Christmas comes early in this weird little horny card circus, and it arrives in the shape of a busted casino table covered in nut-stained decks and smug clowns. Imagine taking one of those mobile duel games where you keep drawing shiny cards, smashing them together, thinking about “strategy” like it is chess, then someone grabs your wrist, shoves your dick between pixel tits and says, “yeah yeah good tactics, now cum on the queen.” That is kind of the feeling here. It is like someone asked, “what if we took a serious deck builder and then completely ruined it with horny jokes, harem chaos, and clown faces that stare right into your soul when you misplay.” And somehow it works. Or maybe it doesn’t. I’m not even sure, but my browser history is not proud of me. You build up a deck, you try to make a nice combo, and in the middle of counting multipliers you suddenly care way more about which girl is going to squeeze your cock between her tits if you win the next round. Strategy meets horny brain rot and horny brain obviously wins.

The harem setup sneaks up on you a bit. At first it is just a couple girls teasing you, those 2D drawings with that cheap-but-hot style, like early Newgrounds had a baby with an old hentai flash site. Then you unlock another one, and she has a different “reward” for when you nail the round perfectly. One is all about titfucks, really leaning into that “let me hold your shaft between my boobs while you try to focus on the next hand” vibe. Another is way more into oral, with these long looping scenes where she drags her tongue up and down like she has all the time in the world and you are supposed to somehow play a smart turn while watching that. Penetration shows up too, standard pussy stuff, but laid over the card game in this almost stupid way that somehow becomes charming. You clear a wave, she rides you. You survive a bad draw, she spreads for you. Lose a big round? Back to the menu, dick sad, brain angry, hand still on the mouse like “one more run, I can fix this.” Sometimes the parody of serious card games hits hard, like seeing a big scary boss that is basically just a joker with cum jokes written all over his skills, and sometimes the humor falls flat, but the game does not really care. It keeps throwing new jokers, new card perks, more reasons to edge instead of think.

The jokers are the real degenerates here. They behave like those wild cards that mess with the whole run, except every one of them looks like the kind of clown that would fuck your harem behind your back, then pretend it is a buff and not a debuff. Some of them boost your scores, some twist your strategy into something completely different, and a few feel almost useless, yet you still pick them “just to see” because they have a filthy little effect tied to a sex scene you have not triggered yet. That is where the replay thing creeps in. Not because the game is super deep, even though some of the strategy moments are surprisingly tight, but because your horny brain keeps saying, “what happens if I stack this joker with that girl and stall one more round before cumming.” That one turn where I saved a losing run by risking a terrible hand, only to be “rewarded” with a long, slow titfuck animation while a smug joker card sat in the corner of the screen like it was judging me, is burned into my memory for no good reason. I still hate that the sound effects on one of the blowjob scenes is slightly out of sync with the animation and it distracts me every single time, and they will absolutely never fix it, but whatever. This whole thing feels like a dirty holiday party where the lights are too bright, the music is a bit off, everyone is half naked, and you keep telling yourself you will leave after one last round, then you draw another hand and forget what you were about to do.

You wake up in a world that finally stopped killing itself with wars, and somehow it feels even weirder. No epic quest, no demon lord to stab, just this quiet, awkward peace and a hometown where people are falling into this slow, horny coma called Blissful Sleep. They look peaceful, but something is very wrong, and of course your own sister is hit by it, so you drag your ass back home. Daytime is all about pretending to be a normal adventurer who totally doesn’t get turned on by half the people in town. You plan routes, buy gear, manage your team like some horny version of a strategy RPG, but every little choice is secretly about who you want closer, who you tease, who you push into your orbit. There’s a priestess who talks about purity and then accidentally brushes your thigh a bit too long, a strict milf who pretends she’s only here to keep order but blushes like crazy when you actually flirt, and a monster girl with way too many sharp teeth who still somehow feels like the safest one to fall asleep next to. Text boxes look harmless until suddenly someone is on their knees and you’re trying to pretend you didn’t just click through a blowjob scene in two seconds by mistake because your hand slipped.

Night comes and the real shit starts. You drop into the dream world, and that place doesn’t care about your morals at all. It’s turn based, it’s dice, it’s numbers on the screen, but the fights feel dirty in a good way. Succubi taunt you mid combat, offering buffs if you “relax your guard” and let them sit on your face between turns. There’s this futa knight who shows up like some recurring miniboss, towering over you, cock already half hard, offering you a “truce” where she pins you down and uses your body as tribute. Lose to her too many times and you kinda stop being sure who’s dominating who, because yeah she’s the one fucking you, but you’re the one choosing to lean into it every time. The game lets you tongue-first your way through monster girls, slide into warm dream pussies, fill them until their bellies twitch, then throws you back into the daytime like nothing happened. Religion shows up twisted inside the dreams, holy symbols glowing while a pious girl wraps her tits around your shaft, whispering prayers while she milks you for another creampie in the name of “salvation”. You’re supposed to be solving the curse, finding the core of the Blissful Sleep, but some runs you just wander from event to event, pushing lust values, half-accidentally turning a kind woman into someone who begs strangers for cock in her dreams because you kept choosing the slightly more pervy option whenever it popped up. And somewhere in there, between a teasing handjob in the camp tent and a brutal futa-on-hero pegging session after a bad roll, you realize you’re not just exploring the dream world. It’s exploring you back.

You start as this young sultan who basically inherited a messy empire, a half-empty harem and a bunch of advisors who care more about their own pockets than your crown. The game doesn’t treat you like some all-powerful god from the first minute, more like a horny newbie with a very big title and not enough experience. You’re juggling money, politics, and a growing collection of very different girls and boys, all with their own hang-ups and kinks. One moment you’re trying to keep the janissaries from revolting, the next you’re deciding if the new redhead slave gets trained as a personal toy or sent to charm some foreign ambassador. That kind of “ok I just wanted to see titties, why am I making trade deals now” feeling is pretty much the core vibe here. The management part sneaks up on you: taxes, buildings, intrigue, and then suddenly you’re halfway through min-maxing your silk routes just to afford another exotic dancer with a ridiculous ass.

The harem stuff isn’t just “collect girl, fuck girl, forget girl”. Some of them fall in love, some just want to serve, some definitely want to own you back. You can be very soft, boyfriend-style romantic with one wife, giving her slow oral in a candlelit bath while she moans and tells you about her fears, and five minutes later you’re in the training room with the leather toys on the wall, collaring a mouthy slave and using her throat like it’s your property. There’s a nice contrast between those quiet bedroom scenes and the louder group events, like that first time you organize a private orgy to celebrate winning a war: half the harem piled on silk cushions, girls sharing your cock, a nobleman watching while his “gift” gets taken from behind right in front of him. Some scenes go into gay content too, which actually fits the court vibe: a loyal guard kneeling, kissing your ring, then your shaft, clearly torn between worship and lust while you decide if he gets promoted or just fucked. There’s cheating drama baked in as well; you can promise one beloved concubine to be “only hers”, then sneak off to have anal fun with the new dancer in the baths, hoping the little spying eunuch doesn’t talk. And of course he talks.

Sex isn’t just a menu choice here; your political choices change who you can touch and how. You want that proud noblewoman with the big tits who keeps insulting you in council? Maybe you crush her family in a tax scandal and she ends up in chains in your private chambers, glaring at you while you finger her wet pussy and tell her exactly what her new job is. Or you go the other way and actually woo her, give her power, and she climbs into your lap by her own will, riding you slow while whispering court secrets. The sandbox structure means you keep stumbling into weird stuff: a lesbian scene where two of your favorites start “training” each other without your order, one licking the other’s ass while they talk shit about your fashion sense; a sudden option to lend a slave to a visiting prince for a night and later decide if you punish her for “enjoying it too much”. A lot of the fun is in those small moments: trying to keep track of who you promised anal to, or realizing that the quiet bookish girl you kept ignoring now runs half your palace because you focused too much on the big tits. It’s messy, horny, and kind of mean sometimes, like real court gossip mixed with porn, and the game doesn’t really care if you try to be a good guy or the kind of sultan who uses every mouth and hole in the building just because he can.

You start as this broke student drowning in debt, already kinda fucked by life before any actual fucking happens. Then this smug, gorgeous succubus basically walks into your shitty situation and goes “yeah, you’re a mess, but I can use that.” She throws you into this weird gig where your job is to sexfight girls from other worlds. Not “flirt then fade to black”, I mean full-on, turn based fights where every move is some horny bullshit. Strip her, grope her, tease her, get her horny enough that she can’t think straight, while she’s doing the exact same thing to you. If she makes you cum first, you’re done, and sometimes it really feels unfair because you’re there planning tactics and she just grabs your dick at the perfect moment and your whole “strategy” dies instantly.

The main loop is kinda evil in a fun way. You’re juggling money, training, and your stamina like some degenerate version of a mobile game. One moment you’re in a fight trying to decide if you focus her nipples or her thighs to break her composure, next you’re in her world visiting her on a casual date that starts normal and ends with her grinding on your lap in some alley. Fights are turn based, but they feel more like dirty chess, where every piece is either a mouth, a hand, or someone’s dripping crotch. You pick moves that focus different weak spots, stack arousal, push them closer to orgasm, all while watching your own bar go up and thinking “shit, I can’t take one more blowjob move or I lose everything.” I legit had one match where I was one turn away from victory, went greedy with a deep thrust option, she reversed, pinned me, and milked me with this slow oral scene that made me actually pause my Chrome tab because it was way hotter than I was ready for.

Each girl’s world is what hooked me more than I expected. You’re not just grinding them like generic NPCs; you go to their places, do small activities, and it weirdly turns into a messed up dating sim. One monster girl wants you to help with some “ritual” that’s pretty much an excuse to tie you up and ride you stupid. Another looks all tough in combat, then you hang out with her and realize she blushes the second you kiss her neck, and next fight she suddenly has new moves that are basically her trying to get you to breed her on the arena floor. There’s futa content thrown in, sometimes out of nowhere, like you’re expecting soft petting and then her cock is brushing against your lips while she pretends it’s no big deal. The art is simple but horny as fuck, especially when you finally strip them completely and the CG changes with their pose, drool, wetness, that kind of detail. It’s not all vanilla either: anal, oral, grinding, being overpowered by a monster girl who pins your arms, making a whole harem of different races who all want a piece of you, it adds up. And in the middle of all that, the game quietly reminds you there’s something darker going on with the succubus and the “contract” you signed, like your life actually depends on how well you make these girls cum, which is honestly the dumbest and also hot idea I’ve seen in a while.

What is Project Exilium – Breeding Protocol? Project Exilium – Breeding Protocol combines turn-based combat with mature themes set in a hostile extraterrestrial system. Who do you play as in this game? Your avatar is a male protagonist battling both physical threats and escalating lust in a strange star system. Why should someone try this game over others? The game’s dynamic card system lets you customize your approach, blending tactical combat with intense adult scenarios. Ready to command your fate in a universe where lust and danger intertwine?