It’s strange how this one tries to pretend it’s a parody while actually getting way too sincere halfway through. You start thinking it’s just cheap fanservice - Mavis smirking in that hotel corridor, Katara leaning against the pool edge - but then, out of nowhere, the dialogues start sounding like somebody’s diary. My English isn’t perfect, but even I can tell when a line hits too real. The Ren’Py interface is fine, though I got stuck trying to adjust the text speed; the button hides behind a translucent menu that looks nice but messes with screen readers. I use NVDA sometimes, and it freaked out completely during the Starfire route. Accessibility zero points there, sorry. But then again, when you’re watching Raven blush and mutter something filthy under her breath, you kind of don’t care about menus anymore.

At first, I thought the 3D models looked stiff; then I noticed how the camera lingers - not on obvious parts, but the small gestures, fingers twitching, eyes half-closed, that moment before someone decides “yeah, I want this.” It’s erotic, yes, but also messy, human. And yet, sometimes, it feels like the devs wanted to prove they could make emotional porn, only to end up making emotional confusion. Kim Possible calling you “hero” right after a scene that’s absolutely not heroic? Weirdly funny. Like the game knows it’s broken and leans into it. I swear one of the background tracks loops a single moan for ten minutes - thought my browser crashed. Didn’t. Just art, apparently.

Also, can we talk about Gwen’s route? She keeps referencing tech stuff that doesn’t exist, like “I’ll hack your desire protocol,” which sounds dumb until she actually pulls off an in-game stat change mid-dialogue. That moment made me laugh so hard I forgot what I was doing. Maybe that’s the point. It’s clumsy, horny, self-aware, and frustrating all at once. There’s no polish, but there’s personality dripping from every busted transition. I hate it. I think I love it. I don’t even know anymore.

So there's this game called Cartoon Hearts and honestly? It's kinda weird but in that good way where you can't look away from a car crash, except the car crash is horny teenagers and cartoon characters going to high school together.

You play some random dude - because it's always some random dude, isn't it - walking around what looks like a normal city but surprise! Raven's doing her goth thing in art class, Violet Parr's trying not to phase through her desk during math, and Starfire's probably setting something on fire in chemistry because that's just Tuesday for her. The whole setup is unhinged in the best possible way. Like someone took Saturday morning cartoons and said "what if they all went to the same school and had raging hormones?" which is either brilliant or deeply concerning depending on your perspective. The writing bounces between actually clever character interactions and moments where you're like wait did Raven just say that? Because she did and it's weird but also... kinda works?

Each girl's got her whole personality thing going on - shy artist with mysterious vibes, popular athlete who's secretly insecure, alien princess who doesn't understand human customs but definitely understands human anatomy. Standard visual novel fare but with characters you actually recognize instead of Generic Anime Girl #47. The dialogue gets pretty explicit when things heat up, which they do because that's literally the point. Some scenes hit different when it's characters you've known since you were like twelve, creates this whole cognitive dissonance that's either your thing or absolutely not your thing. No middle ground here. The art style does this thing where it tries to stay true to the original designs while making them more... adult-oriented, if you catch my drift. Sometimes it works great, other times Starfire looks like she walked out of a completely different universe than Teen Titans but whatever, you're not here for art consistency anyway.

This thing looks at you like some horny multiverse Tinder that went off the rails. You start as this pretty average dude, nothing heroic, nothing super broken, just that familiar "why are all these famous cartoon girls in my life now" energy. And then suddenly you’re stuck clicking around rooms, messing with a weird cube, and Rias is standing there with her boobs basically breaking gravity and you’re still pretending you’re interested in the plot. We tried to, for like five minutes. Then she bent over and the conversation system honestly became background noise.

The whole vibe is like some fanfiction thread escaped from Reddit and someone turned it into a point and click. There’s no huge tutorial slapping your face, you just poke at stuff. One moment you are trying to figure out what this ancient being in the cube wants from you, next moment you’re in what looks like a cheap school corridor and Rias is "thanking" you with a sloppy blowjob that gets more detailed than it has any right to. Her tits are huge, obviously, but they actually use that in scenes, not just as decoration. She presses them against you when you choose some dumb dialogue option and somehow it feels like the game is laughing at you while still making you hard. Then suddenly you’re with Raven, and she has that deadpan "I hate everything" look while you’re corrupting her bit by bit, talking her into small things first, like a kiss, a little groping, until she’s kneeling and the game quietly slides into full-on throat fucking with her mascara almost ruined. It looks wrong in a hot way, like you caught a wholesome Cartoon Network show sneaking off behind the gym to suck dick.

The AI art is kinda obvious sometimes. You can see fingers going weird in one CG, and Gwen’s nose changes shape between scenes like she’s got three different plastic surgeons on payroll. But then there’s this one moment with Starfire riding you, all orange skin and messy hair, and her face is half pure love and half cock-drunk, and suddenly the AI thing stops mattering. Animations are not crazy smooth, but that almost works, it reminds us of those old flash hentai games on Newgrounds you’d play in a hidden browser window at school. You click the wrong thing sometimes and trigger a repeat line or a half-broken transition, and it’s a bit annoying, but then Gwen is pushing your head between her thighs in some Total Drama crossover nonsense and complaining about how "this better improve my rating", and the scene just lands. Dialog is weird: sometimes actually funny, sometimes cringe as hell, especially when it tries to be deep about romance, like, nobody is here to think about emotions while Rias is spitting cum back on your shaft. But that contrast, this half-serious "save the ancient being" quest wrapped around corrupted waifus from your teen years, kind of sticks in your brain. We kept clicking, not really sure if we care about the cube, just wanting to see how far the game will drag each girl from cute to ruined, and honestly it goes pretty far.