Guy gets flattened by discount Truck-kun, respawns in horny Narnia, and the first thing the gods hand him is not wisdom or justice, it’s a cock and plot armor. That’s basically the energy here. You start as this broke college grad who literally failed at life, then wake up in Evenralm where everyone has either massive tits, a perfect ass, pointy ears, horns, or some combo of all three, and nobody owns a bra that actually fits. The world looks like one of those fantasy gacha ads where you pretend you’re there for “story” while one-handed scrolling on your phone. Except here you’re the main character, not the guy who dies in the prologue to motivate someone else. You walk into a random village and every girl talks to you like you’re the only male protagonist on the server. Which, to be fair, you kinda are.

It sells itself as Harem King journey, but the real plot is “how many girls can I accidentally seduce while pretending I’m saving the world from the Demon Lord”. You go from “I can’t pay rent” to “I guess I have to share a campfire with elf mage with big tits and dragon girl with stupidly big ass, oh no, what a tragedy”. Routes feel like scuffed dating sim logic: give wrong answer, girl still blushes, give right answer, she blushes harder and suddenly you’re getting a blowjob behind a tavern after some “training” quest. The animated scenes are the kind where the dev definitely paused a lot of JAV to get angles right. Mouths actually move on oral scenes, hips grind properly during vaginal, thighs jiggle in that “the physics are almost too honest” way. Sometimes the MC talks in the middle of sex and you’re like “shut up dude, nobody came here for your motivational speech”, but then the camera pulls in on an elf riding you like she’s trying to erase your spine and your brain forgives everything again. There’s this one camp scene where half your party is asleep and one of the girls sneaks into your bed, climbs on top, and the only sound is her wet squelch and those tiny gasps, and I swear the text box could have been blank and it still would work. The funny part is I kept telling myself “I’ll just check one more event” and three boss fights later I’m min-maxing affection points like some horny accountant. If you want the good stuff, be weirdly nice in dialog, always pick the slightly pervy joke, and never skip “optional” side quests, because that’s where the thickest scenes hide. Treat every fetch quest like foreplay and every camp chat like a chance to unlock another girl sitting on your face. Do that and the game basically rewards you for being a patient little degenerate.

Your phone is the real main character here. Not the guy you play, not the girls with the soft smiles and way-too-tight jeans, but that stupid little screen that never stops buzzing at the wrong time. You start with this cozy, slightly boring relationship, the kind where you already know how she takes her coffee and what porn tabs you keep half-hidden. It feels safe. Almost too safe. Then the messages start getting weird. Notifications pop up that are just off enough to make your stomach sink. A heart emoji from someone you barely remember. A photo cropped just a little too carefully. A chat thread with way too many deleted messages. You are not supposed to see some of this, and the game knows you want to.

The whole thing plays out like you are stuck between two chats at once, trying not to fuck everything up while also kind of wanting to. You switch between talking sweet to your girlfriend and flirting with someone you probably should not even be typing “hey” to. One second you are apologizing for being late to dinner, next second you are staring at a close-up of a huge ass pressed up against a mirror, trying to decide if you send a horny reply or leave it on read and pretend it never happened. The game likes to tease you with those little choices. Do you scroll further down the gallery and risk seeing something that will ruin your night, or put the phone away like a good boy and pretend the problem is not there. Obviously you scroll.

The cheating stuff is not just “haha, sex with someone else”, it is more like slow poison. Your guy reads a message, hesitates, lies about it in the next scene, and that small lie echoes later when she looks at you just a bit too long and says “you alright?” while her own phone buzzes face down on the table. There are AI-style CGs of her bent over the couch with her hair messy and her ass taking up half the screen, but the more you stare the more you keep thinking “who took this angle” and it stops feeling safe at all. One scene really hit: you are on voice call with your girl, she is telling you about her day, and in a side chat some other woman sends a bathroom mirror nude, wet skin and fat ass barely covered, with a tiny caption like “you thinking of me?” and the game just lets both conversations sit there at the same time, forcing you to juggle guilt and lust like some horny clown.

Sometimes the romance hits in a messed up way. There is this quiet late-night text where she admits she is scared of losing you, right after you spent five minutes scrolling a chat that makes it pretty obvious someone already had their hands on her. Or maybe they did not. The game is a liar and it enjoys that. You can be gentle with her, call her cute pet names, send selfies of your chest, and it almost feels wholesome… until you notice a tiny reflection in a glass door in one CG that looks like another guy’s shoulder in the background. Could be nothing. Could be everything. The tension is less “will I get laid” and more “who is fucking who behind whose back while everybody smiles and says goodnight”. And the wild part is, you keep pulling the phone back up anyway, swiping through chats like a junkie, hoping the next message hurts a little less or a lot more. Hard to tell which one you actually want.

Malcolm is the kind of guy you scroll past in real life without even noticing. Skinny, nervous, always a little hunched like the world is too loud for him. The game just throws you into his messy life in Walkerville, this weirdly normal Texas town that keeps acting like it’s hiding something behind every white picket fence and church smile. He lives with his mom and his sisters, and yeah, the game does not pretend that everyone’s thoughts are pure. It starts small. A door not fully closed when his older sister changes, that one innocent towel slip that lingers a bit too long, a late night where he “accidentally” opens the wrong room and just stands there, watching, hand already twitching toward his crotch before you even realize you clicked. The voyeur stuff creeps in quiet, like it was always there and the game just lets you stop pretending.

What surprised me is how it mixes dumb horny jokes with moments that feel kind of raw. Malcolm wants to stop being this loser and “be alpha” or whatever, but you see him in front of his laptop, porn tabs open, jerking off to the thought of his own mother bending over the laundry basket, big ass filling the screen, and you can feel how pathetic he knows he is. The game lets you push him further. You decide if he keeps watching from the crack of the door or actually walks in when his busty mom is stretched over the couch, panties riding up, asking for “a quick back rub” that your brain instantly twists into something else. It’s dirty in a way that feels almost too close, like browsing Pornhub in a private tab and suddenly stumbling on that one “mom” actress that reminds you of someone you know. You can focus on straight stuff if you want, just tits, pussies, toys, bare skin under flimsy house clothes, that kind of thing. Or you poke into the futa / trans side of town, which the game flags clearly so you don’t wander into it by accident, and there’s this odd thrill when a girl you thought was just a cute neighbor ends up pulling out something thick and throbbing from under her skirt while still having soft curves and a wet, tight pussy. It makes Malcolm freak out a bit, and it kind of made me do the same, in a good way.

Scenes play out slowly, with that visual novel pacing where you click through every little smirk and every bad joke he throws out when he’s nervous. Sometimes it works, like when his milf mom calls him out for staring and you can either chicken out or double down and compliment her tits in this awkward, blunt way that somehow gets her blushing instead of slapping him. Other times it drags on while you just want to reach the moment where she wraps her lips around his cock or grinds her big ass against him in the kitchen and “accidentally” rubs the tip against her soaked panties. There is this one masturbation scene with his younger sister, caught on a half-broken phone camera in the bathroom mirror, where she thinks nobody is home and spreads herself on the sink, one hand on her clit, the other holding a cheap toy she probably ordered from Amazon. That part stuck with me way more than I expected. Not even the nudity, but the way she looks around, bites her lip, keeps whispering Malcolm’s name like she hates herself for it. The humor cuts through sometimes, with him making stupid inner comments while jerking to his own family, but then in the next click his cock is out in his room and he is stroking himself raw, trying not to moan too loud while listening to muffled sounds through the wall. It is messy, horny, a bit trashy, and doesn’t really care about being “nice”. Which kind of fits this town full of smiling faces and very dirty secrets, all waiting for Malcolm to stop pretending he is just a passive loser and start fucking his way into the role he keeps dreaming about.

This thing calls itself “Life is Vanilla” but it’s really that messy, horny, half-true story everyone swears they’ll never tell in public, then dumps in a group chat after three beers. You’re in control of this awkward 18-year-old guy who talks big, watches way too much porn on his phone, and still loses eye contact whenever a girl actually pulls her top halfway up. It has that vibe of early uni convention season, where you’re juggling class, cheap weed, cosplay plans and wondering how the hell other people are already fucking in bathroom stalls while you’re arguing about Marvel canon. The tone jumps a lot: one moment it’s goofy jokes and dumb memes, then suddenly you’re watching your character get his first handjob in a cramped room and the camera just stays there, way too intimate, like you accidentally opened someone’s private Snapchat. It’s all 3D styled in a way that sometimes looks hot as hell and sometimes looks like everyone got slightly too much botox, but somehow that kinda fits the awkward sex energy. And yes, there is a lot of focus on big tits and big asses, not “tasteful” or subtle, more like the game knows exactly why most people click it.

What actually works for me is how it treats virginity and cheating in the same universe without pretending to be moral about it. Early on you’re still a clueless virgin who freaks out when a girl starts slow teasing, grinding on your lap while still fully dressed, just her shirt riding up and your brain short-circuits. Then later, you’re in these situations where some girl who absolutely should not be touching you is doing it anyway, like a “I have a boyfriend but he’s boring” type, sliding her hand into your pants while she keeps talking about totally normal stuff so no one notices. The game doesn’t pause to judge her, it just lets you enjoy the fucked up thrill. There is a scene in a shared apartment kitchen that really stuck with me, the kind of fake-casual exhibitionism where she “accidentally” bends over a bit too far, no panties, pretending to search a lower cabinet while the MC is desperately hiding his boner behind a cereal box. It makes group sex later on feel like a natural train wreck of all the small bad decisions. Of course there’s oral, creampies, clothes coming off in the worst possible order, that thing where a girl spits on your cock first and smiles like she just discovered a cheat code. Weirdly, the only thing that really annoyed me was one shirt texture on a side girl’s outfit that looked cheap as hell. I kept staring at it every time she stripped, which is the most unsexy complaint to have, but it just pulled me out of it and then I’d forget what line I was even reading in the scene. Anyway, it all plays like someone’s overconfident memory of their youth, mixed with shit that obviously didn’t happen, and that chaotic mix is kind of the whole charm, even when it’s trying way too hard and somehow not trying at all at the same time.