Feels weird to call Parasite Black a “game” when half the time it feels more like some horny, cursed holiday special I accidentally made into a tradition. I’m doing this goofy calendar-board thing on my stream where each day gets a theme, and this one ended up in the “Evil Santa’s Mistake” slot. Fits too well. You’re this poor bastard who survives a suicide mission and comes back with something inside you that really shouldn’t be there, and from that point on Mirnos basically turns into one huge “how ruined can this guy’s body and morals get” experiment. One second you’re plotting turn order in combat, next second you’re watching a milf sorceress ride you while her lactation literally stains the screen and you forget there was a fight at all. Not even joking, I missed a button prompt because I got distracted by jiggle physics and a smug dialogue line about “needing to relieve the pressure.”

What I liked is how filthy moments sneak in sideways. You open the map thinking “ok, sandbox, explore a bit, maybe loot,” and then some corrupted nun-type offers “blessings” that are basically: blow the holy guy, get tentacle’d behind the altar, then end up in a threesome where you kind of lose track who has a dick and who has a spell. There’s futa in there, but it isn’t thrown at you like a big neon sign. It just shows up in the middle of a foursome and you go “oh, ok, that’s happening now,” and it works. Same with the voyeur stuff: I was just checking a room for loot and accidentally triggered a scene where an older queen-ish gilf is getting railed by her guard, and the game straight up asks if I want to watch or join. Picked watch first, because of course I did. Regretted and didn’t regret at the same time. And the pregnancy angle sneaks up too: after enough raw fucking, some characters start talking about “consequences” and suddenly the netori scene you thought was just you banging a guy’s wife has real fallout showing up later in dialogue. That part actually stung more than I expected.

Combat is turn based but not sleepy. You actually think about who to target, where to burn skills, and there’s this fun tension because you know if you win there’s a decent chance the reward is someone stripping, someone getting their ass used, or some monster using your new “gift” in ways that are definitely not approved by any fantasy church. Sometimes fights drag a bit and I just wanted to skip to the anal or the harem event I knew was sitting behind it, especially when some early mobs feel like HP sponges. And yeah, a few routes are more polished than others. You notice it when one milf gets a full animated riding scene with different speed cycles, but the random village girl just gets a quick blowjob loop and a line that reads like a first draft. Didn’t stop me from reloading to see if I could corrupt her more though. Playing on phone is way too easy, by the way. I was on a fake “bathroom break” at work, thumb-tapping through strategy choices and then suddenly there’s this animated tentacle thing spreading a knight’s ass, and I’m speed-hitting the screen like I’m messaging on Telegram so no one walking by hears the audio. Audio that is a bit uneven, by the way, like moans are hot but some lines feel like they were recorded with different mics. Still, when you end up in a harem pile with a big-tits demon, a pregnant ex-priestess and a snarky futa elf arguing over who gets your cock first while the world is literally being eaten around you, you kind of forget to be picky. I just wish the calendar had a “too horny to function” day, because that’s where this thing belongs.

This thing feels like someone grabbed your Steam library while drunk, smashed it together with Pornhub search history and then just said “yeah, that’s a universe now”. You start as this regular dude who absolutely should not be trusted with a portal-hopping device, and suddenly you are peeking into all these twisted versions of familiar worlds. One minute you are watching a redhead archer who is very obviously not Aloy grind her hips on some ancient machine while you are crouched in the bushes like a horny raccoon, next moment you jump to a rainy hellhole that smells like Silent Hill and Resident Evil had a baby, and Lady D is sitting on a throne with her thighs open, lazy as fuck, letting you worship her feet before she even looks at your face. The game does not even pretend to be subtle. It is like “here, you wanted Ellie with a knife and a dirty mouth, and you wanted to see if she kisses girls as aggressively as she stabs clickers? Cool, have a scene where she is shoving some punk girl against a wall, french kissing her while you watch from a half-broken window, hand in your pants, too scared to breathe because she almost catches you.”

The fun is how the game keeps throwing fanservice you did not know you wanted. Jinx is here, of course she is, wired on some shimmer knockoff, riding a dildo fixed to an old Zaun pipe and laughing like a maniac while you sneak under the catwalk to get a better angle on her dripping pussy. There is this whole cyberpunk city shard where Judy and Panam and Meredith all exist at the same time, like some weird mod that never got patched, and you get dragged into this fucked up NTR setup where your character gets to spy on Panam cheating on you with a chrome dom guy while Judy is under the table, licking Panam’s clit like it is some religious duty. You can join in, or you can just sit there and be a cuck voyeur, watching her swallow his dick on her knees while Panam moans your name by accident. The writing goes from funny to cruel in half a scene, like there is a Mass Effect corner where Miranda is using you like a toy, guiding your tongue over her ass, forcing you to rim her in an elevator, and then on the next jump you land in a cold Metro tunnel where Snezhana is giving some dirty, fast blowjob to survive and you kind of feel bad about how turned on you are.

Not everything hits right. There is a Game of Thrones cluster with Sansa, Arya, Cersei and Margaery, and it almost feels like the dev just dumped all their incest porn folder there and called it a day. One scene has Cersei sitting on the edge of a bed, her foot pressed on your chest, making you lick between her toes while she makes Sansa kneel and eat her out from behind, slow and obedient, like a trained dog, and it is hot, but then it cuts away way too soon and suddenly you are in some Tomb Raider ruin watching Lara and Kassandra compete who can make you cum faster with their mouth, and you never get closure on that foot thing. Same with Baldur’s Gate girls, like Shadowheart and Lae’zel and that green disaster Lae’zel’s friend whose name I always forget. One moment you are buried between Shadowheart’s thighs, tongue deep in her pussy, her hand on your hair pushing you to lick her ass too, soft little whines in your ear, and then the game just shoves you through another portal into some cursed TV zone that is basically The Ring with tits. Still, every now and then it nails that perfect mix of naughty fanfic and actual kink. Liara and Miranda double-teaming you, one riding your face while the other rides your cock, your hand tangled in blue skin and black hair, your vision all sweat and pussy. Lizzy Wizzy doing this weird chrome striptease before letting you jerk off on her feet. A lesbian alley scene with Zoe and Clementine lookalikes where they think no one sees them, kissing, giggling, fingers slipping into panties while rain hits the trash cans around them. Some parts feel rushed, some parts feel like the dev had one hand on the keyboard and one on their dick, but there is this stupid charm in how messy and raw it all is, like a huge crossover fanfic that forgot to be safe for work and never tried to fix itself.

Everything in this game starts with that awkward feeling of coming back to a place that’s supposed to be “home” but actually feels like a porn parody of your own memories. You’re this guy who returns to his old city for college, carrying some emotional baggage, a phone that never stops buzzing, and a dick that gets him in trouble every ten minutes. It pretends to be a normal school slice-of-life at first, like “oh, classes, dorms, new people”, then suddenly you’re in a party bathroom getting a messy drunk blowjob from someone whose name you don’t even remember, while your in-game notifications keep reminding you you’ve got an exam tomorrow. There’s this really specific vibe: half coming-of-age, half “how fast can I ruin this dude’s life with bad choices and hot people”. And honestly, it works. Mostly.

The game lets you wander around the campus and the city, so you bump into scenes instead of having them thrown in your face in a straight line. One time I just went to the gym because I was bored and somehow ended up peeking through a tiny window into the staff shower, watching a thick Black PE teacher wash off after practice, her ass taking up half the screen while the protagonist slowly strokes himself. That voyeur stuff is handled in a really messy, human way. He feels like a perv, not a hero, and it’s kind of hot and kind of gross at the same time. Then later, if you actually talk to her and don’t act like a total creep, there’s this whole slow-burn thing where she teases him in class, does the “lean on your desk so her tits are in your face” routine, and eventually you end up railroading her in the equipment closet, switching between titjob and deepthroat while she keeps calling you “kid” like that is not making it hotter. The animation is unpolished, some loops are clumsy, but the body language sells the scene better than a lot of big-budget stuff. Faces actually show embarrassment, annoyance, or that “okay, fine, I want this too” kind of look. Then in the very next scene, the MC has this overconfident smirk that made me want to slap him. I liked him and hated him in the same click.

What’s very queer in spirit, even if the content is straight-focused, is how the game doesn’t pretend sex exists in a bubble. You’re not just picking “blowjob” from a menu. You text girls on your phone, get weird drunk voice notes, and watch them shitpost memes on their in-game social app. There’s this one storyline with a mixed-race classmate who deals weed on the side to pay rent. You can either be judgy or join her little side hustle. I went full disaster and helped her. There’s a scene in her cramped room where you’re both high, music from her shitty Bluetooth speaker buzzing, and the conversation just slides from “what are you running from” into her sitting on your face. It’s not some perfect porn angle; her thighs cover half the screen, her belly jiggles a bit, and the camera awkwardly moves when she grinds too hard. Then she pulls off your pants and lazily strokes you, gives you this sloppy half-committed blowjob, almost like she’s testing how much you can take. If you push your luck, she just climbs on and rides you raw while laughing about how terrible your pull-out reflex is. The creampie is framed as both hot and kinda stupid, and the next morning she’s texting about Plan B and money while you’re still replaying the way she shivered when you came inside her. Romance and drama get tangled with all the dirt: arguments in the cafeteria, jealous looks in the hallway, a “friendly” handjob under the table that clearly isn’t just friendly. Sometimes the combat bits feel random, like “oh, now we’re suddenly punching some asshole at a club”, but the bruise on your face shows up in the next scene where some girl licks your busted lip before going down on you, so at least the game remembers. I just wish the bathroom doors didn’t all open the same way; it bothered me for no reason, and now it lives rent free in my brain. Anyway. The whole thing feels unstable, horny, queer in its messiness, and a little too honest about how sex, drugs, and bad choices mix together when you’re pretending to be an adult.

Game throws you in as this washed-up teacher who clearly should not be allowed near a classroom, and somehow he gets hired again, but only because the academy is freaking broke and needs to squeeze cash out of its spoiled rich girl students. Whole thing is this mix of fake “education” on the surface and degenerate hostess club corruption under it, and it actually works way too well. One minute you are checking grades and pretending to improve their math, next moment you are checking how much they made last night grinding in the club, drunk businessmen tipping them just to watch them bend over. It feels like a school sim that forgot about morality completely and then doubled down on it. The girls start all snobby and useless, all attitude and zero skills, then slowly you push them into working nights, shorter skirts, higher heels, “private” clients. You say it is for the school budget. Sure. I believed that for like five seconds.

What I really liked is how the corruption is snuck in under the usual mobile game routine. You open the game on the bus or on toilet, click around a bit: schedule classes, assign a girl to the VIP room, check club income, reply to a few in-game texts, pretend you are just doing management stuff. Then you suddenly unlock a “special lesson” and now she is choking on your cock in the teachers’ lounge after class, drool everywhere, and the game treats it like some pop-up reward. It feels wrong in this very deliberate way. There is this moment when one of the girls comes to your office pissed because her family found out she is working at night, and you can either comfort her or basically gaslight her into thinking it is hot and empowering to flash her tits for champagne money. I chose the second, obviously. Later she is in the club room, letting some random guy grope her under the table while you watch like some proud coach, and the game just quietly tracks “corruption” like this is a normal stat. No big fanfare, just another bar going up. People complain about grind, but honestly I found myself tapping through the day cycles on my phone half-distracted, then a new scene hits where a girl who was super shy before is now riding you raw in a classroom after school, creampie dripping down her thighs while she talks about exam scores, and suddenly you are very awake again.

The best part is how the girls mix humiliation, money and sex. There is this one where you force a virgin honor student to work her first hostess shift, she is shaking while trying to pour drinks, and the old dude keeps “accidentally” brushing his hand over her ass. You can either pull her out or pretend not to see. If you leave her, next time she is in your office, red face, stammering that she had to give a handjob in the back room so the client would not complain, and she is both ashamed and kind of turned on. She asks you if she did well, like you are some fucked up teacher giving grades on perversion. And the game gives you this choice: pat her head and tell her she is a good little slut, or act “professional” and talk about customer satisfaction. I hate how much I laughed at that. The 3D girls look good when they strip down on stage too, especially when you make them perform for practically empty room just so you can watch from the shadows. But then there is stupid tiny stuff, like the UI buttons being in weird places or the text box covering the tits during key scenes, that annoyed the hell out of me and I kept thinking they would fix it and they just… did not. Also the netorare angle kind of creeps in sideways: you train them, get close, then you send them to wealthy pigs and slowly their messages shift from “teacher, I am scared” to “he paid extra to fuck me bare, isn’t that good for the school?” and you are there, staring at your phone, half hard, half pissed, and still pressing next. Anyway, the game feels trashy, horny, mean and weirdly chill at the same time, like something you open for “just one more day cycle” and then suddenly you are arranging which student will suck cock in the bathroom stall to cover the electricity bill.