Plague in the kingdom, king on his throne shitting himself in fear, and you, the poor bastard who has to walk into a cursed forest with a cute elf wife who is way too good for you. That is the whole mood of Cursed Forest Quest – you are technically the hero, but it always feels like the story is asking what happens if the hero is soft, horny, and just a bit unlucky. Vallabelle, your elven wife, is the kind priestess type with huge tits, a perfect ass that does not make physical sense for an elf, and a smile that makes you think “ok, she is totally loyal, it’s fine” while the game quietly laughs in the background. The early scenes sell this perfect couple thing hard: sharing a campfire, she heals your wounds, teases you with a slow handjob as a reward for surviving the day, rides you with that soft priestess moaning, and you think, alright, wholesome, I can relax. Then the forest basically says, no, fuck you, this is a cursed land, and starts poking that little insecurity in your brain every time some other guy looks at her for more than two seconds.

What I liked too much, embarrassingly, is how the game uses “small” moments to kick you in the balls. For example, first time you get to a ruined shrine, there is a choice: go search for relics, or send Vallabelle to talk with the local spirit while you check the perimeter. I just clicked through, not thinking, checked a bush that had literally nothing important, and when I came back, the scene cut to Vallabelle slightly flushed, her robe messed up, her tits kind of out, spirit fading away, and her going “it’s fine, just a blessing.” That moment stuck in my head longer than the full-on vaginal scenes. Not even a big animation there, only small touches, like her avoiding eye contact. Later on there is an actual animated scene with her getting pounded against a forest altar, ass bouncing, moans way louder than anything she ever did for you, and that felt almost less cruel than that earlier half-harassment vibe, where you are not sure what happened but your dick and your stomach both react. By the way, the spanking stuff is weirdly casual here. Sometimes you get to spank her playfully as a “punishment” for teasing you in front of a guard, and she giggles and presses that big ass into your hand. Another time, some other guy does a very similar smack, and suddenly the camera lingers way too long, and she bites her lip in a way she never did for you. I hated that. I also replayed that branch three times to see if her expression changes with different quest choices. It barely does, which somehow turns me on more. The game likes to pretend you have control with all the quests and paths, and yeah, there are multiple endings and all, but honestly half the fun is realizing you clicked yourself into a timeline where you are basically watching your own wife get more “blessed” by the forest than cured. I wish there was a path where you could fully stay pure and keep her untouched, but also I really don’t, and it will never happen anyway.

This one feels like someone grabbed a bunch of messed up fairy tales from an old Tumblr archive, poured too much horny into them, then stitched them together with tape and spite. You jump from one little “chapter” to another, each about a different princess or monster girl, and it never quite behaves the same way twice. Sometimes you’re clicking through choices like a horny gremlin, sometimes you’re stuck on one screen just staring at a princess in chains while deciding if you go full bastard or pretend to be a gentleman for three lines before ruining everything again. It has that cheap 2D CG look that somehow fits perfectly, like fanart that escaped from DeviantArt and learned how to talk dirty.

The Disney parody angle is not subtle at all. One moment you’re in a desert palace with a very not-licensed princess in transparent harem pants, the next you’re watching her milk drip through the fabric because some “blessing” of a magic artifact turned her into a walking cow fantasy. There’s actual choices around that too: keep her as a humiliated slave, drag her to the shop to buy toys and chains, or pretend to “free” her and then chain her to the bed anyway when she tries to run. When the genie shows up, he’s not doing three wishes, he’s doing “how much anal, how much oral, and which hole gets the creampie first.” It sounds crude but the writing has this weird emotional whiplash. You get moments where she spits insults, calls you a monster, you spank her until she does that stupid ahegao face, tongue out, drool, and then three clicks later she’s asking why you didn’t kiss her after you fucked her. Absolutely romantic. Totally normal.

Then there’s the monster girls and the more… questionable stuff. The game does not care about comfort zones. There is ***, humiliation, bestial stuff, that feeling of “oh shit, I should not be aroused by this, and yet here we are.” A lamia coils around your guy, squeezes until he can’t breathe, then uses him like a living dildo. A corrupted princess rides a centaur while you watch and jerk off like some pathetic court wizard who lost control of his own spell. At some point I spent like five minutes just trying to click the right option so I could see the lactation scene loop again, because the way her breasts bounce when the magic spell forces her to squirt on command is genuinely hot in this stupid, low-budget way. And then, in another branch, that same girl is surrounded by a group of guards, getting used one after another, cum dripping out of every hole, and she still has that princess pride in her face like she’s trying not to break while you decide if you go for a handjob ending or shove toys into her until she cracks.

What I like is how inconsistent it all feels, in a good way and also in a “who wrote this at 4 in the morning on Red Bull” way. Some scenes are pure male domination power trip, where you drag a chained girl by the collar, make her lick your boots, force oral until her eyes roll up. Then suddenly you hit a route where a demoness sits on your chest, slaps your face, makes you cum with just her feet and your own hand, and laughs at you for being her little toy. There is one bit I keep thinking about: that stupid little shop screen where you buy a cheap-looking vibrator, take it back to the dungeon, and the scene changes only by this tiny drawn toy in her hand, but the dialogue completely flips her personality. She goes from sobbing *** victim to desperate, horny mess begging you to push it deeper while your character mocks her for loving it. The game pretends to be a light parody, but some of these stories end like a punch in the gut, with the girl broken, collared, used by monsters and men, covered in cum, and you get this short line of text hinting that, in another path, she could have escaped with a girlfriend instead, living a quiet lesbian fantasy far from the palace. You will probably ignore that and reload for the anal gangbang anyway.

This thing starts with the most majestic form of suicide I’ve ever seen in a porn game: the dude literally beats himself to death trying to set a jerk-off record. Not “dies in battle”, not “hit by truck-kun”. No. He just goes for 100 handjobs in a row and his heart taps out. Peak gamer grind. I respect the hustle. Then boom, he wakes up in another world with a special power that basically turns his cum into party buffs. The game even calls it something cute like “Baby Seeds” but let’s be honest, it’s magical power jizz. You fuck girls, they get stronger. Classic isekai logic. Zero shame, full commitment to the bit.

The whole world feels like somebody mashed together hentai tropes, fantasy JRPG, and horny Reddit threads, then gave up on subtlety. You got monster girls that want to eat you and ride you, elves who look like they walked out of a hentai search filter, big tit milfs who act like they’re doing you a favor while they suck your soul out through your dick, and then tiny flat-chested troublemakers who pretend they hate you while still ending up bent over a table. And they’re not just decoration, they all want a piece of that “power up” sauce. You walk into a village and suddenly elf warrior girl wants to “test your abilities” by making you choke on her thighs while you finger her, then some furry mage is like “for magic research” while she’s grinding on your lap. I had one run where I tried to play it safe and focus on just one girl, and ten minutes later I’m balls deep in a monster girl with tentacle hair that won’t let me go until she’s drained like five rounds. The game pretends there is choice, but your dick is the main questline.

It calls itself sandbox and it actually leans into that. You wander around, poke random places, suddenly you’re groping a drunk warrior milf in a tavern corner and she’s laughing while she pushes your hand harder onto her ass. You go to some forest to “train” and instead end up getting your cock cleaned by an eager wolf girl who thinks oral is a greeting. Sometimes you’re trying to be the cool dominant hero, shoving a proud elf onto her knees and making her swallow every drop while she glares up at you, and then next scene you’re flat on your back with a crazy strong amazon warrior riding your dick like it’s a siege weapon and you’re just holding on and praying your character doesn’t get another heart attack. The sex is not shy about angles either. Anal scenes where you grab hips and just slam into them while their tits bounce all over the screen, messy throating where her eyes go watery and she keeps going anyway, stupidly long cumshots that feel like the dev really needed to make a point. And in the middle of all this horny chaos, you still end up laughing because the protagonist is a complete idiot who somehow turned jerking off too much into the most broken fantasy power in the world. Honestly, the game is kind of trashy, kind of janky, kind of perfect.

RuleUniverse feels like someone mashed Dragon Ball fanfiction, horny Twitter art and a half-finished Ren’Py project, then accidentally made it kind of addictive. You start as this lonely overachiever kid that reads like every shonen protagonist in history, then a demon scientist pops up and says, “hey, let’s stuff your body with DNA from the strongest fighters in the universe, what could go wrong.” It’s delightfully stupid in that fanfic way, but precisely because of that, it works. The game knows it’s a parody, it doesn’t try to pretend it’s “deep”, and then it suddenly throws in a line about destiny or guiding the universe and you’re like… alright, Toriyama-with-horny-mods, calm down.

The real fun is how transparently it worships its women. Bulma, Chi-Chi, Android 18, that whole legendary boob-and-ass pantheon is here, clearly shaped by someone who grew up pausing VHS at the worst places. The models are 3D and exaggerated as hell: huge tits, fat asses, those shiny anime lips that just scream “she’s going to suck him off in like two clicks.” Animated scenes actually move, not just two stiff characters rubbing like broken Sims; you get thrusting, jiggling, drool, that soft spit string when you pull out from a blowjob, all the little pervy details that tell you the dev really wanted this for themselves first. One moment you’re doing basic combat with ki blasts and energy auras, the next you’re balls-deep in Bulma in a lab, with wires and science junk in the background like that somehow makes it ethical. And the combat’s funny: it pretends to be serious, but all you’re thinking is “okay, how many fights until I unlock the next sex scene with Android 18.” Sometimes the sandbox part feels less like a “world” and more like a small playground with a fence around it, but the loops of walking around, clicking, triggering small events, slowly unlocking more lewd stuff… it scratched that same spot as old flash games I used to sneak at school on shitty browsers.

I kinda love how messy it is. The romance tries to act sentimental for a second, then five lines later you’re face-fucking a milf with magic powers while she moans like someone recorded it in a bathroom on a cheap mic. Dialog swings from “I will guide the universe” to “fuck me harder” without the slightest shame. Exploration is simple, a little repetitive, but I still kept wandering, poking every corner hoping there’s a hidden event where Chi-Chi finally snaps and rides the protagonist like he’s the last Saiyan on earth. Some text sounds like it was written at midnight by a dude half-remembering DBZ arcs from YouTube AMVs, which, honestly, is the right energy. I do wish the world reacted more to what you do, like if you bang Bulma enough, Vegeta starts showing up mad or something, but I know that kind of feature is exactly the thing that stays in the dev’s “maybe later” notes forever. Still, when you’re watching Android 18 slowly drop to her knees after you save her in a fight and she rewards you with this sloppy, animated blowjob, with her tits barely contained and that quiet smug smile when she swallows, it hits the trashy, horny, teen-power-fantasy nerve in a very specific way. It’s not elegant. It’s not smart. It’s like a wet doujin turned half-game, half-daydream, and somehow that’s exactly why it sticks.