First thing that hit me with this game: it feels like someone mashed together horny fanfic, half-drunk meme chat, and a dirty point & click, then said “yeah, good enough” and pushed it online. You’re basically the sneaky bastard behind the Eye, still hanging around after the whole ring drama, poking at Middle Earth like it’s your personal cosplay convention. Except instead of worrying about badge lines and panel times like me, you’re planning how to get Galadriel out of her shiny white queen aura and into a collar while she calls you “master” with that proud face breaking piece by piece. The whole thing runs like one of those old Flash trainer games, with you clicking around locations, spying, blackmailing, nudging stats, and watching these famous ladies go from “who the hell are you” to “yes, I’ll strip in front of the mirror if you tell me I’m a good girl.” It’s stupid, it’s crass, and I kept playing anyway.

The art is fake-AI Middle Earth porn, which sounds awful but kind of works. You’ve got Galadriel with ridiculous tits, ass that absolutely doesn’t exist in canon, and outfits that look more like con-floor cosplay than elf royalty. Sometimes her face shifts between scenes like she got recast mid-episode, but whatever, you’re not here for consistency, you’re here to watch her bend over while you smack her ass and she pretends she still has dignity. One of my favorite messed up parts is how the game leans into voyeur stuff: tiny events where you peek on a “pure” heroine bathing, or you freeze time with some bullshit ring power and grope her while she’s “asleep”, then later she wonders why she’s suddenly wet just from your voice. And you’re sitting there, typing emails in Gmail in one window, and in the other you’re sliding a corruption bar up while an elf queen is on her knees licking your boots, asking for more punishment because you humiliated her in front of the orcs. Completely normal lunch break behavior.

What surprised me was how much it leans into cosplay vibes. Outfits are half the fun. You don’t just get the girls naked, you put them in dumb lewd costumes that look like someone raided the “sexy LOTR” tag on TikTok: fake battle armor bikini, slutty ranger, fake maid in Rivendell for no reason at all. There’s this goofy scene where you “train” one of them to serve drinks at a tavern, and it slowly turns into you spanking her behind the counter every time she messes up, while the patrons pretend not to notice. Another time you force a proud milf character to parade around in sheer clothes in broad daylight, clicking to see her reactions while passersby stare. The writing flips between actually funny jokes about lore and pure porn dialogue like “use me, dark lord” in the same breath. Sometimes the pacing is trash and you click through the same teasing scene five times waiting for the next stage of corruption, but then you get a new animation where you’re fucking a once-untouchable heroine against a stone wall, her face ruined with mascara tears, and all that earlier annoyance just kind of… vanishes. It’s messy, shameless, and absolutely not something I want on my browser history at work, which is exactly why I keep re-opening it in incognito and telling myself it’s “for research.”