Three words first: horny, awkward, fun.

The game feels like someone mashed together a dating sim, a quarantine sharehouse and those trashy hentai manhwas you read on the toilet, then said “ok, now make it about pickup lines and see how long the guy can pretend he’s faithful.” You play this dude stuck with a bunch of hot girls who all know exactly what they’re doing with their bodies, while he’s trying so hard to act like some “good boyfriend” scientist, like he’s doing research on female pleasure instead of just staring at their tits. The whole thing is basically one long speed-dating session where you never leave the table, except the table has a big ass milf leaning over it and a bratty school girl pressing her thigh against your leg while she laughs at your shitty flirty lines. The pickup system is where it’s funniest and most frustrating. Sometimes one dumb line like “your laugh is cute” suddenly turns into her grabbing your wrist, placing your hand on her thigh and whispering in your ear while you’re hard and sweating. Other times you try to be smooth, stack teasing options, and she just looks at you like you’re a pervert who can’t even spell “consent”, then still ends up jerking you off five clicks later after some fake moral struggle. It reminds me of using Tinder then accidentally opening Hinge on horny mode.

There’s a lot of sandbox wandering where you’re just checking rooms, poking your nose where it doesn’t belong, “observing” them like some half-assed psychologist. You talk about relationships, then suddenly her cleavage is right in your face, animated and jiggly, and the voice acting goes from casual to this breathy “do you like that?” that sounds way too real for a mobile game. One moment you’re in a school-ish setting, pretending to learn how to “communicate better with women”, next moment she’s on her knees, drool on your shaft, giving this sloppy oral that makes you forget which dialogue choice even got you here. There’s titfucks that feel like a reward for picking the more playful options, and if you push a bit further and pick the more dominant answers, some scenes flip on you and the girl starts controlling everything, pinning you down, hand around your dick, strokes just slow enough to drive you insane while she talks about her boyfriend like you’re just a practice toy. The anal and more rough stuff doesn’t explode in your face right away, it creeps in through dirty jokes and “accidental” touches, and when it finally happens the game kind of shrugs like “yeah, you knew this was coming.” Speaking of coming, masturbation scenes feel personal, like when you fail a pickup line and the MC ends alone, jerking off on his phone while remembering how her ass looked pressed against his crotch earlier, with her voice echoing in his head. That part hit a bit too close to my Pornhub history, not gonna lie. There are a few moments where the pacing dies, you’re stuck clicking through teasing without payoff, like you’re in an endless edging loop designed by a sadist, and there’s one notification sound that kept popping up on my phone and I hated it, never turned it off, no idea why. Still, when a milf with big tits, soft voice and that smug “I know you’re hard” grin orders you to sit, unzip and let her “teach” you how to please a woman with your hands while she rides your fingers and strokes you at the same time, all that slow grind suddenly makes sense, then stops making sense again right after you cum and start overthinking your next line.

Tali is absolutely not the shy little quarian tech nerd people remember from the original games. Here she’s more like the center of a very rude quiz show where every question is “How far are you willing to go this time?” and the answer keeps getting filthier. The story picks up after she escapes this messed up ghost ship, and instead of going back to anything safe, she ends up bouncing around space with a bunch of “friends” who have very specific ideas about what to do with her suit, her body, and her obedience. One moment you’re in a legit combat scene, trying to manage shields and positioning, and the next moment losing a fight means Tali is on her knees, visor fogged, being used like a trophy by whatever monster just wrecked you. And yeah, the camera really loves her ass. Whoever built those shots deserves an award. Maybe “Excessive Focus On Tali’s Butt” gold medal.

The game kind of feels like a horny Mass Effect quiz where every choice is secretly: a) blowjob, b) anal, c) corruption, d) all of the above. You run around in this sandbox structure, poke different parts of the ship or station, and suddenly you’re in some awkward scene with Liara teasing her while EDI throws dry comments in the background like she’s hosting a porn podcast. One of my favorite dumb moments: I was half-tabbing out to check Discord, left a teasing scene running with Tali “practicing” oral on some alien cock, came back and she had switched positions and was riding instead because I let the idle animation chain continue. No tooltip, no pop up, just “you ignored the scene, now she’s even more corrupted, congrats.” It’s janky in spots, the animations sometimes loop too obviously, and Kasumi just kind of appears, steals the spotlight with a handjob scene, then vanishes again like a horny ninja. Never explained properly, and the game just shrugs and moves on.

What’s nice is how it leans fully into parody without being shy about anything. Miranda’s big tits are used exactly how you think, Ashley is still an uptight soldier but now her idea of discipline is getting Tali to “follow orders” with vaginal and anal rewards, and somewhere in the middle Shepard is there, but half of the time feels like a side character in his own porn. The corruption aspect creeps up on you in a stupidly fun way: early Tali is awkward, blushing, touching herself alone in a quiet room, just masturbation and a bit of teasing. A few bad fights lost, some “training” with Shiala and Samara, one very wrong encounter with a slime-like monster, and suddenly she’s the one grabbing cocks first, begging for more, suit open in places you’re pretty sure are not Alliance regulation. It’s dirty, it’s uneven, it repeats a couple of angles too much, and the UI sometimes hides a choice you swear should be there. But when she bends over in zero-g and the whole scene turns into this slow, weightless anal fuck with her gasping inside the helmet, you kind of forget what you were annoyed about. Or what you were doing before the scene started. Or why Jira is still open in another tab.

Memory hits you like a drunk kiss: messy, off-target, and a little too slow. You wake up in some rich-looking place that obviously isn’t yours, and your brain is basically an empty save slot. No name, no past, nothing. What you do have is a body that works just fine and a house full of women who look like they walked out of the “forbidden” tab in your Pornhub history. They act like they know you. Or like they’re supposed to know you. That weird tension is the best part: everyone fakes normal life, but every glance hangs one second too long, every “accidental” touch lasts a bit more than polite. You’re the only guy in the house, and the game never lets you forget that. Walking through the hallway feels like scrolling a sex playlist. The “mom, but maybe not really mom, calm down, it’s a porn game” type with a ridiculous ass bent over the washing machine, the soft-spoken one sitting on the couch with her tits half-slipping out of her top, the one who pretends she’s not checking you out while you pass behind her. It all looks too clean, too posed, like those 3D porn renders you hide behind boring folder names, and the game leans into that. Every scene is like you just paused a premium video at the best moment and then someone told you, “Ok, now unpause and go touch her.”

What I liked is that the seduction is actually slow when it wants to be, then suddenly horny as fuck. You sit at the table, she passes you a drink, her fingers brush your hand, and the camera kind of lingers on her chest when she leans in. Later you’re in her room, “helping” her find something on the floor, your hand ends up on her hip, then a little lower, and she doesn’t pull away. Next thing you know, her ass is pressed into your crotch and you get that choice: be a fake gentleman or push it. Pick the fun option and the game rewards you with those porn-mag angles: your hand under her shirt, thumb grazing her nipple, that slow squeeze while she pretends to protest but her breathing gives her away. They really like teasing here. Like, there’s a scene where you can just stand in the doorway and watch her shower through the slightly open door. The steam, her fingers between her legs, the water sliding over her huge tits, and you’re there like a creep, jerking off quietly with your phone screen lighting your face like some cursed incognito tab. The game actually sold me on the handjob scene more than on some of the full sex stuff: her on her knees, close-up on her lips while she whispers shit she definitely shouldn’t say to a guy who might be related, her hand wrapped around you, playing with the tip, smearing precum with this lazy, confident movement that says she’s done this before. Oral and anal show up too, obviously, and there’s this one anal moment where she tries to pretend it hurts “too much” while still pushing back on you, and the look on her face is that perfect mix of “you’re too big” and “don’t you dare stop.” There are creampies that land exactly where they should, dripping out in these thick strings, and the romance angle kind of sneaks in, because between all the filthy shit she sometimes looks at you like she actually cares who you are, not just what you can do with your tongue. It’s trashy, it’s horny, it’s a little bit wrong on purpose, and it knows exactly which sick little fantasies live on your phone.

You open your eyes in some fancy place and your brain is just... blank. No name, no past, nothing. But there are these women around you, all curves and soft skin and tight clothes, like someone built a harem out of your search history and forgot to tell HR. They treat you like you belong there, like you’re important, but you can feel that something’s off. They hug a bit too long, sit a bit too close, bend over in front of you for no reason. At first it looks like normal “family” concern, but then your “aunt” presses her huge tits on your arm while asking if you feel safe, and safe is really not the word that comes into mind. It feels more like your dick is about to make decisions your memory can’t keep up with.

What I like is how slow they push the incest vibe. It’s not just instant “hey son, suck my tits”. You’re watching from the couch, TV on mute, and this woman you’re supposed to be related to walks past in a tiny towel, drops something on purpose, bends down way too slow so you get full view of her big ass, and then she pretends she “didn’t notice you there”. Sure. Ten minutes later she’s in the kitchen, pressing that same ass against you while she reaches for a glass, and the game just lets you stand there, your cursor flicking helplessly between dialog options, trying to decide if you’re a pervert or just going with the flow. And you always go with the flow. Then there’s that scene where you wake up with morning wood, and the younger one barges into your room “by accident”, sits on the bed, and starts poking the tent in your sheets, laughing and calling it cute. You can choose to pull away, but once she wraps her fingers around it and starts a slow handjob under the blanket while looking at the door like someone might walk in, it’s over. She’s not even pretending anymore, and you aren’t either. The voyeur thing gets kind of twisted too: you get this mobile in-game, and soon you’re hiding behind doors, spying on them masturbating in the shower, zooming in on big tits pressed against foggy glass, watching fingers slide between wet thighs. At one point you’re literally jerking off in the hallway while your “mom” moans on the other side, and the game lets you either finish on the wall or sneak in and risk getting caught with your cock still wet.

The romance bullshit sneaks up on you in between all the groping and anal hints. Like you’re sitting on a balcony with the oldest one, drinking something that is absolutely not juice, and she opens up about how scared she was when you “disappeared” from your old life that you can’t remember. For a second it hits kind of hard. She leans over, eyes a bit teary, and kisses you soft, just lips, no tongue, and it feels like an actual moment. Then your hand slides under her top, you feel how huge and warm her breasts are, and before you know it she’s kneeling between your legs, lipstick smeared, giving deep sloppy oral, drool running down her chin while she stares up like she’s been waiting years for this. When she takes you all the way to the back of her throat and you cum inside her mouth, the game lets you decide if she swallows or pulls away to let it drip on those big tits. Later you slam her against the counter, pull her panties aside and fuck her raw, her ass bouncing with every thrust until you pump a creampie into her and she just keeps grinding to squeeze out every drop. There’s also this anal scene that comes out of nowhere: you’re “helping” one of them with yoga, hands on her hips, stretching, and then she asks if you’ve ever tried something “a bit tighter”. Next thing you know, lube, slow push, her gasping and clenching around you while she begs you not to stop. It’s filthy, kind of sweet, and a total mess. I wish the interface wasn’t so clunky sometimes, like the tap zones on mobile feel weirdly placed and one button sits just a little too close to where you try to scroll, and it pissed me off once and I still keep thinking about it. But anyway, the whole thing feels like someone mixed a soft romance VN with raw porn and then forgot which one they were making halfway through.