Ellie from that zombie game and Lara from those old temple raider days stuck together in one filthy, horny mess is already kind of illegal, but the way this thing uses their feet is what actually surprised me. It starts almost innocent, like some weird fanfic fantasy where a regular dude ends up with both of them under his control, and you think “ok ok, just another basic porn parody”. Then you realize the whole focus is on socks and how much abuse you can squeeze out of a single sweaty foot. The game treats socks like gear, like actual tools for humiliation, not just decoration. You’re pulling Ellie’s dirty socks off slow while she glares at you, toes curling, and Lara is in the background with those tight sport socks still on, being forced to stroke you off with them while acting all proud and pissed at the same time. It’s fucked up and kind of funny.

What I liked is how often it lets you push them from “annoyed” into “broken-in toy” during actual sex, not just in some text box. One scene that stuck with me: you’ve already used Ellie’s feet, made her rub you until she’s breathing hard and confused, and instead of jumping straight to normal penetration, you pin her down in missionary, keep her ankles pressed against your shoulders, and the camera keeps cutting back to her soles. Not her face, not your dick, just those feet twitching while you slam into her. Meanwhile Lara is ordered to kneel at the side, licking your balls like some obedient slave, still wearing one sock, and that stupid detail somehow makes it nastier. Then later you flip Lara into doggystyle, really rough, hair pulled, face pushed down, and she’s forced to rub you with her feet between thrusts, basically getting used like a multi tool. It’s actually a bit much when you chain everything together: harassment, domination, rough fucking, feet in your face, them gagging on you, and you keep going anyway because the game kind of encourages you to be a selfish bastard. At some point I realized the male protagonist doesn’t even feel like a “character”, he’s more like a cock with dialogue, but in this type of hardcore crossover it weirdly fits. The AI-generated CG sometimes looks slightly off, like Ellie’s toes bending wrong or Lara’s expression clipping into weird “half angry half bored” mode, yet those little imperfections give the scenes this trashy bootleg energy that matches the whole vibe. You’re not here for romance, or plot, or to be a good person. You’re here to grab two famous girls by the throat, use their mouths, their pussies, their asses, and especially their socks and feet, and then pretend later it was “just parody” when you close the tab.

Vault 69 feels like somebody took a Fallout parody, spilled a full Pornhub search history on it, and then said “yeah ok, this is the plot now”. You play as the only useful dick in an underground vault that ran out of common sense and condoms at the same time. The Overseer basically pats you on the shoulder and says “go breed, champ”, while the whole place is full of desperate, half-broken, half-horny people that somehow still find time to argue about rations and power supply. It’s not subtle. It’s not trying to be smart. It just throws you into a post-apoc mess where your cock is both resource and weapon. You walk around the vault, talk to girls who are clearly one bad day from snapping, and every choice is like a weird mix of dating sim and HR management, if HR was about who gets to swallow and who only gets it up the ass.

What I liked is that the game doesn’t pretend sex is soft or romantic. It’s rough, dirty, and sometimes a little fucked up in the head. You’ve got big-titted slaves, “volunteers” that are clearly not okay, raiders topside who think “negotiation” means forcing the protagonist to prove his value by breaking in new captives. One scene had me trying a pickup line like “Let’s save humanity together” and the girl actually laughed at me before forcing me to go down on her as “practice” for future breeding candidates. Another time I tried a more aggressive line, something like “Bend over the desk, I’m tired of talking”, and she just locked the door and went full dom on me instead, using my face on the chair and calling it “evaluation”. The game loves flipping your expectations like that. Sometimes your cheesy line works and opens a new hardcore scene, sometimes it gets you punched, sometimes it triggers a weird management event about population stress where you’re suddenly filling forms after filling holes. And yeah, those stupid little stat prompts that pop up on screen, they feel like Excel sheet made horny. I hated it. I also kind of liked it. I don’t know.

Outside the vault it gets nastier and funnier at the same time. You meet wasteland chicks who are way more dangerous than the gun they’re holding, and somehow the dialogue still makes room for cringe pickup attempts. Had a moment where I tried to be smooth with a raider girl, something like “You look like trouble, I like trouble”, and she just put a boot on my chest and told me I’ll “earn the pussy” by bringing her slaves to trade. Next thing I know, I’m back in the vault doing this awkward loop of cold resource management and hot, brutal sex, trying to decide who gets treated like a person and who gets used like equipment. The violence can be a bit much sometimes, honestly, but the world is so broken it weirdly fits. I wish there were more soft scenes where characters just fuck for fun, not duty, but this setting is not really about cozy cuddling anyway. It’s about mouths full, asses sore, power plays everywhere, and you stuck in the middle pretending your shitty pickup lines are actually saving civilization. At least when I alt-tabbed to check Discord after a particularly harsh anal scene, my brain needed a second to remember that in real life, people don’t usually ask “What’s your breeding quota today?” so I guess the immersion works a little too well.

Japan in this game feels like someone took a horny sci fi reddit thread, fed it into ChatGPT on a bad day, then handed it to a very pervy writer with a school uniform fetish and a grudge. You land there as this kinda average 19-year-old dude, supposed to be an exchange student, pretending you care about classes while your brain is just full of your crush Julie’s tits and that tight ass she keeps pretending she doesn’t notice you staring at. Of course she brings her cute friend Alice, who acts like a good girl but gives you those tiny side glances that say “choke me a little, please.” On top of that, there is this whole mystery about Julie’s missing sister and a company that makes hyper realistic sex dolls, but half the time I kept forgetting about the plot because the game keeps throwing you in situations where you are either groping, being teased, or trying not to cum in your pants in some school hallway. The tone jumps around like crazy: one moment you flirt shyly in a classroom, next you are slapping a doll’s ass raw and making her call you master while your friend is in the next room. That mix actually works better than it should. It feels messy and dirty, in a good way.

The whole “Love Dolls” company thing is the part that stuck with me. Those dolls are basically walking sex toys with soft skin, big tits, big asses, and eyes that look a bit too human when you tell them to open their mouth wider and they just obey without question. They are made to be used, to be trained, to be humiliated. You can press them against a wall, pull their hair, force their legs apart, make them kneel on a cold floor and clean your dick with their tongue while you stare down like they’re nothing. There is this one scene where you are still acting like the innocent foreign student on the outside but behind a locked door you are pushing a doll face down on a school desk, fingers digging into her hips, pounding her so hard the animation actually sells the impact. Her tits bounce, her ass jiggles, she moans like a broken toy, and you know very well you are not supposed to be doing this in a place with textbooks and chalkboards. That mix of “I shouldn’t” and “I really, really will” is where the game shines. It goes from gentle teasing and soft kisses with your crush to rough anal with a doll chained to a bed, and the game barely blinks. You get moments of romance, then suddenly you’re strapping a toy to a girl, making her ride it until she’s shaking, and the MC is just watching with this fucked up curiosity like “what else can I do to her?” It’s not subtle, it’s not classy, and it absolutely doesn’t pretend to be. Which is kind of perfect for what it is.

Briggs is absolutely the worst little bastard to put in charge of “bringing justice” to a kingdom, which is exactly why it works. The game throws you into this royal court where the queen is this insanely hot, thick-hipped tyrant with huge tits, zero patience, and even less modesty once you start messing with her. At first she’s all proud female warrior energy, barking orders, talking down to goblins and knights like they are trash under her heels. Then your goblin brain starts turning and you realize the whole palace is basically one big toy box for humiliating her in public. You sneak around, spy from keyholes, watch her bathe, catch her getting dressed, push little pranks that start as “haha funny” and end up as “why is the queen on her knees in front of half the guard with cum on her face.” The escalation is the fun part. It’s not just suddenly hardcore. It slowly slides from teasing and groping to straight up group sex in the throne room, while everybody pretends this is “discipline for the good of the realm.”

What I really liked is how many scenes are focused on her losing status, not just getting fucked. You’re not just clicking through sex, you’re orchestrating her fall. One moment you convince a knight to “check her armor fit” and the guy ends up with both hands buried in her chest plates, squeezing her huge tits while she tries to keep royal composure. Next moment, some noble walks in, sees her bent over a table with a goblin hand under her skirt, and instead of stopping it, he joins. Half of the time you’re basically a pervert director of a humiliation play. Voyeur scenes where Briggs hides behind curtains and you get full view of the queen, flushed and panting, trying to pretend she’s still in control while goblins grope her ass and spread her thighs for everyone to see. And when monsters show up? The tone shifts to this brutal fantasy corruption where big, ugly things pound her hard enough that her expression changes from rage to this broken, wet, “more” look. There’s a scene where she ends up mounted by a beast in the royal garden while the court watches, and by the end she’s begging to be filled, creampies dripping down her legs and into the grass, and everyone just laughs like it’s a show. It’s fucked up, it’s funny, it’s horny, and it never really pretends to be something noble. She starts as a proud warrior queen, she ends as the castle’s favorite toy, and somehow the goblin feels like the only honest one in the room.