Bayonetta always had this “I could crush you with a heel and you’d say thank you” vibe in the original games, and here that energy is just stripped of pretense and pointed straight into your crotch. The whole thing feels like someone took the idea of a serious witch story, got bored halfway, and said “fuck it, let’s just make her ride this poor bastard until he forgets his name.” You start with the usual set up, some flimsy excuse of a narrative about demons, contracts, sexy power, all that. You can read it if you’re in a mood, or just hammer the next button like a horny squirrel trying to open a nut. There’s this fun moment where she’s mid-dialogue, talking like she owns the whole damn universe, and you cut her off by skipping the text and jumping straight into her grinding her hips down, and it almost feels wrong, like interrupting a priest. A very stacked, very evil priest who calls you a pervert while bouncing on your cock.

What I liked most is how the customization is stupidly simple but still hits hard. You tweak her hair, maybe loosen the outfit a bit more, change tiny things in her look and suddenly she feels like a different flavor of the same dangerous milf. Sometimes I spent longer in those menus than in the actual “action” parts, just nudging sliders, going “nah, more cleavage, no, even more, yeah, that’s it,” like I was sculpting a sin. There’s this one scene where her glasses are slightly different and for some reason it made the rough sex moment feel way more personal, like this was my private version of Bayonetta that Nintendo would absolutely sue over. The sex itself is straight to the point, almost rude about it. She talks like she knows exactly how pathetic you are, rides you, slaps, squeezes, grabs, and the game is shameless about throwing you into the cumming part without long foreplay if you want. Sometimes it’s actually too fast. You click through the “porn bastards” style story, tweak her look a bit, and boom, she’s already on top and you’re finishing before your brain even catches up. It’s like ordering a huge meal and the waiter just slams dessert on your table first.

There’s rough moments that feel really good in a way that’s not nice at all. She chokes you with her thighs, calls you something filthy, arches her back, and you get that rush that only comes when a character looks like she could ruin your life and you’re begging her to. I kind of wish there were more positions, or at least one scene where she actually slows down and teases instead of just pounding like a cursed metronome, but that’s not what this thing is aiming for. It’s more like a quick, nasty fan fantasy where Bayonetta stops pretending to be a stylish superhero and just becomes the terrible idea you jerk off to after too much Reddit and horny Twitter art. The parody side is fun too, you recognize the attitude, the poses, the way she moves her hands like she’s still summoning demons, except now the “demon” is basically your dick and she’s casting the same spell over and over until you give in. If you want to squeeze every drop out of it, don’t rush the first run. Play with her look, read at least some of the dirty story, then, when you feel that edge starting to creep in, kill the self-control, skip everything, and slam your way straight to the ending scene. Treat it like a one night stand where you already know her name but pretend you don’t.