Lewd Piece feels like someone smashed a horny fanfic archive, a janky phone RPG, and a cosplay convention together, then sprinkled it with just enough pirate logic to pretend it all makes sense. You are “captain” in the same way Odysseus was a loyal husband: technically true, but every scene is trying to seduce you away from whatever moral compass you had. One moment you’re choosing skills like you’re in some budget Persona menu, the next moment you’re staring at Nami’s tits squeezed into a maid uniform, offering to “help with inventory” while clearly meaning your dick. The game leans hard into that trainer fantasy: you’re not just managing a ship, you’re adjusting how obedient, perverted, jealous, or teasing your crew becomes, like a horny social link chart. I had this moment with Robin where I picked a dialogue option that looked harmless, just some smart-ass joke about ancient stones, and suddenly she’s pressing her big ass into my lap in the cabin, asking if you “need a practical demonstration about friction.” The writing is not subtle. It doesn’t want to be. It has the same energy as those old hentai OVAs where they pretend to care about plot for 20 seconds, then cut to a titfuck in the engine room.

What really killed me is how the game pretends to be about treasure, but the only treasure that matters is which scene you unlock next. You get these little sandbox vibes on mobile: hopping between locations, hitting the maid cafe “disguise” event, messing with your pirate harem schedule like you’re running a very horny calendar app instead of a ship. There is combat, turn based stuff, but half of the time I’m just clicking through because I know the real prize is when Boa Hancock shows up later with a “training session” that is literally her in maid cosplay riding you and calling it a lesson in loyalty. The sci fi twist with sex robots sneaks in like a shitpost someone forgot to delete: one second it’s pirate romance, next second you’re in a hidden lab deciding breast size in a character creation menu for a robot maid who calls you “captain” while giving a handjob, eyes rolling into full ahegao. It should feel totally wrong, but in erotic games logic this is exactly right. The cheating stuff is there too, quiet but sharp: you’re promising romance to one girl, then sneaking oral sex from another behind a door while your crew walks outside. The game even leans into voyeurism with scenes where you “accidentally” spy on Nami sucking someone off in a corridor, only for the script to twist it and put you in that place next time. It’s parody, sure, of One Piece and of dating sims and of all those grand adventure stories, but it’s also very clear what the real adventure is: every choice slowly shaping a crew that exists to tease you, fuck you, and trap you in a lewd little management loop where the biggest boss fight is trying not to open the gallery again.

You start as this smug bastard who already turned Tsunade into his personal toy some years ago, and the game just treats that like normal Tuesday. No big drama, just “yeah, she’s mine now, what’s next.” That already tells you the tone. You’re not here to be a hero. You’re basically weaponizing mind control to build your own village with a harem of kunoichi from everywhere, and the story is very honest about it. The vibe is closer to some fucked-up fan doujin than a “proper” visual novel, which I liked way more than I should. It looks simple at first, just text and 2D scenes, but the scenes are animated enough that when Hinata drops to her knees and you order her to “prove loyalty with her mouth,” it actually hits. There’s this one early scene where you test your improved technique on Kurenai, and you see that moment her eyes glaze over, her whole serious-jonin act just melts, and you can push her from “I’ll never obey you” to “should I use my tits or my tongue first, Master?” with like two choices. It’s wrong, it’s hot, and then it’s somehow even more wrong.

The funny thing is, the corruption is not even subtle. You charm, you push, then you flip the mental switch and suddenly someone like Temari, who normally would snap your neck, is awkwardly trying to give you a footjob because you told her this is “Sand Village protocol.” She complains, you tease, a bit of groping, and then the animation kicks in and she’s rubbing your dick with her toes while her face is this perfect mix of pissed and turned on. I kinda loved that. And then I hated how sometimes the pacing just dies between scenes for no reason. You get a brutal gangbang-style group sex setup with Mei and Samui on their knees, Tsunade in the back stroking you with her tits, creampie after creampie, and then the next bit of story is just walls of text about politics, like I didn’t just watch the Mizukage drooling on a cock that is technically controlling her brain. The game likes to drop you from intense anal with Ino straight into talky exposition about “support from other villages” and I kept wanting to yell at my phone. Yes, I’m on a bus, yes, I’m reading about Sakura getting her virginity stolen in a storage room behind Ichiraku, I have no shame, but at least keep the horny flow going, you know?

What I keep coming back to is how it handles power. It’s not romantic at all. You’re the guy who already broke Tsunade and now treats her like living proof that your technique works. At one point you use her as a demonstration, ordering her to lick Ayame clean after you finish inside her, like you’re showing off a trained pet. It’s fucked, but the game doesn’t pretend otherwise. The male domination is heavy, there’s BDSM flavor, and the harem thing isn’t some fluffy family vibe, it’s more like “these girls belong to my new village, and by village I mean my dick.” One moment you’re forcing Karin to ride you until she passes out, the next you’re making Hinata and Tenten play with toys on each other while you sit back and decide who gets your cum. Lesbian scenes feel like you’re watching puppets you pulled strings on, especially with the mind control touches, and I mean that as praise and also as a bit of a “Jesus Christ, dude.” There’s a corruption route where a girl who starts shy and stubborn ends up begging for anal, asking you to mark her womb, and you realize the game quietly shifted from teasing handjobs to full-on harem breeding fantasy. It pretends to be “just” a parody, but after a while, you’re in too deep to call it that with a straight face.

Phoenix is supposed to be solving crimes, but in this thing he’s basically solving who gets to fuck who first. It still looks like an Ace Attorney game at a glance, with the courtroom flow and the stupidly dramatic zooms, but the mood is way filthier. One moment you’re shouting “Objection!” and pressing a witness, next moment you’re peeking at Maya on that creepy WE-TRACK-U gadget and she’s bent over somewhere she really shouldn’t be, tits bouncing while she “accidentally” drops something for the third time. It keeps this weird balance where you actually care about the case, and then you forget the case completely because someone’s getting slowly corrupted in the background and you’re too busy watching. The writing leans heavy into parody, it constantly pokes fun at the original series, but then it turns around and gives you scenes that feel way too hot to be a joke. Bluecorp 2 is doing shady stuff again, sure, but the real crime is how quickly half of the cast ends up naked or morally broken.

Story goes from goofy to kinda fucked up pretty fast, and that’s where the netorare thing shows up. You’re the male protag, but you’re also this helpless viewer sometimes, forced to watch your “ally” get dragged deeper into sleaze while you poke around in menus and evidence. There’s a sick little thrill when you check the tracker, see a new scene unlock, and realize Maya’s doing something she’ll never admit later. Sometimes she’s just teasing, sometimes she’s getting used by side characters you wanted to punch from the first moment they appeared. Big tits are everywhere, by the way, like the artist was physically allergic to small breasts. Every time a new girl shows up the game practically shoves her chest into frame first, then remembers to give her a face. The voyeur angle hits hard: cameras, peeping through doors, catching a corrupt “training session” in a place that was totally innocent in the original games. It’s sleazy on purpose, and the point & click parts encourage you to poke every stupid hotspot, because half of them end up triggering some lewd animation or a dirty line instead of something useful. Trading cards of the girls are just pure fanbrain candy, like a horny gacha without the gacha, and I hate that I cared enough to try and complete the set.

Anahel looks like the kind of girl you’d expect to see carrying books and blushing at compliments, not swinging a giant axe and smashing horny demons while her tits bounce in every direction like they have their own AI. She’s this “chosen one” from some prophecy, supposed to stop ancient evil from flooding the world with corruption, but honestly half the time it feels like the corruption is just trying to get into her panties first. One minute you’re walking through a haunted forest, fog and creepy statues all serious fantasy vibe, and the next a bunch of slimy dark creatures surround her, rip part of her clothes, and you’re sitting there with your phone thinking, “yeah, ok, guess I’m saving the world with one hand now.” I like how she starts modest, shy, all covered up, but the more you mess with the story and go after this Goddess’ Heart artifact, the more the game is like “what if we just show a little more ass here, a little more underboob there.” It pretends to be noble adventure, but the camera is always five seconds away from diving right into her cleavage anyway.

The tone is actually kind of stupid in a fun way. You’ve got this dark lord planning to open a portal and enslave everyone, classic fantasy villain stuff, but his army basically looks like they escaped from a hentai meme. Lewd swarms, tentacle things, horny cultists, all trying very hard to make sure Anahel ends up used, filled, or at least dripping from something. Sometimes the humor lands, like when an important NPC is giving you a dramatic speech and the dialogue just casually mentions her “nice big ass” as if that’s part of the prophecy. Other times the jokes are a bit cringe, like the game really thinks it invented sex puns. But whatever, I still kept tapping through dialogs on my phone on the bus, pretending I was just checking WhatsApp while this “holy savior” with ridiculous big tits was getting cornered in a ruined temple. There’s this fight where you mess up a dodge and instead of simple “you lose,” Anahel ends up pinned to a stone altar by these demon hands, her armor shredded off, moaning and trying to resist as the scene just gets wetter and more detailed. I hated how long that animation lasted, but also I let it play three times in a row.

What I like is that even when it’s trying to be dramatic about fate and destiny, it never forgets the real point: Anahel is in constant danger of being fucked senseless by anything that crawls out of the portal. The fantasy setting gives just enough excuse for crazy outfits and silly magic scenes. One second you’re reading about ancient relics, the next an “artifact examination” turns into her pressing her huge tits around some glowing crystal while it reacts to her body heat in very specific places. The 2D art has this hentai vibe that doesn’t pretend to be high art, just straight to the point, soft curves, big ass, every position framed like a lewd screenshot you’d send to the wrong Telegram chat by accident. Sometimes the pacing is weird, like you want to see more teasing and the game jumps straight to penetration, or it keeps you in a long dungeon where nothing sexy happens for too long and you start scrolling Instagram out of habit. But when it decides to turn horny, it really goes for it. Corruption edging in, clothes falling apart, messed-up “save the world by letting it fuck you a little” vibes that feel dirty in that guilty browser-history way. The story keeps telling you “don’t let evil penetrate the world,” and all I could think half the time was “yeah, but evil is definitely penetrating Anahel first.” In a good way. Or bad. I forgot which.