Ship is totally fucked, heroine is half naked, and the game just drops you on this ugly horny planet like, “yeah good luck, try not to get railed.” It feels like some cursed mashup of those old Flash arcade platformers and a shitty hentai doujin someone drew during math class. In a good way. Sort of. You run left and right, hopping over pits and gross organic platforms while every damn alien on screen is basically thinking with its dick. The camera’s tight enough that you always feel like something is slobbering just off screen, which is honestly hotter than the actual sprites half the time. You use WASD, hit Space to smack things, and Shift suddenly makes it feel like a tiny scuffed shooter, because now you’re lining up shots like it’s a bullet hell that forgot to be polite. It’s all very messy, unrefined, and that’s exactly why it works a bit too well.

The enemies are where the game gets really nasty. Tentacle blobs, insect-looking creeps, weird bio-robots that clearly never heard of consent. If they catch you, there isn’t some fade-to-black bullshit, you get a whole view of your girl getting pinned, grabbed, stuffed full from angles that honestly should require a health warning. The animations aren’t “smooth” or anything fancy, they’re kinda jittery and raw, but that makes them feel more like an old dirty gif you’d find on some forgotten Gelbooru page at 144p. And they don’t just loop one position either. You get that “oh shit I’m losing control” feeling, watching your health bar get chewed through while she’s squirming and dripping and trying to push them off, and half your brain’s screaming “press space, press space” while the other half just wants to sit there and watch her get absolutely wrecked. It’s not subtle. It’s not romantic. It’s straight alien *** fantasy, with tentacles wrapping thighs, stomach bulges, fluids everywhere, the whole degeneracy package. At one point I literally missed a jump on purpose just to see what that new slime enemy would do if it got on top of her. That says a lot. About me. And the game.

There’s a bit of customization, but don’t expect some deep character creator like in Skyrim mods. You tweak body shape, some outfit bits, colors, a couple of lewd toggles, just enough to make her “yours” before the planet ruins her completely. I spent way too long nudging boob sliders by tiny steps, switching from torn suit to even more torn suit, then jumping into a stage and immediately getting gangbanged by three ugly fuckers who didn’t even appreciate the effort. Rude. The platforming itself is that janky kind where you overshoot a ledge you were sure you’d land, or you swear input lag killed you, but then sometimes the awkward jump arcs actually make the chase scenes hotter, because you trip over some small enemy and suddenly you’re on your back, legs spread, and the screen is full of writhing wet limbs. Arcade-style respawns keep feeding you back into the grinder, and soon you’re in that loop of pretending you’re playing for score or progress while everyone knows you’re just checking what new position triggers in the next area. It’s trashy, unpolished, very thirsty, and somehow all the little rough edges just make the whole alien hell-planet sex trap vibe hit harder than it has any right to.

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The office was nearly empty on the night before Christmas, but Brad found himself stuck behind a desk, the hum of fluorescent lights his only company.

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