This thing starts kind of goofy and horny at the same time, which hits my nostalgia brain pretty hard. Back when I was hiding on Newgrounds and F95 in shitty school computers, all the lewd stuff tried to be “serious” and edgy, and here you get this Halloween ghost-hunting crew that is absolutely not professional at all. You’re supposed to be managing this little team for some fake-ass TV show called “The Ghost Hunt”, but half the time it feels like herding perverts who accidentally got cameras and EMF meters. The first scene where you’re interviewing your crew cracked me up: you ask a simple work question and in two clicks it turns into “so if a ghost possessed my panties, would you still film?” kind of thing. It’s stupid, and horny, and feels like exactly the kind of trash I was playing on Kongregate while pretending it was “just a visual novel, not porn”.

What I liked a lot is how small choices keep nudging the vibe. You can push the team to be “professional” and they still end up in some ridiculous sexual mess during a haunted house pre-check. I had one run where I tried to be serious manager, checking equipment, asking about safety, and then the redhead just casually drops something like “If a spirit wants my body, I’m not saying no” and the dialogue options are all some flavor of “ok but we’re filming it”. She is such a classic old-school porn VN redhead too: that messy teasing, fake innocence, the kind of girl who will call you “boss” with a smirk while holding a ghost detector way too close to her tits so it keeps beeping. I like her, then sometimes I hate her, often in the same scene. At one point I was sure the game wants me to take her side, then suddenly she’s roasting the MC for being a creep and I was like, yeah, fair. The writing flips like that a lot. It’s not deep, but it feels like someone actually horny wrote it, not a committee.

Sex scenes are built up with jokes more than tension, which is weirdly hot. There’s one early investigation in an abandoned hotel where the crew argues if they should turn off the lights “for atmosphere” and you know damn well it’s just an excuse to push people into each other in the dark. When the “ghost activity” starts, it’s half horror, half “oops my clothes are slipping, maybe the ghost did it”. I usually hate that “comedy first, sex second” pacing, but here it sort of works because the MC is clearly in on the bullshit, not pretending to be some noble hero. The spooky parts are light horror, like old Flash games that tried to be scary but instead made you horny because the girl screams and grabs you. There’s this one stupid little detail that stuck in my head: the sound of the EMF reader going off right when a character starts moaning. It’s such a tiny, cheesy timing trick, and it made me laugh every single time, and then I started to wait for it like Pavlov dog. I actually wish they would stop doing that after a while, but they don’t, and now my brain just links beeping to fucking, which is probably not healthy. The management side is barely management, more like an excuse to pick who flirts with whom before the next spooky blowjob in the hallway, and yet I found myself min-maxing like an idiot, trying to get the “perfect” setup for more redhead screen time. It makes no sense. Also the UI spacing on some choice menus annoys me and I am still annoyed and it will never get fixed. But the whole thing has this messy, horny Halloween-night-with-a-bad-porn-parody energy that reminded me of playing trashy ghost hentai games on a ten year old laptop, hiding the browser tab every time someone walked behind me.

Elly shows up at Meridian Heights thinking she’s just a shy redhead with a scholarship and a big campus to get lost in, and the game kind of laughs at that idea from the first scene. It starts slow and chill, more like some slice of life VN than a porn sandbox, with her wandering around dorms and classrooms, doing little errands, bumping into weirdly friendly teachers and classmates who are just a bit too touchy for a normal school. The humor hits you in those early dialogues: her inner thoughts are half wholesome, half “oh shit did he really just stare at my ass,” and it’s fun watching her pretend she doesn’t notice while the text openly calls bullshit on her. There’s this moment in the cafeteria where a guy “accidentally” brushes her thigh under the table and she tells herself it was no big deal, but the game lets you pick whether she pulls away, ignores it, or kind of leans into it. That tiny scene, more than the big ones, sets the tone. You’re not just clicking for sex. You’re basically negotiating how fast she drops her limits, how much she enjoys being teased, how much she uses her body to get what she wants, while the world quietly keeps score.

The school layout feels like a proper sandbox, even when it annoys you. You go to campus, open the map, hop between the gym, dorms, lecture halls, random corridors that exist mostly so someone can try to grope Elly when nobody is watching. Sometimes it’s hot, like that bit in the library when a professor “helps” her study and his hand just stays on her lower back longer than it should, sliding down while she tries to focus on the book. Sometimes it’s just stupid, like walking back and forth three times because an NPC only shows up in the fucking afternoon and you forget, again. The corruption vibe creeps in scene by scene: the clothes choices get shorter, her reactions to being pinned against a locker shift from shocked to secretly turned on, and the dialogue changes in small ways. One day she calls some guy a pervert, later she just calls him “bold” and smirks. You feel it most when a harmless prank turns into her letting someone squeeze her tits in a dark classroom “as payment.” It’s funny, dirty, and a bit fucked up all at once. The game never really pretends she’s safe, but it also lets her own it if you push her that way. And when she cracks a joke about how many “extra credit” offers she’s getting, while you send her right back into that same corridor where everyone seems to grab her ass, it hits that specific porn game sweet spot: you know exactly what you’re doing to her and you still click the next option.

Fran is one of those protagonists who feels like the quiet kid you half-remember from your own class, the one who sits near the window and pretends the outside world is more interesting than whatever the teacher is writing on the board. Except in this case, the teacher is Ruby, and she’s absolutely not the kind of woman you ignore. Huge boobs barely fitting in a “professional” blouse, tight skirt that makes you think “there is no dress code here, right?”, and that fake strict look where you can see the smile hiding at the corner of her mouth. The whole thing plays like a slow burn that someone suddenly turned into a furnace with one stupid box of chocolates. Aphrodisiac chocolates, of course, because this story doesn’t even pretend to be innocent. You’re stuck in this classroom with her, the desks, the chalkboard, that fluorescent light hum that feels way too real if you ever sat through a boring lesson, except now the teacher is trying to hold herself together while her body basically screams to jump the student she’s supposed to be tutoring.

What I like here is how it doesn’t rush straight to “everything off, dick out, go”. You start with little stuff. Her leaning over just a bit too close, boobs pressing against your arm like it’s an accident. The way she keeps pulling at her blouse because it feels “hot” inside, and the more she does it, the more the top buttons lose the war. There’s a moment where she asks you to “help her focus” and puts your hand on her thigh under the desk, and she’s still trying to solve some textbook problem while your fingers are creeping up her stockings. That’s where the game shines: that awkward horny tension, where both know it’s wrong and both very clearly do not care. Then the aphrodisiac really hits and it just turns into this messy, needy teacher who starts groping you first, kissing like she’s been holding it back for months, lipstick smearing, her breathing getting all rough. Before you know it she’s pushing her big tits together around your cock, rubbing them up and down with this dazed, hungry look in her eyes, and the shy boy act from Fran cracks into straight-up lust. The first time you blow your load all over her face and glasses, she has that shocked “oh my god, my student just did that on me” expression mixed with a tiny proud smile, like she secretly wanted to wear your cum as makeup. I laughed a bit there, it feels filthy in a very specific school-memory way.

The art does most of the heavy lifting. Ruby’s a redhead with that slightly mature vibe, not some babyfaced anime blob, and seeing her go from “proper teacher” to drooling your cock in her mouth, swallowing and still begging for more, hits hard. The groping is very physical here: hands full of boob, fingers digging into her ass, her grabbing your dick through the pants first, tracing the shape, acting surprised at how “big” it feels for a student, even though yeah, of course it is, that’s how this genre works. There’s a nice little touch where she tries to keep it romantic, calling you cute, petting your hair, kissing your forehead before going back to licking the tip and teasing you until you can’t hold back and cum again. It’s sweet and trashy at the same time. I kind of wish the classroom had more little interactive stuff, like using the teacher’s chair differently or messing around with the windows, but it just stays in roughly the same spots. Also, there’s a tiny sound effect when the chalk hits the board at one point that annoyed the hell out of me and I don’t fully know why, it just felt too sharp compared to her soft moans and wet sucking noises. Anyway, the whole thing is basically: shy male student, horny teacher losing control thanks to some dumb chocolates, lots of oral, tits wrapped around your cock, and her face ending up sticky and satisfied while pretending nothing happened. It’s wrong in exactly the way it wants to be.

I didn’t expect to laugh this much during what’s basically a porn game about rebuilding civilization with your dick, but here we are. “Dickcare” doesn’t even pretend to have subtlety, which somehow makes it better. It’s like the dev looked at every crossover hentai fantasy - Velma squinting behind foggy glasses, Raven pretending she’s not into it, Tatsumaki rolling her eyes while secretly moaning - and said, yeah, let’s just throw them all in one ruined world and call it salvation. The writing’s half self-aware and half deranged sincerity; the voice lines swing between awkwardly horny and genuinely funny. There’s one scene with Frankie in a busted gym locker room that made me pause, not because it was hot (though it is), but because she calls you “hero” in this weird soft tone right before things get messy. It stays in your head longer than expected.

What’s wild is how much *sound* adds to everything. You can tell someone cared about the way a zipper slides down or the slap echoing off concrete walls. The sandbox part? Looser than it sounds. You wander, talk, get distracted by some zombie side plot that doesn’t matter, and suddenly Velma’s stuck halfway through a ventilation shaft. It’s ridiculous, yeah, but also... kind of perfect. There’s no grind, no fake moral choice. Just dirty, absurd freedom. Though, I swear one moaning loop cuts off too early - it’s such a small glitch but now I obsess over it. Maybe that’s the point: perfection would ruin the charm.

It’s funny how a game full of cum jokes and cartoon parodies ends up feeling more alive than most serious stuff. Maybe because it doesn’t care if you take it seriously. One minute you’re saving humanity, next you’re wiping something off Raven’s cape while she pretends not to blush. If there were awards for “Most Unnecessarily Emotional Cum Scene,” this one wins without competition.