Straight!? feels like some horny time traveler grabbed one of those old college slice of life anime, shoved it into a clumsy 3D engine, added dicks and awkward eye contact, then forgot to polish anything. And somehow it works. You start as Zack, this “totally straight” guy who narrates like he’s trying to convince himself as much as you. First day of college, new dorm, and suddenly there’s Braden, the roommate who looks like every “cute bro” meme on Reddit but talks like an actual dude, not some porn actor reading from a broken teleprompter. The story takes its time, way too much sometimes. Instead of jumping straight to cock in mouth, you get long nights on crappy dorm beds, shirtless stretching that lasts a bit too long, brushing teeth together, “accidental” eye contact at the worst times, and conversations that start with stupid jokes and end with “why the fuck am I thinking about his lips.” The whole thing is a slow corruption of Zack’s own idea of himself, mixed with self exploration in the most literal ways. Like you go from jerking off under the sheets trying not to think about your roommate, to having him straight up ask what you’re watching on your phone, and you feel that little panic in your chest, even though it’s just a visual novel.

The sex doesn’t pop out of nowhere. It kinda leaks in. A really long stare in the locker room, a dumb “I’ll help you shave” moment, then suddenly there’s a hand too close to your cock and the game just lets the silence stay there. When the first proper oral scene hits, it almost feels wrong, like you’re watching two dudes cross a line they built together over hours of talking about nothing. There’s anal, yeah, and it goes from “bro just helping out” to “I want to feel you” before either of them is ready to say it out loud. The romance lives in those tiny choices: do you look away or keep staring at his body, do you joke when he opens up about his past, do you touch his shoulder for one second too long. Sometimes the dialogue is clunky as hell, like someone typing in Discord while half horny and half insecure, and then out of nowhere you get a line that just hits you, because you remember that one guy from school you still stalk on Instagram. The 3D models are rough in early parts, like weird plastic dolls, but later scenes suddenly look better and you can almost feel skin where it used to look like wax. It’s inconsistent and kinda ugly in spots, which weirdly fits the story, because Zack is not some smooth porn fantasy. He jerks off alone, he freaks out, he says dumb shit, he pretends to be fine when he’s obviously falling for his roommate’s stupid smile. And even when you finally get to the heavy gay sex, it still feels like two idiots trying to figure out what they want from each other, not just bodies colliding. The game spends way too long on little things like brushing knees in bed or sharing a blanket during a movie, and not enough on big dramatic payoffs, but if you like that shaky first time feeling where lust and fear mix together until you can’t tell which is which, this thing nails it in the messiest way.

God Tier Academy feels like somebody smashed a horny dating sim into a shounen anime and then said, “yeah ok, but what if we don’t give the MC any actual power and just see how fast he dies.” You’re this dude with busted, unstable magic, officially a nobody, secretly shoved into the top freak school in the country as a spy. The teachers can blow up buildings, the students are literal walking disasters, and you’re trying not to shit yourself while a government officer on your phone reminds you they’ll ruin your family if you run. It’s great. It’s also stupid. In a good way. Mostly.

What really got me is the tone whiplash. One scene you’re in a dark hallway, some monster girl with a tongue too long to be legal breathing in your ear, the game doing that slow zoom while the sound design goes all wet and sticky. Next scene you’re in a normal classroom, fighting sleep while the big tit combat instructor casually explains how to decapitate a demon “before or after foreplay, up to you.” The romance stuff swings between actually sweet and “ok this is straight-up hentai logic.” You can be in a semi-serious convo about trust and betrayal, and two clicks later you’re in a group sex mess on a training field where someone is using a magic shield spell to keep the cum from hitting the grass. There is teasing everywhere, lots of it feeling like those old ecchi anime jokes, but then the game just goes full “nope, we are doing anal and multiple penetration right now, no fade to black.” I liked that it doesn’t pretend to be classy. I also hated that sometimes it pretends to care about school politics for longer than 4 lines, but I forgot that as soon as one of the girls did that ahegao with glowing eyes after a blowjob scene that transitions straight into a horror-styled jump scare. Don’t ask, it actually works. Kind of. Maybe.

Multi-lover stuff is where it gets messy in the best way. You can clearly angle for several romance routes at once and the game doesn’t slap your hand. There’s this one moment in a dorm common room where you’ve already been getting handjobs and oral from two different girls on different days, and a third one walks in, monster girl type with claws and soft voice, and realizes you’ve been flirting with everyone. Instead of the usual jealousy drama, she basically negotiates terms like a damn lawyer: “Fine, but when we do group training, you’re mine first.” That later turns into an animated group scene where she’s riding you, another girl is on your face, and some very enthusiastic dude from the combat club joins in like this is the most normal thing after sparring. The male-on-male angle is treated pretty casually, more like “yo, you’re hard, I’m hard, we’re in a storage room, why not” than big identity speeches, which honestly fits this setting better. There’s also a classroom scene where you’re supposed to be learning spell control, but everyone ends up using the practice barriers as privacy screens for blowjobs and quick anal, while the UI still pretends you’re making serious “tactical choices.” One tiny thing that drove me insane: the mobile interface sometimes hides the text box right when a character is mid-confession, so you tap, and suddenly you jump from “I think I might love...” straight into a creampie animation. No idea what she said. Probably important. I kept meaning to rewind, and then I didn’t.

God Tier Academy feels like one of those horny power fantasy animes that got drunk, fell into a porn studio and just decided to stay there. You’re this poor bastard with basically broken magic, tossed into a school where every other student could fold you in half by sneezing too hard. Government has your balls in a vice, so you go anyway, pretending to be some kind of undercover badass, when in reality you’re walking plot armor with anxiety and a hard-on. The fun part is how fast things go from “I’m going to die in this hallway” to “I’m getting a sloppy blowjob from a girl who could vaporize a building.” It has that nice mix of fear and horny where your brain’s like: I might get murdered, but at least I’m getting my dick sucked first.

The whole academy is split into the usual ranks, S at the top, D at the bottom, and you’re basically not even on the list. That gives you a good excuse to be the punching bag, the pervy therapist, and the accidental harem magnet at the same time. One moment you’re stuck in a training class, trying not to get turned into a stain on the wall during a mock battle, then after class the same girl who almost burned your face off is sitting on your lap in a locker room, tongue in your mouth, your hand under her skirt, and she’s grinding her huge ass on you like that was the plan from the beginning. The game loves going from serious political shit, like shady higher-ups and secret missions, to you balls deep in some monster girl with tentacles coiling around your legs while she milks you from both ends. And it doesn’t pretend to be classy about it. There’s ahegao faces, messy creampies, spit strings during blowjobs, cum leaking out on the sheets, the whole thing. The 3D look is pretty solid on mobile too, even if sometimes a boob jiggle looks a bit rubbery, but honestly your brain is not in “animation critique mode” when you’re watching a double penetration scene on your phone in bed.

What hit me more than I expected is that it tries to be funny and romantic in between all the filth, and somehow doesn’t completely fail. You’ll be sitting in a cafeteria scene, chatting with this girl who acts all tsundere and smug, teasing you in front of everyone, foot rubbing against your crotch under the table like she’s bored out of her mind. Then later, same girl is whining with an ahegao face while you fuck her from behind in a dark classroom, her tits slapping against the desk, moaning your fake name like she’ll die without your cock. There’s group scenes where two or three girls share you and talk shit to each other mid-oral, like “you missed a spot” while they swap your dick between mouths, and then someone decides to shove a finger in your ass just to see you twitch. There’s also some pretty rough stuff, blood, violence, magic ripping monsters apart, so it leans into horror more than you’d expect from a game where half the UI time you’re just tapping through flirting. And, yeah, the gay content is there too, not some tiny checkbox scene, but actual dude-on-dude heat if you go for it, which I kind of didn’t plan at first, then suddenly I’m watching the MC on his knees sucking off a guy who just saved his life, because of course gratitude scenes get sexual in this place. The story pretends to be about politics and survival, but the real loop is: do mission, almost die, go back to dorm, get a handjob, maybe an anal scene in the shower if you picked the right options, wake up to more drama, repeat. It’s messy, horny, a bit trashy, and weirdly relaxing, like watching a long-running lewd anime on your phone where every episode ends with somebody getting filled, sometimes by monsters, sometimes by classmates, sometimes by more than one at once.

This thing starts innocent like some cheap training sim and then suddenly you’re in a weird horny dojo where every “lesson” looks like it came from Pornhub comments. You play this asian girl with big tits and big ass, cute dumb face, no memories, just dropped into a place where the Master clearly has more ideas about her body than about martial arts. At first you’re just clicking around, picking up mop, bucket, little useless items, thinking “ok, normal point & click stuff, puzzle time, yay”. Then it hits you that half the “puzzles” are just excuses to make her strip, bend over, get on her knees and play the obedient student who “accidentally” flashes everything.

The best part is how it pretends to be serious dojo cleaning. You’re told to mop the floor, right, very basic. Then the floor is not the only thing getting wet. One wrong choice and she slips, falls on her ass, skirt flips up, panties pushed aside, and of course the camera suddenly finds the exact angle where you see her pussy and the little sex toy the Master “made her wear inside so she focuses more”. You click something again, oops, the toy starts vibrating. She’s stuck there, blushing, trying to keep “proper posture” while her legs shake. It’s dumb humor, but it works. The game never shuts up with teasing. Dialogue is all like “you want to be a good student, yes? then open your mouth wider” and it’s obviously not about pronunciation. One scene has you “practice breathing” and it just turns into slow oral, with her trying to keep rhythm like it’s some yoga app, except instead of “inhale” you get “don’t spill it”. Spoiler: she spills it, then gets humiliation talk and clean-up duty. With her tongue.

There’s a nice mix of control and helplessness. You click where she goes, you choose answers, but it always ends with her getting more exposed, more used. Exhibition stuff creeps in all sneaky. You’re told to train in the courtyard, thinking it’s safe, then some students pass by while she’s in half-open gi, no bra, nipples basically saying hello. She pretends she doesn’t notice, Master pretends too, and you actually have to click to make her keep “holding position” while they walk around and stare. And yeah, the game uses 3D CG in that kind of plastic hentai-poser way, but sometimes the angles are just filthy in a good way. There’s this one scene where she’s doing “private meditation” at night, which is just masturbation with a toy she “found during training”. You control how fast she goes, when she stops, if she pulls her top up or completely strips. If you push it too far, she gets caught in the middle of orgasm, legs shaking, fingers still inside, and then you get a long humiliation scene that somehow manages to be hot and kind of funny and kind of “wow, this dojo is HR nightmare”. Vaginal sex is mostly framed as “reward” she’s not really ready for, so you click through her hesitation, get this slow teasing penetration, and of course they go raw, finish inside, and act like it’s part of spiritual discipline. Creampie just sits there on her thighs while she tries to bow politely, and you can click around to get close-ups. It’s messed up in that specific porn-game way where everyone talks about honor and training while she’s literally drooling cum from both ends.