Plague in the kingdom, king on his throne shitting himself in fear, and you, the poor bastard who has to walk into a cursed forest with a cute elf wife who is way too good for you. That is the whole mood of Cursed Forest Quest – you are technically the hero, but it always feels like the story is asking what happens if the hero is soft, horny, and just a bit unlucky. Vallabelle, your elven wife, is the kind priestess type with huge tits, a perfect ass that does not make physical sense for an elf, and a smile that makes you think “ok, she is totally loyal, it’s fine” while the game quietly laughs in the background. The early scenes sell this perfect couple thing hard: sharing a campfire, she heals your wounds, teases you with a slow handjob as a reward for surviving the day, rides you with that soft priestess moaning, and you think, alright, wholesome, I can relax. Then the forest basically says, no, fuck you, this is a cursed land, and starts poking that little insecurity in your brain every time some other guy looks at her for more than two seconds.

What I liked too much, embarrassingly, is how the game uses “small” moments to kick you in the balls. For example, first time you get to a ruined shrine, there is a choice: go search for relics, or send Vallabelle to talk with the local spirit while you check the perimeter. I just clicked through, not thinking, checked a bush that had literally nothing important, and when I came back, the scene cut to Vallabelle slightly flushed, her robe messed up, her tits kind of out, spirit fading away, and her going “it’s fine, just a blessing.” That moment stuck in my head longer than the full-on vaginal scenes. Not even a big animation there, only small touches, like her avoiding eye contact. Later on there is an actual animated scene with her getting pounded against a forest altar, ass bouncing, moans way louder than anything she ever did for you, and that felt almost less cruel than that earlier half-harassment vibe, where you are not sure what happened but your dick and your stomach both react. By the way, the spanking stuff is weirdly casual here. Sometimes you get to spank her playfully as a “punishment” for teasing you in front of a guard, and she giggles and presses that big ass into your hand. Another time, some other guy does a very similar smack, and suddenly the camera lingers way too long, and she bites her lip in a way she never did for you. I hated that. I also replayed that branch three times to see if her expression changes with different quest choices. It barely does, which somehow turns me on more. The game likes to pretend you have control with all the quests and paths, and yeah, there are multiple endings and all, but honestly half the fun is realizing you clicked yourself into a timeline where you are basically watching your own wife get more “blessed” by the forest than cured. I wish there was a path where you could fully stay pure and keep her untouched, but also I really don’t, and it will never happen anyway.

This thing calls itself “Life is Vanilla” but it’s really that messy, horny, half-true story everyone swears they’ll never tell in public, then dumps in a group chat after three beers. You’re in control of this awkward 18-year-old guy who talks big, watches way too much porn on his phone, and still loses eye contact whenever a girl actually pulls her top halfway up. It has that vibe of early uni convention season, where you’re juggling class, cheap weed, cosplay plans and wondering how the hell other people are already fucking in bathroom stalls while you’re arguing about Marvel canon. The tone jumps a lot: one moment it’s goofy jokes and dumb memes, then suddenly you’re watching your character get his first handjob in a cramped room and the camera just stays there, way too intimate, like you accidentally opened someone’s private Snapchat. It’s all 3D styled in a way that sometimes looks hot as hell and sometimes looks like everyone got slightly too much botox, but somehow that kinda fits the awkward sex energy. And yes, there is a lot of focus on big tits and big asses, not “tasteful” or subtle, more like the game knows exactly why most people click it.

What actually works for me is how it treats virginity and cheating in the same universe without pretending to be moral about it. Early on you’re still a clueless virgin who freaks out when a girl starts slow teasing, grinding on your lap while still fully dressed, just her shirt riding up and your brain short-circuits. Then later, you’re in these situations where some girl who absolutely should not be touching you is doing it anyway, like a “I have a boyfriend but he’s boring” type, sliding her hand into your pants while she keeps talking about totally normal stuff so no one notices. The game doesn’t pause to judge her, it just lets you enjoy the fucked up thrill. There is a scene in a shared apartment kitchen that really stuck with me, the kind of fake-casual exhibitionism where she “accidentally” bends over a bit too far, no panties, pretending to search a lower cabinet while the MC is desperately hiding his boner behind a cereal box. It makes group sex later on feel like a natural train wreck of all the small bad decisions. Of course there’s oral, creampies, clothes coming off in the worst possible order, that thing where a girl spits on your cock first and smiles like she just discovered a cheat code. Weirdly, the only thing that really annoyed me was one shirt texture on a side girl’s outfit that looked cheap as hell. I kept staring at it every time she stripped, which is the most unsexy complaint to have, but it just pulled me out of it and then I’d forget what line I was even reading in the scene. Anyway, it all plays like someone’s overconfident memory of their youth, mixed with shit that obviously didn’t happen, and that chaotic mix is kind of the whole charm, even when it’s trying way too hard and somehow not trying at all at the same time.

Maya is a mess in the most relatable way. Girl wakes up horny, goes to class horny, comes back home even more horny, and half of the time she’s not even enjoying it, just zoning out with porn on her phone, doomscrolling Twitter between strokes, thinking about deadlines while fingering herself again. That kind of depressing, way-too-real masturbation loop. Then suddenly Heaven basically kicks down the door of her burnout life and tells her, “Congrats, you’re a chosen warrior, also your magic wand is that massive futa cock you keep failing to jerk off properly.” It sounds like a joke, but the game commits to it so hard it starts feeling weirdly earnest. One moment she’s choking on her own anxiety, the next she’s in a ruined chapel blasting horny demon girls with holy spells powered by edging herself. It absolutely should not work, and somehow it does.

What really hooked me is how it swings between horny clown mode and those quiet, uncomfortable scenes where Maya tries to act like a normal college student and just fails. You get her standing in a crowded hallway, clutching her phone, praying no one notices the bulge in her leggings while her “guardian angel” is whispering in her ear that she needs to go hunt succubi after midterms. Then cut to her in a forest, pants half-open, using her cock like a staff while a tentacled monstergirl coils around her legs and keeps trying to force a “you came, you lose” deal. The combat is turn based, but the rhythm of it feels more like edging than strategy: buff, tease, stall, big climax attack, try not to blow your load too early because you actually need that mana for the second phase. I like how blunt it is about failure too. Lose a fight, and you’re not just “defeated,” you’re getting milked, fucked, drained, creampied, used as a toy by whatever perverted thing you picked a fight with. Then you wake up back in your dorm like it was “just a dream,” still sticky, trying to pretend you’re fine on your way to group project meeting.

The sex is very “no modesty at all” in the best way. Maya titfucking older milfs that were supposed to be respectable professors, grinding her huge cock between their tits while they pretend it’s still about “extra credit.” Oral scenes where she’s deepthroated by a demon with a halo, or doing the choking herself during a sloppy blowjob behind a campus building, leaving mascara stains and cum streaks on the brick wall. Anal, vaginal, quick handjobs in weird places, masturbation scenes where she’s hunched over her phone in the bathroom trying not to moan as notification sounds keep popping off. And yeah, there are tender moments in all that filth. Monster girls that start as enemies turning into awkward half-friends you can date, sleep with, creampie, then actually talk to about your anxiety. One of my favorite bits is this goofy “training” session that just turns into mutual masturbation under glowing angel sigils on the ceiling while lo-fi style fantasy music loops in the background. It’s trashy, it’s horny, it’s often sad in a way that hits way too close to real mental health shit, and then suddenly you’re laughing because some demon just called her “Heaven’s cum cannon” and it actually kind of fits.

Hero in Training looks like one of those “save the village, save the world, get laid along the way” stories, but it actually feels more like a horny slice-of-life training arc that forgot to be epic and accidentally became fun anyway. You play this clueless guy trying to become a hero, but the game is clearly more interested in what happens between fighting lessons than in the fighting itself. The village is full of women who are way too stacked and way too friendly for any realistic fantasy setting. Big tits everywhere, big asses that take half the screen when the camera gets close, and that slightly awkward 3dcg look where sometimes a nipple is doing its own side quest. Honestly, I kind of like that cheap vibe; it feels like someone’s horny personal project instead of a corporate porn machine polished in Unreal Engine. The early “training” sessions are this weird mix of combat basics and very obvious sexual harassment that the game treats like a joke. Your instructor keeps "correcting" your stance by grabbing your crotch or pressing her tits on your back like it is part of the curriculum. At one point she helps you with your sword grip and transitions into helping you with your other “sword”, stroking him slow while still lecturing about discipline. It is messed up, but in that porn-logic way where everyone is aggressively okay with it.

The strongest part for me is how the erotic scenes actually grow out of dumb little story setups. There is a moment where the protagonist comes back from a failed mission, frustrated and feeling useless, and the older woman who runs the training grounds corners him in the storage room. She starts teasing him about “needing to relax his body before he can become a real protector” while she casually unlaces her top. He tries to keep the conversation about tactics, she keeps pushing it back to his dick. She gropes herself first, like she’s checking weapons, then grabs his cock through the pants and just holds it until you click forward, like the game is asking “ok, are we doing this?” and of course you are. The handjob there is not just some quick CG and done. She spits in her palm, jerks him off slow, tells him how heroes should know how to endure, speeds up when you beg. Her tits are smashed together in the shot and they are honestly too big, almost cartoonish, but the way the scene is written, it still lands. Then she drops to her knees and gives him this messy oral, deepthroating while still muttering about “proper breathing technique.” It is ridiculous and kind of perfect. Not everything hits, though. There are a few teasing scenes that feel copy pasted: girl “accidentally” sitting on your lap, grinding a little, pretending she did not notice your hard dick pressed against her ass. The game loves the “oops I fell on your cock” energy. Some of the faces in the 3dcg look weird from certain angles, like their eyes are slightly floating apart. Backgrounds can feel cheap. Also there is this milf character, the big protective type, supposedly worried about the village, but half of her dialogue is minor variations of “you have grown so strong” while staring straight at his crotch. She lets you grope her from behind while she’s cooking, then casually moves your hand from her hips up to her tits like she is teaching a child to hold a spoon. Does not fit her written personality at all, but porn writing has never been famous for consistency. Still, some smaller bits stay in my mind more than I expected: a moment where you wake up hard and a woman just silently slips under the blanket for a quick morning blowjob without any big story speech; a scene where you get caught staring at a big ass bent over in the training yard and instead of being angry, she demands you “prove your focus” by keeping eye contact while she guides your hand between her cheeks. It is clumsy, shameless, sometimes funny, and very much a game where being a “hero” mostly means surviving an onslaught of aggressive flirting and very hands-on lessons.