You know that feeling when your calendar hits “International Talk Like A Pirate Day” and you kinda want a game that actually leans into it, but also rails you into next week? Lusty Buccaneers is exactly in that stupidly specific overlap. It pretends to be about treasure and adventure, but after the first ten minutes it’s very clear the real loot is ass and humiliation. You’re this rookie pirate, supposedly “future legend of the seas”, and the first thing you actually do is get bullied by a captain with tits that should honestly have their own wanted poster. She talks like a mix of dominatrix and HR manager from hell, tells you to kneel, calls you useless, then gives you a “private examination” in her cabin that somehow involves a strap-on, your ass, and the word “crew discipline” said way too sweet. Loved it. Hated it. Still clicked every option that made her more cruel.

What I enjoyed most is how the game keeps pretending it’s wholesome shounen pirate adventure. You get this big world map, little sandbox vibe, random ports, “mystery islands”, new crewmates, some goofy parody of famous anime pirates with names just close enough to make you snort. Then the scenes hit. One moment you negotiate with a monster girl who looks like someone mashed a mermaid, a cowgirl milf and your search history from xVideos. Next moment you’re handcuffed to the mast, covered in milk and cum, while your captain makes you watch her get double stuffed by a pair of huge black pirates you “accidentally” recruited. It calls itself romance in the menu, but yeah, good luck staying pure. The corruption route is way too fun. I tried to be loyal, I really did, then the game throws a futa swordswoman at you with abs, a massive dick and footplay options and suddenly your “honor” is at the bottom of the ocean.

The multiple endings thing actually works here, even if half of them just feel like different flavors of “you turned into a perverted slave mascot for an all-girl crew.” Got a soft spot for the one where your pirate harem looks normal on the surface, but in reality every girl is sleeping with everyone behind your back and the game keeps dropping little voyeur scenes if you click the wrong cabin at night. There is this one early moment I keep thinking about, when you catch two crew girls in the storage room, one in full crossdressing outfit, giving a sloppy blowjob while the other milks her and laughs about how they’re going to “share you next.” You can walk away like a virgin idiot or stay and watch from a barrel. I left the first time, because I am dumb. Regretted it the entire session. Also the mobile version works suspiciously well, which is a blessing and a curse, because playing a POV anal scene with a corrupted student-turned-pirate on the train while pretending you are checking Spotify is absolutely a new low. In a good way. Sort of. I still think the crew management is shallow and the cuckold bits sometimes go a bit too hard, then again I click every NTR flag I find, so maybe that’s on me. Anyway, it’s the kind of filthy vacation island porn game where you promise to just “check it quickly” for stream planning and then suddenly you’re debating which futa captain you want to knock you up.

So this game basically throws you onto some magical anime girl island after you get horny and follow some chick with a fat ass - yeah that's literally the setup and honestly? It works. Don't Toy With Me is one of those sandbox harem deals where you're surrounded by every waifu you've ever jerked off to, from Hinata's massive tits to Zero Two's perfect curves. The whole thing feels like someone's wet dream made manifest, which I guess it literally is according to the dev.

The variety is insane though - you got your shy Hinata types, your bratty Nagatoro energy, thicc One Piece girls like Robin and Nami, plus a bunch of others I recognized but can't remember the names of right now. Each girl has their own little personality quirks and the interactions feel pretty natural for what they are. Like when you're chatting with Nagatoro she's actually being a teasing bitch instead of just generic anime girl #47. The sex scenes are animated which is nice, lots of titfucks and creampies and the usual stuff you'd expect. Some of the girls look a bit young but that's anime for you I guess? The ahegao faces during climax scenes are chef's kiss though.

What bugs me is the school setting feels kinda pointless - like why am I attending classes when I could be railing Yoruichi instead? But then again maybe that's the point, building up tension before you get to the good stuff. The mobile version runs smooth on my phone which is surprising since most of these games lag like hell. There's this whole mystery about how you ended up there but honestly who gives a shit when Erza Scarlett wants to fuck your brains out. The sandbox element means you can basically choose your own adventure with whoever catches your eye that day. Sometimes I wish there was more story but then Esdeath shows up and suddenly I don't care about plot anymore.

Your pap dies off-screen, leaves you his whole damn job in Soul Society, and you’re still basically a horny newbie who barely remembers which captain hates which. That’s the vibe here. You’re thrown in as the new commander, everyone calls you “taicho” with that fake respect, and half the time you’re trying to decide if you should fix the political mess or just fuck your way through it. First scene already tells you how it goes: one minute you’re at a funeral, the next you’re staring at Rukia’s legs way too long and thinking “yeah this is not how a responsible leader behaves” while the game kinda smiles and says, “good, keep going.” It doesn’t pretend to be epic and serious, even when it tries. You talk to captains, you mess with schedules, send squads on missions, but every choice has that “ok but how does this help me get into her pants” feeling. Sometimes it’s soft stuff, like walking Hinata-style shy girls out of their shell with dumb little compliments, sometimes it’s straight up “I’m your commander, get on your knees” and the game doesn’t flinch at all.

What really hooked me was how dirty it gets once you stop being polite. At first I was like “I’ll play the good boy,” trying to keep everyone friendly, but you run into Rangiku and her tits are basically their own cutscene, spilling out of the uniform every time she bends forward. You can tease her, get teased back, or just push it into rough territory if you set your dominance high enough. Same with Yoruichi. One route she’s trolling you, laughing in your face, making you jerk off like a dog while she watches. Different route, you’ve got her on all fours, collar biting into her neck, ass up and dripping while you decide if it’s going to be slow pussy worship or full-on choke-and-cream. The game doesn’t hide the nasty stuff: sleep sex scenes, voyeurism when you spy on captains bathing, lesbian side events with girls grinding on each other while you’re just there stroking, ahegao faces that would get you banned on Instagram in one second. It’ll let you titfuck Orihime on your office chair, footjob from some smug captain who pretends she hates you, sex toys stuffed into subordinates while they’re trying to keep a straight face in meetings. One moment you’re holding a sweet romance flag with someone like Inoue, later you’re watching her gag on your cock while her eyes roll up, drool everywhere, and then you still go to a “respectful” briefing like nothing happened. The AI CG actually surprised me a bit, sometimes it looks weird on fingers but then you get a midnight creampie scene with Nel or a rough blowjob with Tsunade-tier milf and suddenly you forget everything you wanted to complain about. I still hate that tiny menu button that’s slightly off-center and my brain screams every time I tap it, but yeah, this is one of those games where you say “ok, just one more scene” and then your dick hurts but you still click.

So there I was, expecting another generic isekai trash game, but this hell-school thing actually caught me off guard. The premise sounds stupid at first - truck-kun strikes again, right? But then you're stuck being principal of some twisted academy where anime waifus end up trapped. The she-devil who recruits you has this whole seductive manipulation thing going on, and honestly? Her voice acting isn't terrible for what looks like a budget production. You get thrown into this weird city managing all these girls from different series - Tsunade's there looking magnificent as always, Sakura's being her usual self, even got Makima which... damn, that woman's dangerous even in pixel form.

The sandbox elements let you wander around freely, but sometimes I got lost trying to figure out what triggers certain scenes. Mai Sakurajima shows up and suddenly I'm having Bunny Girl Senpai flashbacks to my younger days discovering ecchi anime. The groping mechanics feel clunky though - like they just slapped them in without much thought. Oral scenes are surprisingly well animated for such a rough-looking game, especially with Boa Hancock who knows exactly what she's doing. But then Hinata's scenes feel rushed compared to others? Makes no sense. The male domination stuff ranges from playful teasing to more intense moments, and you can choose how far to push things with each girl.

What really gets me is the moral choice system - help these trapped waifus escape or drag them deeper into corruption for your demonic boss. Some paths lead to genuine romance while others... well, let's just say Nobara Kugisaki has some very explicit punishment scenes if you go the darker route. The vaginal sex animations could use work but there's something raw about the whole experience that reminds me of those early flash games we used to play in secret. Zero Two's route especially had me making choices I probably shouldn't admit to. Not gonna lie, spent way too many hours trying to unlock everything with Nami.