Everything starts with you being thrown into this weird parallel wizard academy where things look like Harry Potter got drunk, hooked up with some cheap hentai artist and said “yeah, that’s fine.” The old beardy professor, Doubleroar, is gone, snatched by some edgy Dark Seakers, and the Higher Administration of Magic basically says: all *** students are on hold. Which means the campus is suddenly full of girls who are old enough, horny enough, bored enough, and you end up in the director’s chair with way too much power and not enough shame. The game does not rush, it just drops you into this semi-sandbox school where every corridor, tower and hidden room has at least one “oh fuck I shouldn’t be seeing this” moment. I spent like twenty minutes just abusing the voyeur system, peeking into dorms and showers, checking stats like a pervert accountant: “ok, she likes teasing, she likes girls, she hates public stuff, got it.” Then I’d trigger some magic event and suddenly I’m watching two students grind on each other on a couch, full scissoring loop, smooth 3D animation, panties pushed aside, one of them trying to be quiet and failing.

The best parts for me are when you abuse your role as director in a playful way. You call a girl to your office because “her grades are dropping” and five dialog options later she is giving you a lapdance on that ugly armchair that looks like it came from Ikea clearance, your hand on her ass, her tits almost slipping out of the uniform. If you focus your build on domination spells, things get even dirtier. You can cast this little obedience charm and suddenly she is kneeling between your legs, licking slowly, while giving you that half-pissed, half-aroused look that says “I hate that I like this.” Then later you meet the same girl in the courtyard with one of her female friends and they start teasing each other for who sucked you better. That small continuity made me laugh, because I realized the game actually tracks that route and I tested it with a spreadsheet on my second run. There are lesbian-focused paths too, where you barely touch them, just set up situations. I had one chain where I “punished” a girl by making her take dance lessons from a more experienced student. Ten minutes later they are in the club room, grinding, one lifting the other by the leg, deep tribbing on some old sofa, kissing and moaning while you are behind a curtain like a budget perv god. You can join them or just watch and collect a new unlockable animation for the gallery. Odd thing: sometimes the pacing is weird, you do three quests and the reward is just a little groping scene, then suddenly an optional side click opens a full-blown cunnilingus animation with magic glowing around their thighs that looks way better than the “main” story scene. The humor is also all over the place. One moment you read some stupid joke about magic paperwork, the next you are tongue deep in a student’s pussy in the library, her legs on your shoulders, books flying around because of a wild enchantment, and she is trying not to scream because other students are right behind the shelves. I liked that the MC can be a smug asshole or more playful, but either way he is clearly a pervert. This is not one of those fake wholesome titles. You bully, you tease, you control schedules so a girl “accidentally” ends up in detention with a known lesbian upperclassman who proceeds to sit on her face. The animated scenes are honestly the main thing. Breasts bounce, thighs press together, asses jiggle when you spank, tongues move when they lick each other, and the camera is not shy to go close. It is crude, sometimes a bit clunky, but it feels dirty in a good way, like a porn parody that knows exactly what it is. I spent way too long trying to find all the voyeur variants for the bathrooms just to see how many oral and fingering combos they hid there. For a game that pretends to be about magic academy management, it is really about watching and guiding a bunch of horny students into every combination of licking, sucking, scissoring, grinding, stripping and fucking you can statistically map. And I did map it. Twice.

Nubilia looks all noble and shiny on the map, but the second you drop into this mess you realize it’s less “honor and duty” and more “who’s trying to ride your dick while stabbing your bloodline in the back”. You’re this magic talented heir with a dead mom, a pissed off father, and a whole buffet of highborn girls who smile at you like angels while clearly doing war crimes in their spare time. Every city-state you visit throws another walking fantasy wallpaper at you: prim and proper lady in silk who talks about politics with her tits halfway out, battle mage with scars and zero patience for your bullshit, that one smug noble girl who calls you “peasant” while eyeing your crotch like it’s a legendary artifact. The game just leans into the chaos. One scene you’re interrogating some duchess about your mother’s murder, next scene she has you pinned on a velvet couch, dress around her waist, gasping about “alliances” while grinding down on you so hard you forget you were supposed to be angry.

What actually sold me is how your magic and choices keep twisting the relationships. You’re not just clicking through porn slides. You build this reputation across the nine cities, and girls react to it. Act like a ruthless bastard? Some of them get dripping wet when you dominate them. Others flinch, pull back, and you only get them to open up after you save their ass in a duel where spells are flying and you’re trying not to stare at jiggling cleavage in slow motion. You flirt during strategy talks, tease them in corridors, use magic in bed in a way that’s absolutely illegal in at least five churches. One night you’re sneaking into a manor with a noble sorceress partner who whispers a spell to make you invisible, and the moment you’re alone in her tower she cancels the spell and climbs you like a ladder, begging you to “claim her house” while raking nails down your back. Another time you’re at a fancy banquet, every lady dressed like she lost a fight with a corset, and under the table you’ve got one girl stroking you with her foot while another pretends not to notice and keeps asking about your “magical potential” with this filthy smile. It’s that mix of murder mystery, faked loyalty, and full-on harem corruption that hits. Everyone’s pretending to be civilized while you’re balls deep in future enemies, trying to guess which soft moaning noble slut actually stuck a knife in your mother. And the worst part? Sometimes they look up at you with those wide eyes, flushed cheeks, whisper “I’d never hurt you” while you’re filling them, and for a second you almost believe them.

Tainted Philter feels like one of those horny ideas somebody had in a Discord call and then actually followed through, in a good and kinda fucked up way. You’re this awkward, low self esteem guy dumped in a new city, stuck in a free room that sounds like a Craigslist scam, and then school hits you in the face. Whole thing looks like a pretty normal school life at first, except everybody’s a bit too hot and the camera really likes hips and thighs. Then this otherworldly woman shows up, like someone mixed a research assistant with a succubus and an RPG vendor, and just casually tells you magic is real and your new job is to corrupt people for her “research”. Totally normal conversation to have in a dark corner, right. She hands you a stash of potions with different colors and effects, and from there the game basically turns into “how far can you push this without everything collapsing on your head”. And you will push it. Even if you pretend you won’t.

The lewd stuff builds up nice and dirty. At first it’s small changes: a classmate who suddenly laughs at your lame jokes a bit too hard, a teacher who lowers her guard after a drink that’s just “a little stronger than usual”. The fun starts when you realize the game quietly tracks how twisted each girl is getting, and scenes start shifting tone. One route I spiked this quiet, ultra strict girl’s drink with something that boosted her confidence and lowered her shame; first time she just unbuttoned one more button on her blouse in the hallway, second time she was already flirting with me in the library like the place didn’t have cameras, third time I ended up with her grinding on my lap in an empty classroom while she kept insisting she was “still a good student”. The game doesn’t scream “you picked choice X so now Y happens”, it just lets the corruption stack and suddenly you’re in some filthy situation that started with a tiny decision three scenes ago. The MC goes from stuttering mess to smug manipulator way faster than feels healthy, but weirdly it fits, since the woman who gave you the powers clearly doesn’t care about your morals. You also get “extras” from her gift that she doesn’t know about, and the way the game lets you lie to her while you keep milking those perks is way more erotic than I expected; she talks about scientific progress while you secretly push girls past the line for your own fun. Some scenes get pretty intense, like harem setups where all the different corrupted personalities clash around you, and it still pretends to be a mystery story on top. The only thing that annoyed me is how the MC sometimes suddenly grows a spine in dialogue and then goes back to being awkward again right after a sex scene, like the game forgot which version of him was active, but by the time you’re juggling several girls in that school and mixing magic like a horny data scientist doing A/B tests on human lust, it really doesn’t matter anymore.

RuleUniverse feels like someone mashed Dragon Ball fanfiction, horny Twitter art and a half-finished Ren’Py project, then accidentally made it kind of addictive. You start as this lonely overachiever kid that reads like every shonen protagonist in history, then a demon scientist pops up and says, “hey, let’s stuff your body with DNA from the strongest fighters in the universe, what could go wrong.” It’s delightfully stupid in that fanfic way, but precisely because of that, it works. The game knows it’s a parody, it doesn’t try to pretend it’s “deep”, and then it suddenly throws in a line about destiny or guiding the universe and you’re like… alright, Toriyama-with-horny-mods, calm down.

The real fun is how transparently it worships its women. Bulma, Chi-Chi, Android 18, that whole legendary boob-and-ass pantheon is here, clearly shaped by someone who grew up pausing VHS at the worst places. The models are 3D and exaggerated as hell: huge tits, fat asses, those shiny anime lips that just scream “she’s going to suck him off in like two clicks.” Animated scenes actually move, not just two stiff characters rubbing like broken Sims; you get thrusting, jiggling, drool, that soft spit string when you pull out from a blowjob, all the little pervy details that tell you the dev really wanted this for themselves first. One moment you’re doing basic combat with ki blasts and energy auras, the next you’re balls-deep in Bulma in a lab, with wires and science junk in the background like that somehow makes it ethical. And the combat’s funny: it pretends to be serious, but all you’re thinking is “okay, how many fights until I unlock the next sex scene with Android 18.” Sometimes the sandbox part feels less like a “world” and more like a small playground with a fence around it, but the loops of walking around, clicking, triggering small events, slowly unlocking more lewd stuff… it scratched that same spot as old flash games I used to sneak at school on shitty browsers.

I kinda love how messy it is. The romance tries to act sentimental for a second, then five lines later you’re face-fucking a milf with magic powers while she moans like someone recorded it in a bathroom on a cheap mic. Dialog swings from “I will guide the universe” to “fuck me harder” without the slightest shame. Exploration is simple, a little repetitive, but I still kept wandering, poking every corner hoping there’s a hidden event where Chi-Chi finally snaps and rides the protagonist like he’s the last Saiyan on earth. Some text sounds like it was written at midnight by a dude half-remembering DBZ arcs from YouTube AMVs, which, honestly, is the right energy. I do wish the world reacted more to what you do, like if you bang Bulma enough, Vegeta starts showing up mad or something, but I know that kind of feature is exactly the thing that stays in the dev’s “maybe later” notes forever. Still, when you’re watching Android 18 slowly drop to her knees after you save her in a fight and she rewards you with this sloppy, animated blowjob, with her tits barely contained and that quiet smug smile when she swallows, it hits the trashy, horny, teen-power-fantasy nerve in a very specific way. It’s not elegant. It’s not smart. It’s like a wet doujin turned half-game, half-daydream, and somehow that’s exactly why it sticks.