to other lovers, or just spiral into full-blown NTR madness. And yeah, the sex scenes go all in - no fade-to-black bullshit. Julia’s moans sound like confessions, not performances. Sometimes she’s teasing through the camera, sometimes begging, sometimes letting someone else touch her while you watch, and it’s messy and hot and awful in the best way.

What really got me though was how alive everyone feels. Chad’s that idiot friend who somehow gives good advice between dick jokes. The twins show up later and completely derail any moral compass you thought you had. Monster girls, MILFs, even a shy lesbian side route - it’s all there, tangled in one big horny emotional disaster. The writing swings from romantic to filthy without warning, and I kinda love that. It’s not polished, not safe, but damn if it doesn’t feel human. You’ll hate yourself for caring, then get off anyway.

It’s weird how this game feels both filthy and kinda wholesome at the same time. Like, you’re just a farmer, right? Doing your chores, minding your crops, and suddenly there’s this pig-girl princess showing up in your barn acting like she owns the place. She’s spoiled as hell but somehow adorable, rolling her eyes while asking you to “show her how humans do it.” The writing doesn’t even pretend to be subtle - one second you’re talking about feeding pigs, next thing you’re milking something that definitely isn’t a cow. The transitions are janky in a funny way, like the devs knew exactly what they were doing and didn’t care if it made sense. Honestly, I respect that kind of chaos.

The humor hits that perfect spot between dumb and clever. There’s a scene where the royal advisor tries to lecture you about “proper conduct with livestock” while you’re literally hiding behind hay bales with the princess moaning your name. It’s stupidly hot and stupidly funny. And the futa twist? Didn’t see that coming (pun totally intended). The first time it happens, you just stare for a second like - wait, did that just grow? But it works because the tone never shifts into serious mode; it stays playful, teasing, constantly flirting with absurdity. There’s even a lactation gag that somehow turns into a group scene, and by then you’ve stopped questioning logic entirely. You just go with it.

I kinda wish the farmer had more dialogue options though; sometimes he just grunts or blushes when you want him to say something dirtier. But maybe that’s part of the charm - you project your own filth onto him. The art style’s got that soft, round look that makes everything feel warm even when it’s absolute debauchery. And yeah, I laughed out loud when the princess called herself “royal pork” mid-handjob. Who writes that? Whoever they are, they get it. It’s horny, messy, self-aware, and doesn’t apologize for any of it.

You’re the poor bastard who climbed the ladder just high enough that nobody shoots you, but everybody dumps their shit on your desk. Whole galaxy is rotting, planets choking on smog, priests screaming about purity, and you’re in a cramped office where the lights buzz like insects while you decide if some mining colony gets air filters or “thoughts and prayers.” And right in the middle of that, you keep tripping over women who want to fuck you, argue with you, manipulate you, or all three at once. Not because you’re some chosen hero, but because your signature can save their lives or destroy their whole world, and in this empire, pussy is just another kind of paperwork.

You start as this awkward virgin clerk who suddenly has real power, and the game never lets you forget how weird that is. One moment you’re reading a report about famine on a frozen shithole planet, next moment a bored noble MILF is sitting too close on your couch, pretending she’s worried about “trade quotas” while her hand creeps up your thigh. She’s old enough to have kids in the guard, tits poured into some ridiculous formal dress, and she’s treating your office like it’s a private bedroom. You can push her away and grill her about corruption, or you grab her hair and she drops on her knees between your legs and starts sucking like this is the only way she remembers how to negotiate. The game is blunt about it: she wants a better result on your decision, and she’s ready to slobber on your cock for it, lipstick smeared, eyes watering, trying to moan around your dick while you skim her file. And it’s fucked up, because while she’s gagging on you, you’re also actually reading the numbers and thinking, “yeah, this planet is screwed.”

That’s kind of how the whole thing feels: serious and horny at the same time, like someone mashed a grim sci fi bureaucracy sim with a porn VN and just didn’t apologize. There’s this cute junior scribe who brings you data slates and looks like she’s gonna burst from stress, and if you’re gentle, she slowly cracks, starts opening up about how terrified she is of getting reassigned to some nightmare warzone. First time you manage to calm her down, she leaves… but if you keep backing her, she eventually turns up in your room, shutting the door, cheeks red, hands shaking as she offers herself like she’s filing a desperate last-minute request. She’s still technically the one begging, but you KNOW the power is in your hands when she climbs into your lap and whispers that she’s never done this before, then winces as you push inside her, tight and wet and clinging to your shirt so hard the fabric creaks. And right after you finish, there’s this short, shitty silence, like “ok, cool, now you both work in the same office tomorrow.” No magic romance fade-out, just sticky thighs and a stack of forms on the desk you still have to sign.

What caught me was how your traits twist those scenes. Pick paranoid and you’re double-checking everyone, even when some guardwoman with arms thicker than your waist is riding your dick in a barracks bunk, using you like a toy because she’s lonely and half drunk, and your brain is still going “is she trying to get a transfer out of that meat grinder of a front line?” Go empath and it actually stings when a woman offers her body like it’s the last thing she has left to bargain with. You can still grab her by the hips and fuck her raw over your office table, her moans mixing with the quiet hum of cogitators, but it hits different when you realize her whole world literally hangs on the word you’re going to stamp on that form after you pull out and she’s dripping on your paperwork. The art has that rough AI feel sometimes, but every now and then a scene lands just right: a milf with tired eyes but a hungry mouth, a scared virgin biting her lip while you push in slowly, a smirking manipulator who’s clearly enjoying the game more than you are. It’s messy, it’s not “nice,” and it leans into the idea that in this empire, romance, lust, fear, and red tape are all the same fucking language. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?