It’s weird how this game feels both filthy and kinda wholesome at the same time. Like, you’re just a farmer, right? Doing your chores, minding your crops, and suddenly there’s this pig-girl princess showing up in your barn acting like she owns the place. She’s spoiled as hell but somehow adorable, rolling her eyes while asking you to “show her how humans do it.” The writing doesn’t even pretend to be subtle - one second you’re talking about feeding pigs, next thing you’re milking something that definitely isn’t a cow. The transitions are janky in a funny way, like the devs knew exactly what they were doing and didn’t care if it made sense. Honestly, I respect that kind of chaos.

The humor hits that perfect spot between dumb and clever. There’s a scene where the royal advisor tries to lecture you about “proper conduct with livestock” while you’re literally hiding behind hay bales with the princess moaning your name. It’s stupidly hot and stupidly funny. And the futa twist? Didn’t see that coming (pun totally intended). The first time it happens, you just stare for a second like - wait, did that just grow? But it works because the tone never shifts into serious mode; it stays playful, teasing, constantly flirting with absurdity. There’s even a lactation gag that somehow turns into a group scene, and by then you’ve stopped questioning logic entirely. You just go with it.

I kinda wish the farmer had more dialogue options though; sometimes he just grunts or blushes when you want him to say something dirtier. But maybe that’s part of the charm - you project your own filth onto him. The art style’s got that soft, round look that makes everything feel warm even when it’s absolute debauchery. And yeah, I laughed out loud when the princess called herself “royal pork” mid-handjob. Who writes that? Whoever they are, they get it. It’s horny, messy, self-aware, and doesn’t apologize for any of it.

You start as this kinda washed up freelance coder, broke as hell, living in a cluttered apartment that feels way too real if you ever tried to work from home with ten Chrome tabs, Discord, and Pornhub open together. The game drops you right in the middle of money problems, a half-finished “special software” project, and then, boom, your niece ends up moving in after a fight with her mom about college. It sounds like generic porn setup, but the pacing is strangely patient. There’s a lot of slow build, a lot of just… looking. Peeking. Checking your phone, checking her job search tabs, checking her ass when she bends over to pick something up. The voyeur thing creeps up, it’s not like: “here is the voyeur scene.” It feels more like watching someone’s OnlyFans leak, where you know you’re not supposed to have access but you keep scrolling anyway.

They go really hard on the “corruption” angle, but in a way that’s less cartoon villain and more death-by-a-thousand-little-touches. You see her walk around barefoot and at first it’s nothing, then a few scenes later the camera lingers on her feet resting on the table, close to your plate, and suddenly the game goes, “yeah, you’re into that now.” And it kind of works. The first time she absent-mindedly rubs her heel along your thigh while watching some stupid Netflix romcom in the background, I actually had to pause because it felt almost accidental, like a mistake in animation, but then the text calls it out and you realize, nah, that shit was on purpose. The footjob scene later hits harder because of this slow drip. I still think the toes are animated weird, but by that point I didn’t care.

Sex wise it jumps all over the place, like someone dumping their Pornhub search history directly into Ren’Py. You get classic masturbation scenes where you catch her in the bathroom and just watch through a tiny gap. There is a lot of groping that starts soft and then crosses a line so quietly that when anal suddenly shows up it doesn’t feel like a new fetish, more like “ok, we finally admitted where this was going.” One moment you’re just helping her practice for a “massage therapist” job she found on some sketchy job site, and next she’s straddling you, grinding slowly, calling you out for staring at her tits, all while you pretend to “test” your software. Honestly that part is kind of genius and kind of stupid at the same time, because the whole app interface inside the story is more customizable than the real game UI, which is ironic in a bad way.

From accessibility angle, I was swearing at my monitor more than once. Text size is tiny by default and the font is thin, and when you try to bump it up in the options, yeah, you can change it, but then some menus clip out of their boxes like they never tested it on anything bigger than a laptop. I play on a 1440p screen and the dialogue box hugs the very bottom with no padding. If you have any visual strain, you’ll feel it fast. No high-contrast mode, no colorblind choices, and the highlight for selected choices is this faint little color shift that disappeared completely when I had f.lux + low brightness on. I missed a choice because I genuinely couldn’t see which line was active, and this is in a porn game where a single click can flip from “voyeur teasing” to full-on group sex with the milf neighbor and her babysitter friend. Speaking of them, the lesbian scenes between those two are actually some of the best in the game, low on dialogue, high on body language, but again, the camera sometimes zooms on pale skin on pale background and the subtitles stay light gray. Good luck if your eyesight is shit.

I tried running it on my Steam Deck through the browser, and the touch targets for the menu are too small, especially the scroll bar for the gallery. The CG scenes are hot, like when the niece is bent over your desk, getting spanked while pretending it’s some “motivation” to finish her job search, but the thumbnails are tiny and there’s no text description for them, so if you have trouble with visual recognition or you just want to know “is this the anal one or the voyeur shower one?” you’re stuck opening each. No audio description either, not even basic subtitles for background sounds. There are moans and footsteps and door sounds that matter for the voyeur routes, but if you need clarity and rely on text, you’ll miss the whole “she caught you peeking” switch because it’s sound based. I love how careful the story is with the slow corruption and cheating vibes, yet the interface feels like it was thrown together at the end of a long night on too much coffee. Or not enough.

Guy wakes up with a shit childhood behind him and suddenly everyone expects him to be normal, go to school, run a cafe and not stare at every pair of tits that walks past the counter. That’s the basic mood. You’re this dude trying to turn a tiny, half-broken cafe into something real, while your last year of school keeps tripping you up. And every girl that drifts into your orbit somehow ends up tangled in this weird mix of “aww that’s cute” and “why am I hard again, she just asked for coffee.” It starts soft: shy schoolgirl staying late to “help you close,” the older teacher pretending she’s only here to grade your project, the milf landlord who leans just a bit too far over the table when she’s talking about rent. It feels like a normal dating sim for a bit. Flirty texts, small talks, wiping tables, brushing against hips “by accident,” sucking glances at cleavage when they think you’re busy with the espresso machine. Then the game decides that if you’re going to be the man of this place, you’re going to really be the man.

Once the switch flips, it leans into wholesome but very clear male domination. Not angry, not cruel, more like “you’re mine now, isn’t that what you wanted?” and all the girls kinda melt into it. One moment you’re correcting a girl’s homework, next she’s on her knees between your legs in the back room, mouth full of cock, trying not to choke while students walk by outside the door. You’re teaching them “discipline” in your own way: spanking a bratty classmate bent over a cafe chair after closing, slow and deliberate hits on her ass until she stops talking back and just whimpers into the cushion. There’s this cute thing where a virgin girl keeps pretending she’s fine with just teasing, sitting on your lap, grinding on you through your pants while she serves customers, but her panties get soaked and eventually you just drag her into the storage room and fuck her properly, condom forgotten, her first time ending with you buried deep and creampie dripping down her thighs while she clings to your shirt and calls you sir. It tries really hard to be romantic but then you’re groping her boobs in the walk-in fridge with the milk cartons.

What works a lot better than I expected is how the cafe becomes this base of operations for your whole harem. At first it’s one-on-one scenes, but once they all start knowing about each other it shifts into this messy, horny family energy. Girls teasing each other behind the counter, one of them flashing her big tits from under the apron because she lost a bet, another one kneeling to give you a quick handjob under the table while you pretend to check the accounts on your phone. Group scenes escalate fast: you’ve got two girls on their knees sharing your cock, taking turns swallowing, spit strings everywhere, while a third straddles your face on a cafe sofa. Somebody always has a big ass bouncing on you, somebody else is spreading herself on the counter like she’s today’s special, and half the fun is that they’re all kind of exhibitionists at heart. Curtains not fully closed, door not really locked, a student walking past the windows while you’re pumping into a girl from behind, her tits pressed to the glass, fogging it up. The “slave” angle is there, but it feels more like they’re eager pets than broken toys. They wear collars under their school uniforms, hide marks from your spanking under long skirts, call you master with this embarrassing blush that makes it even hotter. There are a few weird tiny annoyances, like how one girl’s expression in a serious BDSM scene looks more like she smelled something bad than like she’s turned on, and once a looping animation just kept going a bit too long and killed the mood, but then another scene hits where you’ve got your whole harem in the closed cafe at night, every chair pushed aside, girls on tables and floor, moaning, cum on lips and bellies, and yeah, you kinda forget you were supposed to care about anything else.

Become Alpha is a porn game with tons of memes, kickass branching storyline, quests, RPG-like experience system, and a possibility to have sex with many partners. It's also pretty damn funny. The story is about Harry Panuchkin who's a nerd and a wannabe gangster. He has a big dick, but never actually used it. It's your job to help him get the pussy and make him a proper alpha male, that he always wanted to be.