Feels weird to call Parasite Black a “game” when half the time it feels more like some horny, cursed holiday special I accidentally made into a tradition. I’m doing this goofy calendar-board thing on my stream where each day gets a theme, and this one ended up in the “Evil Santa’s Mistake” slot. Fits too well. You’re this poor bastard who survives a suicide mission and comes back with something inside you that really shouldn’t be there, and from that point on Mirnos basically turns into one huge “how ruined can this guy’s body and morals get” experiment. One second you’re plotting turn order in combat, next second you’re watching a milf sorceress ride you while her lactation literally stains the screen and you forget there was a fight at all. Not even joking, I missed a button prompt because I got distracted by jiggle physics and a smug dialogue line about “needing to relieve the pressure.”

What I liked is how filthy moments sneak in sideways. You open the map thinking “ok, sandbox, explore a bit, maybe loot,” and then some corrupted nun-type offers “blessings” that are basically: blow the holy guy, get tentacle’d behind the altar, then end up in a threesome where you kind of lose track who has a dick and who has a spell. There’s futa in there, but it isn’t thrown at you like a big neon sign. It just shows up in the middle of a foursome and you go “oh, ok, that’s happening now,” and it works. Same with the voyeur stuff: I was just checking a room for loot and accidentally triggered a scene where an older queen-ish gilf is getting railed by her guard, and the game straight up asks if I want to watch or join. Picked watch first, because of course I did. Regretted and didn’t regret at the same time. And the pregnancy angle sneaks up too: after enough raw fucking, some characters start talking about “consequences” and suddenly the netori scene you thought was just you banging a guy’s wife has real fallout showing up later in dialogue. That part actually stung more than I expected.

Combat is turn based but not sleepy. You actually think about who to target, where to burn skills, and there’s this fun tension because you know if you win there’s a decent chance the reward is someone stripping, someone getting their ass used, or some monster using your new “gift” in ways that are definitely not approved by any fantasy church. Sometimes fights drag a bit and I just wanted to skip to the anal or the harem event I knew was sitting behind it, especially when some early mobs feel like HP sponges. And yeah, a few routes are more polished than others. You notice it when one milf gets a full animated riding scene with different speed cycles, but the random village girl just gets a quick blowjob loop and a line that reads like a first draft. Didn’t stop me from reloading to see if I could corrupt her more though. Playing on phone is way too easy, by the way. I was on a fake “bathroom break” at work, thumb-tapping through strategy choices and then suddenly there’s this animated tentacle thing spreading a knight’s ass, and I’m speed-hitting the screen like I’m messaging on Telegram so no one walking by hears the audio. Audio that is a bit uneven, by the way, like moans are hot but some lines feel like they were recorded with different mics. Still, when you end up in a harem pile with a big-tits demon, a pregnant ex-priestess and a snarky futa elf arguing over who gets your cock first while the world is literally being eaten around you, you kind of forget to be picky. I just wish the calendar had a “too horny to function” day, because that’s where this thing belongs.

Office Rivals starts with something stupidly simple: overtime, dead office air, screens burning your eyes, you hating your life but still trying to win that imaginary productivity war. Then Nanako walks in, all sharp tongue and big boobs pressed into that tight shirt, and suddenly Excel is the last thing on your mind. It feels like that coworker you swear you hate, but you remember how she used to laugh with you in college, how you used to check out her chest and then pretend you were noble. Here it hits way harder, because the game does not pretend this is just cute romance. It lets you be horny, petty, jealous and soft at the same time. One moment you are arguing about who closed the deal, next moment her hand is in your pants under the desk, stroking you slow while the monitor light hits her face. It is intimate and kind of mean at the same time, and I love that.

The whole thing is from your POV, so when she leans in, you see her tits fill the screen, buttons straining, just waiting. There is this one scene in a meeting room where she pretends to be all business, glasses on, talking about quarterly numbers, and under the table she guides your hand under her blouse. Fingers push her bra up, you feel the weight of her tits, and when you pinch, she gasps and tries to turn it into a cough. Then the game just goes all in. She is on her knees between your legs, licking the tip, drool sliding down your shaft. They actually animate the teasing, the tongue circling, her eyes looking up like she is saying "yeah, I win, you lose", while she jerks you with both hands. When you finally shove it between her boobs and start fucking those big soft tits, the physics are not perfect, but somehow that makes it hotter. They even give you internal view when you finally bury yourself inside her, watching the head push deep into her, stretching her open, like you are invading this rival you are not supposed to care about anymore. You do. A lot.

What really messed me up is how the game ties all this filth to your choices. You can play it like an idiot who just wants to pump her full of cum and brag in his head, or like some lovesick fool who pretends the creampie is just "stress relief" while clearly wanting to knock her up. There are multiple endings, so that first time you lose control and finish inside, you are not sure if it is just a hot office accident or the start of a pregnancy route. There is this one path where she holds your dick at her entrance, smirking, saying she forgot her pills, and you can either pull out and watch the cum spray on her belly, or push in and keep thrusting until she wraps her legs around you and milks you dry. Later you see her nipples swollen, a bit of lactation starting when you suck hard, and it is such a small detail but it stays in your mind. The voyeur angle shows up too, like when a coworker almost walks in and you are balls deep in her, her hand slapped on the glass to keep from moaning. I was literally alt-tabbing between this and my work Slack, thinking "if Nanako was real, she would absolutely ruin my life, then make me thank her while she rides me again in that stupid office chair." And I would let her, obviously.

Last night I boot this thing up thinking, ok, one last jerk before YGGDRASIL dies, log off, go sleep. Instead the whole vibe goes full “what if your porn game suddenly took you serious”. You’re in Nazarick, sure, but it’s not just click scene, jerk, done. The NPC girls actually look at you like you’re a real bastard who walked into their story at the worst possible time. Enri asking you why your hands are shaking while you’re trying to act all cool, Albedo leaning over your shoulder way too close while you poke around menus that shouldn’t even exist anymore. It feels like when Chrome freezes on a hentai tab and suddenly you see your own reflection on the black screen. That kind of tiny shame but also “yeah ok I’m into this now”.

What got me was how the harem stuff doesn’t feel like a checklist. Albedo is still obsessed with you, but the game really lets you be a perv about it. You can push her into this “perfect wife but with breeding brainrot” angle, going for raw vaginal all the time, watching her panic when you don’t pull out, talking pregnancy like it’s just another buff. Then you slide over to Shalltear and she’s a whole different kind of crazy, like the devs asked “how horny can one vampire be before it breaks the engine” and then did not stop in time. I had this scene where she made me finish inside her on purpose in front of a mirror, then licked it off her thighs while complaining I didn’t push her hard enough. Next minute I’m in the same save file drinking tea with Evileye like some awkward virgin who only knows sex from porn. No smooth transition, just emotional whiplash in the best way.

The monster girl stuff is where it gets weird-good. Entoma and Solution are not “oh look cute bug/maid, press F to fuck”. Solution basically treats your dick like a thing to store in her body like any other item, calm as if she’s sorting inventory, and that was way hotter than I expected. Entoma’s voice vs face vs body combo messes with your brain, and the first time she asks if she can “keep some” of what you shoot in her, I just sat there like, excuse me what. Kyouhukou exists, I will say only that, and if you go down that tunnel you do it on your own risk. Interracial hits different here because it’s not just human and dark skin, it’s you and literally inhuman girls trying to understand why you get off from using them like this. At one point I had Lupusregina riding me raw in a storage room while Mare walked in and pretended he didn’t see anything, and the game lets that awkward silence breathe just long enough to make you feel like a total creep, then rewards you with another creampie option like it’s nothing. The sandbox part is janky as hell sometimes, you can wander around doing random prostitution gigs for cash you absolutely don’t need, but that messy structure kind of fits. Feels like being stuck in a dying MMO that decided it wants to be your porn-filled second life instead. You think you’ll just log out after one quick masturbation session, and the game quietly goes, “No you won’t, slut”, and you listen.

Guy wakes up as the only dick in a whole village of monster girls and somehow this is considered a “problem” that needs to be solved. The goddess of fertility looks at this scrawny orphan warrior and goes: yeah, you, go breed a thousand girls, that’ll fix it. No ceremony, no romance, just straight up “go fuck until my numbers look good again.” And the crazy part is the game actually treats that like a main quest, not just flavor text. Every scene, every cut-in, every little turn-based fight is quietly ticking that counter up, like you’re grinding EXP but the EXP is how many times you’ve blown a load inside some thirsty monster girl with ridiculous tits.

The start makes you think it’s going to be generic: small village, tutorial fights, “you’re still a virgin” jokes. Then you walk outside and the first monster girl that tries to kill you is also begging to be filled once you beat her. The combat is that old school turn-based stuff, nothing fancy, but it works because half your brain is already planning how you’re going to break her in after the last hit lands. You pick skills, poke weaknesses, manage a simple party with that elf girl and that demon girl trailing behind you, pretending this is some heroic journey, while actually they’re just lining up to be next on the breeding list. One moment you’re counting damage numbers, next moment you’re watching a creampie scene where the camera just stays there a bit too long on the cum slowly leaking out of her pussy, like the dev was a little too proud of that detail. And the pregnancy thing isn’t just a joke line either. Girls talk about it, worry about it, beg for it. You finish inside, belly twitches, and she’s already talking about giving the goddess more kids while your character is still panting.

Weird thing is, it’s horny but kind of cozy. You go from village to village, collecting monster girls like you’re building a harem-shaped party menu. Lamia with heavy tits, shy slime girl that clings to you, grinning demon chick that treats every fight like foreplay. The elf is supposedly the “serious” one, but she’s the first to moan like crazy when you finally fuck her on some random forest path after a boss fight, legs shaking while you pump her full and the game quietly updates that invisible “mission for the goddess” shit. On mobile it actually plays fine, tapping through combat, then using the same hand for, well, not combat. Pornhub on one tab, this in another, and suddenly you’re way too invested in whether knocking up a dragon girl gives better dialogue than the cow girl you bred earlier. It’s not classy, it’s not subtle, but when the main loop is “win, pin her down, slide in raw, fill her up, move on,” you don’t really need subtle. You just need your battery charged and maybe one more round with that smug demon girl who keeps calling you a weakling until you’re pushing her into the mattress and spilling inside her anyway.