Special Harem Class feels like someone mashed a horny dating sim with a lazy summer in a city you only visit in dreams, then sprinkled in a bunch of “yeah this is totally an educational program” lies on top. You’re the guy who didn’t get into any normal college and somehow lands in this weird pre-college thing where every girl looks like she escaped from an anime convention and a porn studio at the same time. The teacher, Claire, is supposed to help you “prepare for higher education”, but she’s way more invested in helping you get inside every girl in the class. And herself. A lot. She’s kind of your pervert handler and it’s hilarious. One moment she’s telling you to study, next moment she’s jerking you off in the office while explaining how to “evaluate interpersonal relationships”. It’s stupid and hot and you just roll with it.

The city map is where the roguelike part of my brain woke up a little. You just wander. Click around. Go to the café at the wrong time of day and suddenly you walk in on one of the girls doing lewd cosplay in the backroom for some extra cash. Go to the park “just to farm affection” and you end up getting a blowjob behind a tree after picking the dialogue option that sounded like a joke. The game loves those small chains. Like you talk to a side girl once at the bus stop, forget about her, then twenty in-game days later she shows up at the mall with a completely different outfit and drags you to the bathroom for a quick, sloppy fuck because “you looked lonely”. The scenes are not just copy-paste either. There are these moments where the camera stays way too long on a girl’s face while she’s moaning and drooling on your cock, and it feels uncomfortably intimate, in the good porn way. Animation loops are everywhere, so every thrust is shown, every little twitch, tits bouncing in this hypnotic, slightly janky rhythm.

What I really liked is how the affection grind tricks you. At first you’re just chasing numbers like a min-max goblin, then suddenly you hit a sex scene that feels way more personal than expected. One of the main girls starts as the “tsundere” cliché, you know, all attitude, but her later scenes are basically her losing control on top of you, begging for your cum and admitting she checks her phone every night waiting for your messages. And you’re sitting there pants around your ankles going “wow ok feelings now, cool”. Then five minutes later you’re raw-dogging a random side chick in a stairwell, zero romance, just sweat and spit and hurried thrusts because someone might come in. It swings between sweet and filthy without warning. There’s a ton of content already, and the dev clearly has a fetish for variety in positions. Titjobs with cum dripping down, anal scenes where the girl’s expression goes from “no way” to “harder” in one loop, public stuff in the city where she’s trying to keep quiet and absolutely failing. Also there’s that one Claire scene in the classroom with the desk, you’ll know when you get it, where she’s riding you slowly while still acting like a serious teacher, glasses and all, and then breaks character mid-sentence when you grab her ass and pull her down harder. I replayed that like, too many times. Only thing that annoyed me is sometimes I’d click through a day trying to trigger a new event and end up with nothing, just empty routine, but then the next week the game drops two new sex scenes on me back to back and I forget I was annoyed at all.

You know that feeling when your calendar hits “International Talk Like A Pirate Day” and you kinda want a game that actually leans into it, but also rails you into next week? Lusty Buccaneers is exactly in that stupidly specific overlap. It pretends to be about treasure and adventure, but after the first ten minutes it’s very clear the real loot is ass and humiliation. You’re this rookie pirate, supposedly “future legend of the seas”, and the first thing you actually do is get bullied by a captain with tits that should honestly have their own wanted poster. She talks like a mix of dominatrix and HR manager from hell, tells you to kneel, calls you useless, then gives you a “private examination” in her cabin that somehow involves a strap-on, your ass, and the word “crew discipline” said way too sweet. Loved it. Hated it. Still clicked every option that made her more cruel.

What I enjoyed most is how the game keeps pretending it’s wholesome shounen pirate adventure. You get this big world map, little sandbox vibe, random ports, “mystery islands”, new crewmates, some goofy parody of famous anime pirates with names just close enough to make you snort. Then the scenes hit. One moment you negotiate with a monster girl who looks like someone mashed a mermaid, a cowgirl milf and your search history from xVideos. Next moment you’re handcuffed to the mast, covered in milk and cum, while your captain makes you watch her get double stuffed by a pair of huge black pirates you “accidentally” recruited. It calls itself romance in the menu, but yeah, good luck staying pure. The corruption route is way too fun. I tried to be loyal, I really did, then the game throws a futa swordswoman at you with abs, a massive dick and footplay options and suddenly your “honor” is at the bottom of the ocean.

The multiple endings thing actually works here, even if half of them just feel like different flavors of “you turned into a perverted slave mascot for an all-girl crew.” Got a soft spot for the one where your pirate harem looks normal on the surface, but in reality every girl is sleeping with everyone behind your back and the game keeps dropping little voyeur scenes if you click the wrong cabin at night. There is this one early moment I keep thinking about, when you catch two crew girls in the storage room, one in full crossdressing outfit, giving a sloppy blowjob while the other milks her and laughs about how they’re going to “share you next.” You can walk away like a virgin idiot or stay and watch from a barrel. I left the first time, because I am dumb. Regretted it the entire session. Also the mobile version works suspiciously well, which is a blessing and a curse, because playing a POV anal scene with a corrupted student-turned-pirate on the train while pretending you are checking Spotify is absolutely a new low. In a good way. Sort of. I still think the crew management is shallow and the cuckold bits sometimes go a bit too hard, then again I click every NTR flag I find, so maybe that’s on me. Anyway, it’s the kind of filthy vacation island porn game where you promise to just “check it quickly” for stream planning and then suddenly you’re debating which futa captain you want to knock you up.

There is this trashy little tropical resort game that feels like somebody mashed a sleazy dating sim with a lazy idle tycoon and then asked, “how far can we push the horny?” and just never stopped. You show up on this sunny island because daddy died and left you a resort, and instead of grief you get a UI and a to-do list that’s basically: hire busty women, pretend to care, squeeze both their labor and their bodies. It’s not subtle. The first time you promise a girl “a real career” while the dialogue clearly nudges her toward stripping down for “special client service”, it feels like a hentai parody of every fake inspirational LinkedIn coach. One moment you’re adjusting room prices and assigning shifts, next moment you’re in a Ren’Py scene where she’s bent over a desk, tits bouncing, you clicking through lines about “team building”. Very professional, yes. Totally HR compliant.

The part that actually got me is how fast your brain switches between numbers brain and degenerate brain. You’re checking profit margins, then a new horny event pops up: that island cutie you put at the front desk is complaining she can’t pay rent, and suddenly the “solution” is you fucking her brains out as “staff housing benefit”. The game pretends it’s comedic, and to be fair, some lines are actually funny in that dark, mean way: jokes about selling “emotional security” while your dick is literally inside her, side comments about your dead father probably doing the same shit before you. Sometimes the humor hits, sometimes it’s like your uncle discovered hentai memes and tried to write them himself. The girls are written like classic eroge archetypes, just with the morality slider ripped off: the shy one that folds under pressure with a wet moan, the ambitious one you bribe with promises of promotion if she swallows, the island girl who “owes the resort” and works off her debt on her knees. Ren’Py makes it all feel familiar: click, fork a choice, watch an H-scene, open another menu to make more money off the same girl you just creampied. It is trash, but that kind of trash where you catch yourself min-maxing your harem and thinking, “ok, but if I make this one my personal assistant, does that unlock more office sex or just better income?” and then you realize you don’t care, because she’s already moaning your name in another event window. Tropical capitalism, but with cum everywhere.

So there's this game called Cartoon Hearts and honestly? It's kinda weird but in that good way where you can't look away from a car crash, except the car crash is horny teenagers and cartoon characters going to high school together.

You play some random dude - because it's always some random dude, isn't it - walking around what looks like a normal city but surprise! Raven's doing her goth thing in art class, Violet Parr's trying not to phase through her desk during math, and Starfire's probably setting something on fire in chemistry because that's just Tuesday for her. The whole setup is unhinged in the best possible way. Like someone took Saturday morning cartoons and said "what if they all went to the same school and had raging hormones?" which is either brilliant or deeply concerning depending on your perspective. The writing bounces between actually clever character interactions and moments where you're like wait did Raven just say that? Because she did and it's weird but also... kinda works?

Each girl's got her whole personality thing going on - shy artist with mysterious vibes, popular athlete who's secretly insecure, alien princess who doesn't understand human customs but definitely understands human anatomy. Standard visual novel fare but with characters you actually recognize instead of Generic Anime Girl #47. The dialogue gets pretty explicit when things heat up, which they do because that's literally the point. Some scenes hit different when it's characters you've known since you were like twelve, creates this whole cognitive dissonance that's either your thing or absolutely not your thing. No middle ground here. The art style does this thing where it tries to stay true to the original designs while making them more... adult-oriented, if you catch my drift. Sometimes it works great, other times Starfire looks like she walked out of a completely different universe than Teen Titans but whatever, you're not here for art consistency anyway.