Crossunder Academy looks at you and goes, “yeah, you’re the new kid, you don’t know shit, but here, have power anyway.” You roll in thinking it’s just another school VN with some tits glued on, and then they throw you into the Student Council and suddenly you’re the class president, fake tie, fake responsibilities, and very real chances to fuck half the campus if you don’t screw it up. It starts tame, like a dating sim pretending to be serious: club budgets, school events, that kind of filler. Then you figure out every boring “proposal” conversation is basically foreplay. The shy club rep who wants more money for “equipment” leans over your desk a bit too far, blouse a little too tight, and you’ve got the classic choice pop-up: act professional, tease her, or slide right into horny territory and test how far she’s willing to go to get that funding. You know which one you click. Don’t lie.

The fun part is how it mixes the puzzle feeling with porn without turning into some clicker trash. You’re not matching gems or anything stupid like that, you’re juggling scenes. Say the wrong thing to one girl and she gets jealous when you’re alone with her teacher later, and suddenly that nice slow blowjob under the desk becomes “sorry, I can’t, people will talk.” Say the right thing and the same teacher is on her knees, glasses fogged up, working your cock like she’s grading on a curve. Some routes feel like you’re solving a horny jigsaw puzzle with horny pieces. You’re planning event schedules while secretly thinking, “ok, if Hermione-clone student nerd and that thick aunt-looking lunch lady are both there, can I push them into some exhibitionist shit?” and sometimes the game actually lets you pull it off. There are moments where the camera settles into POV and it’s just you, her big tits pressed right into the frame, your cock between them for a messy titfuck, and the sound design goes from cartoony to “oh, someone actually cared here.” Then next scene a different girl is doing this ahegao face like she’s auditioning for a meme compilation and it almost kills the mood, but you keep clicking because, well, creampie counter is not going to fill itself.

It leans hard into the fantasy faculty and campus girls archetypes. You’ve got the prim bookworm who clearly wants to be ruined in the library after hours, the fake innocent student council girl who’s absolutely into groping behind closed doors, the curvy “tradwife” type who talks about cooking and chores while riding you raw, and that one busty older woman that might as well have “MILF” written on her forehead. Half the time you’re trying to act like a respectable president in meetings, half the time you’re lining up which corridor to “inspect” so you can corner someone and see how far she’ll go if the hallway cameras are “mysteriously” off. There’s teasing everywhere, a little too much sometimes: she’s in your lap, skirt hiked up, grinding on you, moaning in your ear about how wrong it is in a school setting, and the scene still stalls until you pick the right dialog line before it lets you finally push inside. When it does click though, the game doesn’t flinch: deep throat, sloppy oral, thick ass bouncing in your lap, cum inside, cum outside, cum on her face while she’s making that stupid cross-eyed expression. It’s messy, a bit goofy, sometimes hot as hell, sometimes clunky as fuck, but it feels like an actual degenerate school fantasy where your choices matter just enough to make you paranoid you missed one more filthy route.

Snake Siemen is such a dumb name that it kinda works, which is the whole vibe of this game anyway. You’re basically Talon’s horny intern, except Doomfist actually trusts you with something ridiculous: break D.Va. Not just capture, not just fuck, but twist her from cutesy idol pilot into Talon’s personal cock-hungry asset. The story pretends to be serious sci-fi for like two minutes, then you’re already in a room with D.Va strapped down, squirming, still talking shit and trying to act brave while you decide if you’re going to go soft psychological route or straight-up “you’re mine now” brainwashing. I liked that her voice has that annoyed, bratty pitch, like a streamer forced to shill some crappy mobile game, but under it you can hear a little shake when Snake starts touching her without asking. The moans shift from “ugh, don’t touch me” to “f-fuck, don’t stop” pretty slowly and it’s actually hot as hell watching (and hearing) her get rewired day by day. Sometimes she sounds too clean, though, like the mic is high quality but the emotion is not always there. Still, when she gasps your name during a forced blowjob scene and there’s this wet choked sound as you push deeper, I had to pause the game and just breathe for a second.

What made me stick around is how mean you’re allowed to be without the game flinching. You can keep her in that tight Talon bodysuit just so your hands have more material to grab while you grope her tits and ass, fingers digging in while you whisper trash into her ear, and then flip straight into a mind control trigger where her eyes glaze over and her voice goes flat, like she’s reading a sponsor script. “Talon-sama, please use my throat.” It sounds so silly written out but in context, with that slightly fake idol voice trying to act obedient, it hits hard. The Widowmaker and Sombra stuff sneaks up later, which is funny, because the first time Sombra shows up she basically hijacks your fun and you have this three-way power struggle: you, her, and D.Va’s brain. There’s a scene where Sombra is pressing D.Va’s head down on your cock, talking in that smug voice, while you feel D.Va’s tongue hesitate, then slowly give in. The audio there is great, lots of sloppy sounds, little gagging, that muffled whine when you grab her hair and drive her all the way to the base. I wish Widowmaker had more interesting lines instead of just cool assassin porn talk, but whatever, her cold tone when she calls D.Va “Talon’s little toy” had me rewinding on VLC like three times.

The domination vibe is very clearly from the male side, no confusion here. You’re not some nice guy, you’re basically HR’s worst nightmare with a budget and a private cell. There’s corruption, there’s conditioning, you press her against cold walls, you make her kneel, you reward her with your cum like it’s a promotion. At one point you use a command phrase and she drops mid-sentence, falls to her knees and starts unzipping your pants like it’s the most natural thing in the world, mumbling that she “needs to serve Talon properly” while her lips wrap around you. That line reading is a bit stiff, but the way her breathing speeds up when you grab her head and hold her there is the good stuff. It’s not subtle. It’s not sweet. It feels like some cursed mobile porn game ad that actually followed through on the fantasy it teased, instead of bait and switch. And yeah, it’s totally wrong, and that’s exactly why it sticks in your head long after you close the browser and pretend to check Outlook.

You wake up and it’s just… wrong. Not hell, not heaven, more like the horny waiting room nobody told you about. This smug bitch in heels, Miss Fortune, sits there with that “I own your soul and your dick” vibe, talking to you like she already read your browser history twice. She explains you’re dead way too casually, then basically offers you this cursed-sex-tour through a fantasy world where goblins are everywhere and somehow everyone has ridiculous boobs and zero shame. It feels like someone mixed hentai logic with a fucked-up fairy tale and then said “yeah, that’s enough plot, now go fuck things.” The writing leans into it too. Miss Fortune teases you every time you think you’re in control, like she’s watching from some upper menu, laughing when you pick the degenerate option… which is all of them, honestly.

The actual wandering around is more fun than it should be. You walk into a tavern expecting the usual boring NPC talk and instead there’s this big-titted goblin girl leaning over the counter like she’s about to fall out of her clothes on purpose. I picked the “play it cool” dialogue, and five clicks later I’m balls deep in her, she’s riding me on a dirty table, boobs bouncing everywhere, and the game throws in a titfuck scene just because it can. No fade to black, no “are you sure”, just “you touched her, now deal with it.” Some scenes are rough in that kinky way, with ropes and collars and that bastard feeling of “I probably deserve this.” One goblin dom literally drags your character around by the leash and talks shit like she’s streaming on Twitch. It’s funny and hot and a bit stupid, but in a good way. Then sometimes the pacing is weird, like you go from filthy BDSM dungeon to awkward small-talk with some random NPC with no transition, and the horny mood falls flat for a minute. Also there was one chest in a cave I clicked three times and nothing happened and now I hate that chest forever. But then you run into some new character who calls you a “useless dead meat toy” and grinds on your face and you forget you were annoyed. It’s that kinda experience. Messy, horny as fuck, not pretending to be deep, just constantly tossing you into new goblin sex trouble while Miss Fortune smirks like she planned it from the start.

You start as this scrawny kid who basically got fucked by life before he even hit puberty. Happy little home, mom who actually cares, then some random pirate bastards show up, burn everything, and steal her away like she’s just another treasure chest. He grows up with that hole in his chest, clinging to this “justice” idea, so he joins the marines thinking he’s gonna be a hero. Of course that goes to shit. The game doesn’t waste time pretending the marines are noble. You find out they’re corrupt as hell, they use people, they throw innocents away, and you’re just another disposable grunt. That whole part actually hits harder than I expected in a porn game. One moment you’re chasing promotion, next moment you’re watching “justice” torture someone and you realize you’re the bad guy. Then he flips the table and goes full pirate. Not the Luffy idiot kind, more like “I’ll use this world’s filth to get my mom back and have fun while I’m at it” kind of pirate.

And his fun? Yeah, that’s where the akuma-no-mi comes in. It’s this weird fruit that takes forever to awaken, then suddenly you’re controlling desire like it’s another limb. Not boring mind control, more like you twist reality just a bit and push people right to the edge where they want to be used. So when he picks up his “crew” made entirely of One Piece girls, it’s basically every horny fanfic from old forums mashed together, but actually interactive. Nami acting bitchy and money hungry but melting when you push her into a corner and make her pay her “debt” with a sloppy titfuck on the captain’s chair. Robin, all calm and clever, letting you tie her up and pretend you’re interrogating a dangerous criminal while your hands are everywhere, from her huge tits to her ass, and she’s trying to keep a straight face and failing. Nojiko with that fake tough attitude, straddling you for a slow, wet vaginal ride after a long argument where she pretends she doesn’t want it. Mozu being the surprise favorite, by the way, because there’s this one voyeurism scene where you catch her masturbating in a storage room, whispering your name, thinking you’re not around. You can walk away like a gentleman or just step out, grab her by the hair, and finish what she started. Guess which one I picked. The game loves teasing that choice thing, like a low budget “choose your own adventure” but with way more cum and way less dignity.

The tone jumps between adventure story and straight up pervy as hell. One moment you’re sailing after rumors of the Straw Hats, the next you’re balls deep in some crazy group scene with Nami, Robin and Nojiko taking turns on your cock while the others watch through a crack in the door. The akuma-no-mi lets you push them into stuff they’d “never do” in the original anime, so you get anal drills, messy creampies, tentacle bullshit with sea kings you bait on purpose, toys shoved where they shouldn’t fit, even some heavy female domination moments where Nami literally rides your face and tells you a “real captain” should know how to serve. Sometimes the pacing is weird, like you’re in the middle of a dramatic revelation about your mother and suddenly it cuts to a footjob scene on the deck, toes wrapped around your shaft while you’re trying to care about the plot. Also, whoever decided to make the main character a virgin at the start but then instantly turns him into this sex god after the fruit awakens clearly has never touched a real human body. And I swear, the little UI camera icon for voyeur scenes is like two pixels too far to the right and it drives me insane every time. But when you’re watching Nami and Robin go full lesbian on each other, tongues deep, fingers everywhere, your brain kinda forgets to complain. The game knows exactly what it is: a messy fantasy where justice is fake, pirates are hot, and every big ass and big tits in this universe eventually ends up sweating and moaning under you, or on top of you, or around you, or all three at once.