Vault Wanderer is one of those horny little parody projects that feels like it started as a shitpost between friends on Discord and somehow became an actual game. You play this guy who crawls out of a comfy underground vault into a wasteland that is less about radiation and more about who is fucking who, and with what. The whole thing mixes classic turn based RPG combat with stupid jokes and very explicit scenes that just kind of slam into you out of nowhere. One second you are clicking through some goofy dialogue about bottle caps, the next you are watching a futa raider get her dick sucked in a surprisingly long animated loop while your character pretends he is not into it. The game loves voyeurism like crazy. Almost every location has some “oops I walked in on them” moment, except it is never really an accident and everybody is cool with you standing in the corner jerking off. Or pretending to “research.” The writing knows exactly what it is doing: it makes fun of the wasteland clichés, then uses the same clichés to justify a harem route where every big tits, big ass, wrong-race-for-this-town waifu somehow ends up in your camp.

What surprised me most is how messy but confident the sandbox structure is. You are just dropped on the surface with this point and click map and told to explore, and the game absolutely does not care if you go straight to a lesbian futa bar and stall your “main quest” for two hours doing nothing except footjobs and blowjobs in different outfits. There is real RPG stuff happening in the background: stats, turn based fights, random encounters that sometimes end in actual combat and sometimes turn straight into oral sex scenes if you pick the horny dialogue option. I lost one fight because I was too distracted watching the enemy’s boobs bounce in the attack animation, which is a stupid reason to reload, but here we are. The art is simple 2D CG but the animations have just enough motion to make the scenes feel alive without turning into weird rubber people. Some of the interracial setups are actually hot, then the game drops a joke so bad it short circuits the mood and you kind of hate it for ten seconds, until the next harem scene where three girls are roleplaying “capturing” you and you forget you were mad. The mobile support is oddly good too; I tried it on my phone while half-slouching on the couch with Chrome open and it ran smoother than some serious games on Steam. Sometimes the text spacing gets fucked on smaller screens and nobody bothered to fix it, which annoyed me for like a full minute while I was trying to read a masturbation scene and the last line wrapped in a stupid way, and then I clicked next and forgot. That is basically the whole vibe here: horny, rough around edges, a little broken, but when the wasteland mommy with huge boobs kneels down for oral and the camera zooms in just right, your brain stops caring about polish completely.

There’s this weird cozy-horny vibe to Growth Academy that kinda sneaks up on you. At first it feels like some chill school-life VN where you just arrived on this hidden island college, meet a couple of classmates with too-big sweaters and oddly shy teachers, and you think “ok, normal harem setup, I know this”. Then suddenly someone’s boobs are stretching her uniform day by day, another girl’s ass doesn’t fit in her chair anymore, and the game just treats it like it’s as normal as exchanging Line IDs. I liked that actually. Nobody is screaming “oh no I am a freak of nature”, it is more like “my tits grew two sizes again, can you help me carry my books” and then five minutes later you are face first in her cleavage. The whole place feels like a horny rehab center where the cure is more sex. Also the island lore is lowkey interesting even when you came only to see giant jiggling body parts crash into doorframes. I kept telling myself “okay one more scene then I close it and touch grass” and suddenly I’m trying to max out affection with a girl whose thighs could crush a small car, just because I wanted to see what happens if she really lets go during sex. Spoiler: she does not hold back.

The erotic part leans hard into growth, but it does not rush. Some routes are very slow burn, you watch a girl’s body change over many days, clothes getting tighter, camera angles getting more pervy, your MC pretending he is surprised even though you obviously keep choosing the horny dialogue. One of my favorite moments was sneaking into the dorm at night and the game casually drops a sleep sex scene like “oh yeah this is a thing here”. No drama, just you sliding under the covers, touching big warm flesh in the dark while the UI quietly pops up new corruption flags. Then later the same girl acts all innocent in class, except she can’t button her shirt anymore and the teacher keeps looking and you feel like everyone is lying to each other and it turns you on more. There’s futa stuff, lesbian scenes behind the gym, some dommy girls that use you like a toy, a succubus who basically blackmails you with your own dick, group sessions that feel like a school project gone very wrong, and a few “oh shit, did that just count as cheating” moments that made me pause for like two seconds before clicking “continue”. I wish they would stop teasing pregnancy and then not go full explicit with it, but I get it, I still hate it. Also there’s this whole persona-ish schedule and dungeon tone in the background where you manage days, build stats, poke at mysteries, but half the time I forgot about the big island secret and just chased bigger tits and thicker asses like some caveman with a smartphone. It’s messy, horny, kind of clumsy at times, some scenes hit like top tier hentai, some feel like they were written at 4% brain battery, but it has that “one more click” energy that makes you keep an incognito tab open way longer than you plan.

This one feels like somebody smashed together a horny occult movie, a fucked up dating sim and a sandbox where every hot woman you meet secretly wants to own you, hurt you, or both. You start as this pretty normal guy who thinks he’s in control, then the game keeps dropping these weird rituals, blood-slick symbols, candles burning in rooms they shouldn’t exist in, and every time you think “ok, this is just edge for style” you suddenly wake up chained, naked, with a smiling milf witch asking you very calmly which hole is your favorite. The tone is that perfect mix of “I’m scared of this monster girl” and “please step on me harder, mommy”. There’s futa cult leaders with cocks that look like they were drawn by someone who hates spines, demon girls with claws on your throat while they ride you raw, and that one pale priestess who never raises her voice but will make you lick her boots while she fucks another guy right in front of you, just to see your face twist.

What really got me is how the control keeps shifting without warning. One scene you’re the “master” who just bought a slave, clicking through options like you’re the big boss, and five minutes later she’s got a collar on you instead, grinding her big ass on your mouth while you’re tied to the floor, and the UI is like “accept humiliation?” as if that is even a question. I laughed, then I clicked yes. The sex itself is dirty in a good way: sloppy oral where you can actually see spit and tears, anal that doesn’t pretend to be all romantic, toys shoved in you or them while they whisper shit about how you’re not a person, you’re a thing. One cosplay scene had this “innocent” nun outfit on a thick milf with huge tits, but when she opens her mouth she talks like a crime boss, orders you to eat her out while her futa bodyguard pushes your head deeper. There is some real graphic violence mixed in there too, like ritual cuts in the skin and bruises after harsher bdsm scenes, nothing soft-focus. Animations are decent and sometimes weirdly stiff, but in a way that made it feel more like a messed up puppet show, which kinda fits the occult vibe anyway.

It’s “sandbox” but not that fake kind where you only have two options that are actually the same. You wander around on your phone screen, jump between locations, trigger stuff in the wrong order, and suddenly a jealous monster girl shows up in a scene where she clearly wasn’t “supposed” to be and starts choking you while your current dom pretends you’re just furniture. I opened it during a coffee break on Android once and immediately had a fullscreen close-up of a cult milf sitting on my face, her thighs squeezing, text box calling me her “favorite disposable toy”. Almost dropped my phone. The ntr hits you like that too, with quiet moments: you stand there useless while a powerful futa takes your girl, or your “slave” laughs and calls someone else “master” right in front of you, and your only actual input is how much you beg. There is one tiny thing that annoyed me: sometimes the text window covers the good part of the blowjob, like it knows exactly what you’re staring at and blocks it out on purpose, and I keep trying to drag it away even though I know it won’t move. Anyway, if you like that yandere energy where love means “I own your soul and your ass and your mouth and you are not allowed to look at anyone else”, this whole occult sex cult city feels like home, just a very bloody, sticky one.

Reborn in this world, you don’t start as some overpowered hentai demigod. You start small, weak, awkward, staring at stat screens like a horny nerd who suddenly woke up inside the fantasy game he used to jerk off to. It feels weirdly familiar, all those windows and numbers and skills, like someone mashed together an isekai anime, Pornhub tags, and a DnD character sheet, then said “yeah, now suffer for it.” The beginning actually made me laugh, in that “oh shit, that would be me” way, watching this guy (or futa, if you go that road) try to figure out how to use magic and how not to die on the first dungeon floor while getting distracted by every pair of tits in a ten-meter radius.

The mood swings a lot. One moment you’re counting turns in combat, trying to squeeze out that last spell with barely any mana, the next you’re getting pinned against a wall by some smug monster girl with too many curves and way too much confidence. The harem thing doesn’t just fall in your lap, you kind of earn it through quests, choices, and that slightly evil curiosity that makes you pick the option you probably shouldn’t. There is this early dungeon where you walk in thinking “ok, grind a bit, gain some XP” and end up bargaining with a horny plant girl that really, really wants to see what you can do from behind. Strategy suddenly becomes “how many skills can I use before I’m literally drained in every sense.” And I liked that the futa angle is there like a temptation, not shoved down your throat unless you ask for it. You can stay vanilla cock, or you can wake up with something extra between your legs and a whole new way to ruin NPCs. Choice hits different when it’s about what kind of dick you swing.

What surprised me most is how often I forgot I was playing a porn game and not some half-janky, half-charming RPG on itch.io. The humor lands more often than it should, with those little comments about EXP farming, hentai logic, and how nobody in fantasy worlds knows what a condom is. Sometimes the text rambles, sometimes the pacing trips, like the dev got lost in their own horny brain and just went “fuck it, more dialogue, more teasing,” and I kinda love that. There is one scene in particular, in a deeper dungeon level, where you’re low on health, you win a fight by like one lucky hit, and instead of a normal reward you get this cocky demon girl asking if the hero who nearly died wants to “use her body as a potion.” It’s porn logic, but the teasing before the actual sex is long enough you start clicking faster, half annoyed, half turned on, like a degenerate trying to skip ads on xHamster. The AI CG sometimes looks a bit off, a hand here, a weird strand of hair there, and it annoyed me way more than it should. I stared at that one broken finger in a blowjob scene far too long, and it lives in my head rent free now. Still, the mix of turn based combat, dumb jokes, fantasy races throwing themselves at you, anal and vaginal scenes popping up like loot drops, and that feeling of slowly building a harem through stats and bad decisions... I’d honestly give it “Best Use of Bad Life Choices in a Fantasy Harem” and not even say it as a joke. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?