This thing feels like someone ripped open the horny part of a Wii-era kid brain and just poured it straight into a browser window. No story, no "context", just that raw, silly, kind of guilty fantasy of Nintendo icons getting railed, and the game doesn’t pretend to be anything else. You load it up, and bam: there’s Samus, there’s Peach, Daisy, Shantae, a random blonde or two with ridiculous boobs and a cock that looks like it escaped from a hentai lab. It’s like that moment when you’re scrolling through Pixiv on your phone in the bathroom and suddenly all your search history stands in front of you and says: "Pick one." There’s no menu fluff, no lore, no foreplay. You just poke around with number keys and arrows like you’re trying secret cheats, and every wrong press turns out to be another sex pose. Honestly I kinda liked that, it feels a bit like button-mashing in Smash, but instead of a combo you accidentally trigger Peach choking on a monster dick from a POV angle that’s so close it feels like she’s breathing into your face.

The camera is always hungry. POV in this thing doesn’t try to be realistic, it’s more like a porn director glued to the crotch. You hop to Samus and the first thought is "oh, they really didn’t care about canon armor sizes, huh." Her tits are huge, shiny, fake in a very porn-y way, and that’s exactly why it works. Then you click around a bit and suddenly you’re behind her, watching that big cock slam into her ass while her ponytail swings like it’s got its own physics engine, and the only thing going through your head is: "Nintendo would set this on fire." Same with Shantae, they went full curvy idol with her, hips like she’s smuggling pillows, bouncing in a rhythm that doesn’t quite match the thrusts but somehow that off-beat wobble is the hottest part. It’s messy, like an amateur remix on SoundCloud where some guy looped a moan and forgot to line up the tempo, yet that weirdness makes it feel more alive. You know how in Pornhub comments people complain about stupid shit like "the bed squeak killed my vibe"? Here I had the opposite thing: one tiny clipping issue with a cock going through Peach’s thigh and I couldn’t stop watching it, like my brain turned it into some mutant kink. You’re cycling poses, sometimes they repeat, sometimes they’re almost the same angle but with a little extra bounce or a different way the boobs slump, and you get this cheap, trashy variety that’s weirdly addictive. It’s not polished, half of it feels tossed together, some transitions are awkward as fuck, but the whole time you’re basically doing what everyone secretly wants from a crossover anyway: swap between princesses, stare at their ridiculous curves, and keep pressing keys until you land on the exact frame where that oversized cock hits just right and your brain shuts up.